天生冤家（2015）

The Odd Couple S02E11

Part 2 March 5, 2021, 12:51 p.m.

I'm in.
好极了多谢泰迪
Great. Thank you, Teddy.
你居然叫泰迪你当真
You're asking Teddy? Seriously?
对啊怎么了
Yeah. What's wrong?
我都能开车送你去车管所了
So I'm good enough to chauffeur you to the DMV,
却没资格在旁边指导你开车
but I'm not good enough to help you learn how to drive?
奥斯卡是谁给你自信让你以为我会叫你
Oscar, how could you think that I would possibly ask you?
在你生活的每一方面
You have a reckless disregard for the rules,
你都彻底无视规则
in every aspect of your life.
时尚卫生语法
Fashion, hygiene, grammar,
卫生值得再重复一遍
hygiene-- it bears repeating.
我不就是不注意什么时候该喷除臭剂
So I'm not vigilant about when I should wear deodorant...
每天都得喷绝不能偷懒
Every day. Never a downside.
可说到大事我都是非常负责的
But on the big stuff, I am completely responsible.
奥斯卡你的节目还有15秒就开始了
Oscar, your show starts in 15 seconds!
妈蛋我还以为今天礼拜六呢
Damn it! I thought it was Saturday!
小面包车好极了
A miniature van. Splendid.
您好高贵的金属坐骑
Greetings, noble metal steed.
愿您能在载着我初次自驾游纽约城的时候
May you guide and protect me as you take me on my maiden voyage around
指引保护我
this new city of York.
谢天谢地带的是抗噪耳机
Noise cancelling. Thank God.
我现在重新补《迷失》第一季
You know, I'm catching up on the first season of Lost.
打从女儿出生后我就弃剧了
I missed it when my daughter was born.
她可真是天使是我一辈子的幸运
And she's an angel and the best thing that ever happened to me,
以下省略
blah, blah, blah.
-要分你一半吗 -不了谢谢
- You want half of this? - No, thank you.
我的双手得牢牢握紧方向盘
I will be keeping my hands firmly on the wheel.
说到方向盘
Um, speaking of which...
无意冒犯泰迪
No offense, Teddy.
没事那玩意儿肯定很恶心
None taken. That thing's got to be nasty.
等到了流感季节你就会感激我了
You will thank me during flu season.
好了后视镜正常
Let's see. Rearview mirror, check.
乘客侧外后视镜正常
Passenger-side mirror, check.
司机侧外后视镜
Driver-side mirror,
有点脏不过还能容忍♥
a little bit streaky. I'll allow it. Okay.
现在我要开始打信♥号♥♥
And now I shall signal my intent
驶入车流了
to move into the flow of traffic.
宽敞大路
And the open road
在召唤我
beckons.
-怎么了 -骑摩托车的
- What? - That motorcyclist!
他从哪出来的
Where did he come from?!
不好说看着有点像波多黎各人
I don't know. He looks Puerto Rican.
他都没打信♥号♥♥就直插♥进♥我的车道
He veered right into my lane without signaling.
费里斯这儿可是纽约
Felix, this is New York City.
他没朝我们丢一杯尿你就该庆幸了
You're lucky he didn't throw a cup of urine at us.
没事
It's okay.
没有出事一切正常
Nothing's wrong. Everything's okay.
再来一次
Let's try this again.
天啊
Oh, my God!
怎么怎么了
What?! What is it?!
这团烟看起来像怪物
It looks like some kind of monster made out of smoke!
这么快
That was quick.
简直就是灾难
It was an unmitigated disaster.
泰迪真的是什么都不管
Teddy paid no attention whatsoever.
别开舱门千万别
Do not open that hatch. Do not!
还是开了
He opened it.
懂了吧
See what I mean?
费里斯开车没你想象得那么简单了吧
Well, Felix, I guess driving wasn't as easy as you thought.
确实我承认我比自己原先想的
No. I will admit that I may need more guidance
需要更多的指导
than I had originally anticipated.
我很高兴你终于想通了
Well, I'm glad you finally came to your senses.
确实所以...
Absolutely. So...
莫夫你能教我开车吗
Murph, will you teach me to drive?
当真
Really?
老兄荣幸至极啊
Aw, dude, I'd be honored.
尽管我爸总是说
Although my dad always said
授人以鱼不如授人以渔
it was better to teach a man to fish,
所以要不我教你钓鱼吧
so would you rather do that?
还是先教开车吧
Let's start with the driving.
副驾驶归我
I call shotgun.
可怜的奥斯卡
Poor Oscar.
你说什么呢
What are you talking about?
你看起来有点小伤心
Well, it seems like you're a little hurt
因为费里斯没叫你教他开车
that Felix didn't ask you to teach him.
什么你以为我乐意浪费大好时光
What? You think I'd want to waste a beautiful day like this
傻坐在车里吗
cooped up in some car?
看好这个弯费里斯
Ha-ha! Check out that turn, Felix!
你没在啊
You're not in the room.
我要开下空调
I'm gonna turn on the air
因为香水实在熏眼睛
'cause the body spray's getting to my eyes.
非常感谢你的配合莫夫
Thank you so much for doing this, Murph.
老兄你太客气了
Aw, you got it, buddy.
我最近约的一位热辣足球妈咪
This hot soccer mom I dated
也开着这样一辆小面包
had a minivan just like this.
后面一排座位能完全放倒
Those seats go all the way down.
我是从车主手册上知道的
I know that from reading the owner's manual,
而你是通过搞别人老婆知道的
and you know that from fornicating.
好了两手握紧方向盘十点和两点方向
Okay, so I shall hold the wheel at ten and two.
在十点和两点握住方向盘
虽然我不是老司机但我很确定
Oh, I am no expert, but pretty sure
你应该时刻握着方向盘才对
you should hold it the whole time.
想法不错莫夫
Good thinking, Murph.
-再试一次好吧 -好
- Well, let's try this again, shall we? - Okay.
可以开走了
And... Good to go.
看啊我在开车
Look at this-- I'm motoring!
我要响应宽阔大道的召唤
I am answering the call of the open road.
停停停
Whoa. Stop, stop, stop, stop!
我做错什么了
What did I do?
宝贝你好啊
Hey, babe. How you doing?
你看棒球吗
You ever watch baseball?
我是我
I'm me.
莫夫
Murph.
我不能让你倚着窗户
I can't have you hanging out the window
跟女人搭讪这又不是夜♥总♥会♥
talking to some women-- this is not a discotheque.
你说得对我很抱歉
You're right. I-I'm... I'm sorry.
你真好还教他开车
Mm, aw, it's so sweet you're teaching him how to drive.
关怀就是最大的动力
Well, it's easy when you care.
莫夫前面是十字路口
Murph? I'm coming to an intersection.
你做得不错相信自己
You're doing great, buddy. Believe in yourself.
好吧但是黄灯在闪
Okay, well, the-the light's blinking yellow,
没人减速
but nobody's slowing down.
对别停
Yeah. Don't stop.
这么说我不必给其他人让路
Yeah, so I... I-I don't have to yield to traffic?
对
Yeah.
"对"是说我不必直接开就行
"Yeah" I don't? Just go straight?
对就是那儿
Yeah, right there.
等下直行还是右转
Wait. Straight or right?
莫夫你是跟我说话还是跟她说话呢
Murph, a-are you talking to me or to her?
莫夫我能看见你你在后面太让我分心了
Murph, I can see you. It's very distracting back there!
抱歉
Oh. Sorry.
我完全明白
I totally get it.
你确定你♥爸♥爸不介意吗
Are you sure your dad doesn't mind?
他没关系的
Nah, he's cool.
怎么了
What happened?
莫夫教得不好吗
Was Murph not a good teacher?
驾驶课程不好
Driver's Ed? No.
性♥爱♥课程他绝对成绩优异
Of Sex Ed, he is summa cum laude.
我不得不说这句话了
I guess it has come to this.
奥斯卡
Oscar...
你见到丹妮了吗
have you seen Dani?
瞧你
Aw, look at you.