天生冤家（2015）

The Odd Couple S02E05

Part 2 March 5, 2021, 12:49 p.m.

about his interpretation of Chopin's Concerto No. 1.
你都不想和我喝杯香槟吗
Wouldn't you rather have a glass of champagne with me?
当然想看着我
Of course. Look at me.
我正在和性感尤物约会
Here I am on a date with this enchanting creature,
我却对素不相识的男人着迷
and I'm obsessing about some man I don't even know,
他正经过我们去往洗手间
who just walked by, and he's heading to the bathroom,
我走了我去追了
and here I go! I'm going in!
艾米丽你猜这次无声拍卖♥♥要展示什么
Emily, you will not believe what they have at the silent auction.
两张碧昂丝的贵宾票
Two front-row tickets to Beyoncé.
不是吧天呐我超爱碧昂丝
No way! Oh, my God, I love Beyoncé.
我基佬前夫万圣节扮成了她
My gay ex-husband was her for Halloween.
每周三也是
And on Wednesdays.
我们快去写上名字
Let's put our names down.
泰迪啊你知道我有多爱碧昂丝
Now, Teddy, you know how much I love my Beyoncé.
我知道小亲亲但是
Oh, yeah, I know, boo-boo, but, um,
看起来丹妮一心想得到票呢
it seems like Dani has her heart set on those tickets.
你关心丹妮胜过关心你老婆吗
And you care about Dani more than you care about your wife?
我去去就回
I'll be right back.
奥斯卡你竟然来了
Oscar, you actually showed up.
刮目相看啊
I'm impressed.
开什么玩笑我大爱交响乐团
Are you kidding? I love the philharmonic.
也就是致力于演奏音乐的
Which is an orchestra or society devoted
乐团或社团
to the performance of music.
你还挺懂的嘛
You really know your stuff.
话说我们要做个
Hey, we're doing a series
18世纪维也纳作曲家系列
on 18th century Viennese composers.
你最喜欢谁
Who's your favorite?
我可不想厚此薄彼
Oh, I don't like to play favorites.
失陪了
Excuse me.
-费里斯你在这 -奥斯卡别打扰我
- Felix, there you are. - Oscar, don't distract me.
我在等一位男士从洗手间出来
I'm waiting for a man to come out of the bathroom
我好展开行动
so I can make my move.
听着我觉得夏洛特察觉了
Listen, I think Charlotte's on to me.
我警告过你不要采取那种骗局
I warned you that deception was not the path to take.
好了就当我帮你解决问题了
Okay, so let's say I help you and you pull this off.
很好就这么定了
Great, let's say that.
就算她把骗术当真了
Even if she believes the ruse,
有个人你是骗不了的
there's one person that you can never fool.
你自己
Yourself.
你会意识到自己在说谎
You will know that you are lying,
你的良心会被罪恶感侵蚀
and the guilt will eat away at your conscience.
你是说我应该忘掉她
You mean I should just forget about the girl
就像第二部贝多芬电影里那小子一样
like the son in the second Beethoven movie?
我入了这个电影的坑
I fell down a rabbit hole.
要我提个决定性建议吗
Might I make a radical suggestion?
你能学习一下这位总统吗
That you take a cue from the president
这座音乐厅就是以他命名的
for whom this great hall is named.
像亚伯一样
And like Abe,
做人正直有朝一日
be honest. At some point,
你会展露真实的自己
you're going to have to reveal your true self.
坦诚吗
Honesty, huh?
有意思
Interesting.
这也许能唬到她
Yeah, she might fall for that.
这不是唬到谁的问题
It's not something that you fall for.
我说的是真正的坦诚
I'm talking about real, genuine honesty.
我和艾米丽开始交往时我们发现
When Emily and I started dating, we found that we were closest
勇于表现真我让关系更亲密
when we had the courage to be our true selves.
现在谁都不足以让我花费心思
And now there is no one that I would rather spend time with
除了奈杰尔·海登普劳特
than Nigel Hadyn-Plout.
他来了
He's coming!
就算星期三我前夫也没这么基
Even on Wednesdays, my ex wasn't that gay.
打扰了
Excuse me.
我是奈杰尔·海登普劳特
I'm Nigel Hadyn-Plout.
可不就是你
Of course you are.
你是奥斯卡·麦迪逊吗
Are you Oscar Madison?
是啊
Uh, yeah.
我是瑞里斯·方格尔费里斯·昂格尔
And I'm Relix Funger. Felix Unger.
我是你广播节目的忠实听众
I'm a huge fan of your radio show.
能否给我些指点
Would you mind if I picked your brain?
我在参加梦幻橄榄球联赛
I'm in this fantasy football league,
我很需要一些球员让渡的建议
and I could really use some waiver wire advice.
我今晚有点忙
I'm a little busy tonight.
我明白
Oh, oh, I get it.
我讨厌粉丝找我来谈这谈那的
I hate it when fans approach me at these things.
一群音乐书呆子
A bunch of music wonks
还想谈论我对肖邦的演绎
who want to talk about my interpretation of Chopin.
呆子
Nerds.
祝你联赛取得成功
Well, good luck with your league.
我要把坦诚骗局付诸实践了
I'm gonna put your honesty scam into effect.
那不是骗局
It's not a scam.
是做到真正坦诚
Just be genuinely truthful.
难道我是世上最后的正人君子
Am I the last honest man on Earth?
该死
Damn.
我想邀请奥斯卡加入梦幻联赛
I wanted to ask Oscar to join our fantasy league.
马友友退出了
Yo-Yo Ma dropped out,
我和普拉西多需要一个
so Plácido and I need someone else
热爱橄榄球的候选人
who's passionate about football.
好吧不用找了
Well, look no further.
我就是
Here I am.
所以大家都叫我费里斯·橄榄球
That's why they call me Felix Football.
那么你最喜欢哪支球队
So, who's your favorite team?
当然是纽约队
New York, of course.
巨人还是喷气机
Giants or Jets?
喷气机
Jets.
因为当你是喷气机时
Uh, because when you're a Jet,
你会一路喷上天
you're a Jet all the way.
我必须向你坦白
I have to be honest with you.
我今晚并没有计划要来
I had no plans to come here tonight.
我对古典音乐一无所知
I don't know anything about classical music.
我感觉到了
I had a feeling.
当我问你是否喜欢维瓦尔第时
When I asked you if you liked Vivaldi,
你说你不喜欢意大利面
you said you weren't a pasta guy.
这是双重谎言
Which is a lie on two levels.
我喜欢意大利面
I love pasta.
我想我只是为了讨好你
I think I was just trying to impress you.
你为什么不说实话
Why can't you just tell the truth?
不知道可能是我怕你...
I don't know, I guess I was worried you wouldn't...
不喜欢真实的我
like the real me.
那何不给我个机会去了解真的你
Well, why don't you give me a chance to get to know him?
因为现在我们之间这段对话
Because this conversation we're having right now--
作为真实的你的对话
the one where you're actually being you--
还不赖
it's not bad.
好的那就坦诚
Okay, honesty it is.
抱歉
Sorry.
有事要忙
Duty calls.
没关系
No problem.
费里斯你是个天才
Felix, you're a genius.
你的坦诚计划真的起作用了
Your honesty plan is officially working.
很好很好个人成长令人振奋
Oh, great, great, great, personal growth, very exciting.
快速问答
Quick question.
橄榄球队在哪种情况下
Under what circumstances would a football team
会争取两分转换
go for a two-point conversion?
不好意思你脑袋被椰子砸了吗
I'm sorry, did a coconut just land on your head?
有一个开场
There is an opening
奈杰尔的梦幻联赛巴♥赫♥四分卫有空缺
in Nigel's fantasy league, The Quarter-Bachs.
而你要假装你对橄榄球无所不知
Oh, and you need to pretend you know everything about football.
说好的诚实呢
What happened to honesty?
谁管呀我正在攀爬
Who cares?! I am on the precipice
加入梦幻橄榄球联赛的悬崖
of being in a fantasy football league
还能和普拉西多·多明戈一起
with Plácido Domingo,
他正好是我的梦幻歌♥剧队的男高音