天生冤家（2015）

The Odd Couple S02E01

Part 1 March 5, 2021, 12:48 p.m.

快费里斯快点
Come on, Felix, hurry up!
饭前点心马上准备好了
Hors d'oeuvres are almost ready.
饭前点心准备好了
Hors d'oeuvres are ready!
普通清爽牧场薯片什么重要场合啊
Generic Cool Ranch chips. What's the occasion?
你说什么呢
What are you talking about?
我们要看《咪♥咪♥与龙之歌♥》了
We're gonna watch Boobs and Dragons.
那叫《权利的游戏》
It's called Game of Thrones.
还有抱歉
And I'm so sorry,
这周的我已经跟艾米丽看过了
but I already watched this week's episode with Emily.
我都费了这么大劲
After all the trouble I went through?
看我还做了蘸酱
Look, I made dip.
看出来你最近有锻炼肌肉
I see you've been working out.
你跟艾米丽腻得还不够吗
And don't you spend enough time with Emily?
这是我们唯一的共同爱好
This is the only thing we like to do together.
-而且你知道俗话怎么说的 -我知道
- And you know the saying. - Yes, I know.
兄弟如手足女人如衣服是的
"Gents before wenches," Yes.
抱歉我们下周一起看
And I'm sorry. We'll watch next week.
我去艾米丽那里已经迟到了所以
I'm actually due down at Emily's right this minute, so...
我还以为我们要一起看咪♥咪♥
I thought we were gonna see boobs,
没想到你居然想跟妞儿混在一起
but if you'd rather hang out with a girl...
奥斯卡你做饭了吗
Oscar, are you cooking?
-我在热披萨 -有把盒子拿掉吗
- I'm reheating a pizza. - Did you take it out of the box?
我刚刚专注在餐前点心上了
I was focused on the hors d'oeuvres!
说真的奥斯卡
Honestly, Oscar!
我真不懂我♥干♥嘛忍♥你
I don't know why I put up with you!
你一定要当那个世界上...
You have to be the single most...
最不负责任的人嘛
Irresponsible man on earth!
奥斯卡你也听到那个声音了吗
Oscar, do you hear that little voice, too,
还是说你终于把我逼疯幻听了
or have you finally driven me insane?
真行又来了
Okay, here we go again!
我才刚刚进家门你就开始絮叨我
I'm barely home and already you're criticizing me!
那是谁
Who's that?
肯定是楼上哪家的两口子
Must be the couple upstairs.
你怎么到哪都叼个烟
Do you have to smoke out here all the time?
你不是不让我在屋里抽嘛
Well, you won't let me do it in the house!
你在哪都不该抽弗兰克
You shouldn't do it anywhere, Frank.
怎么你是想自杀吗
What, you want to kill yourself?
就现在我想死
Right now I do!
-太荒谬了 -你在干嘛
- Oh, that's ridiculous... - What are you doing?
我们不能站在门口偷听
We're not gonna stand in the doorway and eavesdrop.
当然不我们要到阳台听
No, we're gonna go out on the terrace
那里听得更清楚
where we can hear better.
你想干嘛就干嘛
Do what you want,
但我不会为了低级趣味舍弃我的道德
but I will not compromise my morals for some cheap thrill.
请自便
Suit yourself.
女的觉得男人出轨了
She thinks he's having an affair!
我不在乎
I don't care.
小三是男人的骚秘书
With his slutty secretary.
不感兴趣
Not interested.
还是女人的表妹
Who's also her cousin!
靠
Damn it!
办公室圣诞聚会呢
And what about the office Christmas party?
那也是清白的吗
Was that innocent, too?
又提她昨天就提了两次了
Again? She brought that up twice yesterday.
如果弗兰克有好好听
Well, if Frank would listen,
她就不用重复说了
she wouldn't have to repeat herself.
我当时喝醉了琳达什么都不记得了
I was drunk, Linda. I don't remember anything.
说辞太菜了弗兰克
Rookie move, Frank.
真♥他♥妈♥不敢相信
Un-frickin'-believable!
你这个烟酒不离身的玩意
Between all the drinking and the cigarettes,
每天早上还费那个劲
I don't know why you bother going down
跑健身房♥去干嘛
to that gym every morning.
我们还有健身房♥呢
We have a gym?
就在洗衣间旁边
It's next to the laundry room.
我们还有洗衣间呢
We have a laundry room?
安静安静安静
Quiet, quiet, quiet!
该死的紧身牛仔裤
Damn these skinny jeans!
是艾米丽我应该接的
It's Emily. I should take this.
为什么茜拉还给你发
Then why did Sheila just text you
她脚丫子的照片
a picture of her feet?!
我一会打给你
I'll call you back!
那你跟我说
So, tell me this.
如果弗兰克对他给秘书买♥♥的花
If Frank wasn't feeling guilty about
不觉得内疚的话
the flowers he bought his secretary,
那他为什么要把收据藏起来不让琳达看
why, then, did he hide the receipt from Linda, hmm?
因为她无理取闹
Because she's completely irrational.
-你知道琳达会怎么反应 -我知道
- You know how Linda gets. - I do.
-肯定火冒三丈 -我非常清楚她会有什么反应
- She just flies off the handle! - I know exactly how she gets.
某人来了啊
Aw, there he is.
我的性感大男友
My big, sexy boyfriend.
我只认证男友二字
I'll give you... "Boyfriend."
来我们给你们挪点地儿
Here, we can scoot.
这地方够你们的小瘦屁♥股♥坐的
We've got enough space for your skinny butts.
不了我们买♥♥点吃的带走
No, no, we're just grabbing some food to go,
此时弗兰克正可疑地洗着下班澡
while Frank takes a very suspicious post-work shower.
得了吧可能他刚从健身房♥回来
Oh, please. He's probably just coming from the gym.
是吗或者他是要洗掉
Mm-hmm. Was he? Or is he washing off
表妹秘书身上她的香水味
the telltale scent of secretarial-cousin perfume?
你俩真是悲哀的八婆
You are two sad, old biddies.
不我们只是在找乐子
No, we're just having fun.
也碍不到谁
It's perfectly harmless.
在上帝拉下送你去地狱的控制杆之前
That'll be an interesting defense to make
你就这么跟他解释好了
just before God pulls the lever that sends you both to hell.
对有个控制杆的
That's right, there's a lever.
费里斯对这俩邻居太痴迷了
Felix is obsessed with those neighbors.
昨天夜里在床上他叫我琳达
Last night, in bed, he called me Linda.
还叫我弗兰克
And Frank.
你不是总说你没时间
Well, you're always saying you don't have time
经营你的珠宝生意吗
for your jewelry business.
现在费里斯忙着你的机会来了
With Felix busy, now's your chance.
那倒是
That's true.
我连销♥售♥目标的四分之一都没达到呢
I haven't met my sales goal for the quarter.
你的目标是什么
What's your goal?
卖♥♥出东西
To sell something.
我还是放弃吧在这干全职
I should just give up and work here full-time.
我可以当一个职业服务员
I can be one of those career waitresses,
朝每个人都叫"亲"
who calls everybody "Honey"
用昨夜的馅饼填补空虚
and fills the emptiness with day-old pie.
不是说你莫林
No offense, Maureen.
不介意的亲
None taken, honey.
至少你不是奥斯卡的助手
Hey, at least you're not Oscar's assistant.
昨天晚上我用我的大学文凭资历
Last night, I used my college degree
去帮他找那个
to find him pretzels that were,
"你知道就是我们那次看那什么的时候"
and I quote, "You know, the same ones
"吃的那个东西"的椒盐脆饼
we had that one time we were watching that thing."
不错了我还是他的经纪人呢
Please. I'm his agent.
我花了三个月时间
And I spent three months trying to get him.
帮他搞到丹妮卡·帕特里克的邮箱
Danica Patrick's personal e-mail.
再花一个月装成丹妮卡·帕特里克
And then another month pretending to be Danica Patrick.
对他们计划一起去圣巴茨了
Yeah, they're making plans to go to St. Barts.
这种场面我怎么收回来啊
How the hell am I gonna pull that off?
我们都是一成不变的
We're all just in a rut.
应该做点什么搞出点动静来
We should do something to shake it up.
我在《乡村之声》上看到个竞赛[种族]
Ooh, how about this race thing I read about in The Village Voice?
天啊我们就不能有一天
Oh, Lord, can we go a day
不谈种族这事吗
without having a discussion about race?
是跑步竞赛跑到帝国大厦楼顶
It's a running race to the top of the Empire State Building.
这个我也不想去
I don't want to do that, either.
听起来挺有意思的
That sounds like fun.
我们可以在我家楼梯上练习
We can train on the stairs in my building.