天生冤家（2015）

The Odd Couple S02E10

Part 1 March 5, 2021, 12:50 p.m.

所以没戏了
So that's it?
我知道你对这行不熟悉
I know you're new to the business.
但你会明白的这种事时有发生
But you'll learn this kind of thing happens all the time.
我懂了
Ah. I understand.
所以我们怎么来
So, um, how does this work?
你给我张800美元支票
You gonna cut me a check for $800,
还是我把发♥票♥寄给你
or do I send you an invoice?
你说什么呢
Uh, what are you talking about?
这是他们提供的条件然而你把合约搞吹了
That's what they were offering before you blew this deal.
你要没有现金也可以转账
Now, if you don't have cash, I can do PayPal.
丹妮我不会付你钱的
Dani, I'm not paying you.
那你最好拿起电♥话♥ 把合约谈妥
Then you better pick up the phone and get me that job.
全城的经纪人都抢着要我呢
Because every agent in town wants to represent me.
-真的吗 -其实没有
- Really? - No, they don't.
大家好
Hey, guys.
见到费里斯了吗他发消息让我来
Have you seen Felix? He just texted me to come by.
没有昨晚之后就没见过他了
No, I haven't seen him since last night.
早啊你们好吗
Morning. What's up?
费里斯你在干什么
Felix, what are you doing?
怎么了你说过想让我
What? You said you wanted me
更像奥斯卡一点
to be more like Oscar.
真搞笑
Hilarious!
遥控器呢有体育看吗
Where's the remote control? Is sports on?
简直和我一模一样
It's like I'm in the room.
谁来打扫一下
Who's gonna clean that up?
不是我
Not me!
费里斯
Felix.
费里斯别闹了
Felix, stop.
泰迪我们去看看那些
Hey, Teddy. Why don't we go and watch some women
脱衣舞♥女♥吧
strip off their clothing?
你在说什么呢冒牌奥斯卡
What are you talking about, fake Oscar?
丹妮给我做个三明治
Dani, make me a sandwich.
慢着不用了这有个
Oh, wait, never mind, here's one.
费里斯
Felix,
别点那个我们懂了你的意见我们清楚了
don't light that. We get it. You've made your point.
没发表意见我只是满足你的需求
Who's making a point? I'm just giving you what you want.
小心点伙计这烟不能过肺
Be careful there, buddy, you're not supposed to inhale.
别这么扫兴伙计
Don't be such a buzzkill, man.
这个还真是...
That-that is actually...
这个...
That...
你没事吧
Are you okay?
我需要看医生
I need to see a doctor.
我灵活的手腕貌似摔坏了
I think I broke my whisking wrist.
这可不像我说的话
Well, that doesn't sound like me at all.
为什么会是手腕呢
Why did it have to be his wrist?
他需要用手腕来写书法
He needs that to do his calligraphy,
演奏大提琴还有...
to play his cello, to...
"其他"事情
do other stuff.
恶
Ew.
听着我知道你惭愧
Listen, I know you feel bad,
但不要太自责了
but don't beat yourself up about it.
他是模仿你才弄伤自己的
Well, he hurt himself acting like you.
但是你让他那样的
Which you told him to do.
前提是你没守住秘密
Only after you blew our secret.
我真不该让你拉着我回去
I should have never let you drag me back to that place.
拉着你你当时多积极啊
Drag you? You were pretty up for it.
而且是你让我吃鸡腿
And it was your idea to have me eat a drumstick
以领会鸡的思维
to get in that chicken's head.
是啊本该有用的
Yeah. Which would've worked
但你玩井字棋实在太烂了
if you didn't suck so much at tic-tac-toe.
那只鸡一天玩上百盘
That chicken plays 100 times a day.
他是专业的
He's a professional!
医生看了昂格先生的X光片
The doctor looked at Mr. Unger's X-rays.
事实证明只是扭伤
It turns out it was just a sprain.
谢天谢地
Oh, thank God.
很好什么时候能接他回家
Great. When can we take him home?
拜托了现在就接走吧
Oh, please, take him now.
他在里面给一位病人"提供医嘱"呢
He's back there giving another patient a second opinion.
好吧这下放心了
Well, that's a relief.
是啊
Yeah.
抱歉我怪罪了你
I'm sorry I blamed you.
我只是担心费里斯
I was just worried about Felix.
我也一样
Me, too.
我很庆幸他找到了你
Listen, I'm glad he found you.
很高兴有人和我一起分享
It's nice to have somebody to share
这个蠢萌的小变♥态♥
that goofy little weirdo with.
对我们是唯二两个
Yeah. We're the only two people
明白那种状况的人
who understand what that's like.
押五块钱他认为这地方会染上埃博拉病毒
Five bucks he thinks this place gave him Ebola.
我押食肉真菌
My money's on flesh-eating bacteria.
不错
You're on.
好的
All right.
试试这个方法如果两周不见好
So try that. And if it doesn't clear up in two weeks,
打电♥话♥给我
give me a call.
手腕怎么样了
Hey. How's your wrist?
一周不能动了
Can't move it for a week.
医生不希望我快速活动
Doctor doesn't want me to whisk it.
神奇的骨头完好无损
Funny bone still intact.
我们快走吧
Let's get out of here.
慢着等一下
Wait, just a sec. Um...
我在里面时想了很久
I had a lot of time to think back there,
我意识到自己为什么
and I realized why I was so keen
那么迫切让你们相处了
to force the two of you together.
因为我前妻一直不喜欢奥斯卡
It's because my ex-wife never liked Oscar.
我们见面就越来越少了
And so I saw him less and less.
我担心要是你不喜欢他
And I was worried that if you didn't like him,
我又要被迫做出选择
I would be forced to choose again.
我做不到
And... I can't do that.
你完全不用那么做伙计
Oh, you don't have to do that, buddy.
绝不会变成那样的
That's never gonna happen.
很好趁我没染上埃博拉病毒快走吧
Great. Now let's get out of here before I catch Ebola, huh?
我看到了
I saw that!
丹妮
Hey, Dani.
我不要和你说话
I am not talking to you.
我明白你不需要和我说话
I understand. You don't need to talk to me.
你只需签一份新合同
You just need to sign your new contract.
什么
What?
是的吉米反悔了给我回电♥话♥
Yeah, Jimmy blinked. He called me back
答应了我们的全部要求
and gave us everything we asked for.
感谢你泰迪我从未怀疑过你
Aw, thank you, Teddy. I never doubted you.
现在恕我失陪我要去删除一些
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go take down
关于你妈妈的调皮推文
some playful tweets about your mama.
所以真♥相♥是什么
So what really happened?
我又打给了吉米做了一些让步
I called Jimmy back, groveled a little bit,
当这些不起作用时
and when that didn't work,
我满足了他提出的要求
I gave him something he wanted.
所以恭喜你奥斯卡
So congrats, Oscar.
你是"长岛移♥动♥厕所"的新代言人了
You're the new spokesman for Long Island Portable Toilets.
好吧为了丹妮可以
Okay. For Dani, sure.
多谢了
Aw, thanks.
你穿那套行头一定很好看
You're gonna look great in that costume.
等等你说什么
Wait, what?
没人喜欢
Nobody likes to feel...
被无视
...ignored.
-我走了 -等下你不能走
- Well, I'm off. - Wait, you can't go.
我可以待一分钟
I suppose I could stay for a minute.
灯还没绿呢你作弊
The light hasn't turned green yet, you cheater.
好吧 "再见费里斯我们会想你的
Well, "Goodbye, Felix. We'll miss you.
谢谢你让我们成为朋友大笨蛋
Thanks for making us friends, you chump."
胜利
Victory!