天生冤家（2015）

The Odd Couple S02E06

Part 2 March 5, 2021, 12:49 p.m.

我确实在乎她
Yeah, I really do.
所以你不如干些不一样的事
So why don't you do something different
把身体上的接触往后缓缓
and hold off on the physical
直到你有机会
until you've had a chance
跟她建立起真正的情感联接
to establish a real emotional connection with her.
看看艾米丽和我
Look at Emily and me.
这确实会让我没性趣
Yeah, that'll put me off sex.
我们身体交合之前做了一整年朋友
We were friends for an entire year before we consummated.
现在我们的关系简直就是完美
And now our relationship is a model of perfection.
你在给她的狗做饭
You are cooking for her dog.
得了吧我只不过是随便煮点东西
Please. I'm just throwing a little something together.
我的焦糖喷火枪呢
Now, where is my caramelizing torch?
丹妮
Hi, Dani.
夏洛特最近如何
Hey, Charlotte. How's it going?
挺好怎么
Good. Why?
你听说什么了吗
What have you heard?
奥斯卡是不是说什么了
Has Oscar said something?
没有你在说什么
No. What are you talking about?
我大概不该跟你聊
Well, I probably shouldn't be talking to you
关于我跟你老板的
about my, you know,
肉体关系
physical relationship with your boss.
那是对的
And you'd be right.
勾选一下"你是对的"
Check the box next to "Right you are."
可还有谁比你了解他
But who knows him better than you do?
很多人啊他爹妈他大学同学
A lot of people. His parents. His college friends.
帮他下赌注的那个
His bookie.
就是吧...
It's just...
我离婚后就没跟别人在一起过
I haven't been with a man since my divorce.
你也可以打电♥话♥给你的女性朋友或者买♥♥瓶酒
Or you could call a girlfriend and grab a Chardonnay.
我知道奥斯卡已经准备好要上♥床♥
And I know that Oscar is ready for sex.
但我还不确定
I'm just not sure I am.
我见过他约会的那些女人
I've seen the kind of women he dates,
25岁的肌肤还有那些
with their 25-year-old skin and their perky...
青春活力
everythings.
夏洛特我不愿看见一个好女人妄自菲薄
Oh, Charlotte, I hate to see a good woman down on herself.
听我说你很美
Listen, you are gorgeous.
奥斯卡铁定也这样想
And Oscar definitely thinks so, too.
-真的吗 -绝对的
- Really? - Absolutely.
他总说些关于你的下流话
He says inappropriate things about you all the time.
真是太暖心了
That's so sweet.
也是我可能是想太多了好
You know, maybe I have been overthinking this. Okay.
-就是今晚了谢谢你丹妮 -好啊
- Tonight's the night. Thanks, Dani. - Oh. Okay.
不用谢的
Yeah, yeah. You're welcome.
放心大胆地去搞定你的男人吧
Now, you just go on out there and you get your man.
以及再也再也不要聊这种事了
And let's never, ever talk like this again.
是一个扮成消防员的小孩救的我
by a kid dressed as a fireman.
艾米丽知道吗
Does Emily know this?
不知道我哪好意思告诉她
No. No, and I'm too embarrassed to tell her.
她说她前任是她见过的最勇敢的人
She called her ex the bravest man she's ever known.
可我却在怕一个会叫的拖把
And here I am, scared of a barking mop.
讽刺的是我明明那么喜欢拖把
Which is ironic, given how much I love mops.
费里斯你不能一直活在对狗的恐惧中啊
Felix, you can't live in fear of dogs.
你得想办法宣示你的主♥权♥
You got to find a way to assert your dominance.
小饼干会演《琐碎追求》的百老汇版本吗
Does Biscuit play the Broadway edition of Trivial Pursuit?
我肯定能虐暴它
'Cause I will crush him.
我孩子有条狗
Look, my kids have a dog.
那条蠢狗刚刚生了一堆娃
And the stupid thing just had puppies.
所以我们报了个班学了一大堆
So we took a class and learned a bunch of ways
让狗狗知道你才是主人的办法你试着...
to show a dog that you're the boss. So try...
把手放在它头上
putting your hand on his head.
才不要
No, sir.
它的牙可就长在脑袋上
His head is where he keeps his teeth.
那就直视它的眼睛不许转移视线
Then try making eye contact with him, without looking away.
这有用吗
That actually works?
嗨泰迪
Hey, Teddy.
嗨
Hey, buddy.
看好
Watch this. Hey, uh,
你星期天必须公开露面
I need you to do that public appearance on Sunday.
我在电♥话♥里都跟你说了我讨厌那些破事
Oh, I told you on the phone, I hate doing those things.
奥斯卡你要是去的话会帮我很大忙的
Oscar, it would really help me out if you did this for me.
可是泰迪...
But Teddy...
反正我星期天有空何乐不为呢
Eh, I'm free Sunday. Why not?
好了我去和夏洛特吃晚饭了
All right, I'm gonna go have dinner with Charlotte.
只吃晚饭记住了吗
And only dinner, right?
记住了
Right.
一旦你有所动摇
And if you start to waver,
就好好想想我们说过的话
remember what we talked about.
这我也说不准啊
Yeah, I don't know.
要让一段感情成功
To make it great,
你就必须耐得住饥渴
you have to wait.
好嘛我不会心急的
Okay, I'm gonna wait.
对不起了老弟我尽力了
Sorry, pal, I tried.
别想着啪啪啪的事
Don't think about sex.
别想着啪啪啪的事
Don't think about sex.
别想着啪啪啪的事
Don't think about sex.
你在想什么
So, what do you think?
啪啪啪
Sex.
外面很冷
It's really cold out.
你得套件大毛衣才行啊
You should throw a long, baggy sweater over that.
要暖身的方法可多了去了
There are other ways to warm up.
我取消了晚餐定位
I cancelled our dinner reservation.
觉得我们今晚可以就呆在家里
I thought we could stay home instead.
好啊
Oh, great.
那你想玩什么连字游戏
What'd you have in mind? Boggle?
印度双骰游戏
Parcheesi?
四子棋
Connect Four?
就两个人搂搂抱抱怎么样
How about connect two?
你是说咱俩吗
Are we the two?
别说话了
Stop talking.
可是谈话不才是让我们增进了解的秘诀吗
But isn't talking the way we learn about each other?
我们的梦想期望想要什么
Our hopes and dreams and what we want?
我知道我想要什么
I know what I want.
你是想喝咖啡吗我这就去煮
Is it a pot of coffee? 'Cause I'll put one on.
我做不到
I can't do it.
它盯着我的眼神就像我是只扮成邮递员的猫
He's staring at me like I'm a cat in a mailman suit.
好吧那就试试别的办法吧
Well, there's a couple of other things we could try.
算了吧我放弃
No, no, forget it. I give up.
这条傻狗永远都不会喜欢我的
This stupid mutt is never going to like me.
听好小饼干
Well, guess what, Biscuit?
我也一样不喜欢你
I don't like you either.
你才不是好狗狗
You are not a good boy.
你是个混♥蛋♥ 是个恶霸
You are a jerk and a bully,
我希望你从未出生
and I wish that you had never been born.
费里斯
Felix.
嗨你怎么回来这么早
Oh, hi. Uh, you're home early.
我爷爷告诉过我从一个人对待狗的态度上
You know, my grandpa used to say you can learn a lot
就能看出一个人的本性
about a person by the way he treats a dog.
奇怪的是他从来没有养过狗
Which was weird, because he never had a dog,
倒是有只鹦鹉他对狗过敏
he had a parakeet. He was allergic to dogs.
还有麦子和巴氏梨
Well, and wheat, and Bartlett pears.
只有这一种梨过敏真是奇怪
Only Bartlett. What an odd guy.
我要说的是
My point is...
我今天可算看清你了费里斯·昂格
I learned a lot about you today, Felix Unger.
我爷爷曾经说过从一个人都头型
My grandpa used to say you can learn a lot about a person
就能看出这个人的本性
from the shape of their head.
你还过得去
You're good.
对了我刚想到一个好主意
Hey, you know what might be a good idea?
不如我们去散散步吧
A nice, brisk walk.
如果你是想锻炼一下的话...
If it's exercise you're after...
不用了我很好
No thanks, I'm good.