天生冤家（2015）

The Odd Couple S02E12

Part 1 March 5, 2021, 12:51 p.m.

对我知道可比尔格一家可不这么想
Yes, I know that, but try telling that to the Bilgors.
我们丢掉了比尔格一家
We lost the Bilgors?
我在解释垃圾间新想法的时候
I may have corrected Ted on his grammar
好像是给泰德纠正了一下语法
while explaining my trash-chute initiative.
不会吧费里斯
Oh no, Felix.
放和躺
"Lay" And "Lie."
-要分清楚 -要分清楚
- Know the difference. - Know the difference!
简直不敢相信这些人
I can't believe that people can't see
看不出奥斯卡会是多糟糕的一个主席
what a terrible president Oscar would be.
我发誓如果他赢了我就搬去加拿大楼
I swear, if he wins, I am moving uptown to The Canada House.
那如果你觉得他会很糟
Well, if you think he would be that bad,
为什么不在竞选信息里传达
why don't you make that part of your message?
你是说要负面一点
Oh, you mean go negative.
对
Mm-hmm. Yes.
说不定能找到他的黑料
Could probably find some dirt on him.
他全身都是黑料
He's literally covered in it.
不不不行尽管我们有分歧
But n-n-no, no, despite our differences,
可奥斯卡是我朋友
Oscar is my best friend.
我是想赢但不想这样赢
I want to win, but not that way.
你是一个好人费里斯·昂格
You are a good man, Felix Unger.
而且你会是一位非常好的主席
And you're gonna make an amazing president.
而且你会是一位非常优秀的第♥一♥夫♥人♥
And you are going to make a great First Lady.
只等我们定下更合适的竞选发型
Once we lock down a more appropriate campaign hairstyle.
你不喜欢我的发型
You don't like my hair?
不不不不不不
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
不喜欢
I do not.
我觉得这栋楼现状挺好的
I think the building's fine the way it is,
但我的对手非要来打扰你想要改这改那
but my opponent wants to get in your face and change everything.
那个小个子
That little guy?
他已经来过三次了
He's been here three times.
总是给我点东西让我读
He always gives me something to read.
我讨厌阅读
I hate reading.
我懂的你回家以后不想再思考
I get it. You don't want problems when you come home.
家里已经有老婆在吼你
You already got your wife yelling at you.
她总挑我刺
She's always on me.
-还有孩子们 -我有好多孩子
- And the kids. - I got so many kids.
你只想一个人待着
You just want to be left alone.
投我一票就是投给安静与祥和
A vote for me is a vote for peace and quiet.
选举日那天要记得奥字投给奥斯卡
Remember on election day, "O" For Oscar.
我会投给你的
You got my vote.
甜甜圈派光了
Running out of doughnuts.
你还要去敲多少门
How many more doors you want to knock on?
再敲几个门莫夫也一直在忙
Just a couple more. Plus I got Murph out there
帮我给邻居说好话
talking me up to the neighbors.
普通人都喜欢明星
The common man loves a celebrity.
奥斯卡你见了什么鬼
Oscar, what's come over you?
为什么会这么关心主席选举
Why do you care so much about this president thing?
因为费里斯会让所有人活在水深火热中
Because Felix would make everyone's life a living hell.
而且还因为
And because...
我也不知道他说我做不到
I don't know, he said I couldn't do it.
情感的洪水开闸了
Ooh, we just struck emotional oil.
让它倾泻吧帅哥
Let it flow, big guy.
他总冲我翻白眼
He's always rolling his eyes at me,
说我什么都搞不懂还说我没有生活能力
saying I don't get things, that I'm an incompetent boob,
说我不能用领带当腰带
that I can't use my tie as a belt.
但他话里是带着爱的
But he says it with love.
我是已经受够了我要让他悔不当初
Well, I'm sick of it, and I'm gonna make him eat his words.
大家好啊
Oh, hey guys.
莫夫你在这做什么
Murph, what are you doing here?
你要回来床上吗
Hey, you coming back to bed?
你说呢
You bet.
我之前跟你说的就是这个人
This is the guy I was telling you about.
他特别有说服力
Oh, um, he was very persuasive.
我送给她一个奥字代表奥斯卡
Yeah, I gave her an "O" For Oscar.
我当时说业主证
And that is why I say, "I.D. Cards,
安全保证
an I-dea whose time has come."
总而言之
In conclusion...
候选人中没有哪一个人
...there is no candidate who more deserves a place
比我更值得挂在光荣的主席墙上
on our esteemed Wall of Presidents than me,
因为只有我有这个勇气和远见
because only I have the courage and the vision
带领皇家纹章进入22世纪
to lead the Royal Arms into the 22nd century.
等到投票之时请用这个简单的记忆方法
So when it comes time to vote, please remember my platform
记住我的平台
with this simple mnemonic device:
我们社区
Together Our Community Can't Help But Go
狂爱费里斯主席哦耶
Insane And Bananas For President Felix Hooray.
谢谢大家
Thank you.
谢谢你费里斯
Thank you, Felix.
年长一些的居民可能想要站起来
Okay, our older residents might want to stand
在刚刚非常详尽的报告中可能形成了一些血栓
to eliminate any blood clots that might have formed
需要排除一下
during that very thorough presentation.
接下来是另一个男性室友我就不说什么了
Up next is the other male roommate, no judgment,
奥斯卡·麦迪逊
Oscar Madison.
谢谢你们谢谢
Thank you, thank you.
如果你们选我我不会烦你们的
If you elect me, I will leave you alone.
你们也可以用我的记忆法记住刚刚这句话
And you can remember that by my mnemonic device:
我不会烦你们的
I Will Leave You Alone.
这人懂的
This guy gets it.
我感觉我要失去他们了
I feel like I'm losing them.
你能怎么的
Well, what can you do?
你能说的话已经说尽了
You've already said everything that you can say.
也许还有
Maybe not everything.
抱歉
Um, excuse me.
邻居们各位租户
Uh, neighbors, fellow tenants,
我必须再说一件事不然就是我的疏忽
I would be remiss if I did not say one more thing.
奥斯卡是我的好朋友
Oscar is my best friend,
也是我的室友
as well as my roommate,
作为他的室友
and as his roommate,
我比任何人都要了解他
no one knows him better than I do.
所以我是真心实意地说出这句话
Which is why I mean it when I say...
你们不会想要这个人来做主席
you do not want this man as your president.
什么玩意
What's this, now?
他财务上非常不负责
He is fiscally irresponsible,
他的退休金储备
his retirement plan is selling off
是计划卖♥♥出没开封的蝙蝠侠卡片
unopened Batman trading cards,
他抽雪茄
he befouls
污染空气
the air with his cigar smoke,
最可恨的
and most damningly,
当时是奥斯卡
it was Oscar
吐在了大厅的榕树上
who vomited in the lobby ficus.
奥斯卡关于这些指控你想回应一下吗
Oscar, would you like to address these allegations?
谢谢你费里斯我觉得是这样
Thank you, Felix. Okay, here's the deal.
费里斯说的每一件事都是真的
Every single thing Felix said is true.
我确实是
So I'm bad
不擅长理财可这间屋子里
with money, but who here in this room
谁又不是晚付几天账单呢
hasn't been late paying a bill?
我也不是唯一一个喜欢在阳台上抽两口的
And I'm not the only who enjoys a relaxing smoke on the balcony.
对不对布劳斯坦先生
Right, Mr. Blaustein?
别告诉布劳斯坦太太就行
Just don't tell Mrs. Blaustein.
我承认是我吐在了榕树里
And I'll admit it, I'm the ficus barfer.
我是喝多吐了谁又没有过呢
I drank too much and got sick. But who here hasn't?
紧要关头我必须抉择
At the critical moment I had a choice,
地上还是榕树里我选择了榕树
floor or ficus, and I went ficus.
而且我还会这样做的
And you know what? I'd do it again!
你们说呢谁会投我一票
So what do you say? Who's gonna vote for me?
奥斯卡奥斯卡奥斯卡...
Oscar, Oscar, Oscar...
奥斯卡奥斯卡奥斯卡
Oscar! Oscar! Oscar!
不不不
No! No! No!
不那不是...
No, that was not...
我不是为了欢呼是在批评
that was not a chant, that was a chide!
我是在批评
It was a chide!