天生冤家（2015）

The Odd Couple S02E03

Part 1 March 5, 2021, 12:49 p.m.

好萌
Cute!
好再来张噘嘴的
Okay, now let's do a pouty face.
我滴天惹
Oh, my God!
连噘成鸭嘴的我们都配一脸
Even duck-lipped, we are one cute couple.
这张妥妥滴要发Ins
This one is so going on Instagram.
需要我给你们两位拍照吗
Would you like me to take a photo of you two?
鄙人是专业摄影师
I am a professional photographer.
还没灭绝呢
That's still a thing?
既然每个人都有相机谁还需要摄影师
If everyone's got a camera, why would you need that?
好问题
Good question.
过会提醒我去定个棺材
Remind me to order my coffin later.
费里斯
Oh, Felix.
这些老男人和我们嫩妹子啊
These guys and their younger women.
是不是
Am I right?
你们怎么认识的
So how'd you guys meet?
艾莉森给这楼里的人家当保姆
Allyson's a nanny in the building,
所以我们总在电梯里偶遇
and we kept running into each other in the elevator.
所以那天我就说
So one day I said,
你跟小孩相处得那么好
"You're great with kids,
我就是个小孩跟我处吧
I am a kid, let's do this thing!"
我怎么抗拒得了呢
How could I resist?
你有试过用辣椒喷雾吗
Did you try pepper spray?
那我就喝点红酒吧
You know what? I will have some wine.
先给我看看身份证吧
Can I see some I.D.?
我还是开玩笑的
Again, I kid.
我们的照片在Ins上已经收到31个赞了
Our photo on Instagram already has 31 likes.
太棒了
Oh, that's great!
挣钱吗
Do we get money for that?
我也有Ins账号♥
I'm on Instagram.
艾米丽下划线是下划线超级下划线酷
"Emily underscore Is underscore Super underscore Cool"
就是我的账户名
is my screen name.
随便吧
Whatevs.
本宝宝去方便下
I need to use the little girls' room.
她自己说的不是我
She said it, not me.
你爱怎么笑话年轻人就怎么笑吧
Make all the young jokes you want,
艾莉森让我开心
Allyson makes me happy.
我知道这点让你烦心这就让我更高兴了
Which I know annoys you, which just makes me happier,
所以你就烦心+1 我知道没这个词儿
which makes you annoyeder, which I know isn't a word.
她是有点小奥斯卡而且
She is a little young, Oscar, and...
她粉我了
Sh-She followed me.
艾莉森刚刚粉我了
Allyson just followed me.
我也要粉回去
I'm going to follow her back.
我粉了已粉
I'm doing it... I did it.
我们互粉了
We're followers.
我必须提醒一下你最近才刚开始渴望成熟成长
Must I remind you of your recently stated desire to mature and to grow?
我有只是慢慢来
I am. I'm taking it slow.
跟艾莉森约会很简单
Dating Allyson is easy.
我现在就只想要简单
And that's all I'm looking for right now.
坏消息
Bad news.
夏洛特刚刚被叫去工作了
Charlotte just got called into a work thing
她前任出城了
and her ex is out of town,
所以我必须上楼看孩子
so I have to go up and watch the kid.
真的吗她老板可坏了
Oh, really? Her boss is the worst.
显摆的女博士
Miss Fancy Pants PhD
觉得自己是全屋最聪明的
thinks she's the smartest person in the room.
她这么想的时候
When she thinks this,
是不是屋里只有你
are you the only other person in the room?
我得赶紧上楼去了
I better get up there.
我护送你
I'll escort you.
这楼里晚上挺危险的
This building can be pretty dangerous at night.
没错
That's right.
我听说有个肮脏的老男人总搭电梯
I heard there's a dirty old man riding in the elevator.
我不知道今天是带爸爸来工作日
I didn't know it was Bring Your Father to Work Day.
夏洛特
Charlotte.
奥斯卡
Oscar.
进来我给你准备了礼物
Come in! I have a present for you.
不我真的应该走
Oh, no, I really should go
而不是进去
and not, you know, be in there.
别掉链子
Don't be lame.
快进来
Get in here.
奥斯卡
So, Oscar,
需要我给你拿杯喝的吗
can I offer you a drink?
我这20年佳酿的苏格兰威士忌
I have some great 20-year-old scotch.
可能对你来说太老了
Or is that too old for you?
我懂了因为她比我年轻
I get it, because she's younger than me.
有的化石都比你老了
Oh, there are rocks younger than you.
艾莉森也许年龄年轻
Allyson may be young in age,
但是她有成熟的灵魂
but she's an old soul and...
不是吧
Oh, no.
我在小熊工厂给你做的
I made him for you at Build-A-Bear!
你看你们都喜欢棒球
See? You both like baseball,
还都是毛绒绒的软绵绵的
and you're both so fuzzy-wuzzy.
好萌哦
So cute!
我给你们拍个合影
Let me get a shot of you guys.
我去看看埃文
I'm gonna check on Evan.
再见宝贝
Bye, baby.
好的你显然对我跟艾莉森约会有意见
Okay, clearly you have an attitude about me dating Allyson.
可你知道吗
But you know what?
对我来说年龄只是数字而已
To me, age is just a number.
是的如果你的数字减去艾莉森的数字
Yes, and if you subtract allyson's number from your number,
结果还是比艾莉森老
you still have a number older than her.
好的我用我的年龄减去她的年龄
Okay, I just subtracted her age from my age,
其实她是我的年龄的一半加上
and actually, she's half my age plus...
不对等等你说得对
Oh, no, wait, you're right.
幼稚加上数学不好
Immature and bad at math.
要不是有艾莉森
Wow, if it's not Allyson,
你绝对能把出生在九五后的姑娘
you are certainly going to make some girl
哄得特别开心
born in the mid '90s very happy.
对算你...
Yeah, well, you...
靠
Damn it!
然后她说我绝对能把出生在九五的姑娘
And then she said I was going to make some girl
哄得特别开心
born in the mid '90s very happy.
不许笑一点都不好笑
No, no. Not funny.
好的
Okay.
所以等下次我见到她
So next time I see her,
绝对会给她一次致命打击
I have to hit her with an amazing zinger.
行给我点料加工一下
All right, uh, give me something to work with.
她是金发吗
Is she blonde?
是波兰人吗
Is she Polish?
她去过楠塔基特岛吗
She ever been to Nantucket?
没有泰迪
No, Teddy.
她胖吗她妈胖吗
Well, is she fat? Is her mama fat?
加把劲啊她肯定有什么缺陷吧
Come on now, she's got to have some flaw.
她超级自以为是
Well, she's incredibly smug,
是因为她知道自己有多聪明美丽加性感
because she knows how smart, pretty and sexy she is.
不许起哄
No, no. No "Whoo""
我得跟你说奥斯卡你提起夏洛特的次数
I have to say, Oscar, you talk about this Charlotte
远超过你提起艾莉森的次数
far more than you talk about Allyson,
她是你正在约会的那个女人
the woman you're actually dating.
你想说什么
What's your point?
我是想说
My point is...
你喜欢夏洛特
you like Charlotte.
我同意费里斯
I'm with Felix.
我们嘲笑你约会对象年纪太小的时候
When we make fun of you for dating someone too young for you,
你根本不在乎
you don't even care.
可夏洛特这样做的时候你就很生气
But when Charlotte does it, you get so grouchy.
你就是芝麻街里那个暴脾气的奥斯卡
Oh, Oscar the Grouch.
我刚刚才发现
I just put that together.
我特别期待今天的晚餐费里斯
I'm psyched for our dinner tonight, Felix.
主要是因为这样我就能当顾客
Mostly so I can be the one to complain