天生冤家（2015）

The Odd Couple S02E03

Part 2 March 5, 2021, 12:49 p.m.

投诉服务员把手指伸进我的杯子里
about someone's fingers in my water.
讨厌
Oh, damn.
计划有变
Actually, there has been a fantastic change of plans.
我搞到了今晚
I was able to score us tickets
莫斯科提线木偶剧团的票
to the Moscow Marionettes tonight!
对不对
I know, right?
而且我为了这事牵了很多线
And yes, I had to pull a lot of... strings to make it happen.
开玩笑的
That was a joke.
我知道
No, no, I know.
我本来想着今晚能放松一下
I guess I was just hoping to relax tonight.
管他呢我们去吧
But what the heck? I'm in!
你没必要
You don't have to...
勉强牵着我走
string me along!
提线木偶笑话这会传染有没有
Marionette humor! It's contagious, isn't it?
提线木偶演出
Marionette show?
你知道我通常给大家带来阳光
Look, you know I am a ray of sunshine,
但这次我要给你们泼点冷水了
but I'm gonna rain on this parade.
我觉得会很好玩的
I think it'll be fun.
我真觉得
I do.
我其实很喜欢那些
I actually really like stuff
你觉得只有小孩子会喜欢的东西
that you think only kids would like
甚至有时候连小孩子都不喜欢
and sometimes maybe not even kids.
我再给你说一遍
Oh, for the last time,
这些不是木偶是提线木偶
they're not puppets; they're marionettes.
我说的话你好像从来就没听进去
It's like you haven't listened to a word that I've said.
不是像那样根本就是那样
It's not like that; it is that.
奥斯卡
Oscar.
夏洛特
Charlotte.
你好
Hello.
我是费里斯奥斯卡的同居室友
I am Felix, Oscar's apartment-mate.
我听说了很多关于你的事
I have heard so much about you.
他并没有听过
No, he hasn't.
至少不是从我这里听到的
Not from me.
除了坏话
Unless it's bad stuff.
说起来
Speaking of which,
还记得你说我会让一个九五后女孩
remember when you said I was going to make a girl
非常幸福吗
born in the mid '90s very happy?
我不该那样说
I shouldn't have said that.
我觉得你不能让任何女人幸福
I don't see you making any woman very happy.
看来你跟我前妻聊过了
I see you've been talking to my ex-wife.
没有错我朝自己打枪了
That's right, I zinged myself.
先发制人的一枪
Oh, the preemptive zinger.
谁是输家
Yeah. Who's the loser now?
是我我又干了同样的蠢事
It's me. I've done it again.
你这一次就算赢了
You may have won this one,
下一次我也会整到你
but I'll get you next time.
你这样想真是又可爱又可怜
Aw, it's cute and sad that you think that.
你为什么要跟这个艾莉森浪费时间
Okay, why are you wasting your time with this Allyson girl?
你在说什么呢
What are you talking about, man?
夏洛特完全适合你
Charlotte is perfect for you.
长得美又聪明又有趣
She's beautiful, intelligent, funny
而且我再说一次年龄上很合适
and, might I add, once again, age appropriate.
可我们在一起的时候都是在羞辱我
But all we do is insult me.
这都是情趣
That's just snappy banter.
就算你们吵嘴中间也有火花
Even when you're bickering, you have chemistry.
就好像《无事生非》
Like Beatrice and Benedick.
《危险关系》
Valmont and Merteuil.
《星球大战》
Han Solo and Princess Leia.
好吧
Oh, okay.
我承认心里会有点小激动每当我看到她
Yeah, I admit there may be a little stirring when I see her
在我的...
in my...
不在我的家里
nether places.
但这不重要
But it doesn't matter.
我跟艾莉森在一起呢我们关系挺好的
I'm with Allyson, and that's going great.
奥斯卡奥斯卡奥斯卡
Oscar, Oscar, Oscar...
费里斯费里斯请闭嘴
Felix, Felix, shut up.
艾莉森人是不错可夏洛特才是你需要的人
Allyson is nice, but Charlotte is exactly the kind of woman you need in your life.
一个强力的能跟你对刚的女人
A strong woman who can stand up to you.
我跟这种人结过婚
I was already married to one of those.
没有错这就是你的类型
Exactly. That's your type.
真正强势的女人
A real substantial woman.
艾莉森和我也是有情绪
Allyson and I do have snappy banter.
你看着
Watch this.
她来了
There she is!
怎样
Wassup.
什么情况小小鸟
What's the word, pretty bird?
什么
What?
如何啊小培根
What's shakin', bacon?
你为什么要这样说话超奇怪
Why are you talking all, like, weird?
就是这样
Oh, here we go.
我喜欢我们这样子互动
I love this back-and-forth between us.
我的天你和熊的那张照片收到了200赞
Oh, my God, that photo of you and Bear has 200 likes!
201赞
Two hundred and one!
大家好啊奥斯卡
Hey, guys. Hey, Oscar. Hey, Oscar.
你们介意让我坐这个桌子吗
Would you mind letting me have this table, please?
好吧行
Oh, boy. Oh, here we go.
怎么回事
What's going on?
奥斯卡要跟保姆分手了
Oscar's breaking up with the nanny,
所以他需要他的甩人桌
so he needs his dumping table.
这叫分手角
It's called "Breakup Corner."
我们要带着尊严来做这件事
Let's treat this with some dignity.
你为什么需要这张桌子
Why do you need this table?
这张桌子离门最近
It's the closest one to the door,
奥斯卡好逃命
so Oscar can get his ass out of here.
水刀叉蜡烛
Water, utensils, candle.
这些东西完全可以用来泼我戳我或者烧我
That is everything i can be soaked, stabbed or set on fire with.
还少了什么
What am I missing?
餐巾我需要很多餐巾
Oh, napkins, I need extra napkins,
万一她哭了或者万一我要装哭
in case she cries, or in case I need to pretend to.
可怜的艾莉森
Poor Allyson.
想知道晚点她会不会想找我谈
I wonder if she'll want to talk it out with me later.
因为我们是同时代的人
'Cause we're the same generation.
时代意味着同龄
Generation means the same age.
我知道爷爷
I know, Grandpa.
你跟这个女孩分手
Are you breaking up with this girl
是不是为了跟那个夏洛特谈对象
so you can date that Charlotte woman?
是的费里斯让我意识到
Yeah, Felix made me realize
她和我更配
she's a much better match for me.
你现在又想约夏洛特了
Oh, now you want to date Charlotte?
妈的我花了一整晚
Aw, damn it, I was up all night
在想怎么开她妈妈的玩笑
working on jokes about her mama.
甩人专座
Uh-oh. Dumping table.
明明是失恋专区
Breakup Corner!
你们这些人怎么都这么没品呢
Am I the only one with any class?
艾米丽我给你准备了一件礼物
Emily, I have a gift for you.
我知道你很喜欢那场提线木偶表演
I know how much you enjoyed the marionette show...
你绝对想不到啊
Oh, I don't think you do.
所以我就给你买♥♥了个纪念品
...and so I got you a little souvenir.
你好我是艾米丽
Hello. I'm Emily.
艾米丽
So, Emily?
-嗯 -嗯
- Yes? - Yes?
好吧你是在跟木头艾米丽说话
Oh, okay, you're talking to wooden Emily.
我在想咱们今晚可以去试一下那家塞尔维亚餐厅
I thought we could try that new Serbian restaurant tonight,
塞尔比亚风情
A Taste of Srebrenica.
听起来不错哦
Mmm, sounds great.
其实吧费里斯真正的艾米丽
Actually, Felix, uh, real Emily--
人皮艾米丽
uh, skin Emily--
想去试点别的东西
um, might want to try something else.
塞尔维亚肉串不能打动你吗
You sure I can't tempt you with some Serbian meat sticks?
听起来好美味哦
Mmm, that sounds delicious,