天生冤家（2015）

The Odd Couple S02E13

Part 3 March 5, 2021, 12:51 p.m.

奥斯卡
Oscar?
丹妮这位是艾世丽
Dani, meet Ashley.
费里斯的前妻
Felix's ex-wife.
我是打声招呼走还是溜走呢
Do I announce my departure or just slink away?
-请不要离开我 -我还是溜吧
- Please don't leave me. - Slink away, it is.
不是吧纽约这么多人
Seriously? All the human beings in New York,
我偏偏摊上你了
and I get a you?
你以为我想跟我室友的前妻约会啊
Oh, yeah. Like I want to go out with my roommate's ex-wife.
而且你这么说过分了
Also, mean!
我答应跟一个没有头像的人见面
You know, it serves me right for agreeing to out with someone
我活该如此
who didn't post a picture.
我不能上传头像我是个名人
I can't post a picture. I'm a celebrity.
而且你跟你的头像一点不像啊
Also, you look nothing like your photo,
照片妆容艳丽光影修图美丽动人
with the makeup and the shadows and the pretty.
那是艺术照
It was artistic!
如果你想让我认出你
If you wanted me to recognize you,
你该展现出鄙视的眼神
you should have been glaring with disdain.
对就像这样
Yeah, like that.
你们是继续说还是点杯喝的
You two talking or drinking?
我得喝杯苏格兰威士忌
Oh, I could use a Scotch.
给我也来一杯这不算约会
Make it two. And this isn't a date.
所以我还有机会
So I still got a shot.
"好棒啊"
Hooray.
你知道
You know,
费里斯要是知道这事会疯的
Felix is gonna freak out when he hears about this.
他会开始抓狂然后你懂的
He'll start climbing the walls, and then, you know,
疯狂大清扫
vacuuming the ceiling.
实际上他现在过得不错
Actually, he's kind of in a good place.
交了个女朋友很幸福
He's... got a girlfriend now; he's happy.
很好那就好
Good. That's good.
-他理应得到幸福 -是啊
- He deserves it. - Yeah.
跟你约会的那个男人怎么了
So, what happened to that guy you were dating?
哪一个在床上吃麦片那个
Which one? Crunches granola in bed guy
还是"我信仰亚特兰蒂斯"那位
or "I believe in Atlantis" guy.
我们要点餐吗
Are we ordering dinner?
我要点一份科布沙拉
Well, I'm gonna get a Cobb salad.
如果你想就留下
You can stay if you like.
沙拉吗你什么时候
Salad? Since when do you eat anything
不吃热狗或鸡块类的食物了
that doesn't end in "Dog" Or "Nugget"?
原来费里斯一直在我食物里加蔬菜
Well, turns out Felix has been sneaking green stuff in my food
每次加一点我现在还有点喜欢了
a little bit at a time, and I'm actually kind of liking it.
他就是这样让我喜欢上巴洛克音乐的
Yeah, that's how he got me into Baroque music.
一开始是在我入睡时哼唱
He started by humming it when I was falling asleep,
然后设置成了我的手♥机♥铃♥声♥
then he made it my ringtone.
现在我听着这音乐跑步
Now I jog to it.
不管你怎么评价费里斯
Say what you will about Felix,
他确实开阔了你的视野
he broadens your horizons.
还在你睡觉时剪你头发
And trims your hair while you sleep.
这么说吧感觉科布沙拉不错
You know what? A Cobb salad sounds good.
莫林这也许很疯狂我们要点餐
Maureen, call us crazy, we're gonna order dinner.
在餐馆里点餐
Ordering dinner in a restaurant.
还真是"史无前例"啊
Couple of real trailblazers.
我联♥系♥了伦敦的人
Well, called the guy in London
告诉他我不去了
and I told him that I'm not coming.
他怎么回应的
And how did he respond?
他非常生气
He was pretty mad.
但主要是因为英国那边晚个五小时
But mostly because it's five hours later there
我吵醒他了
and I woke him up.
奥斯卡
Oscar.
你这么早回来了约会怎么样
You're home early. How was your date?
很...有意思
It was very... interesting.
我们有很多共通点离异无子女
We had a lot in common: divorced, no kids,
都见过你裸体
and we've both seen you naked.
你跟按♥摩♥师尤尔根约会了吗
You went on a date with Yurge the masseur?
不
No.
那另外一个人就是
Well, the only other person would be...
天呐艾世丽
Oh, my God, Ashley?
但怎么会我是说你...
But how... I mean... Did you...
完全是个巧合
It was a total coincidence.
我不该说什么
I shouldn't have said anything.
慢着你刚跟我前妻
But wait, you just had dinner
吃了晚餐你们俩一起吗
with my ex-wife, the two of you, together?
费里斯你没事吧
Felix, are you okay?
什么当然了我都不在乎
What? Of course. I don't even care.
我♥干♥嘛在乎我们都离了一年多了
Why would I care? We've been divorced for over a year.
我生活的那一章已经翻...还在那页
That chapter of my life is completely not... still open.
-能给我倒杯水吗 -好
- Would you get me a glass of water? - Sure.
谢谢亲爱的
Thank you, darling.
告诉我一切
Tell me everything.
她点了什么问起我了吗
What did she order? Did she ask about me?
还留着刘海吗
Does she still have bangs,
还是又留回难看的斜分了
or has she returned to that unflattering side part?
你不是不在乎吗
I thought you said you didn't care.
我当然在乎了我们结婚15年了
Of course I care. We were married for 15 years--
直到她挖出了我的心脏喂鸟了
until she ripped out my heart and fed it to birds!
但你已经放下过去了吧
But you've moved on, right?
当然了我放下了我现在很幸福
Of course. I've moved on, and I'm very happy now.
你告诉她这事了吗
Oh, did you tell her that?
我放手过去现在很幸福吗
That I've let go of the past and I'm very happy?
她听到肯定气死了
I bet that would kill her.
奥斯卡所以海伦·海丝才恰如其分地
And that, Oscar, is why Helen Hayes is aptly referred to
被誉为美国戏剧界的第♥一♥夫♥人♥
as the First Lady of the American Theatre.
艾米丽
Hey, Emily.
你跟费里斯的前妻相亲了
You went on a blind date with Felix's ex...
她讨厌你你讨厌她
and she hates you, and you hate her,
你还说自己是个名人
and you called yourself a celebrity?
你顶多算个人名
When at best, you're a personality.
天哪我的妻子总是生气孩子总在尖叫
Oh, Lord, my wife is always mad, my kids are always screaming,
但你的生活让我绽开笑容
but your life puts a smile on my face.
我帮奥斯卡说句话
In Oscar's defense,
他和艾世丽一起约会不能怪他
it's not his fault he ended up on a date with Ashley.
-要怪莫夫的约会网站 -约会网站
- It was Murph's dating site. - Dating site?
你要是想找一段真感情
Aw, if you want to make a real connection,
就需要真人来给你介绍
you need a real person to set it up.
别我讨厌这样
Oh, no. I hate setups.
我知道谁最适合你她叫亚历克西斯
I know the perfect woman. Her name is Alexis.
她是我们办公室的新人她很聪明
She's new in my office. She's smart,
有趣而且热爱体育
she's funny, and she loves sports.
我不确定泰迪
I don't know, Teddy.
这是她的近照
Here's a recent photo.
你是说她热爱体育吗
Loves sports, you say?
我来安排
I'll set it up.
艾世丽给我发了短♥信♥
Huh. Ashley just texted me.
"你想见面喝点咖啡吗"
"Would you like to meet for coffee?"
不知道她想做什么
I wonder what she wants.
不知道也许她觉得已经过去很久了
I don't know. Maybe she thinks enough time has passed,
你们可以做朋友
and you can be friends.
我觉得没有理由做不了朋友
Hmm. I can't think of any reason why not.
这是个危险领域哥们
Ooh, that's dangerous territory, buddy.
尤其是你还有个女朋友
Especially when you have a girlfriend.
什么两位成年人见面喝点咖啡而已
What? It's just two adults meeting for a casual cup of joe.
我会和艾米丽说清楚的
I'll make that clear to Emily.
等等等等等等
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Oh!
你疯了吗
whoa. Are you out of your mind?!
什么我不会背着她做事的
What? I'm not gonna go sneaking around behind her back.
我一定要对她说实话
I have to be honest with her.
我都不知道该如何回应了
I don't even know what to say to that.
大家好
Oh. Hey, guys.
艾米丽真高兴你来了
Emily, I'm glad you're here.
走了奥斯卡我们去办公室剪广♥告♥带
Come on, Oscar. Let's go cut those promos back in the office.