天生冤家（2015）

The Odd Couple S02E09

Part 4 March 5, 2021, 12:50 p.m.

Oscar, Emily, a word?
他在这做什么
What is he doing here?
我找到他让你能结束那场比赛
I tracked him down so you could finally finish that game.
为什么要结束
Why would I want to do that?
因为你总在想
Because you always wondered
如果你击败了约书亚会是什么样
what would life would be like had you beaten Joshua.
对啊也许这样你就可以解脱了
Yeah, maybe this will finally give you some closure.
不简直荒唐
No. This is ridiculous.
我不会跟他下的
I'm not playing him.
我看历史在重演了
I see history is repeating itself.
你♥爸♥妈是不是
Are your mom and dad
要把你的大衣给你扣在肩上
gonna drape your winter coat over your shoulders
然后送你去坐木板汽车
and escort you to your wood-paneled station wagon?
够了
That's it.
来战吧约书
Game on, Josh.
人家叫约书亚
Ua. It's Josh-ua.
安德烈来上课了
Hey, Andre's here for his lesson.
非常好计划有变安德烈
Oh, excellent. Change of plans, Andre.
今天给你现场教学
Today, we're taking a field trip...
看我是怎么收拾人的
to the Museum of Whup-Ass.
听着就觉得累
That sounds like a lot of walking.
你们就只管坐着
The only walking you'll see
看我打败这个傻子吧
is me, on sunshine, after I beat this clown.
他想扰乱我的头脑
Oh, he's try trying to get inside my head.
他十分羡慕我这颗头
A head he so covets
因为我满头秀发
because it's covered in beautiful hair.
气死你
Burn!
科尼考斯基弃兵法
Ah, the Konikowski Gambit.
还是那么中规中矩
Ooh-ooh, predictable as ever.
你这手西西里防御不也一样吗约书
As is your Sicilian Defense, Josh.
亚约书亚
Okay, ua! Josh-ua!
我现在好想像欺负小学生一样欺负他们
God, I want to bully them so bad right now.
我以前从没有这样
I've never had a stronger urge
想把手指舔湿然后插到一个成年男性耳朵里
to give a grown man a wet willy.
奥斯卡万一费里斯输了呢
Oscar, what if Felix loses?
有点信心好吗
Hey, have a little faith, will you?
你掉进了我的圈套
Ah, you fell right into my Blackburne-Schilling Trap.
我要赢了
I'm going to win!
安德烈我要赢了
Andre, I'm going to win!
好吧
Okay.
等一下
Wait a second.
你为什么这么早就暴露了你的后
Why would you expose your queen so early in the match?
不知道
I don't know.
傻了吧大概
Dumb mistake, I guess.
奥斯卡
Oscar...
你是不是让他输给我
did you tell him to lose?
什么没有
What? No.
你水平肯定比他高啊
You're clearly better than this hack.
那你为什么要给我钱
Then why did you feel the need to pay me?
哎呀
Oh, oops.
你掏钱让他放水
You paid him to throw the game?
为什么
Why?
因为我很担心你
Because I'm worried about you.
我们都很担心
We all are.
你们不需要担心我知道自己在做什么
Well, you needn't be. I know what I'm doing.
我们来重新下
Now let's play again,
-这次来真的 -我很乐意
- for real this time. - Oh, my pleasure.
但我可不会退钱
But I'm not giving the money back.
我要去参加太空营
I'm going to Space Camp.
看来我们现在只能睡大街了
Well, I suppose we're out on the street,
你把我们的租金都给了这个混♥蛋♥
now that you blew our rent money on this little stunt.
-没有租金我付过了 -那你给他的钱从哪来的
- Nope, I already paid the building. - Well, how'd you pay him?
亚抱歉我还以为你会说约书
Ua! Oops, sorry, I thought you were gonna say "Josh."
我把69年大都会队的首冠棒球卖♥♥了
I sold my '69 Mets baseball.
我们开始吧昂格
Okay, let's go, Unger.
我们都没有...
We don't have all...
Ha-ha, ah, '69.
奥斯卡你很爱那个球的
Oscar, you loved that ball.
你知道吗约书...亚
You know what, Josh... ua?
我现在不想下了
I don't think I want to play anymore.
你是不想输吧
Uh... you mean you don't want to lose.
不我已经赢了
No, I already won.
当年输了那一场我觉得是好事
I think that losing years ago was a blessing.
因为这样才让我过上现在的生活
Because it led me to the life that I have now.
行吧
Okay.
那你现在的生活是什么样的
And what kind of life is that?
过气象棋选手的生活
The life of a chess has-been?
我并不在乎
I don't care about any of that.
对因为你没有得到过
Uh, yeah, because you're not
并不连续的三次
the Northeast Regional Speed Chess Co-Champion
东北地区快棋并列第一
for three unconsecutive years.
还有
And P.S.,
上一次的赛事
the last tournament?
是由埃尔洛克[著名主持人]主持的
Emceed by Al Roker.
所以梦想是会成真的
So dreams do come true.
我想好了
You know what?
我以后再也不想下国际象棋了
I don't think I want to play chess anymore.
孩子
Oh, son...
你不想搞体育运动
you don't want to play sports,
你也不想下象棋
you don't want to play chess...
我们得给你找点兴趣爱好
We gotta find something that you're passionate about.
我已经找到了
I already found it.
我想要跳舞
I want to dance.
我的个天呐
Oh, my God!
对啊他真是太棒了
Yeah, he's amazing, right?
不是我在艾米丽的洗碗槽里
No, I left an unrinsed oatmeal bowl
留了个没有清洗的麦片碗
in Emily's sink!
搞什么
Seriously?
给我添了一分神秘
It adds to my mystique.
下午好麦迪逊先生
Oh, afternoon, Mr. Madison.
非法室友
Unauthorized roommate.
诺曼我们刚签了新租约
Actually, Norman, we just signed a new lease.
费里斯和我是合法租客
Felix and I are legit tenants.
没有错我们已经合法了
That's right, we made it legal.
恭喜你们
Good for you.
不是...
No, not...
好吧谢谢
Okay, thanks.
还有诺曼现在我已经是正经租客了
And, Norman, now that I'm a full-fledged tenant,
我希望我们可以对话
I hope that we could open up a dialogue.
当然可以
Sure. Why not?
既然这样
And to that end,
我已经想好了一些要点
I have put together a few pointers
帮你在门童界脱颖而出
to help you achieve excellence in doormanry.
第一脚下轻快神情轻松
"Number one: Put some pep in your step.
上班时别...
"Be a doorman, not a snore...
偷懒
man."
我的天
Oh, my God.
谢谢你昂格先生
Thanks, Mr. Unger.
我也有一些要点要传授
Ooh, I also have a list.
也许可以分享给大楼管理处
Maybe I could share that with building management.
第一条你从大堂偷花来着
Number one: You stealing flowers from the lobby.
我是要把康乃馨换掉
I was removing carnations!
那花是临时的
They're a filler flower!
稍等我们一下
Would you excuse us, please?
"祝你今天如皇室一般"
You have yourself a royal day.
我知道我知道我知道
I know, I know, I know.