天生冤家（2015）

The Odd Couple S02E07

Part 2 March 5, 2021, 12:49 p.m.

给予别人支持
when someone supports you
和真诚的认可是什么样的
and thinks that you're doing pretty darn great.
可以借一下你的手♥机♥吗
Can I borrow your phone?
因为我的电♥话♥欠费了
Because I haven't paid my bill,
各位我的经理让我们说一句
Hey, guys. My manager has a new greeting
新的欢迎辞是这样的
that he wants us to say, so...
"您好欢迎来到兰福德餐厅"
"Hello. Welcome to Langford's."
"如果有人是卫生检查员
"If anyone here is a health inspector,
法律规定您应当告知我方"
you are required by law to tell us."
有人是吗没有吗
Anyone? No?
别点辣椒烧肉
Don't order the chili.
天哪看谁来了
Oh, God, look who's here.
奥斯卡·麦迪逊
Oscar Madison.
瑞奇·埃森你愿意和我们一起坐吗
Rich Eisen. Would you care to join us?
我们正坐在这里
We were just sitting here,
享受我们的满头秀发
enjoying our full heads of hair.
不了我只是来给你看看外面的东西的
Nope. I just came down to show you something outside.
快来来看看
Come on. Take a look.
快点
Hurry now.
"瑞奇·埃森
"Rich Eisen,
最受好评的卫星电台体育节目"
number one-rated satellite sports show."
我希望还有句
I also wanted it to say,
"奥斯卡·麦迪逊是老二忍♥着"
"Oscar Madison is number two. Suck it"
瑞奇·埃森
最受好评的卫星电台体育节目
但空间不够
but there wasn't enough space.
真的吗看上去你额头上空间挺大
Really? Looks like there's plenty of room on your forehead.
告诉你们这则广♥告♥还能在
Just so you know, uh, that ad can also be seen
你家健身房♥和你妈妈家
on buses that drive by your apartment, your gym,
附近的公交车上看到
and your mom's house.
你怎么知道我妈住哪
How do you know where my mom lives?
我们在她家啪啪啪
It's where we have sex.
过分了埃森
Crossing a line, Eisen.
我该走了最受好评的我要在节目前
I should go. This number one should take a pre-show shower
去洗掉老二的臭味
to wash off the stench of all this number two.
听上去太奇怪了
Yeah, that didn't sound right.
好了紧急员工会议
All right, emergency staff meeting.
现在这是商务午餐了
This just became a business lunch.
-真的吗 -这样我来买♥♥单
- Seriously? - Which means I'm paying.
-我觉得没问题 -说正事吧
- Oh, that's fine by me. - Let's get down to business.
我们要想办法超过埃森
We need to do something to beat Eisen.
改善下情况
You know, shake things up.
人们喜欢好玩的角色
Well, people do like funny characters.
我们不会再推出达阵先生的
We're not bringing back Señor Touchdown.
你确定吗 "太笨手笨脚了"
You sure? "It's a fumble."
远程播送怎么样比如去运动酒吧做节目
How about a remote broadcast? Like from a sports bar.
我们可以在这里做节目
We could do it here.
这主意不赖
That's not a bad idea.
对你很擅长和来电的人打成一片
Yeah, you're great at mixing it up with the callers.
面对面做一次也许会更好
Doing it face-to-face might even be better.
我和埃森的妈妈也是这么说的
That's what I told Eisen's mom.
他如果在这里的话
Which... would've been a better burn
伤害效果会更好
if he was here.
让我来安排一下
Well, let me set it up.
你很快就能打败埃森了
You'll be beating Eisen in no time.
难以置信那个人居然有胆
Can you believe the nerve of that guy, coming down
到兰福德餐厅来奚落我
to Langford's to taunt me?
-兰福德餐厅可是我的地盘 -没错
- I mean, Langford's is my house. - Right.
瑞奇·埃森
排名第一
不是吧
Oh, come on!
奥斯卡·麦迪逊秀
我只是说你不能把波士顿红袜队剔除在外
I'm just saying, you can never count the Red Sox out!
拜托比尔·巴克纳走后
Oh, please. The Sox haven't had a player
红袜队就没有一个真男人了
with anything between his legs since Bill Buckner.
天哪麦迪逊
Geez, Madison...
你为什么对他们这么大怨念...
why do you have such a problem with the...
好了通话时间到
Now, that's enough out of you.
三振你已出局
Strike three! You're outta here!
休息一下下节将和我的好友
Coming up next, we'll talk baseball
大都会队前任球员马库斯·莫菲聊聊棒球
with former Met and good friend, Marcus Murphy.
但首先...
But first...
"你知道四分之一的男士
"Did you know that one out of four men
有勃起障碍吗"
suffers from erectile dysfunction?"
艾米丽好消息
Emily, wonderful news.
我周末的拍照计划取消了
My weekend photo shoot is canceled,
我诚挚邀请你来加入
which means you are cordially invited
48小时的性感享受
to 48 hours of sexy fun.
我听说大魔术师费里斯可能在城中
I hear that Felix the Great might be in town,
他能用他的魔杖让你的内♥裤♥消失
using his magic wand to make your underpants disappear.
真棒
Cool.
也许你会喜欢我的另一个艺名
Perhaps you'd prefer my other stage name,
大卫·扣波非礼
David Cop-a-feel.
抱歉
I'm sorry,
我走神了
I'm distracted.
我刚刚在垃圾桶里翻了一个小时
I just spent an hour pawing through the garbage,
就为了找一位顾客的假牙
looking for a customer's dentures.
我找到的那副不是她的
The pair I found? Not hers.
听着艾米丽我知道
Look, Emily, I know that
这不是你理想中的工作
this is not your ideal job,
但这个工作能支持你做珠宝
but you're just doing this to support your jewelry making.
你在追求梦想我觉得这非常光荣
You're pursuing your dream, and I think that's glorious.
谢谢我需要鼓励
Thank you. I needed that.
我特别期待这周末
And I'm really looking forward to this weekend.
我只是需要在周六中午
I just need to pop out on Saturday
和我妈一起吃饭
to have lunch with my mom.
你妈妈来城里了你怎么没跟我说
Your mother's in town? Why didn't you tell me?
你说你会忙的
You said that you were going to be busy.
再说了让你现在和我妈妈见面
And besides, isn't it too early
是不是太早了
for you to meet my mother?
不我很愿意见你妈妈一面
No, I would love to meet your mother.
我知道她会喜欢我的
And I'm sure she'll like me, too.
我想她一定是位可以深上我的妈
I bet she will be a real MILF.
深深爱上费里斯的妈妈
Mother In Love with Felix.
那好我会跟她说
Okay, then. I will tell her
我的完美男友会来见她
that she will be meeting my perfect boyfriend.
拜托不要说我是完美的
Oh, please, don't describe me as perfect.
这一点要让她自己发现
Let her find out for herself.
《奥斯卡·麦迪逊秀》现在继续
And we're back with The Oscar Madison Show,
我们在纽约
coming to you live
兰福德餐厅体育酒吧为您直播
from Langford's sports bar in New York City.
体育体育体育
Sports, sports, sports!
在请出第一位嘉宾前
Before I bring out my first guest,
先请观众来提个问题吧
how about a question from the crowd?
好的我并不喜欢
Uh, yeah, uh, I didn't take too kindly
你刚刚对我家红袜队的评价
to what you were saying about my Red Sox.
看呐各位
Oh, look, everybody:
一位直立行走的波士顿队球迷
a Boston fan who's standing upright.
那不是个问题哥们
That wasn't a question, pal.
好吧那我问个
Okay, here's one:
你想我打断你脸的哪一个部分
which part of your face you want me to break,
你的鼻子呢还是鼻子呢
your nose or your nose?
我知道我们缺什么了
Oh, I see what we need here.
一名翻译
A translator.
有人说白♥痴♥语吗
Does anybody here speak Idiot?
那是废话之国的专用方言
It's a very specific dialect from the region of Duh.
去你的麦迪逊
Screw you, Madison!
三振你出局了
Strike three, you're outta here!
我说了"三振" 三振
I said "Strike three." Strike three!
三振三振
Strike three! Strike three!
天哪
Oh, my God.
好了哥们我们走我们走快走
Whoa, whoa, whoa, come on, pal, let's go, let's go, come on.
对没错滚出去