天生冤家（2015）

The Odd Couple S02E02

Part 2 March 5, 2021, 12:49 p.m.

还有千万记住要用杯垫
and for God's sake, use coasters.
泰迪我相信你会比较有责任心
Teddy, I'm counting on you to be the responsible one.
你觉得这堵墙
You think this wall can pass
能不能冒充机场万豪酒店的会议室
for a conference room at a airport Marriott?
女士们欢迎光临
Welcome, ladies.
我这经纪人♥大♥会开得好吧
Do I know how to throw an Agent Con or what?
如果费里斯和艾米丽继续发展下去
Hey, you know, if Felix and Emily keep heading down this path,
他们可能会要住到一起去
they may eventually move in together.
这就是你将来的样子
And this could be your future.
行了泰迪你要把我说哭了
Stop it, Teddy, you're gonna make me cry.
好了大家丹妮来了
All right, people, Dani is here.
我还以为你不会来
Oh, I didn't think you were gonna come.
为什么
Why not?
因为我没有邀请你
Well, maybe because I didn't invite you?
对因为你觉得我是那种乖巧听话
Right. Because you think I'm some sweet,
上教堂的老好人
churchgoing, Goody Two-shoes.
不是有点吧
No. Kind of.
确实是这样
Yeah, exactly that.
我告诉你我虽然读圣经
Let me just tell you something. Just because I like the Good Book
-不代表我就不爱玩 -好吧
- doesn't mean I don't like a good time.- All right.
泰迪希望你准备好迎接狂野丹妮
Teddy, I hope you're ready for Wild Dani.
你还没见过狂野丹妮吗
Oh, have you not met Wild Dani?
-我应该是没见过 -你确实没见过
- No, I don't think I have...- No you have not,
你可承受不住
because you cannot handle
狂野丹妮
Wild Dani. Uh-uh.
大家系好安全带她这就来了
Everybody, strap yourselves in, because here she comes.
这酒劲儿有点大
Oh, okay, that-that's got a little bit of a kick.
大伙大伙继续
Uh, y'all-y'all carry on,
狂野丹妮要坐下来休息会
Wild Dani's gonna have herself a sit.
如果性方面也有学院奖
Wow. If they gave out Academy Awards for sex...
那你会得到一个奥斯卡而不是费里斯
You would be getting an Oscar instead of a Felix.
好了
Well. Here we go.
通常来说这种时候
This is usually the part
我们就该吻别然后各走各路了
where we kiss good night and go our separate ways.
今晚可不是
Yup. Not tonight.
今晚我们暴露真我
Tonight we expose our true selves.
可以说是窥见幕后真容
A peek behind the curtains, if you will.
说起来我窥见了你的幕后
Speaking of, I peeked behind your curtains
你今年的圣诞礼物会是一个手持吸尘器
and somebody is getting a Dustbuster for Christmas.
好吧
Okay. Um,
希望你不要介意
I hope that you don't mind, but, um, I'm kind of used
我比较习惯睡得离门远一点
to sleeping farthest from the door. You know...
以防谋杀
in case of murderers.
怪癖
Quirk.
其实也正好
You know, that is actually perfect,
因为我喜欢离门近一点
because I like to be closest to the door
以防火灾
in case of fires. Oh, well,
你看我们俩
look at us.
都有些怪癖但又刚好
We both have our things and they totally
互相契合
go together.
你带的东西还挺多
Whew. You sure brought a lot of stuff.
那是什么
What's that?
这是我的白噪音制♥造♥机
Oh, this is, uh, my white noise machine.
我们可以听着雨声或者海水声
We could fall asleep to the sound of rain or the ocean
或林间鸟叫声入睡
or birds chirping in the treetops.
看样子电池用完了
Oh. Oh-- seems like the battery is dead.
我应该有一颗电池可以…
Oh, I think I have a battery that would...
我并没有
I mean, no I don't.
那是什么
Oh, what's that?
我的加湿器那是什么
My humidifier. What's that?
我的除湿机
My... dehumidifier.
要把我的关掉吗
Should I turn mine off?
这样我会睡不着不过…
I mean, I won't be able to sleep, but...
我倒是愿意把我的关掉
I mean, I would turn mine off,
可太潮湿了我的喉咙会卡住所以…
but the moisture would close my throat, so...
我觉得我们都把它们开到低档吧
I guess we could try putting them both on low.
好
Great.
希望我们不会在床上制♥造♥出龙♥卷♥风♥
And hope we don't start a tornado over the bed.
说到暖锋相遇…
Speaking of two warm fronts colliding...
我确实跟他是高中同学
Yes, I did go to high school with him.
替我跟你♥爸♥打个招呼
Say hi to your dad for me.
奥斯卡有人想从阳台扔东西下去
Oscar, some of the guys want to throw stuff off the balcony.
什么不行莫夫我们这是二十一层
What? Murph, no, we're 21 stories up.
你会砸死人的
You're gonna kill someone.
那纸飞机呢
What about paper airplanes?
会给我开一张乱扔垃圾的罚单
They'd give me a ticket for littering.
那如果我们把它们点着火
What if we lit 'em on fire so they'd burn up
这样着地之前就烧光了
before they hit the ground?
这个计划没瑕疵
I see no flaw in that plan.
干得漂亮莫夫
Well done, Murph.
我发誓我喝醉的时候可聪明多了
I swear, I'm way smarter when I'm drunk.
搞不好你说得对
I think you might be right.
坏消息奥斯卡
Bad news, Oscar.
我们潘趣酒不多了
We're running low on punch.
还剩多少
Oh. How much do we have left?
大概一英尺
About a foot.
妈的要是多准备点酒就好了
Damn. I wish we had more alcohol.
快快快再许一个愿
Quick. Make another wish.
性感内衣美女
Hot woman in lingerie!
可惜了你把愿望都许完了
Aw, damn, I think you're out of wishes.
你来这里干什么费里斯
What are you doing here, Felix?
来拿件毛衣
Just grabbing a sweater.
艾米丽喜欢把恒温器调成冰柜状态
Turns out Emily likes her thermostat set to Santa's meat locker.
狂野丹妮爱死这首歌♥了
Whoo! Yeah! Wild Dani loves this song!
你的助理好像是喝高了啊
Looks like your assistant is down for the count.
她喝了几杯
How many of those has she had?
包括她手里那一杯吗
Including the one in her hand?
一杯
One.
我就走了那么一会儿过去的奥斯卡又回来了
I turn my back and the old Oscar just reappears.
别给我讲大道理费里斯
Don't lecture me, Felix.
过去这一年我努力让你进步
For a year, I've tried to evolve you
从山顶洞人奥斯卡一步步进化至今
from Primitive Cave Oscar into something more refined,
但看来我是失败了
but it seems like I have failed.
著名诗人朗费罗曾说过...
Well, you know, the poet Longfellow once...
这派对太赞了
Awesome party, buddy.
是啊是挺好的
Yeah, it's been great,
可是现在好像有点晚了
but it's getting a little late,
我在想咱是不是该收场了
and I was thinking maybe we should wrap things up
免得邻居抱怨
before the neighbors start to complain.
什么我请了一车女伴舞正在来的路上呢
What? I got a limo full of backup dancers on the way over here.
她们也是舞蹈演员但自尊心一点都不强
They are like regular dancers but with way lower self-esteem.
准备好开始派对起来了吗
Who's ready to get this party started!
当然
Yeah!
等等这派对...
Wait, it...
竟然还没开始吗
hasn't started yet?
艾米丽你在干什么
Emily, what are you doing?
没什么我只是...
Nothing. I was just...
想移一下这把椅子
moving this... chair.
为什么
Why?
做点深夜有氧运动嘛
Just a little late-night cardio.
好吧
Okay.
我每晚都会把椅子堵在门口防止杀人犯进来
I block the door at night to keep out the murderers.
我知道这有点怪可...
I know that it's weird, but...
这是我的一个怪癖嘛
it's just one of my things.
没事的
It's okay.
我明白
I totally get it.
-真的吗 -真的
- You do? - I do.
但现在我就睡不着了
The thing is, now I can't sleep.
你在干什么
Wh-What are you doing?
在你防止根本不存在的杀人犯进来的同时
Well, in your haste to protect us from nonexistent murderers,