大世界之旅（2016）

I'd have to hit other cars, and hope I came off worst.
我必须去撞其他车 希望自己被撞得更惨
Here I go.
来吧
Oh, shit! Didn't quite do it.
可恶！没成功
And soon, my colleagues had the same idea.
很快 我的同事也产生同样的想法
Have some of this.
让你尝尝厉害
哈蒙德想把Aztek撞个粉碎
Hammond trying to smash the Aztek up.
It's impossible to tell, such is the styling.
很难确认 他正常开车也会到处乱撞
我必须以某种方式撞上Aztek 同时让自己的车坏掉
I must somehow ram into the Aztek
in such a way, I break my own car.
Here it comes! It's an accident! Here it is!
来了！这是一次意外！
就是这样！
不 PT漫步者还能跑！
Oh, no, the PT Cruiser is alive!
我继续开车撞向笨重的Aztek
I continued throwing myself at the heavy Aztek
结果跟我所想的截然相反
until I achieved the exact opposite of what I wanted.
Oh! Oh! It died. Uh-oh.
它熄火了
It is, I believe, quite definitely on fire now.
我想现在绝对是着火了
大伙 我们可能评出赢家了
Gentlemen, we may have a winner.
Oh, no. No!
不！
耶！
Yes!
Yes!
太好了！
然后就是拼命争夺亚军宝座
It then became a fight to the death for second place.
Little commie bastard!
你个共♥产♥主义小子
已锁定目标
Target acquired.
Accident!
这是意外！
很快 结果依然未如我所料
And soon, I got the wrong result again.
No!
不！
No!
不！
他的车坏了
He's broken.
That was a bad one.
真是糟糕
为什么我的车还能跑？
Why is my car still working?
我们都知道这是人类制♥造♥出来的最差劲的车
We all know this is the worst thing ever made by man.
来吧 让我出局
Come on, take me. Take me out.
那辆FSO很牢固
That FSO is solid.
Yes! That's more like it.
对！这才像样嘛
Ooh. That's a big hit.
沉重的撞击
But yet again...
但是 又一次…
Is that the FSO down? The FSO down and out?
那辆FSO熄火了吗？
FSO熄火退赛了？
This is a disaster!
这是一场灾难！
And to make things worse...
而且更糟的是…
No, May cocks it up.
不好 梅把它顶出去了
Now just James and I were left.
现在 只剩下我和詹姆斯了
两辆克莱斯勒为了最后一名的荣誉而战
The two Chryslers fighting it out for the honor of last place.
Both cars were now too damaged to catch one another.
两辆车现在都千疮百孔 没法追上对方了
So it was a case of waiting to see...
所以这是静观其变的时刻…
who would die first.
看谁先熄火
Break! Break!
抛锚吧！
Catch fire! Roll over! I don't care! Just break!
着火吧！翻滚吧！ 我无所谓了！快点坏掉吧！
那个标志是温度警报 我的动力在减弱
That bonger is the temperature. I'm down on power.
Yes, I'm boiling.
是的 温度过热了 我想温度过热了
I think I'm boiling over. Any minute now, the engine will seize.
现在发动机随时都会停止运作
I seem to have lost third gear,
我似乎没法挂三挡了 现在它是最有用的挡位
which was the most useful one round here.
Now the gear changes. No, I think I've had it.
没办法换挡 我想它大限已到
No! But my... Look at my temperature gauge! No!
不！但是我的…看看我的温度计！
不！
No, it can't be. No, I won't have this.
不 不可能
不 我不接受这个结果
-喂 -你真的出局了还是在说谎？
Are you out or are you just making it up?
No, I'm out.
-不 我出局了 -不 我还希望这辆才是最糟糕的车
No, it's... I wanted this to be the worst car.
是的
-Yes. -And it says
事实证明 这辆车实际上熬到了最后
that this has actually come last.
It's the sixth worst car ever made.
这是有史以来人类制♥造♥的 倒数第六名最差劲儿的汽车
Hang on, is that the... I forgot the rules.
-等等 我忘记了规则 -就是这样的
-Yes, that's the way it is. -Yes, you've won, so you've lost.
-你是赢家了 所以你输了 -我知道
I know. I'm still running, therefore I've lost. But look at that...
我的车还能跑 所以我输了
我懒得花一个小时 向詹姆斯重新解释比赛规则
Rather than spend an hour re-explaining the rules to James,
we declared the Aztek the winner,
我们宣布Aztek是赢家…
and with Hammond navigating, set off back to the A9.
然后让哈蒙德负责导航
带我们重新回到A9高速公路
Right, we're looking for a bloody big road.
好了 我们在找一条超大的公路
However, before we even realized we were lost,
但是 在我们意识到自己迷路了之前
我的林肯开始出现了PT漫步者没有的问题
my Lincoln started to do what the PT Cruiser wouldn't.
Why is my engine...
为什么我的发动机…
I'm misfiring badly now going up this hill.
在爬这座山时 发动机燃烧不充分
Come on.
给点力
拜托了 汽车
Come on, car, please.
We therefore pulled into a farmyard
因此 我们停进了一个农场进行维修
so I could make some repairs.
我要检查一下汽化器
I'm gonna have a look at my carb-u-rettor.
As I broke out my extensive tool kit,
当我打开一应俱全的工具包时
James went off to put the kettle on.
詹姆斯用水壶烧了热水
-A cup of tea? -Thank you.
-谢谢 -茶？
Would you like a... What?
-什么？ -这很不错
-That's very nice. -I've gotta say...
-我得说… -要吃点软饼干吗？
Would you like a soft biscuit?
-...that works. -It does.
-效果不错 -确实
What works?
什么效果不错？
好吧 确实还行
Well, exactly.
Oh! That's my caravan.
那是我的旅行拖车
这看起来好多了
That's so much better.
Eventually, my repairs were complete.
终于 我的维修工作完成了
Broken.
坏了
Oh, that could keep you occupied for hours.
这够你忙上几个小时了
Why won't it go on? That's ridiculous.
为什么合不严？这太荒谬了
The last thing I knew was I was in my 30s.
我最后只记得我还只有30多岁
-Yeah. -Late 30s, admittedly.
-是的 -将近40岁
然后 突然我就站在野外 依然看着…
And then suddenly, I'm standing in a field still watching...
How's this possible?
这怎么可能呢？
Ah, this is brilliant.
这太棒了
-耶！ -成就感满满
-Yeah! -Ah! Wow!
What a sense of achievement.
-现在 接下来… -我们去哪里？
Now, the next thing is... -Where do we go.
-No mobile phone signal. -No.
-没有手♥机♥信♥号♥♥ -没有
We've gotta find the A9.
我们得找到A9高速公路
-Mm. Mm. -It...
这…
在苏格兰 你没法做的一件事
One thing you can't do in Scotland is navigate using the sun.
-就是用太阳辨别方向 -没错
-No. -No.
-不行 -也不能通过云辨别方向 它们会移♥动♥
You can't navigate by clouds, they move.
How about getting...
那如果靠瞎猜呢？
Having decided to go for that option,
在决定靠瞎猜之后 我遇到了一些小事故
I had a couple of small accidents.
Oh, God.
天啊
But soon, we were back on the move,
但是 很快我们又出发了
with Pathfinder Hammond once again on point.
探路者哈蒙德再次负责带路
Any minute now, there'll be a T-junction,
很快就会遇到一个T型交叉路口 然后…
and then a... a small road rather than a track,
就能离开小道 开上小路 然后就能找到大路
and then a big road.
Then, all of that didn't happen.
然而 并没有看到任何小路大路
There's a hole.
这有个坑
Hammond's just brought us on a rally special stage by the looks of it.
似乎哈蒙德把我们 带到了一个特殊的拉力赛阶段
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Is this the A9?
这是A9吗？
No.
不是 上面没有超速摄像头
No speed cameras on it. That's how you know it's not the A9.
凭这就能看出不是A9
Oh! No! Shit.
不！可恶
What?
怎么了？
I'm sorry! That was hilarious!
对不起！那太搞笑了！
女士们 先生们 这张照片里缺了什么？
So, ladies and gentlemen, what is missing from this picture?
-太经典了 -我从来没见过这番景象
It was just epic!
I've never seen anything like it!
-What, the towbar's come off? -Yeah.
拖车杆脱落下来了吗？
-是的 -拖车杆掉下来了
The towbar has come off.
天啊 那是…
Oh, dear. That's...
这放在《猫和老鼠》的动画里肯定很好笑
If you put that in a Tom and Jerrycartoon, it would be absurd.
-What if that had happened on the A9?
如果在A9上发生了这种情况可怎么办？
Well, that, you'd have there'd have been shouting.