大世界之旅（2016）

What I've done to bring out and enhance
我为了突出和强化旅行拖车的美国风格
the Americanness of my rig is turn my caravan into...
于是我把旅行拖车变成了
well, the most American and the only cool caravan ever built.
有史以来最具美国风格 并且是唯一一辆酷炫的旅行拖车
It's an Airstream.
这是一辆Airstream
Look at that! Yeah!
你们瞧！没错！
我选择了低底盘车的造型
I've gone for the low-rider look.
This is a sleek rig. It is big, though.
这是一辆时尚的旅行拖车
虽然它很大 比伦敦巴士还长30厘米
One foot longer than a London bus. But less sporty.
但是运动感会少一些
你得承认 这是相当复古的感觉
You got to admit, it's pretty retro-brilliant.
No, it looks like a caravan covered in tin foil for no obvious reason.
不 它看起来就像一辆 不知为何要铺上铝箔的旅行拖车
他真是个容易被骗的小个子 不是吗？
He really is a deluded little man, isn't he?
观众们 我这里的构思是最好的
Now, I've had the best idea here, viewers,
因为旅行拖车的问题在于外观不好看
because the problem with caravans is that they are unsightly.
They all park together in a field.
全都停在野外
都是一堆白色的箱子 看起来像保鲜盒
They're all a load of white boxes.
It looks like a load of Tupperware.
所以 我把我的旅行拖车涂成黑白色的
So, I've painted mine black and white and given it an udder.
然后给它加了一个乳♥房♥♥
它确实有一个乳♥房♥♥！
It does indeed have "a" udder!
阵容庞大的摄制组车队紧随身后
With our massive crew convoy bringing up the rear,
we soldiered on through the constant Caledonian downpour.
我们在下个不停的 苏格兰大雨中继续勇往直前
Uh, can we stop for fuel soon? I'm getting a bit low.
我们能尽快找地方加油吗？油量有点低了
Um, I don't know how you used it up on the track,
我不知道你怎么在赛道上把油用完的
不过可以 我们去找个加油站
but yes, we shall find "an" petrol station.
Oh, this has got very Scottish!
现在的情况非常苏格兰！
Oh, it's... it's really cold, really cold now.
-很冷 现在真的很冷 -典型的苏格兰
Yeah.
是的
在詹姆斯确定了
Having established he'd been doing
他的百公里油耗量是29.4 对北极熊友好之后
a polar-bear-friendly eight miles to the gallon,
James announced it was time for his morning ablutions,
他宣布现在是他早上的斋戒沐浴时间了
这意味着他必须在停车场里把车停好
which meant he had to put his car in the car park.
I need to go that way with that arm.
我得让拖车臂往那边去
那个东西往那边去 或者差不多是这样
That one goes that way, or something like that.
What is he doing?
他在干吗？他怎么能停得这么离谱…
How has he managed to get it so far...
为他说句公道话 停车场确实比较小
In his defense, it is quite a tight car park.
Having decided that was good enough,
确定这样停已经够好了之后
James went off to do his business.
詹姆斯就去干正事了
我们按惯例静静等待
And we settled down to our customary wait.
我每天都要浪费大约一小时来等他那个…
I lose about an hour a day waiting for him to have his...
这时间足够吃顿烤肉大餐了 老友
Got time for a roast dinner, mate.
-读《每日电讯报》 玩填字游戏… -如果他玩填字游戏的话…
By the time he's read The Telegraph, done the crossword.
And if he does the crossword.
Yeah, I'd say you've got an hour.
是的 我觉得你有一小时的时间
What?
怎么了？
This is brilliant.
这太聪明了
Why do they use such long hoses in fire engines?
为什么消防车里需要这么长的软管？
Well, in case the fire's a long way away.
以防起火的地方比较远
Right.
好了
Oh, this is...
这是…
我们可以告诉他屋顶密封漏了
We could always tell him that the roof seal
-was leaking. -Yes.
是的
Yes.
没错
如果你刚刚收看节目
If you've just joined us,
it's a difficult story to unpack.
这个故事说来话长
Right now he's probably on three-down.
现在他可能在填纵向第三个词了 你知道打仗时有人会大喊 “紧急升空”吗？
You know when they used to shout "Scramble!" in the war?
-Yes. -No.
-是的 -不
你能想象他是飓风战斗机飞行员吗？
Oh, can you imagine if he was
-a Hurricane pilot? -No.
不能
I reckon you're about there, Hammond.
我看差不多了 哈蒙德
We assumed James wouldn't discover our mischief until he drove off.
我们认为詹姆斯在开车离开时 才会发现我们的恶作剧
However, we didn't have to wait that long.
结果 我们不必等那么久
他要气疯了！
He's got to be cross!
Jesus!
天哪！
你旅行拖车上的屋顶透光窗是开着的
The roof light was open on your caravan.
-Yeah. -You're so funny.
-是的 -你们真搞笑
Well, while I admire your ingenuity and your application,
好吧 虽然我很欣赏 你们的聪明才智和作案手法
that was a low blow on a day like this.
但在像这样的一天里 这是很卑鄙的行为
我都湿透了 而且你们 本应把我的个人物品拿出来
I was already wet. And you could have taken my personal effects out.
三个人对同一件事的看法都各不相同 这样是不是很有趣？
Isn't it funny how three people can have very different views of the same thing?
I thought it was a really good idea.
我以为这真的是个好主意
Mm. Same here.
我也一样 反正你的大部分个人物品都是橡胶的
And most of your personal effects were rubber anyway.
Oh, God, it's dripping water. How can my windscreen be leaking?
天啊 这在滴水
我的挡风玻璃怎么会漏水？
Like I give a toss.
说得我会在乎似的
Ooh!
A few miles later, we turned off the main road,
十多公里之后 我们离开了主干路
heading for the remote center of Scotland
前往苏格兰的偏远中心去做一些科学研究
to do some scientific research.
是的 我们确实喜欢我们的汽车
Now, yes, we do like our cars.
它们很有魅力 很有趣
They're charismatic and they're interesting.
詹姆斯和理查德 目前都有美国车 他们有特斯拉
And James and Richard currently own American cars.
They've both got Teslas.
但我们并不是说所有的美国车都很好
But we are not suggesting for a minute
that all American cars are good because they're not.
因为事实并非如此
其中一些美国车很糟糕
Some of them are terrible.
And what we're doing now is plunging deep into the Scottish countryside
我们现在要深入苏格兰乡村
to conduct an important experiment, which is this...
进行一个重要的实验 是这样的
Who made the worst cars,
看谁制♥造♥了最差劲儿的汽车
the Soviet Union or the Americans?
苏联人还是美国人？
Representing the Soviet Union, we have the FSO Polonez 1.6,
我这边代表了苏联车
我们有FSO波罗乃兹1.6
拉达Riva 1200
the Lada Riva 1200 and the Zastava GTL 55.
和Zastava GTL 55
我这边代表美国车
And representing the United States in America,
we have the Chrysler Voyager, the Chrysler PT Cruiser,
我们有克莱斯勒Voyager
克莱斯勒PT漫步者 这辆车让我想吐
which is making me feel sick, and the Pontiac Aztek.
还有庞蒂亚克Aztek
我们要围绕这片场地进行比赛
What we're gonna do is have a race around this field,
我们三个开美国车 摄制组里年纪最小的三个人开苏联车
us three in the American cars
and three of our most junior, and therefore expendable, researchers in the Soviet cars.
因此 苏联车里的研究人员是属于消耗品
Rules are simple,
规则很简单 第一个出局的就是赢家
the first one out is the winner.
Hang on, you got that wrong.
-等一下 你搞错了 -什么？
What?
“第一个出局的就是赢家”？这说不通啊
It's not the first... "The first one out is the winner"?
-That doesn't make sense. -Yes, it does.
没错 就是这样
历史上没有赛车比赛 规定第一个出局的就是赢家
No, there's no motor race in history where the first one out won it.
No, we're trying to find the worst car.
我们想找出最糟糕的车 所以最差的汽车会先出局
The worst car will be the first one to conk out.
-Oh. -Oh, no, actually...
-实际上… -是的
-Yeah. -He's got a point, hasn't he?
他说得有道理
Then the loser is the winner.
所以输家就是比赛赢家
-Yes. -Got it.
-是的 -明白了
-Right. -Good.
-对 -很好
所以 在下着毛毛雨的阴沉天气下…
And so, under a blanket of light drizzle,
the Cold War shootout began.
这场冷战大决战开始了
观众们 事实上这是世界上第一辆面包车
This, viewers, is the world's first minivan, in fact.
你需要知道的最重要事情是
But the most important thing you need to know about it
is that in the Euro NCAP Frontal Collision Test,
在欧洲新车安全评鉴协会的 正面碰撞测试中 它的得分是…
it scored... Where's the gear stick? Zero.
变速杆在哪里？零分
唯一购买♥♥漫步者的 都是那种坐在办公室里的人
The only people who bought these Cruisers were those people
that you find in offices with a sign on their desk saying,
他们的桌子上有一个标志写着 “在这里工作 你们不需要发脾气
"You don't have to be mad to work here, but it helps."
“但发脾气会有所帮助”
I've got a 3.4-liter V6, 185 brake horsepower.
我的是3.4 升 V6发动机 185匹制动马力
然后就没有其他卖♥♥点了
And that's the end of the good news.
Everything else about this car is disgusting.
其他关于这辆车的一切都很倒胃口
At its launch in 2000, they unveiled the first car
在2000年发布时
他们让第一辆车首次亮相 观众们屏住呼吸
and the audience gasped and then laughed!
然后就笑喷了出来
When Walter White in Breaking Badwas given one of these to drive,
当《绝命毒师》里的沃尔特怀特 拿到这辆车来开的时候
那辆车是精心挑选用来衬托演员的
the car was as carefully cast as the actor.
They wanted to show him as a loser.
他们想把他营造成失败者的形象
说起营造失败者的形象 没什么能比庞蒂亚克Aztek更合适的了
And nothing says "loser" better than a Pontiac Aztek.
Ha-ha! Lada!
拉达！
I then decided that to win this race
然后我发现 要赢得这场比赛