大世界之旅（2016）

Yes. You're joking?
是的 你在开玩笑吧?
Oh, right.
好吧
I'm losing drive. I'm losing drive.
我又失去动力了 又没了
Oh, shit.
哦 我去
I'm in a tree. Big problem.
我卡在树里了 问题不小
As it was late and Hammond's boat was poorly,
由于天色已晚 鼹鼠的船又坏了
and I was in a tree, we decided to make camp.
我又卡在树里了 于是我们决定就地扎营
And we woke the next morning in a blanket of drizzle
我们第二天在一片毛毛雨中醒来
with no idea where we were.
茫然不知自己身在何处
It's all gone a bit English-boating-holiday, hasn't it?
这和英式游船假期有点像对吧?
Yeah.
是的
Why did he turn off the Mekong, anyway?
为什么他之前要离开湄公河?
He wanted to stop off and make a history programme or something.
他突然想停下来做一♥期♥历史节目
No, listen, he did a cooking show last night as well. You missed that.
听着 我们昨晚还做了烹饪节目 但你错过了
My pho was so light and beautiful...
我的越南河粉清爽美味
Oh, this man's going to see me!
哦 这人会看见我的上厕所的!
They're gonna be scarred for life.
他们这辈子都会留下创伤的
Morning.
好上早
If he falls in and follows his own turd--
如果他跟着他的便便一起...
Trousers. ..into the lavatory bowl...
我的裤子 掉进马桶里面...
and emerges with it stuck to his head...
脸上沾着粪便从河里浮上来...
Someone would say, "There's a particularly massive turd in the river this morning."
有人会说:"今早河里有一坨巨型便便"
With the morning ablutions complete,
早上的洗礼沐浴完毕之后
it was time to move on.
是时候动身了
And, since it was Jeremy who'd got us lost,
因为是杰瑞米带着我们走丢的
we decided it was up to him to get us un-lost.
我们让他负责带我们找回对路
You're in charge of charts. Lead the way.
你现在是负责看航路图的 带路吧
We shall reacquire the Mekong very soon.
我们应该很快就能回到湄公河了
Yeah, I hope so. For your sake, really.
希望果真如此吧 其实为了你自己好
I admit we are entirely lost
我承认我们完全迷路了
and none of these canals are marked on the map.
这些运河一条都没有被标注在地图上
A few miles later, while still not on the Mekong,
航行了几公里还是没有找到湄公河
we came across a floating market...
但我们遇到了一个水上集市...
...and decided to buy some breakfast.
于是决定买♥♥点早餐
It's not really a supermarket, is it?
这不算是超♥市♥吧?
Where do I... What do I do?
我怎么...哪里可以...我该做什么?
You drive in there, pull up alongside a boat
你可以从这里开进去 把停在船旁边
where you like the look of the produce, and then buy it.
喜欢哪个 买♥♥就完事了
For Richard and James, this turned out to be easy.
对于鼹鼠和船长来说 这看起来很简单
Thank you. Thank you.
谢谢 谢谢
But for me, in the unruly PBR...
但对我来说 在桀骜不羁的内河巡逻艇里...
Oh, my God!
我的天!
(BLEEP) hell!
见鬼了
I can't steer it.
我没法转向
Oh, my giddy aunt.
我的妈呀
Sorry. Sorry.
对不起 对不起
I'm just... I'm gonna have... Oh, no, no, no, no.
我只是想...
Hammond, I've smashed your window.
哈蒙德 我撞碎了你的玻璃
Yeah, I can see that.
是啊 我都能看见
Yeah.
是啊
Stop beeping! Hello, hello.
别哔哔了嘿，你好
Hello. What's that?
你好 那是什么
Yes. 50 cents. OK.
对的 50美分 好嘞
OK. OK. I've bought... What are they?
好吧 我买♥♥了...这是什么?
Move the...!
让开!
Ooh. Sorry.
哦 对不起
I'll go over here. I meant...
我要去那边 我本想...
Don't...
别...
Don't spin around again. Oh, no!
别再转圈圈了 哦不!
Sorry.
对不起
Tomatoes. Excellent. And an onion.
番茄 好极了 再来个洋葱
Thank you. No idea what that is.
谢谢你 我完全不知道这是什么
Wait a minute. This is looking good.
等一下 那个看上去很不错
I think, for once... Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
我觉得我终于要... 哦不不不不不
It's gone wrong.
全乱套了
Oh, God. Sorry. I'm gonna break his rudder.
我的天真是对不起 我要撞坏他的船舵了
Oh... Yeah.
果然
I eventually left empty-handed.
我最终两手空空地离开了
But, as James prepared his breakfast...
不过 就在詹姆斯准备早餐的时候
...we found the Mekong.
我们找到了湄公河
Sadly, however, it didn't end our problems.
不幸的是 我们的问题还没有解决
If we followed this particular bit of the Mekong, or this one,
如果我们沿着这部分湄公河航行 或者这条
or any of the others,
或者其他这些河道
we'd end up in the sea,
我们都会到达大海
and avoiding any form of sea
对于内河船来说
in our riverboats was critical.
避开大海是很重要的
So, we had to find another path through the delta.
所以我们要另辟他径来穿越三角洲
This meant turning off the Mekong again
这意味着要再次离开湄公河
and onto another canal, which made Hammond very angry.
进入另一条运河 这让哈蒙德暴跳如雷
Oh, this looks brilliant!
这条路看上去棒极了!
We're on another bloody canal!
我们又进了另一条该死的运河!
Oh, for God's sake.
老天爷啊
Hammond, if I still had .50 cals on the front of this,
哈蒙德 如果我前面还装着.50口径的机♥枪♥
I promise I would open up on you right now.
我保证现在会对你开火的
Yes, well, you haven't. And there's a reason for that.
但你没有啊 而且这是有原因的
Because you'd probably lose them the same way you lost the massive river.
因为机♥枪♥可能被你搞丢了 跟你连这么大条河都能走错一样
You'd lose your massive machine gun.
你也搞丢了你的大机♥枪♥
It cannot be this way.
不可能是走这边的
I was convinced we were going in the right direction
我坚信我们的航行方向是正确的
and for the right reasons.
并且基于正确的理由
But, still, none of these canals appeared on my sat-nav system.
然而这些运河仍然没出现在我的卫星导航上
OK. So, we're going south. We're going the wrong way.
好吧 我们正在往南走 其实我们走错了
If I do a left and a right...
如果我们先左拐再右拐...
we'll wiggle about and I'll be fine.
我们摆动两下方向就没事了
I think there's a left turn here.
我觉得我们这里要左拐
If we take this, I think that'll help us find the correct Mekong.
如果我们走这边 应该能找到正确的湄公河了
Or just get us more lost.
或者会让我们更加晕头转向
Jeremy Clarkson, would you like to rethink this? This is your chance.
杰瑞米·克拉克森 你不三思一下吗? 这可是你的机会
Calm.
冷静
Eventually, we came to an aquatic T-junction.
最终 我们来到了一处"丁"字水路口
So, which way is it?
所以该走哪边?
Right, chaps, we're gonna go...
好了 伙计们 我们走...
Take a right, James.
右拐吧 船长
I followed James, which meant Jeremy was directing us from the back.
我跟着詹姆斯 这就意味着杰瑞米是在后面带路
So this right turn that you announced with absolute confidence
你自信满满的右转指令...
is based on what?
是根据什么而下的结论?
Hope.
希望
Hammond, when you get through that,
哈蒙德 你穿过桥洞后
could you just look back and see if I can?
能不能帮我看看我能不能通过?
What? Hammond! Hammond! Hammond!
什么? 哈蒙德! 哈蒙德! 哈蒙德!
Oh, oh, oh, that's not gonna work!
哦哦哦 你过不去的!
Ah, that didn't fit.
看来没法完美通过啊
Thanks, Hammond! Well, I was... I... I...
真是感谢你哈蒙德 我...
I was getting through before I could turn round.
我自己也在过桥洞 来不及后头看
Do you know what that means, Hammond? The nav's gone.
你知道这意味着什么吗? 导航没了
Oh, well, it's done us a lot of bloody good so far, hasn't it!
好吧 那玩意儿也没起什么作用 不是么?
Oh, we've lost the thing that's got us lost!
哦 我们搞坏了把我们带迷路的玩意儿!
As we continued, the problems started
在我们继续航行时 问题已经
to come not from above but from below.
不在于头顶上 而在于水下了
I think I'm bumping the bottom here occasionally.
我觉得我在时不时地蹭着河底
I think I did just now, as well.
我想我刚刚也是
Oh, I am hitting the bottom.
哦 我碰到河底了
Oh, wait a minute.
等等
Hammond, it's a dead end. It's a dead end, for God's sake.
哈蒙德 这是死胡同 天啊
Sod it, I'm beached. Completely beached.
不是吧 我搁浅了 完全搁浅了
You what? And I can't turn round. Save yourself.
你怎么了? 我没法掉头了 自求多福吧
But it was too late for that.
但是已经太晚了
Oh, for God's sake.
哦 我的天啊
I could have turned round, but...
我本来可以掉头的 但是...
I'm weeded up. I'm losing drive.
我的船又被水草堵了 我要没动力了