大世界之旅（2016）

It's like a fat man trying to look at his penis.
好比一个大胖子试图想看自己的小鸡鸡
Ohh! Crike all bloody mighty!
哎唷 我的老天啊
Having found my keys, I was now wishing I hadn't.
找到钥匙之后 我反倒觉得后悔了
Oh, my God
天啊
What I'm gonna try and do is get it up and out of these ruts.
我要试着把车开到高一点的地方 避开车辙
It might mean some unusual angles at times.
也就是说有时可能要走不寻常的角度
Come on, little pirate. Keep pushing.
加油 你是海盗 继续前进
Urgh! Oh, shit.
该死
I daren't look. Aargh!
我不知道 我不
The track was completely mangled. And as a result...
履带完全损毁了 结果…
Votre voiture, c'est...là-bas, oui?
您的车是在那边吗
...I was now blocking the road.
…我现在把路给堵住了
I think what's happening here is people are getting a bit cross.
现在大家都有点恼怒
I'm holding them all up, there's obviously a traffic jam building.
因为我挡住了他们的去路 现在大排车龙
This is the Route Nationale, it's the main road.
这是一条国道 是主干道
The mainest of main roads.
主干道里的核心要道
On the plus side, silver lining and all that, I met an actual pirate.
但往好的方面看 看这个银饰 我遇到了真正的海盗
However, having chatted to him for a bit...
不过 跟他攀谈了一会儿之后…
Un petit plus lentement, s'il vous plaît. Français...
请您用法语再慢慢说一遍
...I realised I couldn't have been more wrong.
…我才意识到我大错特错了
I've discovered something.
我发现了一件事情
This guy's getting married today. It's his wedding.
这个人今天要结婚 这是他的婚礼
That's what all this is.
这就是事情的真♥相♥
He's not dressed as a pirate. He's a groom.
他不是要打扮成海盗 他是新郎
And I was holding up him and his entire wedding party.
而我现在挡住了他的整个婚礼车队
Oh, God!
天啊
Meanwhile, up ahead...
与此同时 在前方…
OK, I admit it. This is the worst road in the world ever. Mary was correct.
好吧 我承认这就是世界上最差劲的公路 玛丽说得对
Mary will probably turn out to be a prop forward who drives a JCB for fun at weekends.
玛丽或许是个橄榄球前锋 周末喜欢开着JCB挖掘车玩
Gaargh, that is a horrible noise!
呃啊 这噪音真可怕
I think this is impossible.
我觉得这里是过不去的
I mean, we need some blasting equipment to get through here.
我们需要爆破设备才能通过这里
If you come round this way, you can see from down here,
你转过来从下面看就知道了
there's no way in hell you can get a Bentley up that.
绝对没可能把宾利开到那上面去
Sadly, James and I didn't have any blasting equipment.
不幸的是 我和詹姆斯都没有爆破设备
So we had to do something radical.
于是 我们只能采取激进的措施
Work together.
携手合作
Tiny bit of left-hand down. Now you'll have to go for it.
往左打一点 然后你得加速冲上去
Please!
加把劲
Gently. There you go.
慢点 好了
As we were struggling with the terrain,
当我们在艰难的地形上前进时
our colleague was having to deal, in bad French, with his held-up wedding party.
我们的同事不得不用蹩脚的法语来处理事情
with his held-up wedding party.
因为他挡住了婚礼车队的去路
Je m'excuse. Maintenant, je...aller...
对不起 现在我要这样过去…
Je vais... And you can do the same. Sorry.
然后你就可以过去了 对不起
To speed things up,
为了加快速度
I decided to ditch the tracks, and put the focus back on wheels.
我决定抛弃履带 重新给福克斯装上车轮
And because they wanted to get to the church on time,
因为他们希望能准时到达教堂
the groom and his mates were more than happy to help.
所以新郎和他的朋友们都很乐意帮忙
More wedding people.
出现了更多去参加婚礼的人
Up ahead, our cars were still taking the punishment.
在前方 我们的车依然在迎难而上
How in the bloody hell is it doing this?
这车是怎么做到的
You are watching a Bentley Continental coming up here. Woo-hoo!
你正在看到一辆宾利欧陆在攀山越岭
However, the big surprise of the day was the two-wheel-drive Caterham.
不过 今天最大的惊喜是两轮驱动的卡特汉姆
Get up there, car. Come on. Go on. Is that wheel up in the air?
开上去 小车 加油 有一个前轮都悬空了
Jesus, it did it. Did you see that? It did it.
天啊 成功了 你看到了吗 它成功了
This is a track car. It's a racing car. -Can I just remind you of that?
这是一辆赛道车 是赛车 可别忘了这点
At this point, I'd held up the wedding party for two hours.
到现在为止 我已经让婚礼延误了两个小时
But, by using calmness and patience...
但通过冷静和耐心…
...I'd been able to get the wheels on...
…我成功把车轮都换上了…
Merci.
太棒了 谢谢
Sorry.
对不起了
...get out of everyone's way...
…给大伙让出一条道…
...and then get back on the move.
…然后继续上路
My big problem now, ground clearance. I haven't got any.
我现在的大问题是底盘太低
It's basically a standard Focus RS.
这就是一辆标准版的福克斯RS
Up ahead, the road's surface hadn't changed,
在前方 路况并没有改善
but it had got narrower.
而且还变得更窄了
So I had to use an ingenious traffic management solution
所以我不得不使用本地人发明的
developed by the locals.
巧妙的交通管理方案
So your job, you run ahead to stop the cars?
所以你的工作是跑到前面拦住别的车
Yes. Stop the cars. Yes, that's my job. And that's your job.
然后拦下那些车 没错 这是你的工作
I've just met a young guy who's going to run ahead of us
我刚碰到了一个小伙子他要跑到我们前面
to stop cars coming the other way.
去拦下从对面开过来的车
What does he do if there are cars coming the other way?
如果那边有车要过来 他会怎么做
He stops them in a place where we can get past, you mean?
他会让那些车停在我们可以通过的地方吗
Exactly.
没错
He organises cars to meet at the right place.
他负责组织汽车在合适的地方会车
It worked. Running Boy, as he called himself,
方案奏效了 这位自称奔跑少年的小伙子
did a brilliant job of managing the traffic.
出色地完成了管理交通的工作
Yes, what... This is a service I like.
是的 怎么了 我喜欢这项服务
I'm going to give him a lot of money because he's bloody earned it.
我要给他一大笔钱 因为这是他理所应得的
My tight-fisted colleague, however,
不过 我这位吝啬的同事
hadn't bothered to do a deal with my new friend.
并没有和我的新朋友达成协议
So he was encountering oncoming traffic...
于是 他遇上了迎面开来的车流…
Jeez.
天啊
...in all the wrong places.
…结果堵得水泄不通
I can't go backwards.
我没法倒车
I can't ba... I can't reverse. I'd have to reverse for about four miles.
我不能倒车 我得倒着走大概六公里
James is a stubborn man but in the face of this much opposition,
詹姆斯是个固执的人 但是现在对方人多势众
he had to resort to bad English and his winch.
他不得不开始讲蹩脚英语以及使用绞盘
Strap on the tree.
系在那棵树上
This... You drive.
这辆车… 你开过来
Ok
好的
Get out and help me.
然后下车帮我
Higher. Round the branch.
再高一点 绕树枝一圈
With the strap attached, I winched away.
绞盘绳固定好之后 我用绞盘把车拉开
Good?
行吗
Can you get through?
你们能过去吗
Well done!
很好
Oi!
喂
Several miles back, the Ford, incredibly, was still going.
在后面几公里处 福特还在难以置信地继续前进
Come on.
加油
Gee! Bloody...
这车太牛了天啊
There we go. Good car.
好了 真是好车
But I was struggling.
但是我快熬不住了
I'd been on the go for ten hours
我已经开了十个小时
and as I was heading for another late night
而且后面又要熬夜开车
I decided to stop and grab something to eat.
我决定先停下来吃点东西
We've been given these emergency ration packs.
摄制组给我们发了这些应急口粮
So, what I do is, take the top off there
我要做的是 撕开上面的封条
and that's the food which is, I don't know, beans and sausages.
这个就是食物 我说不上来 可能是豆子和香肠
That goes in there. And then I add a little drop of water.
把这个放进去 然后加一点水
I presume this triggers some sort of chemical reaction
我猜这样会使小袋子里的东西
with whatever it is in the little bag of stuff.
发生某种化学反应
I don't think that's working.
我感觉并没有起效
There's no heat. I'd get more out of a hand warmer.
没有发热 我的手反而还要热一点
Oh, wait a minute, it's inflating.
等等 它在沸腾
Oh! Oh, no! Oh, my God. -Oh! No, there's...
不我的天不 这是…
It's O... Oh! Oh, that's so hot! Ah! Burning my balls! Ow!
不很烫 我的蛋蛋都被烫到了
As Hammond cooked his testicles, we were still on the move.
在哈蒙德烹饪自己的蛋蛋时 我们还在继续前进 苟延残喘
Just. We still have about nine miles to go.
我们还有大约14公里路程
I could crawl it faster than we're going.
我爬过去的速度可能比现在还要快
Yeah. Go...
但是
Clarkson, stop. There's a man here with parts of your car.
克拉克森 停下 这里有个人捡到了你的汽车零件
Move. Come on, Bentley. Come on, Bentley!
前进 加油 宾利
It's getting dark. It's gonna go dark.
天要黑了 天色会变暗
I can't believe it. We're not going to make this bloody town tonight.
不敢相信 今晚我们居然到不了那个村子
How can we fail to do 15 miles in a day?
我们怎么会一天连24公里都走不完呢
I can't drive like this.
我没法在这种情况下开车