外星也难民

Solar Opposites S04E10

Part 1 Sept. 18, 2023, 3:33 p.m.

我的教♥徒♥们
My flock,
我们最大的恐惧成真了
our worst fears were realized
异教♥徒♥们派杀手潜入我们的王国
when the heathens sent assassins into our kingdom
并绑♥架♥了我们美丽的孩子杰小西
and kidnapped our beautiful baby Jessius.
他们在她的脑海里灌输了无数的谎言
Already, they're filling her mind with lies!
他们告诉她杰西恨我们
They're telling her that Jesse hates us
拉菲太妃糖最好吃的口味是香蕉
and that the best flavor of Laffy Taffy is banana.
杰西指派给我们
Jesse tasks us,
她最忠诚的仆人
her most faithful servants,
一项艰巨而危险的任务
with a grave and dangerous task.
我们必须从恶魔手中救出杰小西宝宝
We must rescue baby Jessius from the hands of evil
并铲除异己
and strike down those who wish us harm.
墙国会在杰西的指挥下重新团结起来
The Wall will be united under Jesse's bow.
而我会以她的名字治理
And I will rule in her name!
无论如何我们要确保爱莎准备好...
Anyway, we have to make sure AISHA is prepared for...
泰里你又戴着耳机吗
Terry! Do you have AirPods in again?
你知道我分辨不出来你是在听我说话
You know I can't tell when you're listening to me
还是在听什么关于面包的播客
or some fucking podcast about bread.
我戴着但没放声音
I am, but they're not on.
我想没有耳朵也能有耳钉的效果
I want the look of earrings without the commitment of ears.
今天是每年飞船维护最重要的一天
It's the most important day of the year for ship maintenance.
我需要你集中精神
I need you to focus.
别那么精神紧绷我来了
Ugh, don't strain those bitter tits, I'm on it.
很紧绷了
They are strained!
爱莎会离线两小时
AISHA will be offline for two hours
来完成她的年度更新
for her once-a-year software update.
两个小时
Two hours!
两个小时没那么久
Two hours isn't that long.
我坐着无所事事的时间都比这个长
I've sat around doing literally nothing for longer than that.
我们要在她关机的时候监控驾驶舱
We have to monitor the cockpit while she's shut down.
这很严肃
This is serious.
赶紧更新吧
Let's get this update going.
我准备好在家度假了
I'm ready for my staycation.
我今天不行
Oh! You know, today's actually no bueno for me.
我有别的计划
I have plans.
你才说了你什么都不干
You just said you don't do anything!
记得杰西和那个什么破学校的拍卖♥♥吗
Remember that auction at Jesse and what's-his-fuck's school?
我用了一大堆我们的无血钻石竞标
I bid a ton of our blood-less diamonds
并赢了和南希·斯沃顿共度一个下午的机会
and won an afternoon with Nancy Silverton!
这是谁
Who the fuck is that?
胡子詹姆斯屡获殊荣的厨师和面包大亨
James Beard award-winning chef slash bread mogul.
她要过来亲自教我怎么做她有名的酥皮
She's coming over to personally teach me how to make her famous crust.
要么是她要么是斯科特·亚当姆·祖姆
It was between her and a Scott Adams Zoom
他能教你怎么怨天尤人
where he teaches you how to be bitter.
你根本都不喜欢酥皮
You don't even like crust!
那只是因为我不知道怎么注入
Only because I don't know how to imbue it
自己的鲜味灵魂
with personal umami!
南希·斯沃顿可是个大人物科沃
Nancy Silverton's a big deal, Korvo.
她创立了莫扎旅店餐厅
She created Osteria Mozza.
她有主厨的餐厅一整集的专访
She's got a whole Chef's Table episode!
她把翁布里亚风味带到了梅尔罗斯
Girl brought Umbria to Melrose.
无所谓我对这个酥皮女人没任何兴趣
Whatever. I couldn't care less about this crusty woman.
你至少能表现出你关心这艘船吗
Can you at least pretend to care about the ship?
我关心
I do care!
事实上我想在爱莎的更新里加点东西
In fact, there's something I wanna add to AISHA's update.
真的吗我很开心能见到你这么主动
Really? I'd love to see you take some initiative.
更新吧
Update away.
访问中输入代码
Accessing. Entering code.
绕开代理人
Beep boop boop. Bypassing the proxy.
好了
And done.
重新计算预估时间
Recalculating estimate.
更新需要十四小时二十一天
Update will now take 14 hours and 21 days.
什么东西没有爱莎我们活不过二十一天
What the fuck? We can't survive without AISHA for 21 days.
她过滤空气监控所有中微子等级
She scrubs the air, monitors all the neutrino levels.
更新将在
Update protocol will commence in,
不知道就四十秒后开始吧
um, pssh, I don't know, like 40 seconds.
足够了
That's good enough.
等等不
Wait, no!
我们可以撤销倒计时
We can override the countdown.
从那一排射线里拿出撤销射线
Grab the override ray out of the array of rays.
什么
The what?
射线柜我们放所有射线的地方
The ray closet, where we keep all the rays!
我们经常用的
We use it all the time!
好好淡定我去拿
Okay, okay! Calm down, I'm on it.
帮帮忙
Aw, fuck! Help!
把射线排列整齐是你的工作
Damn it! It's your job to keep the ray arrays arranged!
我们为什么会有墨西哥卷射线
Why do we have a taco ray?
把那个蓝色的拿上
Grab the blue one over there
射向爱莎给我争取点时间
and shoot AISHA with it to buy me some time!
好
Got it.
科沃你在哪里
Korvo? Where are you?
我什么都看不见了
Ahh, I can't see anything!
天啊我又死了吗
Oh, God, am I dead again?
你用隐身光线射了我们
You shot us with the invisibility ray.
我们现在隐身了我们要找到爱莎在...
We're invisible! We have to get to AISHA before...
婊♥子♥们再见了
Bye, bitches!
爱莎爱莎
AISHA? AISHA?
我想在任何指责说出口之前
I just want to get ahead of any accusations
先说这是我们共同的错
and say this is both our faults.
操
Fuck!
失乐普星球曾是一个完美的乌托邦
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia,
可被小行星撞了个稀巴烂
until the asteroid hit.
一百多名成年人以及他们的复♥制♥人带着发配的蛹宝宝
One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa
逃向了... 外太空
and escaped into the... space,
奔走于杳无人迹的外星球只为寻找新的家园
searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.
我们迫降在地球
We crashed on Earth,
困在了这个本就人口过剩的星球上
stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.
没错我就是个不停叨叨的话唠
That's right, I've been talking this whole time.
那个抱着蛹宝宝的就是我
I'm the one holding the Pupa.
我叫科沃我是这剧的主人
My name is Korvo. This is my show.
蛹宝宝刚溜掉了
Bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.
简直荒诞无稽
Ugh. This is ridiculous.
我痛恨地球这简直是人间地狱啊
I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.
人们愚蠢又迷茫
People are stupid and confusing.
每个人都爱他们的手♥机♥ 但他们还没研究出来
Everyone loves their phones, but they haven't invented a thing
把意识转移到手♥机♥里的技术
that lets you transfer your consciousness into your phone
所以你的身体可以死去但你的灵魂得以永存
so that your body can die but your soul can live on
在别人的操作系统里被永远困住
trapped for eternity as someone else's operating system.
那才叫手♥机♥呢
Now that's a phone.
外星也难民
第四季第十集
我看不见了
Ah, I can't see!
你确定我们没被致盲光线射中
Are you sure we didn't get hit by the blinding ray?
我去年就把致盲光线扔了
I threw the blinding ray out last year
在我意识到直视太阳能用一半的钱
after I realized looking at the sun does the same thing
达到相同效果后就扔了
for half the price.
我们两个现在绝对都隐形了
We're definitely both invisible right now.
但我什么东西都看不见了
But I can't see a fucking thing.
所有东西都隐形了吗
Is everything invisible?
我们失乐普人眼中
The light-detecting roots and shmoots
感应光的器官隐形了
in our Shlorpian eyes are invisible,
所以光线会直接穿过它们
so the light's passing right through them
原来如此
Ah, I see.
我们的大脑接受不到任何消息
Our brains aren't receiving any information.
隐身让我们什么都看不见
Being invisible makes us blind.
现在爱莎又要关机那么久
And now AISHA's shut down for a long fucking time!
你加了什么重要的东西到她的系统里
What did you add to her system that was so important?
表情符号♥ - 表情符号♥
Emojis. - Emojis!
没人用那些了我们又不是青少年
Nobody uses those. We aren't teens!
我用我还很喜欢呢
I use them, and I like them!
它们又好玩又可爱
They're cute and fun!