外星也难民

飞船已经完全修好了
The ship is totally repaired!
我们终于可以离开这个粪坑星球
We can finally leave this shithole planet
找一个好让噗噗什洛普化的星球了
and find a good one that Pupa can terraform.
然后我们就能用存在低温运输箱中的种子
Then we can grow more Shlorpians
培育出更多的什洛普星人
from the seeds we have stored in the cryopods.
告辞了 地球垃圾们 好好享受融化的冰冠吧
So long, Earth suckers. Enjoy the melting ice caps.
我希望燃烧引擎是值得的
I hope the combustion engine was worth it.
再见 富氧环境 再见 小狗狗
Goodbye, oxygen-rich atmosphere. Goodbye, puppies.
再见 魔力红[乐队名]
Goodbye, Maroon 5!
我很高兴我们终于要去
I'm glad we're finally going
一个不存在类似"放屁后要说抱歉"
to a planet that doesn't have stupid rules,
这样愚蠢规则的星球了
like saying "Excuse me" After you fart.
你应该在放屁前就要说抱歉
You're supposed to say it before you fart.
这他妈糟透了
This fucking sucks!
如果我是领队的话
If I was team leader,
我们就会在哈利波特世界喝黄油啤酒到烂醉
we'd be getting butter-drunk at Harry P-Land
然后去配备上魔杖
and loading up on wands.
真可惜 你不是领队 所有人 系好安全带
Well, tough titties, you're not. Everyone, strap in.
我准备启动发射了
I'm going to activate the launch.
杰茜 那 那他妈是什么玩意
Jesse! What-- what the hell is that?
是橄榄夹心的MM豆
M&Ms with the olives inside.
-吃上去既油又酸 -把它们给我
- They're oily and sour. - Give me that!
每盎司的重量都很重要
Every ounce of weight matters!
像这么小的玩意就可能会让我们偏离航线
Something this small could set us off course
直接飞向太阳
and straight into the sun.
现在我们重回平衡了
We're back to equilibrium.
现在发射
Launching now.
成功了 等下
It's working! Wait.
我是极客小队的迈克尔
Geek Squad, Michael speaking.
我是外星人科尔沃 我想说 去你♥妈♥的♥ 迈克尔
This is Korvo the alien. I'm calling to say fuck you, Michael.
我的联想你已经修了好几个星期了
You've been working on my Lenovo for too many weeks now,
你可以把它塞到你肛♥门♥里了 迈克尔
and you can just shove it up your ass, Michael.
法官说你不可以再打来了
The Judge said you're weren't supposed to call here anymore.
去你♥妈♥的♥ 去你妈全队
Fuck you and fuck your whole squad,
我上过你妈
and I fucked your mom.
不
No! Hey!
不 不 别 别 别
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
不对 平衡被打破了
No, the balance was off.
某人口袋里是不小心装了一分钱
Did someone accidentally have a penny in their pocket
还是隐形眼镜或是一根羽毛
or a contact lens or a feather?
我可能在飞船上藏了点东西
I might have hidden some stuff on the ship.
重量超过一克了吗
Did it weigh more than a gram?
什么玩意 这么多包沙袋和保龄球
What the hell? Bags of sand, bowling balls,
还有刚果弹球机和够用一辈子的魔术彩蛋
Congo pinball machine, a lifetime supply of Silly Putty eggs?
你还要带上全季度的光盘版和刻录带版的《美国警♥察♥》
You needed to bring the entire series run of Cops on DVD and VHS!
我又不知道旅店会有什么样的播放器
I didn't know what kind of player the hotel would have.
根本就没有旅店 特里
There is no hotel! Terry,
你这个白♥痴♥ 那 那就是个空星球
you idiot! It's-- it's a empty planet.
这会让我们倒♥退♥到一年前
This puts us right back to where we were a year ago.
我的天呐 有什么大不了的 你这个屎球
Oh my God, make a bigger deal about it, ya poopy!
太好了 我们还是被困在了地球上
Yay! We're still trapped on Earth!
抱歉
Excuse me.
什洛普星曾是个完美的乌托邦
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.
直到被小行星撞上
Until the asteroid hit.
一百个成人以及他们的复♥制♥人分到了一只噗噗
One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa
逃往了太空
and escaped into, uh, the space,
在杳无人迹的世界里寻找新家
searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.
我们坠落在地球上
We crashed on Earth,
困在了一个已经人口过密的星球
stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.
是的 我一直在说这个
That's right, I've been talking this whole time.
抱着噗噗的人是我 我叫科尔沃
I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo.
这是我的节目
This is-- this is my show.
我的噗噗掉了 你看到我了吗
I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?
这太荒唐了
This is ridiculous.
我讨厌地球 这是个糟糕的家园
I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.
人类笨死了 他们一直都很口渴
People are stupid. They're always thirsty.
但是他们并不会喝他们自己的尿 我不明白
But they don't drink their own piss, I don't get it.
喝你们自己的尿不就行了
Just drink your own piss.
外星也难民
第二季第一集
真棒 他们把《继承之战》麦片做成各式各样的
Oh yeah, they're making Succession cereal with all the shapes:
罗曼 罗根 还有紫色希夫[均为剧中人物]
Romans, Logans, and Purple Shivs!
自动驾驶系统完全坏掉了
The autopilot's completely destroyed.
我们得要重建整个驾驶系统
We're going to have to re-pilot the whole thing.
为什么痛苦检测仪会在冰箱里
What is the distress detector doing in the freezer?
因为它一直不停哔哔响 要把我逼疯了
Oh, it wouldn't stop beeping. It was driving me nuts.
它只有在收到什洛普星人的求救信♥号♥♥时才会哔哔响
It only beeps when it receives a Shlorpian distress call!
这意味着在这个象限的某处
That means there's aliens from the home world
有来自家乡的外星人
somewhere in this quadrant!
这东西哔哔多久了
How long has this been beeping?
一年了 或许 一年半了
A year? Or a year and a half, maybe?
该死 特里 好吧 过来 我们得去帮他们
Damn it, Terry! All right, come on, we have to help them!
他们可能在伽玛象限内
They're probably on an M-class planet
某处的一个M级星球
somewhere in the Gamma sector.
什么情况 他们就在地球上
What the hell, they're on Earth!
看来外星难民们要去一趟伦敦了
Looks like the Solar Opposites are going to London!
真不敢相信我们可以使用浮空平台
I can't believe we get to use the hover platform.
我以为这只能用一次
I thought that was a one-time thing.
外星难民们正在飞往伦敦
The Solar Opposites are hovering to London!
你能别再说了吗 那到底是什么意思
Would you stop saying that. W-what does that even mean?
我觉得我们可以被称为"外星难民"
Well, I just think we should be called "The Solar Opposites."
不 那太蠢了
No, that's stupid.
等下 雅姆莱克和噗噗去哪了
Wait, where's Yumyulack and the Pupa?
该死 为什么我们在这事上还是这么垃圾
Damn it! How are we still so bad at this?
看管噗噗是你工作的全部内容了 特里
Watching the Pupa is your whole job, Terry.
别担心 我肯定雅姆莱克会把噗噗保护得很安全
Don't worry, I'm sure Yumyulack's keeping him real safe.
能有什么事呢
What could go wrong?
只要他不让噗噗又去看《机械战警》就好
I guess as long as he doesn't let the Pupa watch Robocop again,
那就 没事的
it'll-- it'll be fine.
你必须得跟我走 不论死活
Dead or alive, you're coming with me!
吸我的奶♥子♥去吧 机械战警
Suck my shitty tits, Robocop!
杰登 艾登 布雷登 你们还是像去年一样酷
Jaeden, Aaden, Braden. Still as cool as last year, I see.
没错 但是我们的内部政策有所改变
We are, but our internal politics have shifted.
今年 杰登是我们的头 我被降级了
This year, Jaeden is our leader. I was demoted.
我家大人们都不在城里
You know, my adults are out of town.
如果你们想来我家玩 我们可以喝个烂醉
If you guys want to hang at my place, we could drink too much
也许会影响到我们能活过六十五岁的可能
and maybe hurt our chances of living past 65.
一个女巫说过我二十五岁的时候会死 所以我加入
A witch said I'm gonna die at 25 anyway, so I guess I'm down.
安静 你的头要说话了
Silence. Your alpha speaks.
雅姆莱克 举办一场外宿派对挺酷的
Yumyulack, it'd be cool to throw a sleepover party.
我下令所有的酷小孩都来参加
I decree that all cool kids will attend.
但是我以为你讨厌我
But I thought you hated me?
欺负你是艾登纪♥元♥的一项政策
Dunking on you was a policy of the Aaden era.
从那以后 我们都参加了基♥督♥教夏令营
Since then, we all went to Christian summer camp
并意识到有包容心很酷
and realized it's cool to be inclusive.
那是克里斯汀·史莱特的排球夏令营
It was Christian Slater's volleyball camp.
这将是今年最酷的派对
This'll be the coolest party of the year!
外星难民们到达伦敦
The Solar Opposites have made it to London!
好了 闭嘴 跟紧我
All right, shut up, follow me.
所以现在他叫我们"外星难民"吗
Oh, so now he's calling us "The Solar Opposites"?
我等不及要见到这些新外星人了
Oh, I cannot wait to meet these new aliens.
你说他们有没有在学习氢阳离子水平
Do you think they've been studying hydron levels
或者平流层微粒
or stratospheric particulates?
两个都好酷 好难选 但愿他们都学了
Wow, both sound so cool, it's hard to pick. Hopefully both?
老天 那简直太棒了
Oh my god, that would be amazing.
奇怪了
That's odd.
不知为什么 他们似乎住在下水道里
Apparently, they live in the sewer for some reason.
我去 看看这艘飞船 真不错
Damn, look at that ship. It's... nice.
有人吗 是否有人遇险
Hello? Is anyone here in distress?
你们在干什么 给我进来
What are you doing? Get in here!
我们在追踪一个求救信♥号♥♥
Uh, we were following a distress call?