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我们合作吧
Works for me!
提醒你一下 车程有点长
Just gonna warn you. It's kind of a long drive.
你知道科沃和我在拉斯维加斯勾搭上了吗
So you know Korvo and I hooked up in Vegas?
你一定想知道 我是怎么做到的
I bet you're wondering how I did it,
因为科尔沃没有屁♥股♥ 我也没有老二
since Korvo doesn't have a butt and I don't have a dick.
没关系 我不需要知道
Nah, it's okay, I don't need to know.
我在他屁♥股♥上挖了个小洞
I dug a little hole out of his butt
用洗发水瓶做阴♥茎♥
and used a shampoo bottle as a phallus.
它一直在掉 - 让我们听一听
It kept falling off. - Let's just listen
乱七八糟的音乐 好吧
to some random-ass music, huh?
该死的 好吧
Oh, god damn it, fine.
我为自己的生活方式感到后悔
I regret the way I lived my life.
我骗自己说自己很强大
I lie to myself about being powerful,
但我又毒舌又霸道
but I'm just toxic and bossy,
正因为如此 我很孤独
and because of that, I'm alone.
你可以看到我有多难过
You can see how unhappy I am.
我是那个
I hate being the executive
决定埃克森美孚应该更关心利润而不是人的高管
who decided Exxon Mobil should care more
我讨厌自己
about profits than people.
对 就是我
Yeah, that was me!
也是我让胰岛素变得如此昂贵
I was also the one who made insulin cost so much,
虽然它基本上是免费制♥作♥的
though it's basically free to make.
我是人♥渣♥
I'm scum.
我是败类
I'm scum.
布兰迪小姐 发生了什么可怕的事情吗
Miss Brandy? Did something terrible happen?
这几天你没给我发任何种族歧视的短♥信♥
You haven't texted me anything racist in the last few days.
埃利斯 哦 埃利斯
Alice! Oh, Alice!
我会为你的癌症实验治疗买♥♥单
I'll pay for your experimental cancer treatments.
我会帮你拯救 我用输油管摧毁的村庄
I'll help save your village that I destroyed with that pipeline!
我想成为一个更好的人
I want to be a better person,
而这都要归功于这个奇怪的生物...
and it's all thanks to this strange creature that...
也许它从未真正存在过
Maybe he was never really there.
从头到尾 都是我的良心在作怪
Oh! That whole time, it was my conscience.
我只是产生了幻觉
I was just hallucinating!
感觉怎么样
Oh! Is that good?
我不知道 但我现在很好
I don't know, but I'm nice now!
我给所有航♥空♥公♥司♥打电♥话♥
I'm calling all the airlines
让飞机座位都变得更大
and making every plane seat bigger!
我还以为会更像莉顿梅斯特的作品呢
Huh, I thought this would be more like Leighton Meester's
莉顿梅斯特的邻居海洋生物
Meester Rogers' Neighborhood For Sea Creatures
和丢弃它们的地方
and Where To Dump Them.
天哪 这些动物救援名人的名字
Geez, these celeb animal rescue names
真是让人汗颜
are getting pretty sweaty.
天啊 发生了什么
Oh, no! What's happening?
希望我的虫子没有再开杀戒
I hope my goobler didn't do a murder on anyone else!
天啊 不要
Oh, shit, yeah, no,
这绝对是一种压抑愤怒的虫子
that's definitely an anger repression goobler.
她会把其他人都吃掉 你留到最后
She's gonna consume everyone else and save you for last.
这就是他们的工作
That's what they do.
但我没有压抑 也没有愤怒 我很快乐
But I'm not repressed or angry. I'm happy!
在我们都死之前 你必须承认你有问题
You need to admit you've got a problem before we all die!
但我没有问题 肯定还有别的办法
But I don't have a problem! There has to be another way.
我想我可以试着和她谈谈 虫子之交
I guess I can try talking to her, goobler to goobler,
用我们的方式
using goobler speak.
疙瘩 疙瘩疙瘩疙瘩
Gooble. Gooble goo goo gooble goo!
疙瘩 疙瘩疙瘩疙瘩
Gooble goo goo gooble booble goo!
等等 我来了
Hold on! I'm coming!
杰西 靠你了
Jesse, it's up to you,
内心深处 你知道你在生谁的气
deep down you know who you're angry at!
大家好
Uh, hello, everybody.
杰西卡 你的虫子吃了我们
Jessica, your stupid goobler ate us,
现在你又把红虫子扯进来了
and now you brought the Red Goobler into it!
去死吧 - 去死吧 你这个粗鲁的家伙
Get fucked! - You get fucked, you rude shit!
这都是你的错 你怎么这么差劲
This is all your fault! Why do you suck so much?
科沃 闭嘴... 闭嘴...
Korvo, shut... shut...
骂他 杰西 发泄出来
Get him, Jesse! Let it out!
闭上你的臭嘴 科沃
Shut your filthy mouth, Korvo!
你在这里都是你自己的错
It's your fault you're in here!
如果你不是一直对我很刻薄的话
If you weren't being mean to me all the time,
我一开始就不会有虫子
I wouldn't have a fudgin' goobler in the first place.
因为我从不还手 你变成了一个恶霸
You've turned into a bully because I never fight back,
但现在都变了
but that changes now!
我不是恶霸 别想拿我开涮
I'm not a bully, don't try and turn this on me!
我还没说完
I'm not done!
你总是对我粗鲁 自私 刻薄
You're rude, selfish, and mean to me all the time!
但你只是讨厌自己 我们都知道这一点
But you just hate yourself, and we all know it!
你不喜欢我吗
You don't like me?
当然 我不喜欢你
No, I don't. I don't like you.
你烂透了
You suck.
我在家里做的一切 你从来都不领情
You never appreciate all the work I do around the house,
我和你一点情分都没有
and I never get a story with you ever!
好吧杰西卡 如果你冷静下来 我们可以培养
Fine, Jessica, we can have a story if you calm down.
别再叫我杰西卡了 我叫杰西
Stop calling me Jessica! My name is Jesse!
我们自♥由♥了
We're free!
我的虫子也没事
And my goobler's okay.
哦是的 宝贝 这才是好东西
Oh, yeah, baby, that's the good stuff.
杰西 表达出你的愤怒
Jesse, your anger.
会让虫子爆♥炸♥
Expressing it made your goobler explode.
是啊 如果你真的长大了 就会出现这种情况
Yeah, that's what happens if you actually show real growth.
那你为什么还在这里
Then why are you still around?
因为你是个近视眼 压力过大的废物
Because you're a myopic, stressed-out piece of shit.
没错
Right.
我意识到 如果你忍♥气吞声
I realized that if you swallow your anger,
会要了你的命
it will kill you.
所以我让她吞了我 然后我杀了她
So I let her swallow me and I killed her.
等等 你不是真的生我的气吧
Wait, so you're not actually angry with me?
哦 我生气了 科沃 去死吧
Oh, I'm angry. Korvo, get fucked!
我真为你感到骄傲
I'm so proud of you!
谢谢帮助 克里斯
Thanks for the help, Chris.
没有你的专业知识 我永远无法
I never could have channeled my rage at Korvo
发泄出我对科沃的愤怒
without your expertise.
正如虫子国王所说 疙瘩疙瘩疙
As the King Goobler says, oobie goobie goo!
他是说虫子国王吗 这他妈是什么
Did he say King Goobler? What the fuck is that?
看来我所有的朋友都喜欢和你一起工作
Looks like all my goobies love working with you.
你知道吗 今天杰西教会了我要忠于自己的感情
You know, today Jesse taught me to be true to my feelings.
你现在安全了
You're safe now,
但我会追捕你 杀了你
but I will hunt you down and I will kill you.
别威胁我
Don't you threaten me.
我已经做了 你这个贱♥人♥
I already did, you big bitch.
哦是吗 你猜怎么着 你永远杀不了我
Oh, yeah? Well, guess what? You'll never kill me.
我太快太聪明了
I'm too fast and too smart.
轮到我说了
And it's my turn to say,
去死吧
get fucked!
我的腿 天啊 真♥他♥妈♥疼
My leg! Oh, Jesus Christ, it fucking hurts!
救命
Help!
我的腿被锯齿状的玻璃刺伤了
I stabbed my leg on the jagged glass.
我能感觉到它在刮我的身体 而不是骨头
I can feel it scraping the thing I have instead of a bone!
他妈的 他流了很多血
Holy fuck, he's losing a lot of blood.
我们应该让他下来吗 - 当然 当然要
Should we get him down? - Yes! Of course, we should!
等下就去
In a minute.
蛹宝宝 有什么发现
Oh. Hey, Pupa, what you got?
我想成为一个更好的人
I wanna be a better person!
妈的 蛹宝宝 你成功了
Shit, Pupes! You did it!
你为人类做了一件好事 而不是为了糖果耍花招
You did something good for humanity instead of scheming for candy!
等等 你已经有三百万订阅者了
Hold on, you already have three million subscribers
还有星爆糖赞助
and a Starburst sponsorship?
科沃: 嗷 好疼
KORVO: Ow, ow! It hurts!
蛹宝宝 回来
Pupa, get back here!
你怎么把这变成了对我混♥蛋♥的公♥投♥
How did you turn this into a referendum on me being a dick?
这是杰西的故事 为什么要惩罚我
This was a Jesse story! Why am I being punished?
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