外星也难民

Solar Opposites S04E01

Part 2 Sept. 18, 2023, 3:32 p.m.

萨纳先生开始怀疑我对耙子不感兴趣了
Mr. Sarner's starting to suspect I'm not in it for the rakes.
萨纳就是个蠢货
Man, Sarner is such a dick brain.
你比他更适合当老板
You'd be a way better boss than him.
当然
Yeah, no duh.
那笨蛋该庆幸我现在很他妈的普通
That fool's lucky I'm being normal AFF,
不然我早上位了
or I'd have usurped his ass already.
对篡他的位科沃
Yeah, usurp that shit, Korvo.
哇 - 对兄弟
Whoa! - Yeah, buddy.
小家伙 - 嘿
Little Buddy. - Oh. Hey.
你看到了吗
Damn, you see that?
小家伙和蛹宝宝的关系真♥他♥妈♥的冷淡
Little Buddy and Pupa were cold AF to each other.
真对不起我老是在说"他妈的"
I'm, I'm sorry, I'm using "AF" way too much.
戒不掉了
I kinda can't quit.
他们肯定吵架了 - 他妈的
They must've had a falling out. - AF.
也许那个臭小子马上就要搬走了
Oh, maybe that little fucker will move out soon.
但愿如此
I sure as shit hope so.
刚见面时我以为
When we met him, I thought he'd be like
他重回这里跟我们一样
this whole reoccurring thing,
但现在看来他应该是被抛弃了
but now he just feels like a remnant.
我的天你们怎么手挽手一起走
Oh, my lord, why the fuck are you walking arm-in-arm?
你俩在约会吗
Are you, like, dating?
不她跟我属于同一个复♥制♥体
No, she's my co-replicant.
他们就是在约会真恶心
They're totally dating, gross.
就像那部《老男孩》
They're like Oldboy.
注: 美国斯派克·李执导的惊悚电影
不我们只是利用手肘处的营养吸收触手
Na-uh, we're just using nutrient parts
完成信息共享你们看
in our elbows to exchange information. Look.
谁家好姐姐跟弟弟共享果汁啊
You're not supposed to exchange juices with your brother.
这很正常
This is totally normal.
认真的吗明明就很畸形
As if. It's fucking freaky.
手肘炮♥友♥
Elbow fuckers!
朋友们快看
Look, everyone.
他们用手肘做♥爱♥
They fuck elbows.
他们用手肘做♥爱♥ - 伙计
They fuck elbows, everybody. - Ah, man,
我不知道原来我们是如此奇怪的人
I didn't know we were weird.
这段时间我们别在公众场合传数据了
Maybe we should stop porting in public for a while.
不对我们需要彻底分开
No, we need to stop hanging out entirely.
我们就像辐射物质
We're radioactive right now.
"手肘炮♥友♥"这个称号♥肯定会不胫而走
This "elbow fucker" thing's got legs. I can tell.
有道理
It does have a ring to it.
但我们还是可以一起玩吧
But we could still hang out, right?
洋洋乐
Yum?
哎呀
Ah geez.
又要我重置密♥码♥
Reset my email password again?
密♥码♥错误请重置
我才不干这种傻事
No, I'm not doing it.
没人能猜到密♥码♥是
Nobody's going to guess
"国家空格讽刺空格货车密♥码♥69"
"National dash Lampoons dash VanPassword69."
我真受不了珍妮丝
Janice is driving me crazy.
她已经整整两周每天给我讲同一个笑话了
She's told me the same joke every day for two weeks.
你懂吗就那种又长又臭又不好笑的笑话
Ugh, it's like one of those long, elaborate non-joke jokes,
就跟玛利亚·本福德的幽默一样
like the humor of Maria Bamford.
注: 一名美国演员
每次结束的话题都是她哭诉一年前
And it always ends with her crying about her husband
自己的丈夫被车撞死
getting hit by a car a year ago.
泰里这不好笑
Terry, I don't think that's a joke.
我也是这么说的
That's what I'm saying.
每次她抱起结婚照
I'm sick of forcing out a fake laugh
我都得努力假笑真的烦
every time she cradles a wedding photo.
让我很不舒服这太无趣了
It's uncomfortable. It's not even funny.
我们去咖啡豆那里吧来点纯黑
Let's take a walk to the Coffee Bean and get you a flat black.
能让你冷静一下
That always calms you down.
别再嘀嘀咕咕了珍妮丝
Enough with the bits, Janice!
你又不是玛利亚·本福德
You're not Maria Bamford!
杰西要我给你掰一块橡子酱饼干吃吗
Jesse, you want us to break you off a piece
我们正准备分享
of this acorn butter cracker that we're all sharing?
当然给我来一块
Sure, I'll take a shard.
谢谢你们让我跟你们坐在一起
Hey, thanks for letting me sit with you.
听说你跟你弟弟绝交了
We heard you stopped hanging out with your little brother.
远离家人真的超级酷
Betraying family is, like, mega cool.
之前你俩互相插♥进♥对方的手肘真的很诡异
That was weird when you guys used to jizz into each other's elbows.
我不会再和洋洋乐那样做了
Well, Yumyulack and I don't do that anymore,
不会再跟他说话不会每时每刻想着对方
or talk or think about each other every second of the day.
我很确定
That's for sure.
能搞自己的弟弟那可是天下第一美事
There's nothing better than fucking with your little brother.
好吧
Oh, okay.
我根本没意识到这件事
I didn't know that was a thing that was done.
说起来
Oh yeah.
我放了个运动相机在十加仑帽里
I put a GoPro in a 10-gallon hat and live-streamed
直播我弟康纳拉直阴毛的全过程
my little brother Conner straightening his pubes.
他已经被毁了
It fucking ruined him.
只能跟奶奶搬去瑞典住
He had to move in with Gramgram in Sweden.
有点过分但你让我了解到
That feels a tad harsh, but I am still learning
正常的姐弟关系是什么样子的
what a normal sibling relationship looks like.
大概就是将一克冰♥毒♥
It looks like hiding a gram of crystal meth
藏在我弟的寄物柜
in my brother's locker.
他现在在监狱上学
He goes to school in jail now.
你打算怎么搞洋洋乐
So how are you gonna fuck with Yumyulack?
不知道酒吧里应该很嗨吧
I don't know. The bar seems really high.
天呐你该在"海上"舞会搞起来
Oh, my God, you should do it at the Above the Sea dance.
太对了
Fuck yeah.
要在他新朋友面前狠狠地羞辱他的老二
Humiliate that chode in front of all of his new friends.
前提是他有那玩意
If he even has any.
说得好杰西
Good one, Jesse.
我感觉找到了归属真开心
I'm so glad I found my tribe.
教师休息室
这里的氛围一直如此吗
Is this the normal vibe in here?
没错我们大多是老烟枪
Yeah, we mostly chain smoke,
数着日子等着领退休金
count down the days until our pension kicks in,
还会打趣那些笨蛋学生
and do impressions of the dumber students.
"我是格雷戈·西蒙斯
"Dur, I'm Greg Simmons.
上课看《罗密欧与朱丽叶》时
I shot a load in my pants
我在裤子里射了一发"
watching Romeo and Juliet in class."
最后一节课我们打算重演《奔腾年代》
For last period, we're just gonna put on Seabiscuit
注: 一部美国历史运动剧情电影
离开课堂前往"感谢之岛"
and duck out to Islands for Mahalo Hour.
太好了朋友们
Hell yeah, dawg.
最后一个到的要给我买♥♥大杯长岛冰茶
Last one there buys me a Big Island Ice Tea.
我爱球形冰你在干什么
Mm, I do love pebble ice. What are you doing?
我在尽可能延后
I'm making it take as long as possible
回办公室的时间
to get back to the office.
我真的太讨厌那里了科沃
That's how much I hate it there, Korvo.
我宁可待在电梯
I'd rather be in the elevator.
也许我们都该承认上班就是无聊的
I guess we just have to accept the fact that work is boring.
你只能接受
There's absolutely no way around it.
认输吧
Suck it.
请帮帮忙
Hey, a little help.
这是什么
Whoa, what is that?
是乒乓球
It's ping pong.
乒乒球
Ping ping.
这里是工作的地方吗
And this is a place of business?
对我们是超越床浴公♥司♥的客服中心人员
Oh yeah. We're a call center for Bed, Bath, and Beyond.
听起来像是最他妈无聊的工作
Oof, that sounds like the most boring AF job there is.
曾经是但后来老板给我们买♥♥了这张桌子
Used to be, until our boss bought us this sweet-ass table.
老板给你们买♥♥的吗
Your boss got this for you?
乒乒球桌是办公室办公用品的一部分吗
The ping ping table is an official part of the office?
对的是工作规定
Oh yeah, this job rules.
乒乒球 - 乒乒球
Ping ping! - Ping ping!
问题是... - 放下电♥话♥
Look, the fact is... - Get off the phone.
我和泰里找到了解决问题的好办法
Terry and I have found a way to solve our problems.
什么问题
What problems?
只需要你配合完成一件十分重要的事
We just need one super-important thing from you.
鼓声起