外星也难民

Solar Opposites S04E03

Part 2 Sept. 18, 2023, 3:32 p.m.

懂了吗不只是朋友去吧
Get it? More than friends. Like, doing it.
爱爱嘛我懂的
The fuck? Yeah, I got it.
我们已经聊了几个月了
We've been talkin' for months,
但我不知道我是否准备好了
but I don't know if I'm ready
在现实里去见他一面
to meet him in real life.
爱莎交男朋友了爱莎交男朋友了
AISHA got a boyfriend! AISHA got a boyfriend!
闭嘴啦我没有
Shut up! I do not.
很奇怪我们计划三月去五大湖玩
It's weird. We have plans to go on a Great Lakes Cruise in March,
但不包括密西根湖素壁利亚湖和休伦湖
which doesn't include Lakes Michigan, Superior, or Huron.
那是我们第一次约会
That was gonna be our first time meeting.
他可能就是想检查一下货物是吧
He probably just wants to check out the goods, you know?
我在想你该穿什么呢
I wonder what you should wear.
你知道我什么意思嘛
You know what this means?
你最好他妈不要说...
Don't you dare fuckin' say
服装蒙太奇
Outfit montage!
♪ 舞动起来 ♪
♪ Get your body movin',get your body, body ♪
♪ 舞动起来 ♪
♪ Get your body movin',get your, get ♪
完美
Perfecto!
我要求你告诉我你们在聊啥
I demand to know what you're talking about
即使我可能根本不在乎
even though I probably won't give a shit.
爱莎的相好要来镇上啦
AISHA's boy toy's comin' to town
玩点花的床上小游戏
for a little roll in the sheets, some hanky-panky,
魔杖要开启神秘洞穴咯
puttin' the wand in the chamber of secrets,
想要就来嘛
if you're buyin' what I'm sellin'.
噢噢我这就来
Oh-ho, I'm buying.
爱莎他知道你是个超级计算机吗
AISHA, does he know you're a super computer?
知道啊他不介意 - 真的吗
Yeah, he's cool with it. - Really?
他只是一个普通的蠢蛋
'Cause he's, like, a regular schmo
但你可是超牛逼的AI
and you're a badass AI bitch.
这没道理
It'll never work.
对啊如果我们互相看不惯怎么办呀
Oh, yeah. What if we're not compatible?
也许我应该3D打印一个真人
Maybe I should 3D print myself into a real person,
那种有大腿肥臀的形象
with legs and a fat ass.
没必要他会爱上你本来的样子的
No way. He's gonna love you for you.
告诉他洋洋乐
Tell her, Yumyulack.
他在美化你
He's catfishing you.
他很有可能就只是想
He probably just wants you
让你帮他算算哪个车险划算或者别的什么
to calculate better car insurance for him or something.
别听他的他真膈应
Don't listen to him, he's bitter.
我可太膈应了
I'm super bitter!
泰里把苹果电脑和芝士烧得厨房♥里到处都是
Terry burned mac and cheese, and it's all over the kitchen!
这很不容易的好吧
It's hard, okay?
你得精确地知道什么时候
You have to know exactly when the cheese gets unstuck
芝士才能从天花板上融化
from the ceiling and falls
掉到一桶沸腾的鹅油里面
into the vat of boiling goose fat.
只要用一下我给你们打造的清理机器人就行了
Just use the cleaning robot I built for you guys.
它坏了科沃还想让我去清理烂摊子
It's broken and Korvo wants me to mop up the mess!
我拖地我这样的混♥蛋♥可不会拖地
Me? Mopping? This hardcunt don't mop!
也许我不该去见凯尔文
Maybe I shouldn't go meet Calvin.
这里有太多事情要处理了
There's a lot goin' on here.
你得去
You're going.
各位爱莎有一场浪漫约会
Guys, AISHA has a hot date.
我们还是能够照顾好自己几个小时的对吧
We can take care of ourselves for a couple hours, right?
是啊你你应该去
Yes, y-you should go.
我可以用一些多出来的飞船和擎天柱零件
I can probably build a new cleaning robot
造一个新的清洁机器人
out of some spare ship parts and old Optimus Prime.
那这里就搞定啦耶
Then it's settled. Yay!
玩得开心爱莎无所顾忌地起舞吧
Have fun, AISHA. Dance like nobody's watching!
就是小心别被骗了
Just watch out for the catfish.
我在大凤♥凰♥区有好几个女友
I've had multiple girlfriends
都是在试着
in the greater Phoenix area who were just trying
诈骗我收集的魔法卡片
to grift me out of my Magic: The Gathering cards.
其中一个拿走了我的黑莲花
One of them got my Black Lotus.
啊 - 噢
Oof! - Ouch!
啊神明
Oh, divine one,
请保佑我能迎来果实的大丰收
please bless me with a bountiful Craisin harvest
这样我就能在你的蝴蝶结下
so that I may feed my brothers and sisters
养育我的兄弟姐妹门了
under your bow!
搞什么
What the hell?
不不不
No, no, no.
这些数据不可能是真的
These numbers, they can't be right.
我的杰西老天啊墙里变得更冷了
Oh, my Jesse! It's getting colder in the Wall!
啊太蠢了我在这里干啥啊
Okay, this is stupid. What am I doin' here?
我应该造点腿出来的
I should have made some legs.
爱莎我们遇到问题了
AISHA, we got a problem.
我造了一个过于聪明的清洁机器人
I made the cleaning robot too smart,
它有点过于敏感了
and it's gained fucking sentience
我十分肯定能它想要杀了我们
and I'm pretty sure it's trying to kill us.
而且泰里已经受机器人控制了
Plus, Terry's already under the robot's spell
他在帮他打手♥枪♥
and is helping him!
他这个飞机仔
He's such a wanker!
一切正常没人想杀我们
Everything's fine. No one is killing anyone.
哈哈哈哈
Ha-ha, ha-ha.
爱莎别管他们了我们挺好怎么样了
Aishe, ignore them, we're fine. How's it going?
我想要看所有的细节
I want all the juicy deets!
嘿把凯尔文的身份证偷过来
Yo, steal Calvin's ID.
我们可以私底下调查他的背景
We can do a background check on the creepo!
爱莎你看起来真美
AISHA? You look beautiful.
我是说你的身材比
I-I mean, a little more
我想的还要更L形一点
L-shaped than I thought you'd be,
但是很赞
but god damn.
你说什么
What's that?
你说你只是一个滑板车
You mean to tell me you're just a scooter
并不是什么超级计算机
and not a super computer,
现在我看起来完全像个傻瓜
and now I look like a total idiot?
哈哈很有趣过来嘛
Ha ha, very funny. Get over here.
对不起我的错有点紧张
Sorry, my bad. A little nervous.
我承认这是个愚蠢的笑话
I got to admit. It's a stupid joke.
我喜欢很高兴终于见到你了凯尔文
I liked it. It's nice to finally meet you, Calvin.
我也是
You too!
我想了想既然我来镇上了
I figured, since I was in town,
为什么不见见我聊得最好的朋友呢
why not see my best Words with Friend?
我很高兴你来了我们要做点什么呢
I'm glad you did! What should we do?
在无用美术馆里
There's a Super Smash Bros.
有一场任天堂大乱斗混战的展览
Melee exhibit at the Museum of Useless Art.
或者去我的外星之家他们有成吨♥的海♥洛♥因♥
Or my aliens have a ton of heroin just sittin' around the house?
只要跟你在一起我不在乎做什么
I don't care what we do, as long as I'm with you.
还有别碰海♥洛♥因♥了
Also, let's not do the heroin thing.
那玩意让你的血液很不舒服
That stuff'll make your blood itch.
纪念品来拥有你的杰西纪念品吧
Souvenirs! Get your Jesse souvenirs here!
我们有头戴蝴蝶结款的祈祷雕像
We got Bow-sary beads, we got prayer statues!
杰瑞杰瑞墙内正在发生很糟糕的事情
Jerry! Jerry, something terrible is happening to the Wall!
噢我的蝴蝶结是那些坏面的异教♥徒♥要来
Oh, my bow, are the heathens from the bad side comin' over
一边唱着Lady Gaga
to stick their penises
一边把鸡♥巴♥塞到我们耳朵里吗
in our ears and sing Lady Gaga?
不是...
No, it's...
等等你认为异教♥徒♥会做那些是吗
Wait, is that what you think the heathens do?
我只是听说他们很疯狂
I've heard they're crazy.
他们还想把舌头塞到我们屁♥股♥里面
They also want to shove their tongues in our butts
再拔我们的头发
and pull our hair!
异教♥徒♥才不会做那些而且...
Heathens don't do that and...
听着你要是对这些很不安
Listen, I can't tell if you're terrified
或者很兴奋我就没法跟你交流了
or excited about this.
我为什么要因为有人边唱坏浪漫
Why would I be excited about having a tongue
美国女歌♥手Lady Gaga演唱的一首流行舞曲
边把舌头塞在我屁♥眼♥里感到很兴奋
in my butt while they sing Bad Romance?
那可能一点都不爽
That probably doesn't feel amazing at all!
算了听着我是来告诉你
Whatever.Look, I came to tell you
墙内的温度正在每天下降四分之一度
that the Wall is getting a quarter degree colder every day!
所以异教♥徒♥不会来
So the heathens aren't coming over
用鸡♥巴♥插♥我♥们的耳朵了吗