外星也难民

该死 破玩意儿 拜托给力点
Damn it. Stupid thing, come on.
打造那地球钻孔机 科尔沃 秀出你的蓝色双臂
Ooh, build that Earth drill, Korvo. Work those blue arms.
别用你的眼睛给我脱衣 黛比
Stop undressing me with your eyes, Debbie.
我只想安心工作
I just want to work out here in peace.
我不是供你发♥骚♥的
I'm not out here for your sexual titillation.
复♥制♥人错过了公车 你能送他们去学校吗
Hey, the replicants missed the bus. Can you take them to school?
-我有事 -我们没错过
- I got stuff to do. - We didn't miss it.
-他们故意开过了我们家 -肯定是意外
- They purposely skipped our house. - I'm sure it was an accident.
那公车司机讨厌我们
The bus driver hates us
因为我试图获得她眼睛的一个小样本
because I tried to harvest one small tiny sample of her eye.
能出发了吗
Can we please go?
我要在指导教室里决定今天我要爱上谁
Homeroom is where I decide who I'm going to crush on for the day.
-不行 我很忙 -拜托 科尔沃 别这样
- No, I'm busy. - Oh, come on, Korvo. Don't be like that.
你该帮我建造地球钻孔机
You should be helping me construct the Earth drill.
我得送噗噗去狗狗公园
I have to take the Pupa to the dog park.
我们不想错过拉布拉多犬
We don't wanna miss the labradoodles.
狗狗公园比采矿镍合金更重要吗
Oh, oh, is the dog park more important than mining nickel alloys
没有它们就没法修好我们的宇宙飞船
so we can repair our spaceship?
我不知道 科尔沃
Uh, I don't know, Korvo.
镍合金能在空中接到飞盘吗
Can nickel alloy catch a Frisbee in the air?
有了我们才能知道
We won't know until we get some.
有时我感觉我是唯一
You know, sometimes it feels like I'm the only Shlorpion
想要逃离这破星球的什洛普人
who wants to escape this garbage planet.
是你选择在这降落的
Hey, hey, you're the one who chose to land here.
我的扫描仪没有显示这里是个人类猖獗的破地方
My scans didn't indicate it was a human-infested crap hole
没有丝毫可取价值 特里
without a single redeeming value, Terry.
我们被困在这里一年了
We have been stranded here for a year.
难道你一点不发愁吗
How is that not a problem for you?
拜托 到我这里来
Come on, all right. Come to papo.
不 不 不要啊
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
各位 狗狗公园里发生了枪击
Oh, you guys, there was a shooting at the dog park,
但你永远猜不到
but you would never know
因为这些狗太开心了
'cause these dogs are just so happy, aren't they?
你们喜欢那些残肢吗 要舔吗
Yeah, you like those little stumps? You gonna lick 'em?
什洛普星曾是个完美的乌托邦
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.
直到被小行星撞上
Until the asteroid hit.
一百个成人以及他们的复♥制♥人分到了一只噗噗
One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa
逃往了太空
and escaped into, uh, the space,
在杳无人迹的世界里寻找新家
searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.
我们坠落在地球上 困在了一个已经人口过密的星球
We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.
是的 我一直在说这个
That's right, I've been talking this whole time.
抱着噗噗的人是我 我叫科尔沃
I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo.
这是我的节目 我的噗噗掉了 你看到我了吗
This is-this is my show. I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?
这太荒唐了
This is ridiculous.
我讨厌地球 这是个糟糕的家园
I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.
总有一天 我要把它炸了
And one of these days, I'm gonna blow it up
一了百了 我发誓
and just be done with the whole stupid thing, I swear to God.
外星也难民
第一季 第一集
看看那些可爱的小脚
Oh, look at those cute little feet.
真的长出来了 瞧瞧它们
They're really growing in. Look at 'em go!
-别看 -我计划好了一整天的行程
- Don't look at them. - I have the whole day planned out.
我们要去买♥♥彩票 我们会中一百万
We're gonna go buy lottery tickets, we're gonna win a million dollars,
然后 我们会奖金全部当成小费给一个女服务员
but then, we give it all as a tip to a waitress
彻底改变她的生活
and totally change her life.
加油 女友 给自己买♥♥双新鞋
You go, girlfriend. Buy yourself a new pair of shoes.
我的计划是坐在暗光下 在我的残肢上喷洒营养物
My plan is to sit in dim light, spray nutrients on my stumps,
在它们长出来之前 我会学习修复手册
so-until they grow out, and I'll study repair manuals.
科尔沃君 拜托
Korvotron, come on.
我知道地球上的有情生命
I know Earth is a little more inhabited
比你想象中多 但还是可以很好玩的
with sentient life than you expected, but it can still be fun.
你只需要跟你的朋友们浪
You just got to roll, roll with the homies.
我永远不会喜欢这里的 别再试图给我打气了
I'm not gonna ever like it here. Stop trying to cheer me up.
-让我安静长脚 -随便你 科尔沃
- I just-let me grow my feet in peace. - Whatever, Korvo.
你有没有感觉过人们觉得我们很怪
You ever get the feeling people think we're weird?
没有 作为科学家兼赏金猎人
No, and as a scientist/bounty hunter,
我洞察力极强
I am extremely perceptive.
外星人烂透了
E. T. sucks.
滚回天王星
Go back to Uranus.
我们根本不是来自这个象限的
We're actually not even from this quadrant.
我们不应该和外星人一起上学
I don't think we should have to go to school with aliens
他们多半会用他们的射线枪射杀我们
who are probably gonna zap us with their ray guns.
别搞种族歧视 我们从不射杀人
Uh-uh-uh. Don't be racist. We don't zap people.
你们这群肮脏的外星人是走廊里吵架吗
Are you filthy fucking aliens fighting in the hallway?
马上到库克校长办公室
Principal Cooke's office, now.
这个芬巴奇是谁
Who, who is this, uh, Funbucket character?
关你什么事
Why do you care?
我不知道这星球上还有另外一个有情物种
I was unaware of a second sentient species on this planet.
宾果邦果 我是芬巴奇
Bingo bango, I'm Funbucket.
我喜欢这宣传语
Hm, I, I like that catchphrase.
他有好多呢 "宾果邦果"
Oh, yeah, he's got a bunch of 'em. "Bingo bango"
只是冰山一角 朋友
is the tip of the iceberg, my friend.
天呐 芬巴奇似乎对人类有一种合理的蔑视
Oh, my. Funbucket appears to have a healthy disdain for humans.
是的 有次他给舒默先生喂了魔豆
Oh, yeah. One time he fed magic beans to Mr. Shromer
把他变成了一团灌木丛
and it turned him into a bush.
把他变成了一团灌木丛
It turned him into a bush!
他肯定讨厌死了
Oh, he must have hated that.
-他讨厌吗 -是的 他气死了
- Did he hate it? - Oh, yeah, he was pissed.
芬巴奇不遵守任何规则 是吗
Wow, Funbucket doesn't follow any rules, does he?
他貌似在一个小男孩的地下室里有个秘密实验室
It appears that he has a secret lab in a little boy's basement.
嗯 他们在那解决小的谜题
Yeah, they use it to solve small mysteries.
比如简单的数学方程式
You know, simple math equations,
或者谁偷了校长的新笔
or who stole the principal's, uh, new pen.
这人太有趣了 我真希望我们住在芬巴奇附近
This guy is fascinating. I wish we lived near Funbucket.
我们可以一起玩 天天吐槽人类
We could hang out and talk shit about humans all day and night.
玩科学 其实芬巴奇挺像科尔沃的
Do science. You know, Funbucket's kind of a Korvo.
对吧 特里
Don't you think, Terry?
他肯定和我一样讨厌地球和他们愚蠢的月历
Bet he hates Earth and their stupid monthly calendar as much as I do.
周六 来看看格蕾琴达斯商场的
Saturday, come on down to the Gretchen-Darth Mall
年度大甩卖♥♥
for the annual mega sale.
各店均有特♥价♥
Deals in every store,
并有机会赢取圣彼得的指骨一枚
and a chance to win one of St. Peter's finger bones!
还有芬巴奇和小丑兰戈特别出演
With special appearances by Funbucket and Rungo the Clown.
兰戈酷毙了 他有一头橙发和靴子房♥
Oh, Rungo's legit. He has orange hair and his house is a boot.
-我想他住在密歇根 -等等
- I think he lives in Michigan. - Wait.
芬巴奇要来我们商场
Funbucket is gonna be at our mall?
我们可以去见他
We could meet him.
对了兄弟 你可以跟他对照笔记
Oh, dude, you could compare notes with him.
他可以帮我们完成任务 是吧
He could help us with the mission. Huh?
任务是你的最爱 不是吗
You like that M-word, don't you?
我们必须一集不落地看完 特里
We have to watch all of these episodes, Terry.
我要了解关于芬巴奇的一切
I need to learn everything about Funbucket.
他有小鸡鸡吗 他能生宝宝吗
Does he have a penis? Does he reproduce?
我...我不知道 伙计 还没演呢
I don't-- I don't know, man. I mean, it hasn't come up.
我估计他应该是有小鸡鸡的
Yeah, I mean, I think he probably does have a penis.
-也许是大鸡鸡 -很好 很好 特里
- It's probably huge. - That's good, that's good, Terry.
我们必须在去商场见他之前掌握所有这些信息
We have to know all this stuff before we meet him at the mall.
你们还有什么可辩解的
Well, what do you have to say for yourselves?
-关于什么 -有人闯入电脑实验室
- About what? - Someone broke into the computer lab
用人工智能重新编写了电脑程序
and reprogrammed the iMacs with artificial intelligence.
我做过警♥察♥ 我叫理查德·迈克尔斯
I used to be a cop. My name is Richard Michaels.
这东西企图逮捕每个使用它的人
This thing's been trying to arrest everyone that uses it.
你指责我们仅仅因为我们是外星人
You're just blaming us because we're aliens.
每个人都有那些电脑的使用权限
Everyone has access to those computers.
不许动 狗♥杂♥种♥
Freeze, dirtbag.
我们发现这个夹在门缝里
We found this stuck in the door.
什么 我的两只都在啊
Wha, uh, uh, I've got both of mine.
为什么那只像新的
Why does that one look new?
因为我一直给它戴手套
'cause I keep it in a glove.
从现在起 你们两个给我老老实实的
From now on, I want nothing but perfect behavior from you two.
不许把健身房♥地球化 不许做豆荚人
No terraforming the gym or making pod people