外星也难民

Solar Opposites S04E01

Part 3 Sept. 18, 2023, 3:32 p.m.

Drum roll, please.
谁家小孩
Who are these kids?
他们怎么...
How did...
在办公室买♥♥张乒乒球桌
Buy the office a ping ping table.
拒绝
No.
滚出去
Get the fuck out.
我们拿不到桌子你们也拿不到钱
If we don't get the table, you don't get paid.
哥们这电♥话♥很重要
Guys, that was an important call.
茶给你萨纳
Here's the tea, Sarner,
你提供的工作环境糟透了
the workplace environment you created fucking sucks.
经调研发现其他办公室的工作氛围更好
Our research shows the vibe is better at other offices,
他们办公室有乒乒球
offices with ping ping.
乒乓球桌会扰乱办公
A ping pong table would be too disruptive.
别想了
It is not happening.
泰里萨纳先生的意思很明确
Well, Terry, I think Mr. Sarner has been clear and...
我们找到个绝佳的地点可以放在锅炉房♥
We measured out a perfect spot for it in the boiler room.
大家都不应该进入锅炉房♥
You shouldn't be going down to the boiler room.
太危险了
It's extremely dangerous.
温迪
Uh, Wendy?
不好意思刚刚断线了
Hi, so sorry we got disconnected.
科沃伙计你为什么不支持我
Korvo, my dude, why the fuck didn't you have my back in there?
我知道怎么得到乒乒
I know how we get the ping ping,
但需要高级计划
but it will require some high-level scheming.
过来
Come on.
爱莎把我们抽烟
Aisha, bring up the scheming set
和商量对策的谋划室放出来
where we like to smoke and scheme.
不对 "嗨爱莎今天过得怎样"
Wow, no, "Hi, Aisha. How's your day going?"
这才是交易之道
Just right to business.
你知道的我爱你抱歉
You know I love you. I'm sorry.
你是真的感到抱歉
Are you sorry 'cause you're sorry
还是因为我批评了你
or because I called you out on your bullshit?
都有
Both.
噢我要换套更适合讨论的衣服
Oh, oh, oh, I'm gonna slip into something more schemable.
那个废柴压根就不懂怎么让员工感受到重视
That turd has zero clue how to make his employees feel valued.
要是你当上老板第一件购置的就应该是
If you were the boss, a rad ping ping table would be
一张酷炫的乒乒桌
your first purchase.
废话但可惜事与愿违
No shit, but that's not the world we live in,
所以我们要抗争 - 深v上衣喔
so we fight. - Whoa, deep V, huh?
别取笑我我觉得穿着很没有安全感
Don't make fun of me. I'm feeling insecure about it.
我很爱
No, I love it.
尤其是它能将你胸的轮廓勾勒出来
Especially once your chest gets more defined.
抱歉继续讨论吧
Sorry, continue scheming.
萨纳说只有我俩想要乒乒球桌
Sarner said we're the only employees who want ping ping.
要是我们能证明其他同事也想要乒乒球桌
But if we can prove our co-workers also demand ping ping,
那他就是搬起石头砸自己的脚
then he'll be boxed in by his own logic.
但是公♥司♥里没一个善茬
Ah, but everyone in the office is a sleemo.
我列了份名单他们是公♥司♥里最蠢
I made a list of our stupidest co-workers
但是朋友最多的人
with the most friends.
如果我们能说服这些人支持购入乒乒桌
If we can get them supporting ping ping,
那么其他的人都会跟风签名
the rest will fall in line.
但这些人不是讨厌我就是嫉妒我
But everyone hates slash is jealous slash
要不就是想睡我
wants to sleep with me of us.
那我们得推他们一把
Then we motivate them.
名单上第一个是道格
First on the list is Doug.
他总会聊起他对沙奎尔.奥尼尔
He's always talking about how much he loves
专属美味"大先生"巧克力的热爱
vintage Shaquille O'Neal Mr. Big bars.
注: 有机会赢得沙奎尔的脏袜
皮姆和贾姆明眼人都知道他们互相喜欢
Pim and Jam, clearly in love with each other,
但是贾姆有个人见人不爱的傻♥逼♥男友
but Jam has a stupid boyfriend nobody likes,
因此老实人皮姆不敢有进一步的行动
and Pim's too dopey to do anything about it.
得有人帮她一把
All she needs is a little push.
不敢相信我男友居然出轨了那么丑的妓♥女♥
I can't believe my boyfriend would cheat on me with this ugly whore.
然后是愚蠢的老妇珍妮丝
Then there's big, stupid Janice.
这个无趣的老女人只在意一件事
And we all know that boring biatch only cares about one thing.
一年前那个夏天
This is the man
就是这个男人害死了你的男人并肇事逃逸
who killed your husband in that hit-and-run two summers ago.
签了这份请♥愿♥书他就是你的
Sign our petition and he's yours.
是我♥干♥的我要杀了你们
That's right, I did it and I'd do it again.
游戏结束萨纳
Game, set, match, Sarner.
乒乒球桌的话语权
Those are ping ping words.
你手上是一份请♥愿♥书办公室每个人都签了名
In your hands is a petition signed by everyone in the office.
结果很明确职员们都想乒
The message is clear, your workers demand the ping.
依然是不行
The answer is still no.
去你的你之前说只有我俩想要乒乒
Fuck you. You said we were the only ones who wanted ping ping
而我现在已经推♥翻♥了你说的话
and I've trapped you with your own words.
论据不成立
Your whole argument has collapsed.
不是因为这个
It doesn't matter.
明晚我要和董事会的人开会
I'm meeting with the board of directors tomorrow evening,
他们要对公♥司♥开支进行完全的审计
and they're doing a full audit of our expenses.
他们要是看到不如意的地方
And if they don't like what they see,
就会关闭我们分公♥司♥
they're gonna shut down this branch.
我无法说服他们乒乓桌存在的合理性
There's no way I can justify a ping pong table to them,
我也说过锅炉房♥放乒乓桌不安全
and I already told you it is not safe in the boiler room.
现在滚出我的办公室
Now get out of my office!
就快成功了蛹宝宝
You are so close, Pupa.
需要来点线索吗
You want a hint?
爱莎有个小问题
Aisha, quick question.
大屌♥倍增器在哪里
Uh, where's the Phallic Multiplier?
姐妹你要拿大屌♥射线做什么
Girl, what do you need the dick ray for?
我的大姐恶作剧
My big-sister prank.
我要在"海面上"舞会让洋洋乐被大屌♥包围
I'm gonna cover Yumyulack in dicks at the Above the Sea dance.
你可不能这么羞辱洋洋乐
You can't humiliate Yumyulack like that.
他是个非自愿单身狗
He's an incel fuckface.
注: 指对女性和性生活活跃的男性都抱有敌意,
认为自己无法恋爱的男性
与之相反我很善待洋洋乐
Ha, if anything, I'm going easy on the kid.
你该去听听学校那些女的
You should hear
是怎么对待她们的弟弟的
what the Stacis do to their little bros.
要保持你们肘部运输口开放和畅通
Trust is the key thing
信任是关键
to keep your elbow port open and flowing.
若没有信任它们会永久关闭
Without it, they'll close up forever,
就像耳洞
like a earring hole.
永远
Forever?
为什么我现在才第一次知道
How come this is the first I'm hearing about this now?
去你的杰西
Fuck you, Jesse.
傻♥逼♥外星人
Stupid alien.
我要大屌♥射线越快越好
I'm gonna need that dick ray ASAP.
他们还是孩子得允许孩子偶尔犯错
They're teens. You gotta let them make mistakes.
重要回忆
在你撑不住的
时候打开
你们俩过来
You two, come with me.
关于你们说的我考虑了很久然后...
I did a lot of thinking about what you said, and...
萨纳你这个美丽的混♥蛋♥
Sarner, you beautiful bastard.
你买♥♥了乒乒球桌
You got the ping ping.
但是董事会
But the board of directors.
你说过你没办法说服他们
You said you couldn't justify it.
别操心董事会
Don't worry about the board.
我知道怎么说能让他们顺利批准
I know the perfect thing to say to get them to sign off.
不过我有个条件
But I do have one condition.
第一局让我先打 - 成交
I get the first game. - Deal.
最后你还是选择做一个好人
Wow, in the end, you actually are a pretty good guy.
和你们工作想不做好人都难
Hey, working with you two makes it easy to be good.
噢
Oh!
危险
不得移除
安全装置
老天爷啊
Jesus Christ!
萨纳说得对
Whoa, Sarner was right.
锅炉房♥很危险
The boiler room is hella dangerous.
对他而言不是说我们
I mean, for him, not us.
所以我们没错
So I guess we were both right.
复习下行动计划
Let's go over the plan.
计划将在库克校长
It's all going down when Principal Cooke
颁发学生奖的时候进行
presents the Student Awards.