外星居民（2021）

Resident Alien S03E05

Part 3 March 18, 2024, 5:30 p.m.

We do not keep secrets from one another like humans do.
所以你们永远都不知道真爱是什么
That is why you will never know true love
最后沦落为“孤独旋女”
and why you will end up lonely spinners.
那叫大龄剩女 -干嘛纠正他
Well, it's spinsters. Why would you correct him?
不知道 -你俩不要生气好吗
No idea. Don't be upset you two, OK?
哈利跟我无话不谈
Harry and I, we tell each other everything.
就比如我知道你碰过他的鸡鸡
For instance, I know you touched his penis.
什么
What?
我们当时被困在裂缝里而且他还身受重伤
We were trapped in a crevasse, and he was seriously injured.
他说你摸了很久
Well, he says you lingered.
搞什么
What the hell?
你知道自己做了什么
You know what you did.
他说我什么了 -没提起过你
And what'd he say about me? He did not mention you.
只说了阿斯塔摸他的事
Just the stuff about Asta groping him,
这让他颇有感触
and thatthat was very triggering for him,
非常痛苦
very traumatic,
以及镇长被灰人掳走的事
and how the town mayor has been abducted by Greys.
本被掳走过 -什么
Ben's been abducted? -What?
什么时候的事 -别担心
When? Do not worry.
他们每次都会送他回来他什么都不记得
They bring him back every time, and he remembers nothing.
为什么不早点告诉我们
Why would you not tell us this sooner?
因为这是医生跟患者
Because that is privileged information
以及当时跟她医生
between a patient and a doctor, and the Avian
在你车前座做♥爱♥的鸟人
that his doctor is having sex with
之间的保密信息
in the front seat of your car.
我撒谎说只在后座做了
I lied about only doing it in the back.
不许再在我车里做
Stop having sex in my car.
你现在真的不能离开地球
Now you really can't leave Earth.
你必须留在这里把灰人赶走
You've got to stay here and get rid of the Greys.
不不需要
No, I don't.
我一旦搞清灰人的计划
Once I figure out what the Greys'plan is,
只需要将能打败他们的东西
I just need to give the General
都给将军就可以了
everything she needs to defeat them.
这真是
That is, uh--
怎么了
What?
这
Hey, it's--
我要去趟卫生间
I have to go to the bathroom.
我会像人类男性一样陪你过去
I will chaperone you like a human male
假装保护你
in a false show of protection.
失陪
Excuse us.
对
Yeah.
搞什么啊
What the hell?
我们得告诉本
We have to tell Ben.
不行不能说
No, we can't.
会暴露哈利的
It will expose Harry.
答应我什么都别跟他说
Promise me you will not tell him anything.
行吧
Fine.
谢谢
Thank you.
现在他们在咱家卫生间里做♥爱♥了
And now they're having sex in our bathroom.
以后你用吧
That's your bathroom.
我去用健身房♥的
I'll be using the gym.
你俩在干什么
Hey. What are you two up to?
帮麦克斯建造悬索桥
Helping Max build a suspension bridge
科学作业要求的
for his science project. -Hmm.
进展不错也是共度时光
Making good progress, and it is a great way
一种很好的方式
to spend time together.
父子亲子时刻
A little father-son bonding.
一天白做了
Whole day wasted.
看起来不像是你在帮他
You know, it doesn't look like you're helping him.
倒像是你替他做
It looks like you're doing it for him.
没不是就是检查一下
Nope. Nope. Just inspecting.
几乎没动手
You know, barely did anything.
都是麦克斯做的对吧兄弟
You know, Max is all over it, aren't you, buddy?
我说是不是啊兄弟
I said, aren't you, buddy?
我忙着呢
I'm kind of in the middle of something.
干活
Get to work.
我已经做了一个可爸给扔了
I already had a project, but Dad threw it out.
是一袋发霉的面包
It was a bag of moldy bread.
那就是垃圾
It was literally trash.
自己做项目明白吗
Make your own project, OK?
这次要认真做而不是
And one that takes more effort than just
拿个烂掉的东西充数
watching something rot.
你知道有个网站
You know there's a whole website where
专门给老师打分的吧
you can rate teachers, right?
尽管打
Do your worst.
我已经是全校最低分了
I already have the worst rating in the school.
亲爱的
Honey--
如果我们什么都代劳麦克斯是不会学到东西的
Max isn't going to learn if we do everything for him.
我知道
I know.
我只是看到他要交一袋发霉面包时
I just panicked when I saw he was gonna turn in
吓坏了
a bag of moldy bread.
我小时候被欺负过
I was picked on as a kid.
不想麦克斯也经历这些
I don't want Max to have to go through that, too.
孩子们不会因为这个欺负他
Kids wouldn't pick on him for that.
而会因为他没把科学课当回事
They'd think he was cool for not caring
觉得他很酷
about science class.
除非他们都是书呆子但谁管他们怎么想
I mean, unless they're nerds, but who cares what they think.
都是一帮策蛋
They're dorks.
你有考虑过休假吗
You ever consider taking a sabbatical from teaching?
每天都想
Every day.
慢点
Slow down!
快这边
Come on, this way.
别那么快
Not so fast!
本
ben
如果哈利能带他的鸟过来
If Harry can have his bird over,
那我应该能养只猫
I should be able to have a cat.
我对鸟并不过敏
OK, I am not allergic to birds,
一般情况下不用跟在他们后面收拾
and you don't have to clean up after them, normally.
起码猫不会在你车里做♥爱♥
At least cats don't have sex in your car.
天我们必须做点什么
Oh, God. We have to do something.
歌♥利亚说的很清楚哈利和将军
Goliath made it very clear that Harry and the General
必须一起拯救地球
have to save the planet together.
就是说他不能走
So he can't leave.
看来我们得棒打鸳鸯了
I guess we have to break them up?
好耶
Yes!
哈利就像个发♥情♥的青少年
Harry's like a teenager in heat.
唯一办法就是甩掉海瑟
The only way is to get rid of Heather.
我喜欢你的想法
I like where your mind's going.
你觉得咱需要多粗的蛇才能对付那么大的鸟
How big of a snake do you think we need for a bird that size?
我意思是跟海瑟谈谈
I meant talk to Heather and get her
然后让她跟哈利分手 -跟她谈谈
to break up with Harry. Talk to her.
蛇是后备计划明白了
Snake is back-up, got it.
问个小问题随便问的
Hey, quick question. Random.
你觉得如果杰搬来住段时间怎么样
How would you feel if Jay moved in for a bit?
门外谁啊
Who's at the door?
说来好笑杰之前问我能不能搬过来
Funny story. Jay asked if she could move in.
然后我找她妈谈了下她同意了
And then I talked to her mom, and she said yes,
所以我就很开心
so I got really excited about it,
就跟杰说她可以过来跟我们住一段时间
and then I told Jay that she could stay with us for a while
忘了先征求你意见对不起
without talking to you first. I'm so sorry.
对不起
I'm sorry.
室友 -好啊
Hey, roomies. -Hi.
杰我们要养猫啦
Hey, Jay. We're getting a cat.
不错哦
Nice.
这个巧克力酱
Dr. Vanderspeigle wasn't lying
范德史宾格医生还真没说错
about this chocolate sauce.
当你不知道下面有没有冰淇淋时
Makes it fun when you're not sure
就会觉得很有趣
the ice cream's under there.
你是在冰淇淋店买♥♥的
Well, you bought it at the ice cream shop,
所以应该是知道的
so I think you are sure.
现在知道了