外星居民（2021）

Resident Alien S03E02

Part 2 Feb. 29, 2024, 7:59 p.m.

不你
No, you- -
你可以相信我爱你哦
You know, you can tryst me. I love you.
这一片的房♥子很抢手
Houses in this neighborhood are very desirable.
是吗
Really?
那太好了 -当然
Oh, that's great. - Oh, yeah.
我很在行的
I know my stuff.
怎么回事
Hey. What's going on?
我之前碰到朱迪提了一嘴
Well, I ran into Judy, and I mentioned
我们打算把房♥子卖♥♥了的事
that we were putting the house on the market.
结果发现她是个房♥产经纪人
And it turns out that she's a realtor.
那个还不完全是
Well, not not fully, not yet.
我就是老考不过
I just- - I keep failing the test.
但只要我通过考试我姨芭芭拉
But until I pass, my Aunt Barbara lets me
就会让我接手她不在乎的那些客户
work with the clients that she doesn't care about.
所以你是认真的
So you're- - you're really serious about this?
是我跟你说过了
Yes, I told you.
而且朱迪有些很好的主意
And Judy's qot some really qood ideas.
对没错我有好主意
Yes, I do. Yes I do.
好了看这边二位
A- right, this way, folks.
你们喜欢动物纹理图案吗
How do you guys feel about animal print?
像斑马啊
Zebra?
显然这些沙发太丑了
I mean, obviously, these couches are hideous.
不能放那这些装饰都太丑了
No on that. All this trim is just ugh.
显然你们需要祛除
Obviously, you're qonna want to get rid
这些死肉味
of the dead meat smell and- -
这是真的吗
are these real?
不这是件好事说真的都得换
No. That's a good thing. It's a teardown, really.
但我们会先卖♥♥了然后他们才会意识到
But we'll sell it, and then they'll realize it later.
你们有手写的标志牌吗
Do you quys have any signs with cursive on them?
像那种《往湖里跳》
Like- - like- - like, "Let's go jump in the lake, "
或是那种《极度有趣》
you know, or, like, "Great fun"
光光多点光懂吗
Light, light, light. You know?
开阔一点丢掉这些
Just open it up, qet rid of that,
全都敲了
blow all this out, you know?
做成个大厨房♥
Make it one big kitchen.
这里放披萨烤箱
Ooh! A pizza oven right here.
爆米花机其实更好
Popcorn machine's actually better.
能吸引眼球
It draws the eye.
你们需要吸引别人的注意
You're qonna want to draw the eye.
不是这些主意 -好吧
Mm- hmm. Not those. - Yeah.
我只是不太确定
You know, I'm just not sure
现在是不是出♥售♥的好时机
that it's the right time to sell.
市场行情什么的 -不不会的
You know, the market and all. - Oh, no. No, no.
凶宅的市场一向火爆
The market's always strong for a murder house.
什么
I'm sorry?
是这样
Oh, well, OK.
严格来说是谋杀后自杀
Yeah, technically, murder- suicide.
我不太同意是谋杀
I don't know about"murder. "
之前的户主不是
I mean, didn't the- - didn't the previous owner
滑倒的吗
just kind of slip and fall?
对没错
Yeah, she did.
她腹部中枪
She qot shot in the gut,
被自己的血滑倒
slipped and fell in her own blood,
然后背后又中了两枪
and then she got two more to the back execution stvle.
什么
What?
本你忘了吗
Ben, don't you remember? - Hmm?
一年级你就写过这个故事
You wrote a story about it in first grade.
画了不少画用完了所有红色的蜡笔
You drew all the pictures, used up all the red crayons.
没想起来
Mm, not ringing a bell.
谁中枪了
Who got shot?
还有棕色的蜡笔记得吗
Some of the brown crayons too, remember,
因为那个女士拉裤子里了
because the lady shit her pants.
好了麦克斯你能上楼去吗
OK, Max, can you upstairs?
我想念所有好听的故事
I miss all the good stories.
我只是觉得
You know I- - I just think
我们至少应该先谈谈
that we should at least maybe talk about it.
对我们刚谈过了
Yeah, we did, just now.
我不能住这
I can't live here. OK.
那我来列清单 -好
So I'll do the listing? - Yes.
那你们开始装♥修♥吧
And you guys get started on the renovating.
但你知道吗
Oh, you know what, though?
要我就不会把地板拆了
I wouldn't pull up the floorboards,
特别是地下室的地板
definitely not the ones in the basement.
除非你们喜欢骷髅因为有些人喜欢
Unless you guys like skeletons, which some people do.
我们可以在万圣节挂牌出♥售♥
We can list it on Halloween.
炸
Boo!
来吧
Come on.
也许应该连带我在内
Maybe we could iust burn the house down
一把火烧了这房♥子
with me inside it.
我闻到烘焙香味了
I smell baked goods.
香蕉面包是给实验室的艾丝特
Yeah, the banana bread is for Esther at the lab
让她快点提取彼得·巴♥赫♥面包车上的指纹
to expedite the prints we got from Peter Bach's van,
巧克力曲奇饼干
and the chocolate chip cookies
是给邮局的莫琳
are for Maureen at the post office
让她去催实验室的艾丝特
to hurry the prints to Esther at the lab.
那蓝莓松饼呢
And the blueberry muffins?
给本的
For Ben.
他喜欢吃
He likes them.
这个给你 -太好了
And for you. - Yes!
这是我祖母的秘方
My grandmother's secret recipe.
我从她抽屉拿走的那天
The day I took it from her drawer,
她朝我头上丢了块面包
she threw a toaster at my head.
她很厉害但也是我
She was tough, but she was also
在躲避球游戏中战无不胜的原因
why I went undefeated in dodgeball.
半边有6个蓝莓
There's six blueberries in one half
另外半边就2个
and two blueberries in the other.
你的烤箱是侧放的吗
Was your oven on its side?
还是不要了谢谢
No thank you.
托雷斯警探找你
Also, Detective Torres called here
已经打过两次电♥话♥了
twice already looking for you.
咱们还是说工作好吧
Let- - let's just qet to work, OK?
不你不愿谈这个
Oh, no. You're not talking,
你跟她玩消失吗
Are you ghosting her?
鬼是会说话的副警长
Ghosts talk, Deputy.
这是鬼会做的许多事中的一种
That's one of the main thinqs ghosts do.
如果有人有话想说
If somebody has something to say
却在还没说出口就死了
and then they die before they say it,
他们就会变成鬼
they turn ghost.
他们会在雾蒙蒙的镜子上写字
They write on fogged- up mirrors.
会在你晚上入睡前在你耳边私语
They whisper in your ear before you fall asleep at night.
会把浴缸的水变成血
They turn bathwater into blood.
知道吗这是在沟通
OK? That's communicating.
好吧
OK.
你有什么没跟莉娜沟通吗
Is there something you're not communicating to Lena?
听着她为我们计划了下个月的旅行
Get this, right- - she planned a trip for us next month,
全部费用她出
all expenses paid by her.
一开始她是吃饭买♥♥单
First she's paying for dinners.
现在又要付整个周末的开销
Now she's paying for entire weekends
下一步做什么她要把肾捐给我吗
What's next? She qonna give me her kidney?
别又这么想
Oh, not this again.
你说得对不说这个
You're right, not this.
因为这个话题已经结束了
Because this conversation, it's over.
我要把松饼给本拿去然后拿一个
I'm bringing Ben his muffins and I'm taking
艾丝特的饼干
one of Esther's cookies.
饼干是给莫琳的
Oh, the cookies are for Maureen.
艾丝特的是香蕉面包
Esther is the banana bread.
我不在乎
I don't care.
至少巧克力碎是平均分布的
At least the chocolate chips are evenly spaced.
给丽芙副警长给你做了些一边倒的松饼
Here, Deputy Liv made you some lopsided muffins.
我最喜欢这些了
Oh, I love these.