外星居民（2021）

Resident Alien S03E02

Part 3 Feb. 29, 2024, 7:59 p.m.

这是什么
What's this?
你要弄个泳池吗
You getting a pool?
不好说
Uh, I don't know.
凯特想把房♥子卖♥♥了
Kate wants to sell the house.
我想着也许我建个泳池她就不卖♥♥了
I thought maybe if I put in a pool, she'd want to stay.
游泳别找我
You can count me out.
我不在别人泡过的水里游泳
I don't swim in water somebody else is tea- bagging.
我们肯定会穿泳衣的
I'm pretty sure we'd be wearing bathing suits.
水又不管这些
Shit, water don't care.
就算你把茶包装在速比涛泳衣里再放水里
You wrap a tea bag in a Speedo and you put it in some water,
Speedo是一家澳大利亚的游泳和沙滩运动品牌以生产高性能游泳衣、泳裤、泳帽等游泳装备而闻名
得到的还是
you still qonna qet a cup of tea
一杯有蛋蛋味的茶
that tastes like your nuts.
还有其它原因我没得选
For that, and other reasons, it's not an option.
因为我负担不起
I can't afford it.
是吗
Really?
把你的鞋袜脱了
Take off your shoe and sock.
什么 -你听到我说什么了
What? - You heard me.
赶紧光脚让我看看
Go on and make your foot naked. Let's see it.
我不要
I'm gonna say no.
这可能违反人力资源规定了
Uh- - possible HR violation.
不错脚还挺漂亮
Yeah, that is a pretty foot.
你有个舞者的脚弓
You qot yourself a dancer's arch.
我的天啊天啊
Ooh, my, my, my, my, my.
知道吗
You know what?
我知道你问题的答案了
I qot the answer to your problems.
下班后来见我
You come see me after work.
把脚带上
Bring your feet.
我的同类不该放弃地球
My people should not have given up
交给灰人
the Earth to the Greys.
他们冷漠无情但我们每次对垒
They are ruthless, but we have beaten them
都打败了他们
every time we have faced each other.
我不需要同类的帮助
I do not need the help of my people
去打败一个灰人混血
to defeat a single Grey hybrid.
我会很高兴用我的方式去对付
I will be very happy doing it by my- -
好吧
AlI right.
开始吧
Let's do this.
我知道这栋楼
I know this building.
我曾来这申请居住过
I applied for an apartment here,
但被拒绝了
but I got turned down.
一个灰人却能住进来
A Grey alien qot in?
简直扯淡
This is bullshit.
你待在这你望风
You stay here. You will be the lookout.
没门
No way.
这些房♥间都是新装♥修♥的
AlI these units are newly renovated.
我要看看他住哪间
I qotta see which one he got. Hmm.
他很可能还有蒸汽浴房♥
He probably has a steam shower
我要去那拉个屎
I need to take a shit into.
好吧
OK.
我去你会飞
Holy shit. Can you fly?
我要是会飞还爬什么劲
If I could fly, why would I climb?
真是搞笑
I mean, seriously.
但我哪个都不会
Well, I can't do either.
抓住绳子拉我上去
Grab the rope and pull me up.
糟了没抓着
Oh, no, I missed.
拉我上去否则我在酒吧贴告示
Pull me up or I'll put a sign in the bar
说哈利·范德史宾格会踢狗
that says Harry Vanderspeigle kicks dogs.
我不会
I do not.
谁造的谣
Who tells these lies?
是我你个白♥痴♥ 我刚编的
Me, you idiot. I just made it up.
然后人们会相信我
Oh. And people will believe me
因为你长了一张会踢狗的脸
because you have a dog- kicking face.
我没有
I do not.
拉我上去否则我编个更恶劣的
Pull me up or I'll make up worse.
我才没有长一张会踢狗的脸
I do not have a dog- kicking face.
扔吧
Throw it.
♪我就像个强盗♪
♪I'm like a bandit♪
♪在午夜时分♪
♪I steal kisses of hers ♪
♪偷走她的吻♪
♪ Late in the midnight hour ♪
等下你在干什么
Wait. What are you doing?
你说的对
You're right.
我的最爱
Oh, my favorite.
对不起
I'm sorry.
我没法用我这张踢狗的脸直视你
I'm having trouble looking out of my dog- kicking face at you.
这是镇上最好的汉堡
Best burgers in town.
天啊
Jesus.
好了明天见
AII right, I'll see you tomorrow.
真的有人为这付钱吗
People really pay money for this?
要是你继续动就不会你别动
Not if you keep moving. You gotta stay still.
我正在找角度
I'm trying to get the angle right.
我没法不动脚抽筋了
I can't. Ow! Cramp.
不行抽筋了 -继续就这样
Cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp. - Oh, use it. Go with that.
网上专门有这种网站叫痉挛区
There's a whole section of the website called Crampus.
天啊听着这样太奇怪了
Oh, God. No. Look, it's just too weird.
我知道你在干什么
I know what you're doing.
你搞得好像这事很龌龊一样
You're trying to make it sound dirty.
不会的
It's not.
这不龌龊
It's not dirty.
现在把脚趾张开
Now spread your toes for me.
赚钱不可耻
No shame in making money.
毕竟基本生活的根本
I mean, the root of essential living
就是经济安全和独♥立♥
is financial security, independence.
男人得照顾好自己
Hey, a man's gotta take care of himself
特别是就算女人开始插足
first and foremost, even if a woman inserts herself
计划旅行
and starts planning trips.
莉娜为我们俩计划了一场临时旅行
Lena planned an impromptu vacation for the two of us.
在你说“那又怎样”之前
And before you say, "So what, "
我要告诉你事情不该是这样的
that's not the way it's supposed to be.
这种事应该由我提出来
I'm supposed to be the one initiating that.
谁说的
Says who?
这话跟“那又怎样”差不多
Now, that's very close to"So what. "
你说的是角色
Well, you're talking about roles,
每个人在一段关系中都扮演了一个角色
and everyone in a relationship has a role they play,
其实也能行
and it works- -
只要你们其中一个不会在十年后
as long as one of you doesn't suddenlv switch up the roles
突然转换角色
after ten years so you have no idea
搞得你不知道她是怎么了
what's happening with her.
好吧我感觉不像是在说我了
OK, I feel like this is no lonqer about me.
我8岁时我的老师让我们写下
When I was eight, my teacher had us write down
暑假想要做什么
what we were doing for summer vacation.
我写了害怕
I wrote, "Fear. "
这就是我我就是这样的人
That's me. That's my thing.
结果突然凯特开始怕鸟
Now, suddenly, Kate's afraid of birds,
这让我很恐慌
and that scares me.
我要怎么成为躲在床底下的那个人
I mean, how am I supposed to be the one hiding under the bed
因为她已经在那了
when she's already there?
我来点拨你一下
Well, let me lay a little wisdom on you.
男人的工作就是照顾好他的女人就这样
A man's job is to take care of his woman, full stop.
像我很传统对吧
See, me, I'm old- school, right?
我喜欢为人开门
I like holding doors open.
难道真的要一个女人
Do I really want a woman
把外套放在水洼上
who's qonna lay her jacket over a puddle
好让我的鞋不打湿吗
so my pumps don't qet wet?
你们又没结婚
Well, you're not married.
要是不喜欢她就分手
If you don't like her, break it off.
我确实挺喜欢她的
I do like her, a lot.
莉娜是个很棒的女人
I mean, Lena's an amazing woman.
她聪明漂亮
She's smart. She's beautiful.
对战术刀很有品位
She's qot great taste in tactical knives.
好吧 -还有独♥立♥自主
Sure. - Independent.
我其实喜欢她的独♥立♥