外星居民（2021）

Resident Alien S03E01

Part 3 Feb. 25, 2024, 2:24 p.m.

searching my email for data sequencing numbers
但只找到足球经理人游戏请求
but all I found were 'Fantasy Football' requests.
若我要打败约瑟夫
If I am going to defeat Joseph
我就要像真正的外星人般单独行事
I need to work alone like a real alien.
所以我用了人类员工的处理方式
So I handled it exactly like a human worker would.
- 我发短♥信♥给谢夫，叫他跟将军说我生病了
- I texted Jeff and asked him to tell the General I was sick.
谢夫真不懂说谎
Jeff is a horrible liar.
你要来上班
You need to come to work.
我们接收到外星人的对话
We picked up alien chatter.
我需要你听一次
I need you to go through it.
另外，你必须出席人力资源研讨会
Plus, you have to take the HR seminar.
我有比听对话更重要的事情做
I have something better than chatter.
我找到一个在对话的人
I have found someone who is doing the chattering.
为何你会有男孩胸口的相片
Why do you have a picture of a boy's chest?
那是我的胸口
That's my chest.
我最近在剃毛
I have been manscaping.
等等，那是我们找的内鬼
Wait, that's our mole!
那是枪击彼得巴贺和我的守卫的人
That's the man who shot Peter Bach and my guards.
他同时是混血灰人
He is also a Grey hybrid alien.
他已经来了
He is here.
我最近在监视他
I have been watching him.
这是他喝咖啡的相片
Here he is drinking coffee.
这是他过马路的相片
Here he is crossing the street.
这是我练腿后的相片
This is me after leg day.
这是他在打可疑电♥话♥的相片
There he is making a suspicious phone call.
那是我的阴♥茎♥
That is my penis.
是，你一定要去人力资源研讨会
Yeah, you're definitely gonna have to take the HR seminar.
听着，我们要查出灰人的意图
Look, we need to find out what the Greys are up to,
我会召集小队捉这个约瑟夫
I'll get a team to go grab this Joseph.
不…
No...
那么灰人就会知道我们盯上他们
Then they will know that we are on to them.
我会亲自应付这个约瑟夫
I will deal with this Joseph myself.
别担心，我有计划
Do not worry, I have a plan.
我没有计划
I do not have a plan.
我刚才在漫画店
I was just at the comic book store.
阴谋论孩子说
The conspiracy kids there said
那个外星人追踪者的死不是意外
the Alien Tracker's death was no accident.
他是被杀害
He was murdered.
那些孩子根本不知道他们在说什么
Those kids don't know what they're talking about.
他们觉得大脚八和大脚怪是一样的
They think Bigfoot and Sasquatch are the same thing.
它们是同一样东西
They are the same thing.
连你也受到他们迷惑
They got to you too!
你太多疑了
You're being paranoid.
那些孩子其实挺棒的
Those kids are actually kind of nice.
或许你应该多花时间与他们相处
Maybe you should spend more time with them,
认识新朋友
make some new friends.
我不需要新朋友
I don't need new friends.
等等，你不想再当我的朋友吗
Wait, do you not want to be my friend anymore?
不是，我是你的朋友，我保护了你
Yes. I'm your friend and I protected you.
我没跟他们说
I didn't tell them
外星人追踪者的死是你的错
the Alien Tracker's death was your fault.
什么？怎会是我的错
What? How is it my fault?
你向哈利告发他，结果哈利杀了他
You sold him out to Harry and Harry killed him.
想想吧
Think about it.
我们最后知道外星人追踪者活着时
The last time we knew the Alien Tracker was alive,
他当时正前往哈利的小屋
he was headed to Harry's cabin.
我们必须去那里四处打探
We have to go there and sniff around.
副警长，有什么紧急状况
Hey, Deputy. What's the emergency?
我要跟你说件事
I have to tell you something,
但我想小心翼翼，以免我们被监视
but I want to be very careful just in case we're being watched.
过来
Come here.
这样，就算有人在监视我们
This way if someone is on to us
没有人会听到我们说什么
nobody can hear what we're saying!
你去种稻草？
You're going haying?
不，听着
No. Listen.
那手提袋属于外星人追踪者的儿子
That duffel bag belongs to the Alien Tracker's son.
我在一本日记簿找到情报
I found the information in a diary!
谁…肚泻
Who...who has diarrhoea?
不，日记
No. Diary.
－肚泻？－日记
-Diarrhoea? -Diary.
我找到那儿子的心理治疗师的名字
And I found the name of the son's therapist.
他住在犹他州
He lives in Utah.
听清楚，他昨晚被杀了
And get this, he was murdered last night!
天啊，事情真是峰回路转
Damn, things have taken a turn.
难怪你肚泻
No wonder you got diarrhoea.
－什么－你的肚泻
-What? -Your diarrhoea.
听着，我们要找那辆货车
Listen, we gotta get that van.
约翰的父母有危险
John's parents aren't safe!
为何你会肚泻
Why do you have diarrhoea?
我没有肚泻
I don't have diarrhoea!
我康复了
I cleared it up.
我吃了很多香蕉和多士
I ate a bunch of bananas and toast.
我不能约约瑟夫出来
I can't ask Joseph out.
为何？他看你的眼神像看圣诞火腿
Why not? He looked at you like a Christmas ham.
我未准备好约会
I'm just not ready to date.
别这样
Come on.
看看你，你很完美，你绝对准备好
Look at you, you're perfect, you're more than ready.
你聪明风趣
You're smart, you're funny.
我真想去一间餐厅
I would love to go to a restaurant
是他们不会让我用蜡笔来填写菜单
where they don't give me a pack of crayons to colour my menu.
我想你是要加入我们吧
I guess you're joining us?
不，我只想吃薯条
No, I just wanted fries.
这些需要盐
And these need salt.
实在太快了
It's just too soon.
我只是刚离开占美
I barely left Jimmy.
女孩在谈心事吗？我也想玩
Is this girl talk? I want to play.
尽情倾诉吧，女孩
You go, girl.
达丝和琪拉觉得
D'arcy and Kayla think
我应该邀请约瑟夫副警长去约会
that I should ask that Deputy Joseph on a date.
你不能去，女孩
You cannot go, girl!
男人约女人
Men ask women out.
女人不会约男人
Women do not ask men,
这不是她们该做的事
it is not their place.
你想再说一次吗
Do you want to try that again?
他连护士也不是
He is not even a nurse,
你们不会有任何话题
you will have nothing to talk about.
你试过约会吗
Have you ever been on a date?
他试过
He has.
话不多，像山羊般亲吻
Not much of a talker, kisses like a goat.
谢谢
Thank you.
听着，有时候认识新的人是好事
Look, sometimes it's nice to meet new people, you know?
了解他们
Get to know them.
如果艾丝塔与灰人约会
If Asta goes out with the Grey,
她能为我收集情报
she can get information for me.
我改变了主意，你可以约会
I changed my mind, you can go on the date.
你觉得她需要你的准许？
You think she needs your permission?
你说的，姐妹，没错，女王
You said it, sister. 'Yes, queen.'
他确实挺有型
He was kind of cute.
这才是我的女孩
There's my girl.
这也是我的女孩
And it is also my girl.
谁统治世界？女孩
Who runs the world? Girls.
你在哪里买♥♥这款香料的
So where'd you pick up this spice?
味道会很好的
It'll be good.
你们好，你们一定是约翰的父母
Hey there, you must be John's parents.
我是佩信斯的米克汤臣警长
I'm Sheriff Mike Thompson from Patience,
我与你们的媳妇共事
I work with your daughter-in-law.
我约她和约翰在这里见面看货车
I'm meeting her and John here to see the van.
我们没有媳妇，也没有货车
We don't have a daughter-in-law. Or a van.
不认识约翰
Don't know a John.
我能发誓是这间房♥子
I could swear that this was the right house.
房♥子甚至有白色门的棕色谷仓