老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S07E19
Part 1
Oct. 22, 2020, 2:19 p.m.
Kids, in the spring of 2012,
孩子们 2012年的春天
your Uncle Barney went off the grid for a couple weeks.
你们巴尼叔叔突然失联了好几周
So I was relieved when I got a text
所以等他发短♥信♥让我去他家时
asking me to come over to his place.
我松了一口气
Glad to hear from you, buddy.
很高兴收到你短♥信♥ 兄弟
I was worried something bad happened...
我还挺担心你是不是遭遇...
...to you.
不测了
Welcome, brother.
欢迎你 我的兄弟
What is this?
这是干嘛
Ted Evelyn Mosby,
泰德·艾弗琳·莫斯比
you are about to be sworn to secrecy
你将宣誓替我守密
through the sacred vows of a Bro Oath,
要以神圣兄弟的誓言起誓
or "Broath."
或简称"兄言"
Please, put on your "Brobe."
请穿上你的"兄袍"
Yeah, I'm not putting on the "Brobe."
我才不要穿这破"兄袍"
Ted, just...
泰德 你就...
just... Okay?
配合点 可以吗
** Broooo... *
* 兄...
Wait, are they chanting "Bro"?"?
等等 这格列高利圣咏是在吟唱"兄"字吗
** Bro... *
* 兄...
I got some local monks to record this.
我找了些当地的僧人给我录的
Yeah! I got a monk guy.
没错 我佛教界也有人
Cool, right?
厉害吧
It actually is, yeah.
是蛮厉害的
I'll burn it for you.
我刻张碟给你
Just remind me after The Broath.
"兄言"仪式结束后提醒我就行
Anyway, Ted Evelyn Mosby,
言归正传 泰德·艾弗琳·莫斯比
this ritual forever binds you to keep a solemn secret...
宣誓仪式后 你就要永远为我保守秘密
Which is?
什么秘密
I really like this Quinn girl!
我真的好喜欢昆茵哦
We've been spending tons of time together,
我们最近总是形影不离
and I want the gang to meet her.
我好想带她见见大伙
but I'm afraid they're gonna disapprove because,
不过我又怕其他人会反对 原因...
well, you know.
你懂的
I did know. You see,
我确实懂
Quinn was a stripper...
昆茵是个脱衣舞娘
who had swindled Barney out of quite a bit of cash.
还坑过巴尼不少钱
We're inviting everyone to dinner at Quinn's,
我们打算请大伙来昆茵家吃饭
and I want them to keep an open mind,
我不想大家对她有成见
which brings us to The Broath.
所以才需要你以"兄言"的名义起誓
Place your hand on The Bro Code.
把你的手放在《兄弟法典》上
Yeah, yeah, yeah...
好 好 随便
Repeat after me.
随我复诵
I, Ted Evelyn Mosby...
我 泰德·"艾弗琳"·莫斯比
"I, Ted "Why Did I Ever Tell You My Middle Name" Mosby..."
我 泰德·"跟你说我中间名真蠢"·莫斯比
...solemnly swear not to tell our friends
慎重地起誓 不会给大伙们泄露半句
that Quinn is a stripper.
昆茵是个脱衣舞娘的事
"...solemnly swear not to tell our friends
慎重地起誓 不会给大伙们泄露半句
that Quinn is a stripper" Who duped you out of lots of money.
昆茵是个脱衣舞娘 还坑了你不少钱的事
You're only supposed to repeat after me.
你复诵我说的就行了
"You're only supposed to repeat after me."
你复诵我说的就行了
Stop it. Stop it.
别闹了 别闹了
Silence!
肃静
Look, I know that things started out sketchy with me and Quinn,
我知道我和昆茵一开始不是很顺遂
but I really like her, so please.
但我真的很喜欢她 就行行好吧
Do you,
你
Ted Middle-Name-Omitted Mosby,
泰德·中名省略·莫斯比
swear to uphold this Broath?
愿意发誓永远遵守"兄言"吗
I do.
我愿意
Barney's dating a stripper who's gonna steal all his money!
巴尼跟一个会把他钱骗光光的脱衣舞娘好上了
Okay, time to go to Quinn's. Now remember,
好了 该昆茵家吃饭啦 记住
I told you nothing, okay?
我什么都没说过 知道吗
Barney really wants us all to like her.
巴尼真的很希望我们都喜欢她
But how can we?
怎么可能呀
Quinn totally duped Barney, and he couldn't even see it.
巴尼被人玩弄于股掌之间 还浑然不觉
Well, apparently, the sex is mind-blowing.
显然 昆茵的床技让巴尼忘却了一切
Ha, I've been there. Yeah.
我也有过这种经历 没错
I was once with this chick who answered the door
某个妞开门时
wearing nothing but, uh, whipped cream, a dog collar
上身赤♥裸♥ 涂满奶油 脖戴狗链
and a hot pink thong.
粉红丁字绕股沟
Marshall, you can't tell sex stories about "This chick,"
马修 你不能用"某个妞"来说你的性事
because everyone knows it's me.
因为大家都知道那个妞是我
I'm the only woman you've ever been with.
你这辈子只跟我一个女人爽过
It's not fair, the guys are always telling their sex stories
这不公平 他们都能显摆跟妞的性事
and I can top every one of them.
我有更好的却不能说
Baby, you're like 20 slutty chicks all rolled into one.
宝贝 二十个性感风♥骚♥妞才荟萃成一个风情万种的你
Sweet talk is not going to change my mind.
说再多的甜言蜜语也没用
Let's focus.
别再岔题
Tonight, we want to make sure
今晚 我们得看清
that Quinn is not out to scam Barney.
昆茵到底是不是在骗巴尼的钱
So, when we walk back through that door three hours from now,
所以 当三个小时后重回这里时
we should all be able to answer one simple question:
我们心中都得有个答案
Do we trust this girl?
这女人我们信不信得过
Well, for one thing,
先提一点
she seems kind of controlling.
她控制欲有点儿强
Is it okay if I put out the hummus, bunny face?
要端鹰嘴豆泥出来吗 兔兔宝贝
No, save it for dessert.
不许 留着当甜点
Idiot.
白♥痴♥
More red wine, beauty-swan?
再来点红酒吗 天鹅美妞
She drinks a lot.
她酒量超好
Is it okay if I go pee, sugar lamb? No!
我可以去尿尿吗 甜心小绵羊 不准
You just went three hours ago.
你不是三个小时前刚去尿过吗
You're right, baby bear!
你说得对 熊宝宝
Yes, so Barney's whipped;
那又如何 就算巴尼是妻管严
it doesn't mean that Quinn is a con artist.
也不代表昆茵就是个骗子啊
Well, maybe we could've gotten a better read on her
要不是因为某两个人一直在岔题
if two people hadn't gone off topic.
或许我们会更多机会分♥析♥她了
By the way, Quinn, your apartment is amazing.
顺带一提 昆茵 你这公♥寓♥真不错
Oh, yeah, it's beautiful.
是啊 真漂亮
I'm actually moving out soon.
其实我快要搬了
If you know anyone looking for a sublet,
你们有认识人想租♥房♥♥吗
this place is rent-controlled.
这里有租金管制制度
You would not believe what I pay.
价钱划算到让你们难以置信
Kids, things have been tense
孩子们 那段时间
between Robin and I for weeks.
我和罗宾的关系变得紧张
Ever since she moved out,
她搬走后
and I gave the apartment to Marshall and Lily,
我把公♥寓♥让给了马修和莉莉
I'd been crashing in university housing.
然后自己跑去住大学宿舍
It's 10 o'clock, damn it.
都晚上十点了 我靠
Ned, Martin and Millie,
耐德 马丁和米莉
people are trying to sleep!
有人想好好睡觉呢
Hey, you were young like us once, right?
你年轻时不也这样吗
I was never like you guys.
我年轻时 才不是你们这样
And Robin was staying with her coworker, Patrice.
罗宾则是去她同事帕拉里斯家住
You seem so down today, Robin.
你今天心情好像不太好啊 罗宾
I made you cookies.
我烤了点饼干哦
Damn it, Patrice, stop smothering me!
我靠 帕拉里斯 你想烦死我呀
So, when Quinn said her apartment was available...
因此 当昆茵说出她的公♥寓♥待租的时候...
It's mine! It's mine! It's mine!
我的 我的 我的
Dibs! Dibs! Dibs!
我先 我先 我先
We got off topic? What about Marshall?
岔题的是我们吗 那马修算什么
Hey, I was just going along with
我只是附和那个
whoever suggested we play that game.
提议要玩游戏的人而已
Hey, let's play a game!
大伙们 来玩个游戏吧
Uh, craziest sex-in-public story; I'll start.
来说说"公共场合最刺♥激♥的性♥爱♥经历" 我先说
I was once with this chick
曾经有某个妞
who loved to get freaky in elevators.
她爱在电梯里"性"奋
Doors would close; suddenly,
门一关上 她会突然间
she's panting on all fours like a dog in heat.
四脚着地喘粗气 像只发♥情♥的母狗
Marshall, stop.
马修 别说了
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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