老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S07E14
Part 2
Oct. 22, 2020, 2:18 p.m.
Please tell me you're not plugging that in there.
告诉我你不是要把它插♥进♥去吧
Yes, Mickey, that's exactly what I'm doing.
没错 米奇 我正要这么做
All right, fine. I won't say anything.
好吧 可以 我不会有任何异议
It's... just that this was my room when I was growing up,
只不过 我从小就住在这间房♥
so I know it a little better than you.
所以知道的要比你多一点
Lot of great memories here.
这里充满美好回忆
Mostly just discovering my body.
大部分是关于"探索"我身体的奥秘
That's it.
够了
Mickey, since you got here,
米奇 自从你搬进来
you've been nothing but judgmental and pushy
就什么也看不惯 还自作主张
and strangely obsessed with your adolescent sex life.
还过分沉溺于自己青春期的性生活
Tomorrow morning,
明天早上
you're out of here.
请你从这儿搬走
Well, I-I've just been trying to help you...
我只是想帮助你们
We don't need your help!
我们不需要你帮
I...
我...
Oh, it-it's okay, baby.
没事的 宝贝
It had to be done.
这话总得说出口
Too bad the one person
真遗憾 唯一一个
who could stop you from making mistakes like that
能阻止你们犯这样错误的人
was told he has to move out next month.
竟然被告知下个月必须搬走
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
是明天 明天
Would either of you like a dance?
谁想请我跳支舞呀
I'm always ready to rock.
我随时准备摇头嗨起来
And I'm always ready to roll.
我也随时准备晃脑爽起来
So... So...
那么... 那么...
I'm not ready to rock.
我可没准备摇头
Rolling makes me dizzy.
晃脑会让我头晕眼花
Hell, yeah! Yeah!
管他呢 好啊 太好了
I'm buying my man a lap dance,
我要为我的男人买♥♥一段膝上舞
'cause that's just how I do!
女朋友就该这样
Party like a rock star!
尽情舞动吧
Party like a rock star...
尽情舞动吧
Uh, hey, guys. It's Ted.
伙计们 我是泰德
Um... you're probably busy with the move still.
你们可能还在忙搬家的事
Give me a call if you want to gab.
如果你们想找人扯淡就给我回电
Sorry about using the word "Gab."
抱歉用了"扯淡"这个字眼
Ted, stop pining over Marshall and Lily.
泰德 别再因为马修和莉莉闷闷不乐了
Have some self-respect.
有点自尊心好不好
Now put this fiver in your mouth so...
快咬住这张五块钱 好让...
that stripper with the lazy eye can vacuum it up with...
那个眼神性感的舞娘用那里吸出来...
Barney! Whwhat?
巴尼 干什么
I'm allowed to miss them, okay?
我总有权利想他们吧
They're my two best friends.
他们俩是我最好的朋友
I'm your two best friends!
我才是你最好的朋友
And we're here tonight
而我今晚带你来这里
to show you there's no need to miss something
是为了让你知道 既然有更好的替代品
when you can replace it with something better.
就没必要对以前的东西恋恋不舍了
Gentlemen, say hello to J-J-J-Jasmine!
先生们 欢迎小茉莉出场
Remember her?
还记得她吗
So, a while back, we discovered the most amazing thing:
之前我们发现了一件超棒的事
Lily had a doppelganger
莉莉有位酷似者
who was a Russian stripper.
那人是个俄♥国♥脱衣舞娘
Look at her, Ted.
看看她 泰德
She's just like old, less-good Lily,
她就像年纪大点的蹩脚货莉莉
but instead of bossing us around,
可她不会对我们发号♥施令
she shows us her boobs.
反而会对我们"一泄春光"
No touching.
不许碰
Okay, a little bossing us around.
好吧 还是会有点儿爱发号♥施令
I call her Better Lily.
我管她叫升级版莉莉
Hey, Better Lily, please dance for my friend.
升级版莉莉 请为我朋友跳支舞
Barney, I don't need a lap dance.
巴尼 我不需要膝上舞
I need to talk to my friends.
我要和我的朋友聊天
Who says you can't do both?
谁说你不能鱼与熊掌兼得
Talk to her. She's got ears.
和她聊啊 她又不是没耳朵
Yes, she does have ears.
没错 她的确有耳朵
You want to touch my girlfriend's boobs?
你想摸我女朋友的咪♥咪♥吗
50 bucks.
五十块
Wait-- Better Lily is dating this behemoth?
等等 升级版莉莉在和这个巨兽♥交♥往
Sound like anyone you know?
这形容词会不会让你想起某人
That's New Marshall.
那是全新版马修
This is our gang now.
本帮人齐啦
Hey, guys, Ted again.
伙计们 又是我 泰德
Starting to think you forgot about me.
我开始觉得你们把我遗忘了
Or replaced me with some cool neighbor.
还是某个酷邻居抢走了我的地位
What's his name?!
这小子叫什么名字
I'm totally kidding.
我逗你们玩呢
Anyway, uh...
不管怎样
just trying to remember what your faces look like.
我在努力回忆你们的样子
Ted, when they serve alcohol at a strip club,
泰德 在脱衣舞俱乐部喝酒时
you're not allowed to show your vagina.
给我爷们点儿
100 bucks, and you will see the world, my friend.
朋友 只需一百 裙底风光一览无余
They're already ignoring my calls?
他们已经懒得接我电♥话♥了
Look, I'm realistic.
听着 我这个人很现实
I knew I'd have to get used to going to the dentist alone,
我知道我不得不习惯一个人去看牙医
but I didn't think they'd cut me out completely.
但我还是不觉得他们会把我三振出局
If they don't need us, we don't need them.
如果他们不需要我们 那我们也不需要他们
Yes! Finally!
终于开窍了
By the way, did you see how she opened that bottle?
对了 你看到她是怎么开瓶的吗
Lights out in the suburbs is... is really dark.
在郊区断电 屋里...可真暗啊
Where's the fuse box?
保险丝盒在哪里
I don't know.
不知道
I know where it is.
我知道在哪里
Maybe I could fix it for you, if I wasn't so busy packing.
如果我没在忙着卷铺盖走人的话 或许能帮上忙
You know what?
好吧
I bet the fuse box is in the basement.
我猜保险丝盒在地下室
I'll just... I'll go find it myself.
我...我自己去找
How hard can it be?
能有多费劲
As hard as that desk you just walked into?
和你刚撞上的桌板一样坚硬
Good burn, Mickey.
回击得好 米奇
You deserve a little nightstand fudge for that one.
该奖励你一块床头柜里的软糕
Where do I look?
我该看哪里
I mean, I can't look at her chest.
我不能看她的胸部
Damn it! I just did.
该死 我刚看了
Maybe Robin didn't notice.
或许罗宾没注意到
Man, he's really up in those jugs.
天啊 他还真沉醉在那对大咪♥咪♥里了
Shake it, baby!
动起来 宝贝
A player's gotta play!
好戏要上场了
This is weird.
真奇怪
I'll just look her in the eyes.
我还是看她的眼睛吧
Is he falling in love with this stripper?
他难不成爱上这个脱衣舞娘了
Quick, do something cool.
快 要表现出无所谓
Make it rain, son!
哥哥 好豪气呀
Money ain't no thang!
老子不在乎钱
Damn it, there was a 20 in there.
靠 里面有张二十块
Hello, Mr. Eriksen.
你好 埃里克森先生
From the sound of the wind chimes,
根据风铃♥声♥来判断
I hear you've made it to the first floor.
你已经到了一楼
Okay... you know what, Mickey.
好吧 米奇
You can save the creepy game master routine.
省省你恐怖游戏大♥师♥那套吧
It's only kind of terrifying me.
它只吓唬到我一丁点而已
Oh, but the game has just begun.
可游戏才刚开始
I call it "Try Not to Bang into All the Furniture and Stuff
我管它叫"马修 在去地下室修保险丝盒的路上
on Your Way to the Fuse Box in the Basement, Marshall."
要尽量避免撞上家具和杂物"
That's just a working title.
这只是暂用名而已
Got a little boob glitter on your eyebrow, Mac Daddy.
你的眉毛上粘了咪♥咪♥亮粉 皮条客
Straight pimpin'.
人在江湖飘 哪能不挨刀
Barney, you got a little bit, too.
巴尼 你脸上也有
Where?
哪里
Did I get it?
弄下来了吗
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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