老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）

How I Met Your Mother S07E17

Part 3 Oct. 22, 2020, 2:19 p.m.

Pay up.
给钱
Not yet.
未成定局
We are at the wedding.
我们已经在婚礼上了
Pay up.
给钱
Not yet.
未成定局
Damn it.
我靠
I can't believe you guys!
你俩真是难以置信
I got left at the alter,
我的新娘落跑了
and all you cared about was some stupid bet?
你们却惦记着什么狗屁赌约
I never stopped rooting for you, but I...
我一直都支持着你但是我...
Ted, I'm not rooting against you.
泰德我不是跟你唱反调
I just don't think Robin's the girl you marry.
我只是觉得罗宾不是你命中注定的那个人
That's why I made the stupid bet to begin with.
所以我才会打这个愚蠢的赌
I mean, yes, it's five years later,
没错五年过去了
and you haven't settled down with anyone else,
你还是孑然一身
but you haven't settled down with Robin, either.
但你也没有和罗宾终成眷属
There must be a reason for that.
这肯定是有原因的
What's standing in the way?
是什么阻碍了你俩
God...
主啊
if you help me find this sex tape,
如果你帮我找到性♥爱♥录像
I am going to make some changes in my life.
我定会洗心革面重做人
I am going to stop sleeping around,
我不再四处泡妞
quit drinking so much, no more shenanigans.
少喝点酒不再恶作剧
I am going to devote my entire life
我会奉献我的一生
to doing good deeds, and praising your name.
行善事颂主名
Is this what you're looking for, Mr. Barney?
你在找这个吗巴尼先生
Never mind, bro. Found it.
刚说的不算啊兄弟找到了
I found it!
我找到了
Sweet glory hallelujah, I found it, Ted.
哈利路亚上帝保佑我找到了泰德
You're the only idiot I know who still owns a VCR,
就你这个傻蛋还有录像机
so you are the lucky winner of the
所以你就是那位
"Who gets to sit next to me and watch our best friends
"有幸能坐在我身边观看好友疯狂激战"的
go bananas all over each other"" Sweepstakes.
唯一幸运观众啦
To the outdated viewing device!
过时的观片设备万岁
And then I realized why Robin and I
我突然就明白了
hadn't gotten back together in the last five years.
为什么我和罗宾这五年都没有复合
Oh, my God.
天啊
Robin's in love with you.
罗宾还爱着你
I can't believe I didn't see it before.
真不敢相信之前我没发现
Robin is in love with you.
罗宾还爱着你
No, she's not. Trust me.
不不可能相信我
Yes, she is.
她还爱你
Something happened between you guys.
你们之间肯定有事发生
That's why you broke up with Nora.
所以你才会和诺拉分手
That night, I saw you in her room,
那晚我看见你在她房♥里
there were rose petals, candles...
玫瑰花瓣蜡烛摇曳
You saw that?
你看到了
Well, then, maybe you also saw
那或许你也看到
those rose petals and candles going into a garbage bag.
玫瑰花瓣和蜡烛最后都被扔掉了吧
And then Barney told me everything.
后来巴尼把一切都告诉了我
How he and Robin hooked up.
他和罗宾如何重燃旧情
How he broke up with Nora to be with her.
为了和罗宾在一起他和诺拉分手
How he thought she would do the same for him.
他认为罗宾也会为了他这么做
How she broke his heart.
结果罗宾却伤透了他的心
She chose Kevin.
她选择了凯文
It hurt, but...
我是伤心但是...
I guess they're in love.
我猜他们深爱着彼此
They broke up last night.
他们昨晚分手了
Bummer.
太可惜了
Anyway, let's make our own bets about this sex tape.
先不说这个我们就性♥爱♥录像打赌吧
I've got Marshall with a surprise piercing
马修那里有个雷人的穿洞
at five-to-one odds,
赌金一赔五
Lily with a landing strip, ten-to-one,
莉莉有个无毛的"鲍鱼" 一赔十
Marshall with a landing strip, even money.
马修有条无毛的"香肠" 还是一赔十
I don't believe this.
真是不敢相信
You were in love with Robin,
你曾爱着罗宾
you find out she's single, and your reaction is "Bummer"?
你知道她单身后你居然说"太可惜了"
What do you want me to say, Ted?
那我应该说什么泰德
Whatever I thought was there,
我和罗宾的想法
she thought differently.
截然不同
So... no, I don't care that Robin is single again.
她单不单身和我没关系
So if Robin started dating someone else, you wouldn't mind?
所以如果罗宾和别人约会你不会介意咯
Nope.
不介意
Even if that somebody else was me?
即使和她约会的人是我
Even if that somebody else was you.
即使和她约会的人是你
Really? Really.
真的真的
Hey, bros before hos, right?
兄弟如手足女人如衣服
No matter how mad she made me,
不管她曾怎样伤透我的心
Robin's still my bro.
罗宾还是我的兄弟
And if, uh, you make her happy,
如果你能让她幸福
then that makes me happy.
我也会很开心
Barney, you've really grown up, you know that?
巴尼你真的成熟了
Thanks.
谢谢
Now let's watch our two best friends have sex on tape.
那我们一起来观摩好友的性♥爱♥录像吧
I'll make the popcorn.
我去弄点爆米花
Don't watch that tape!
别看那卷带子
Watch that tape!
看看看
Well, sorry, I just really want to win the bet.
抱歉我真的很想打赢这赌
And here we go.
好戏即将开场
O-okay. Okay, fine, Barney.
好好吧巴尼
Watch our dirty little home movie,
你可以欣赏我们的家庭小黄♥片♥
but be forewarned, at about the one minute mark,
不过先警告一下在影片一分钟时
you're going to see me make this face.
你会看到我做这个表情
Oh, God, that's the face you made
天啊这不是你那天
the day we rode motorcycles. Yeah.
骑摩托车时的表情吗没错
Yeah. You really want to see that?
没错你想看吗
A-and do you want to hear me go, uh...
而且你想听到我这么叫
It can't sound like that. It can't.
不可能是这声音吧不可能吧
I know that noise, I've heard it through the walls.
我记得这声音当时是从墙的那边传过来的
I thought the neighbors had a sick cat.
我还以为邻居家养了一只病猫呢
Okay, but, Barney, just remember,
可是巴尼要知道
you'll also be seeing a lot of this:
你也会看到不少这样的情景
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
哦也哦也
It's this, but I'm not pregnant.
就像这样只不过小腹平坦
My skin is loose, like an elephant.
我皮松肉塌堪比大象
My boobs are perky and plump.
我玉峰娇挺酥胸荡漾
I slobber like a confused old dog.
我口水涟涟如同老狗
I slap my own ass. I slap my own ass!
我激♥情♥拍翘臀我使劲扇肥臀
Barney...
巴尼
that was my VCR.
那可是我的录像机
Ted...
泰德
it was a VCR.
录像机早该入土了
A week later, Robin's plane landed.
一周后罗宾回来了
And I was there to meet her at the airport.
我去机场接她
She told me all about her trip.
她跟我分享此行的趣闻
And we has dinner at the restaurant we haven't been to for a long time.
我们还去了许久未光临的餐馆吃饭
And by the end of the night, one thing had become clear:
随着时间的推移我越发清楚地意识到
It's not going to happen, is it?
咱们之间不可能了对吧
I'm sorry.
抱歉
It's because of Barney.
是因为巴尼吧
What?
什么
No.
不
Barney and I... we...
巴尼和我我们
No. No. It's just...
不不是的只是
You know, things have just been so crazy lately.
最近发生的事都太荒唐了
Everything in my life is... unstable.
我生活中的一切都显得那么...不牢靠
I mean, you're one of the few things that I can count on.
你是为数不多能让我有安全感的人
And... I really don't want to mess that up.
而且我真的不想让这份情变质
We-we... we still have our deal, right?
我们之前的约定还算数对吧
If we're both still... single when we're 40?
如果我们到了四十岁还单身的话