老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S07E12
Part 2
Oct. 22, 2020, 2:18 p.m.
Vaginal numbing spray.
阴♥道♥镇痛麻醉喷雾
Apparently, after child birth,
显然 生完孩子后
your hoo-ha looks like Rocky Balboa's face.
你的阴♥道♥就跟拳王洛奇的脸一样伤痕累累
You can't have a baby! I can't have a baby!
你不能生小孩 我不能生小孩
The next day, we went to the doctor.
第二天 我们去看了医生
Well, Mrs. Scherbatsky,
是这样 特布罗斯基太太
I'm sure that you and your husband...
我肯定 你和你丈夫
Uh, he's not my husband.
他不是我丈夫
Oh, I'm so sorry.
真对不起
Your boyfriend then.
那就是你的男友
He's not my boyfriend.
他不是我男友
Oh, bozhe.
我晕啊
All right, well, I will just cut to the chase.
那好 我就开门见山说吧
Wait! Wait.
等等 等等
All right.
好吧
Okay.
好了
All right, we're ready. Good.
好 准备好了 很好
You are not pregnant.
你 没怀孕
Yeah!
太好了
Oh, yeah! Yeah!
太棒了 就是
That's what I'm talking about!
我就说哪有这么容易中奖呀
Yeah, you know, you know!
对 你知道 你知道
Again, sorry kids.
再次抱歉 孩子们
Hey, mister.
先生
Are you putting up all these Christmas lights?
你准备把这些圣诞灯全挂上吗
Oh, kid, by the time I'm done,
小子 等我一旦完工
you're gonna be able to see this son of a bitch from outer space.
就算你在外太空 也能看到我的惊世之作
Ah, cool.
真酷
I wanted to put lights on our house,
我想在我们家房♥子上装彩灯
but my dad says he's too busy with work and stuff.
可我爸爸不是忙着工作 就是忙别的事情
Hey, what do you say, uh, you come back here next weekend
要不这样吧 你下周末来我家
and help me out?
给我打打下手
Yeah!
好
You've got yourself a deal.
就这么说定了
I'm Scott.
我叫斯科特
I'm... Mr. Eriksen.
我是埃里克森先生
Thanks, Mr. E.
谢谢 埃先生
Mr. E.
埃先生
Looks like some little scamp just earned the right
看来某个小鬼刚赢得
to put the Vikings helmet on baby Jesus.
给小耶稣戴上维京队头盔的殊荣
Later that week, as I was enjoying every second
后来几天 在我尽情享受
of not being pregnant...
没有怀孕的每一刻时
Next on Teenage Mommies...
下集《少女妈咪》预告...
But you said you would watch Bella.
可你说你会看好贝拉
I have cheerleading practice.
我还要去拉拉队训练呢
Sucks to be you, Braces.
还好我不象你 布雷斯
Yello!
你好哟
Uh, yeah, I can come back in.
好 我可以去复诊
Robin, we ran some tests last week.
罗宾 我们上周做了几项检测
This is going to be difficult to hear.
我知道这会让你很难接受
And then the doctor said a bunch of medical stuff that...
然后医生说了一堆医学术语...
well, the gist of it was this.
反正重点是这句话
I can't have a baby.
我不能生孩子
No. You can't have a baby.
对 你不能生孩子
Uh, great.
太好了
Uh, well, I mean, um, not-not great.
我是说 其实也没那么好
I mean, I've never wanted kids,
反正我从来都不想生孩子
so if it has to happen to someone...
如果这事发生在别人身上的话就...
Robin, is there anyone you can talk to about this?
罗宾 你有可以倾诉的对象吗
Perhaps a close friend?
或许跟好友说一下
I knew I could have talked to my friends.
我知道我能找朋友倾诉
But, it's just, I already knew
可我已经料想到
exactly how they would all react.
他们的种种反应了
Ted would go into overdrive trying to make me feel better.
为了哄我开心 泰德会大费周章
You need comfort food.
你要吃点舒心美食
Fried chicken, mac and cheese, mashed potatoes.
炸鸡 汉堡配芝士 土豆泥
Open your present, I'll work on these shoulders.
打开礼物 我来给你揉肩
Okay, just breathe, relax, eat your chicken.
好了 深呼吸 放轻松 吃鸡
Come on, eat, breathe,
快 吃 吸气
open it, breathe, open it, eat.
开礼物 呼气 开啊 快吃
Robin, why are you so tense?!
罗宾 你怎么那么紧绷呀
Lily would just implode.
莉莉会悲痛欲绝
And here I've been going on and on about babies.
而我居然还不停地唠叨孩子的事
Oh, I am such a bad friend!
我真不够朋友
And I'd wind up comforting her.
最后搞得我要反过来安慰她
It's okay.
没事的
You have to punch me in the face!
你就冲我脸狠劲来一拳吧
Marshall would ask me a ton of questions
马修会问我一大堆
I don't know the answers to.
我自己都无法回答的问题
Have you thought about adoption? Um, well...
你考虑过收养吗 这个...
Does this kind of thing run in your family?
你这是家族遗传的不孕不育吗
What was the date, duration
你上次经期是几号♥
and consistency of your last period?
持续了多久 周期稳定吗
And your father would bend over backwards
而你们老爸会使劲浑身解数
trying to make me laugh.
博我一笑
A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar--
一个牧师和一个犹太法师走进一家酒吧
no, a barbershop-- no, a post office--
不 是家理发店 不 是邮局
no, it's two priests-- no, it's two ducks--
不 是两个牧师 不 是两只鸭子
no, a priest holding a duck-- and he's Polish.
不 是一个牧师抱着一只鸭子 是个波兰种
The priest, not the duck.
我是说牧师是波兰人 不是鸭子
Actually, the duck could be Polish, too.
其实鸭子也可以是波兰鸭
Doesn't matter.
不过这没关系
Yes it does. The duck's not Polish.
当然有关系 鸭子不是波兰鸭
And when that didn't work,
如果还不能让我笑的话
he would actually bend over backwards.
他真的会使尽"浑身"解数
Pratfall!
屁♥股♥开花
The bottom line is, I didn't feel like talking about it.
归根到底 我就是不想跟人倾诉
So when Ted asked...
所以当泰德问起
Hey, Robin, you okay? You look upset.
罗宾 你没事吧 你看起来很低落
I just came up with the first lie that popped into my head.
我当时脱口而出撒了一个谎
Yeah. Uh...
是啊
I just found out I can never...
我发现我永远也无法
be a pole-vaulter for the Canadian Olympic team.
成为加拿大国奥队的撑竿跳选手
I'm too tall or something.
可能我太高了吧
Robin, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Robin.
罗宾 太遗憾了 真是可惜 罗宾
I had no idea. That's terrible.
我居然不知情 太糟糕了
Can we get some fried chicken over here, stat!
给我们上点烤鸡肉 快
I am such a bad friend!
我真是不够朋友
Three slutty nuns show up at St. Peter's--
三个放荡的修女出现在圣彼得
Wait, wait, they're not slutty.
慢着 她们不放荡
Well, they are, but you're not supposed to know that yet.
她们的确很放荡 不过不应该一开始就告诉你
Hey, baby, what's up?
亲爱的 什么事
Hey, uh, listen, the construction of
听着 搭建
the Symphony of Illumination is taking
"光之交响乐"的进度
a little longer than I thought.
比我想象中慢
Good thing I have Scott here to help me.
幸好我有斯科特帮忙
Right, Scott?
对吧 斯科特
You betcha, Mr. E!
当然啦 埃先生
Bad news.
坏消息
Robin's too tall to be an Olympic pole-vaulter.
罗宾因为身高过高 当不了国奥撑杆跳选手
Has she filed an appeal with the IOC?
她向国际奥林匹克委员会提出申诉了吗
Have you filed an appeal with the IOC?
你向国际奥林匹克委员会提出申诉了吗
Can she make herself shorter by slouching?
她能弯腰曲背让自己矮点吗
Can you make yourself shorter by slouching?
你能弯腰曲背让自己矮点吗
Has she considered going back to school
她考虑过回学校
and competing at the collegiate level?
参加大学级别的比赛吗
Have you considered going back to school and...
你考虑过回学校参加...
I don't want to talk about it.
我现在不想讨论这个
Sorry.
对不起
I love you, baby. See you tomorrow.
我爱你 宝贝 明儿见
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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