老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S07E08
Part 1
Oct. 22, 2020, 2:16 p.m.
Kids, for years, your Uncle Barney had reveled in mocking
孩子们 多年来 巴尼叔叔一直乐此不疲地嘲笑
Aunt Robin's Canadian heritage.
罗宾阿姨是加拿大人这件事
To have to grow up in Canada...
美国近在咫尺
with America right there.
却不得不在加拿大长大
It's like an entire country without a tailor.
好像这整个国家 都没个裁缝
Why? Why do we let you be a country?!
苍天啊 我们怎么会让你们成为一个国家呢
But all that was about to change.
但是这一切将被逆转
Guys, I have a very important announcement to make.
各位 我有个重要的消息要公布
I was on Facebook.
我开始玩Facebook啦
Nobody cool's on Facebook anymore.
Facebook早就落伍了
Well, you know who is on Facebook now?
好吧 你知道还有谁玩Facebook吗
Everybody's parents.
我们的父母
And I just happen to be friends with Barney's
我碰巧跟巴尼失散多年的父亲
longlost father, Mr. Jerome Whitaker. Me, too.
杰罗姆·惠特克先生 成为了好友 我也是
He's gotten really good at Bejeweled Blitz.
他玩宝石迷阵 绝对是行家
And guess who thought my status update about Manitoba
猜猜是谁觉得我更新的那条关于曼尼托巴的状态
was so interesting
非常有意思
because his mother was born in Manitoba?
因为他的母亲出生于曼尼托巴
What?
什么
Which means your grandmother...
这就意味着 你的祖母是...
No...
不要
Which makes you...
意味着你...
Don't say it!
别说出来
...one-quarter Canadian!
是四分之一的加拿大人
Welcome to the tribe, hoser!
祖国欢迎你 加佬
No...
不
it's not true!
这不是真的
That's impossible!
这决不可能
Once upon a time at a Halloween party,
多年前 在某个万圣节派对上
I met a girl dressed like a pumpkin...
我遇见一个穿着南瓜装的女孩
a slutty pumpkin.
淫♥荡♥南瓜妹
And she was extraordinary.
这个女孩很特别
But she gave me her number on a Kit Kat bar,
但她把电♥话♥写在一条巧克力威化上
which was tragically given away as Halloween candy.
悲剧地被我当万圣节糖果送人了
So every year I return to that same party
所以每年我都会重回同一个派对
hoping I'd see her again.
希望能再次遇见她
But with every passing October,
但随着每一年十月的过去
that hope grew a little dimmer.
这希望越发渺茫
Then one day, after ten years of searching...
经过十年的苦苦追寻 终于有一天
Oh, my God.
我的天
The slutty pumpkin.
淫♥荡♥南瓜妹
This might sound creepy,but...
这听起来可能有点诡异 但
do you have a record of who rented it in 2001?
您这还存有2001年的租借记录吗
Wow, that was easy.
真是得来全不费功夫呀
You're not the first lovelorn young man
你不是第一个因相思病
to walk through that door.
而走进我店里的年轻人
Three girls got proposals off
我妻子的淫♥荡♥洋蓟装
my wife's slutty artichoke costume.
成功把三个女孩送进婚姻殿堂
Two others disappeared,
另外两个送进失踪人口堂
but I focus on the positive.
不过我只往好的方面想
I couldn't believe it.
我真不敢相信
I actually had her address.
我手里拿着的是她的地址
I knew I had to play this right.
我知道我得从长计议
It's not like I could just walk up and knock on her door.
不能就这么鲁莽地登门造访
Hi, you probably don't remember me, but...
嗨 你大概不记得我了 但
Halloween, ten years ago.
十年前的万圣节
Now that's a slow play.
这真是十年等一回啊
The next day, Lily and Marshall headed out
第二天 莉莉和马修外出
to Lily's grandparents for dinner.
去莉莉祖父母家吃晚餐
Marshall loved it out in the 'burbs.
马修热爱郊区
Look how many fireflies I caught!
瞧 我抓了好多萤火虫
Don't forget to poke holes in the jar this time.
这次记得要在罐子上戳气孔哦
Now we have a nice surprise for you.
接下来 我们要给你们一个大惊喜
Whatever it is, we're saying no.
无论是什么 我们都要拒绝
What? You know what.
为什么 明知故问
Every time we're here,
每次我们来这儿
my grandparents stick us with some big old piece of junk
他们都把自己不要的破烂硬塞给咱们
they're getting rid of.
那些玩意儿过时又占地
It's like the world's worst Showcase Showdown.
这好比史上最烂的《超级大派送》
It's a perfectly usable lawnmower!
这台割草机 好用得不得了哦
We live in an apartment!
我们住的可是公♥寓♥
But maybe someday when we move to the suburbs...
但也许某天 当我们搬到郊区就...
We're never moving to the suburbs!
绝对不可能
And you also get...
你们还将得到
this skinny microphone!
这个苗条麦克风
Before we head out to our place in Florida,
在我们搬去佛罗里达之前
we wanted to give our favorite granddaughter
我们想送最爱的外孙女
a little something.
一份小小的礼物
Ooh, it's so small. I love it!
果然够小 我喜欢
A key? We're giving you the house.
一把钥匙 我们把房♥子送给你
Lily, I know you've always hated the suburbs...
莉莉 我知道你一直不喜欢郊区
We'll take it!
那我们就不客气啦
For my first date with the slutty pumpkin,
和淫♥荡♥南瓜妹的第一次约会
I took her someplace special.
我带她去了个特别的地方
Ted, this is so romantic.
泰德 这太浪漫了
The spot where we first met ten years ago.
这是我们十年前 第一次相遇的屋顶
Do you remember the song that was playing that night?
你还记得那晚放的歌♥吗
I remember how beautiful you looked.
我只记得你那天有多美
** It's been one week since you looked at me *
* 你我相见 已过一周
** Cocked your head to the side and said, "I'm angry." *
* 摇头晃脑 说你生气
Is that, uh, the Barenaked Ladies, huh?
裸体淑女合唱团的歌♥ 对吧
** Five days since you laughed at me *
* 你笑话我 已过五天
** Saying, "Get that together. Come back and see me." *
* 对我说道 家伙带齐 回来见我
Kids, it took me ten years, but I finally kissed her.
孩子们 我苦苦等候了10年 才吻上她的双唇
And it was...
那感觉...
terrible.
糟透了
Lily, you hate the suburbs.
莉莉 你讨厌郊区
I know, but my grandparents giving us a house
我知道 可就在孩子即将诞生之际
right when the baby's on the way?
我的祖父母把房♥子送给我们
It's perfect timing.
这时机也太天衣无缝了吧
This is great.
这太棒了
I'm finally gonna be able to barbecue with proper ventilation.
我终于可以在通风良好的地方烧烤了
Marshall!
马修
We're moving to the suburbs, baby!
我们要搬去郊区啦 宝贝
Okay.
好吧
Baby, you're not moving to the suburbs.
宝贝 你们不能搬去郊区
Why not?
为什么
Lily is only agreeing to all this
莉莉之所以会同意
because of Pregnancy Brain.
是因为她有孕期犯傻症
Pregnancy Brain? That's not a thing.
孕期犯傻症 哪有这种症状
It's totally a thing.
绝对有
Her brain is marinating in a cocktail of hormones,
她的大脑现在被泡在满是荷尔蒙
mood swings and jacked-up nesting instincts.
情绪波动 以及筑巢本能日渐高涨的鸡尾酒里
I mean, yes, right now Lily is a goddess
没错 此时莉莉是个女神
bestowing the miracle of life,
孕育着生命的奇迹
but damn, she dumb!
可现在的她 就像个傻货
Well, I have noticed some stuff.
我也注意到了一些端倪
I can't find my keys or wallet anywhere!
我到处都找不到我的钥匙和钱包
I found them...
我找到了
here in the freezer.
就在冰箱里
Hey, but where are the ice cube trays?
可是制冰格去哪儿了
No idea.
不知道
Those poor ice cubes!
可怜的小冰块
I guess she has been a little off lately.
我想她最近脑子有点短路吧
A little? She just texted me
只有一点吗 她刚给我发短♥信♥
wanting directions back from the bathroom.
问我从洗手间回来的路怎么走
We're over here!
我们在这儿呢
You're doing great, sweetie!
做得好 亲爱的
That moron should not be making big life decisions right now.
那傻子不该在这时候做出任何重大决策
If you let her move to the suburbs,
你要是让她搬到郊区
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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