老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S07E08
Part 2
Oct. 22, 2020, 2:16 p.m.
it would be like taking advantage
就好比占一个手无寸铁
of a helpless drunk chick.
又喝得烂醉的小妞的便宜
What? Where?!
什么 哪里
Oh, I got a girlfriend, right.
对哦 我有女朋友了 真没劲
Baby, we should put off moving
宝贝 搬家的事先缓缓
Why? Because I think the pregnancy is
为什么 因为我觉得怀孕
affecting your judgment.
影响了你的判断力
No, Marshall, this is an amazing opportunity
没有的事 马修 我们一定要利用好
that we have to take advantage of!
这个天赐良机呀
Just because my body is growing a fungus...
不能因为我肚子里怀了一个菌儿
Fetus.
是胎儿
...doesn't mean that my metal factories...
就意味着我的智厂...
Mental faculties.
是智商
...are in any way funicular.
会有所缆车[闪失]
No idea.
完全猜不出来
This is nice. What is this?
味道不错 这是什么酒
Canadian whiskey.
加拿大威士忌
I want scotch!
我要的是苏格兰威士忌
American scotch from Scotland!
美国的威士忌 源自苏格兰
Get that swill away from me!
把这泔水给我撤走
Why are you doing this to me?
你为什么对我搞小动作
You have been ripping on Canada
自打贾斯汀·比伯出娘胎的那刻起
since Justin Bieber was knee-high to a snow blower.
你就开始嘲笑加拿大人了
So now this Canuck's gonna beat on you
所以现在这个加拿大人要像
like the drummer from Yukon Blonde hopped up on Timbits.
刘欢踩绿豆糕那样 把你整得稀巴烂
How was your big date
你的重要约会如何
with the Snuffy Tuffkin?
跟那个郁闷囊瓜妹来电吗
The Sniffy Napkin?
高傲餐巾妹
The Slouchy Foreskin?
懒散包皮妹
Lily tie-tie.
莉莉累累
It was good... ish.
挺好...挺一般
Look, there's Orion's Belt.
瞧 猎户座腰带
Why does holding hands feel this weird?
手拉手的感觉怎么那么奇怪
Should our fingers not intertwine?
我们手能不这么扣在一起吗
What's causing that pinching feeling?
怎么有种手被夹痛的感觉
I'll just cup her hand.
我攥住她的手好了
There. That's...
就这样 这样...
not great.
也不舒服
Her hair's up my nose.
她的头发捂住我的鼻子
Her shoulder's jabbing into my windpipe.
她的肩膀戳住我的气管
Maybe if we reposition.
还是换个姿势吧
I have to say something.
我得把我的感觉说出来
She must be feeling it, too.
她一定也感同身受
This feels so right.
感觉真好
We fit like two puzzle pieces.
我们就像两片完美契合的拼图
Yeah.
对
Ted, I know you've waited ten years for this girl,
泰德 我知道你等了这个女孩十年
but some things just aren't meant to be.
可你俩未必是天赐良缘
Not so fast.
先别急着下定论
At the end of the night,when I leaned in
那晚接近尾声的时候 我靠过去
and somehow accidentally kissed her open eyeball,
虽然结果只亲着她眼珠子
there was a slight flicker of something
我却发现有火光小闪
I might even call chemistry...
这就是所谓的爱火吧
adjacent.
类似爱情
Thank you.
谢谢
Wait.
等等
Where is my cash?
我的钱呢
Oh, yeah,
这不是嘛
I did a little exchange for ya, Canucklehead.
我帮你换了点零钱 加国人
This Canadian dollar here is called a "loonie."
这种加拿大钱币呢 叫"卢尼"
And this two-dollar coin? A "toonie." True story.
这个两元的硬币呢 叫"突尼" 没骗你哦
It's federal currency
这可是国家货币
and you people talk about it
你们起的名字居然和
like it's a Hannah- Barbera character.
汉娜-芭芭拉的动画人物一样
Not you people, Barney.
不是你们 巴尼
Our people.
是我们
Even though my first date with Naomi
虽然我和娜奥米的第一次约会
was a little awkward,
有点小尴尬
our second date was a lot awkward.
想不到第二次约会 尴尬度直线破表
This is the worst kissing of all time!
这是有史以来最烂的接吻
How could she possibly be into this?
她怎么可能会喜欢这样
She sounds like those cows in
她的声音就像牛被
Temple Grandin's hug machines.
坦普·葛兰汀设计的拥抱机夹紧了一样
Do you want to listen to some music?
你想听点音乐吗
Uh-huh!
好啊
Ted, this is our song.
泰德 这是我们的歌♥
Let's make love to this song.
让我们在歌♥声中做♥爱♥吧
** Chickety China, the Chinese chicken *
* 唵嘛呢叭咪吽 俺把你来蒙
** Have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'*
* 鸡腿一下肚 脑子就短路
Yeah, I just gotta run to the bathroom.
那个 我要去厕所
** Watchin' X-Files with no lights on, we're dans la maison. *
* 《X档案》关灯看 窝在家里真带感
Hey, doofus!
嘿 呆瓜
It's me, you at age 15.
是我 十五岁的你
And we made a deal we would always boink
我们曾有过协议 要推倒
any chick that wants to boink us!
任何想推倒我们的妞儿
Yes, she's beautiful,
对 她很漂亮
it's just there's no connection there.
不过我们之间没有感觉
I don't feel intimate with her.
我那儿对她不来电
"Intimate"? Let me remind you of some things
"来电" 那我来提醒你
you did feel "intimate" with when you were 15:
15岁的时候 你那儿对什么东西来电
a catcher's mitt,
棒球手套
an oven mitt, a glass of warm water,
微波炉手套 一杯热水
a half-open hide-a-bed sofa, a top-loading VCR!
可折叠成沙发床 顶开式录像机
It's not gonna happen!
我不会跟她滚床单的
Come on!
拜托
It'll take, like, 30 seconds!
快枪手30秒就能搞定哦
Naomi, listen...
娜奥米 听我说
You like that, Ted?
你喜欢吗 泰德
Do you like it when I caress your hair?
你喜欢我爱抚你的头发吗
Your hair is so nice to caress.
你的头发爱抚起来好柔顺
Why is she saying that word?
她为什么要用那个词
I like to caress your hair.
我喜欢爱抚你的头发
There it is again!
又来了
"Caress!" Who says that?
"爱抚" 谁会用这个词啊
Caress.
爱抚
The thing is, I like her, okay?
问题是 我喜欢她
I really, really like her.
我真的非常喜欢她
I just don't seem to like anything she says or does.
我只是不喜欢她的一言一行
I have to break up with her, don't I?
我必须和她分手 对吧
Yes! After you sleep with her, yes
对 对 睡了再分
Marshall, I've been thinking about what you said.
马修 我一直在考虑你说的话
You're right, we shouldn't move to the suburbs.
你说得对 我们不应该搬到郊区
Let's not make any huge life decisions right now.
重大的人生决定还是日后再议吧
Is this because you tried to make waffles
是因为今早你想用笔记本电脑
with the laptop this morning?
做华夫饼吗
Anyway, I'm gonna call a real estate broker
总之 我要叫一个地♥产♥经纪人
to come look at the house tomorrow.
明天来看♥房♥♥子
Oh, by the way,
对了
I ordered those Minnesota Vikings drapes.
我订了明尼苏达维京窗帘
You're right, they're totally gonna class up our apartment.
你说得对 我们公♥寓♥立马显得档次不一样了
Okay, yes. It's wrong to bang a drunk chick.
没错 占烂醉小妞的便宜确不对
But you're an idiot if you don't get,like,
但是如果不趁机捞一点点好处
a little something.
那我岂不是跟她一样傻
Yo, Canada.
喂 加拿大
What? Dammit!
什么 我靠
Ha, you answer to "Canada" now.
你潜意识开始认同"加拿大"了
I'll make you a deal.
我们做个交易吧
You wear this costume to the Halloween party tomorrow night,
明晚你穿这件衣服 去参加万圣节派对
I'll drop it forever.
我就永远不提这事
You can't be serious.
你开玩笑呢吧
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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