老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S07E06
Part 1
Oct. 22, 2020, 2:16 p.m.
By the fall of 2011, technology had taken
2011年的秋天 随着科技的进步
a lot of the intrigue out of life.
人们的日常信息变得公开化
The Internet had everyone's wall of information.
互联网上每个人都有一堵信息墙
Nothing was a mystery anymore.
世上无秘事 只要会人肉
But, kids, there was a time before that,
但是 孩子们 曾几何时
way back in the dark ages.
在那遥远的黑暗时期
Are you people insane?!
你们都疯了吗
The most popular food in America is the cheeseburger!
美国最受欢迎的食物是芝士汉堡
No way! It's pizza!
胡说 是披萨
Are we forgetting about a certain Mr. Furter,
我们是不是忘了某位福特先生
first name Frank?
他名叫弗兰克[指法兰克福香肠]
Um, what did every kid bring in their lunchbox
小孩子在八年级之前
every day till grade eight?
每天午餐盒里带的是什么
Pancakes with maple syrup.
煎饼加枫糖浆
Thanks, Canada.
省省吧 加国人
We're looking for a food the average American eats.
我们说的是大多数美国人都吃什么
Yeah. Yeah.
没错 没错
Chinese food.
中餐
And then came the smartphone.
后来智能手♥机♥问世
Hey, remember when we were arguing about
还记得我们当年对最受欢迎的食物
the most popular food?
争论不休吗
It's bread.
答案是面包
And the barroom debate was dead.
酒吧间的争论声消失殆尽
You guys are idiots!
你们俩白♥痴♥
Okay, not completely dead.
好吧 没完全消失
You are seriously telling me
你们真不打算
you don't want to open that envelope
拆开那个信封
and find out if you're having a boy or a girl?
看看是男孩还是女孩吗
Nope. Dr. Sonya only gave us this
不 桑娅医生把这个给我们
in case we wanted to know.
是以备我们好奇之需
But we don't.
可我们并不好奇
Lilypad and I are just gonna wait till that baby pops out
小莲叶和我打算等到孩子出世的那天
and enjoy the big surprise.
享受喜出望外的感觉
Look, I have pretended to be a licensed therapist enough times to know
假扮执照心理医师的多次经验告诉我
there is something unhealthy about your not wanting to find out.
你们不好奇的心理是不健康的
Back me up here, Kev. No, no, no, no, no.
你说是吧 凯文 不不不
This real therapist won't risk upsetting
真正的心理医师不会冒着
his wonderful new girlfriend
惹怒完美新女友的危险
by analyzing her wonderful friends.
去分♥析♥她完美的朋友们
No matter how mentally unbalanced they may be.
不管他们有多神经错乱
I hear you.
我懂你意思
I don't think you do.
我看你没懂
We just don't want to burden our little angel
我们只是不想让那些性别预测
with all kinds of gender-specific expectations.
给未出世的小天使造成负担
Boys can do ballet; girls can play football.
男孩也能跳芭蕾 女孩也能踢足球
Hell, the Green Bay Packers have been proving that for years.
绿湾包装工队多年来的成绩已经说明了这一点
That would've gotten a big laugh at a sports bar.
这要是在球吧 肯定已经笑声一片了
Well, I say define gender roles early.
要我说 还是早点知道性别的好
All the other girls got a pretty dress
别的女孩14岁生日的时候
and a cake when they turned 14.
都收到漂亮的裙子和蛋糕
Me...
而我...
I want to go home, Daddy!
我想回家 爸爸
That direction is nothing but wolves.
那个方向只有野狼出没
And 40 kilometers that way is the mining town of Smithers.
这边40公里外是史密瑟斯采矿镇
I'd take my chances with the wolves.
要是我 会去有狼的这边
I'll see you in three days.
我们三天后见吧
Well, wait, wh-what am I supposed to eat?
等等 那我吃什么
Hey, you've got a knife, the forest is full of animals--
你手里有刀 森林里又到处都是动物
what do you want, a buffet?
不然你想要什么 自助餐吗
Papa...!
爸爸
Happy birthday, son...!
生日快乐 儿子
Got any thoughts on that, Doc?
你对此有何看法吗 医生
If you guys think I'm going near that, you're crazy.
如果你们认为我会涉足这个话题 你就是疯了
Why'd you emphasize "You're"?
你干嘛要特地强调"你"字
No reason. You're pretty.
没什么 你真美
By the way, do you guys want to come over tomorrow night
对了 你们明晚想来我们家吗
for sangria and tapas?
有西班牙果酒和小吃哦
Si. Muchas gracias. That sounds awesome.
好啊 非常感谢[西语] 听起来不错
Great. We're also gonna paint the nursery.
很好 我们还打算粉刷育婴房♥
Oh, and a quick update on the sangria and tapas--
对了 至于西班牙果酒和小吃嘛
that's cancelled.
那部分取消
Guess what smooth son of a bitch
猜猜是哪个口齿伶俐的混♥蛋♥
just picked up a girl at the bar?
刚才在吧台那泡到妞了
Barney, you're cheating on Nora already?
巴尼 你这么快就背着诺拉乱搞啦
No, guys, it's me.
不 各位 是我
Janet McIntyre.
珍妮特·麦金泰尔
Struck up a conversation at the bar while ordering,
刚点餐的时候 为了搭话故意问她问题
she guessed bread right away,
她立马就猜中是面包[美国最受欢迎的食物]
we laughed, it was a thing.
我们会心一笑 擦起火花
Boom, going out tomorrow night.
火光四射 明晚约会
So, she said yes just like that? Just like that.
她就这么同意了 没错
There's something wrong with her. No, no, no, no.
那她一定有问题 不不不
Stop it. They always do this.
别这样 他们总这么干
Every time I go on a first date,
每当我跟人第一次约会
they snap right into research mode.
他们就立马开启人肉模式
It started by accident.
起初是一次偶然事件
Hello?
你好
Ted, we did a little Internet research
泰德 我们网上查到了
on your Mia Plumley.
你的米亚·普拉里
We just sent you a picture of her from six months ago.
我们刚把她六个月前的照片发给你
I don't understand-- is Mia standing behind
我不明白 米亚这是站在
this morbidly obese wo... Oh, my God!
一个超级肥胖的女人身后... 我的天
They had cookies and cream.
这里有卖♥♥饼干和冰激凌
And what you were saying about how women feel
你刚才说的关于女人为了身材
they have to starve themselves makes so much sense.
而节食的感受 实在太有道理了
Ooh, hot dogs. Score!
那儿还有热狗 赚到了
After that, background checks
从那之后 背景调查
became standard operating procedure.
成了例行操作程序
The date with Nadine went great.
跟娜丁的约会很顺利
Unless you guys found something.
除非你们又发现了什么
Are you sitting down?
你还是坐下吧
No.
不要
She's wanted in Florida on crystal meth charges.
她在弗罗里达因服用兴♥奋♥剂♥而被指控
She breeds pit bulls for dog fighting.
她养比特犬是为了用于斗狗
Also, the FBI... What's this link?
还有 联邦调查局... 这是什么链接
Oh, she also writes online movie reviews.
她还在网上写影评
Anyway, she's still married to a death row inmate convicted...
对了 她的老公是一名死刑犯
She gave Annie Hall two out of ten stars?
十星制的影评 她只给了《安妮·霍尔》两颗星
"Slow and overrated"?
"节奏缓慢 名不符实"
Realy? That's your takeaway?
真的吗 这才是你不能忍♥的地方
It's the Wood Man at the height of his powers.
这可是伍迪大♥师♥的巅峰之作
The way he broke the fourth wall by talking
他让角色直接跟摄影机说话
directly to camera?
打破了"第四堵墙"
People have been ripping that off ever since.
从那以后人人都纷纷效仿
Can you believe this guy?
世界上居然有这种人
Paula Vincenzo.
宝拉·文赛佐
She's in the bathroom.
她在厕所
What's wrong with her?
她又怎么了
Total psycho. Her Facebook wall
完全是个神经病 她Facebook的主页上
has a link to a site about dating inanimate objects.
有一个与非生物体约会的网站链接
For most of last year, she was engaged...
去年大半年的时间 她跟一个迷你冰箱
to a mini fridge. And there's pictures:
谈恋爱 照片发你了
her and the mini fridge on a hike,
她和迷你冰箱徒步旅行
her and the mini fridge in wine country,
她和迷你冰箱在酒乡
here's the mini fridge meeting her parents...
这是迷你冰箱在见家长
Run like the wind.
赶紧撒腿跑吧
So... want to go back to my place?
你 想来我家坐坐吗
Yeah, all right.
好吧
Well, thanks to us,
多亏了我们
you ran screaming from that freak show, right?
你尖叫着逃脱了魔爪 对吧
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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