哈莉·奎茵

我在工作。
I'm working right now.
我知道，听着。我尝试过预约，
I know. Listen. I tried to make an appointment,
但你只有下周二早上五点有时间。
but all you had open was 5:00 in the morning next Tuesday.
所以，嗯……
So, um...
诺拉说我5点15要外出是吗？
Did Nora say that I had a hard-out at 5:15?
-听着，我得跟你谈谈。 -哈莉，拜托。
- Listen, I need to talk to you. - Harley, come on.
天啊。人们是不会就这样闯入他们伴侣的工作的。
Oh, man. People don't just show up at their partner's work like this.
是啊，哈莉
Yeah, Harley.
想象一下如果最高法♥院♥的席位被法国人坐上。
Imagine if the Supreme Court justice got Frenched on the bench.
如果不是事关重大我是不会来的。
I would not have come if it wasn't super important.
我们能等等再谈这个吗？
Can we just talk about this later?
我觉得不行。
I don't think we can.
宝贝，你是想阻止我偷时光球吗？
Baby, are you trying to stop me from stealing the time-sphere?
老天！这辆卡车上有个时光球？
Geez! There's a time-ball on this truck?
是的，而我是个超级大坏蛋。
Yes, I am a big-deal super villain.
有时候会偷个时光球。可以吗？
And sometimes I steal time-spheres. Okay?
ABST。总在偷东西——
ABST. Always be stealing--
别再说那些该死的缩写了。
Enough with the fucking acronyms.
宝贝，我做这一切是因为我在建立一些东西。
Baby, I'm doing all of this because I'm building something.
这样，等我们六十岁还很性感的时候，
So, when we're, like, 60 years old and still hot,
我们可以在我们的城♥堡♥里喝红酒并有充裕的时间聊天。
we can sip wine in our chateau and have plenty of time to talk.
好吧！如果你现在不为我腾出时间，
Fine! If you won't make time for me now,
我就去找六十岁的艾薇跟她谈。
I will go find 60-year-old Ivy and talk to her.
等等，干嘛？
Wait, what?
哈莉，你在干什么？
Harley, what are you doing?
我去！她现在的状态不适合摆弄时空连续体。
Fuck! She is in no state to be messing with the time-space continuum.
马上回来。
BRB.
她的缩写酷多了。
Her acronyms are so much cooler.
嘿，宝贝。宝贝，看着我。
Hey, baby. Baby, look at me.
你根本不知道怎么操作该死的时光球。
You do not know how to operate a fucking time-sphere.
-全凭直觉。 -什么？
- It's intuitive. - What?
呃，真戏剧性。
Ugh, drama.
小心缝隙。
Mind the gap.
哦，还真是惊喜啊。
Oh, cake dick.
-该死。 -你这是带我们去了哪一年？
- Damn it. - What year did you take us to?
嗯？有意思。
Hmm? Interesting.
从时光球的角度来看老实说，
It may not have been as intuitive as I thought,
它可能不像我以为的那么靠直觉。
which honestly is on the time-sphere.
什么？嘿，哈莉。你要去哪？
What? Hey, Harley. Where are you going?
我们得回到我们的时代。好吗？
We gotta get back to our time. Okay?
哦，什么？对不起。你有要事出门吗？
Oh, what? Sorry. Do you have a hard-out?
不，我没有。
No, I don't.
我…至少我…我觉得没有。让我查一下。
I... At least I... I don't think so. Let me check.
你知道吗？没信♥号♥♥。
You know what? There's no service.
去他妈的。
Fuckin' A.
啊！我们不该来这儿。
Argh! We shouldn't be here.
这看起来就像该死的世界未日。
This looks like a goddamn apocalypse.
那样，你猜怎么着？
Well, guess what?
我的大脑正在经历一场世界未日。
There's an apocalypse happening in my brain.
我做过的坏事回来报应我了，艾薇。
The emotional chickens came home and they are roasting, Ivy.
嗨，嘘。别说不吉利的话——
Hey, shh. Let's not bring out whatever cursed beings--
咯咯，艾薇。我要开始自食其果……
Cluck-cluck, Ivy. The chickens are fucking--
哈莉，回时光球里。
Harley, get back in the time-sphere.
啊！地下人！
Argh! Ground-people!
妈的！
Shit!
嘿，有没有人能告诉我们未来到底出了啥鬼事？
Hey, is someone gonna tell us what in the future-fuck is going on?
当然。我们只剩最后两个男人了。
Sure. We only had two men left.
而你个蠢货还杀了其中那个帅的。
And your dumb ass murdered the hot one.
现在我们只有史蒂夫了。
Now we just have Steve.
噢，去你的，卡娅。
Oh, fuck you, Kaya.
祝你们在地球上繁衍生息顺利。
Good luck repopulating the Earth now.
我才没那个心情呢。
I'm not in the mood.
你们有十秒钟的时间自我辩护。
You have ten seconds to explain yourselves.
噢，很荣幸见到你们。
Oh, and what an honor to meet you.
我爸爸对你们俩评价很高。
My daddy spoke so highly of you both.
不好意思。我们认识你吗？
I'm sorry. Do we know you?
十秒。
Ten seconds.
好吧。噢，我的天呐，天呐。我最不擅长说话简短了。
Okay. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm terrible at brevity.
好吗，是这样，我劫持了一个时光球
Okay. So, I hijacked a time-sphere
因为我正在经历一些糟心事。
because I'm, kind of, going through some shit.
我就想带着我这位女士去25年后的未来，
And I thought I'd grab my lady here and travel 25 years in the future,
或许我可以见到更成熟、聪明的我俩。
where I could meet our older, wiser selves.
她们也许能，你知道，直接告诉我们
And they could, like, you know, give us the straight poop
如何过上最好的生活。
on how to live our best lives.
但我一定是把时间设到3000年什么的了。
But I must have set it to the year 3,000 or whatever.
现在是2048年。但我们全搞砸了。
It's 2048. But we all mess up.
昨天我还在支票上写2047年。
Yesterday I wrote 2047 on a check.
那么，我♥操♥作正确。
So, I got it right.
-瞧，这就是直觉。 -哈莉。
- See, it was intuitive. - Harley.
行了，好吧。你可以等我们回家后再向我道歉。
Okay, fine. You can apologize to me when we get back home.
那么，未来的我和未来的艾薇在哪，啊？
So, where's future me and future Ivy, huh?
等等。别告诉我。我们在托斯卡纳经营一家民宿旅馆。
Wait, wait. Don't tell me. We operate a bed and breakfast in Tuscany.
不，不，不。该说我们在托斯卡纳拥有并经营一家民宿。
No, no, no. We own and operate a bed and breakfast in Tuscany.
不，等等！是连锁店。
No, wait! It's a chain.
这是一家我们不再经营的连锁店
It's a chain which we no longer operate
因为我们要卖♥♥给一家比利时酒店集团，哼？
because we're selling to a Belgian hospitality conglomerate, hmm?
我不想戳破你的幻想，
Hate to burst your bubble,
但是你们俩死-定-了。
but you two are D-E-A-D dead.
你们眼前所见就是人性和鲨鱼性的残余。
You're pretty much looking at what's left of humanity and shark-manity.
是的。我只是需要，哦，再多一点的背景知识。
Yeah. I'm just gonna need, like, a little more context.
在2024年，我们的世界陷入黑暗。
In the year 2024, our world went dark.
农作物死亡，土壤有毒，全球经济崩溃。
Crops died, the soil was toxic, global economies collapsed.
哥谭成了警♥察♥国家，由蝙蝙家族的最后一位成员，
Gotham became a police state, ruled by the last remaining member of the Bat Family,
罗宾统治。
Robin.
不过还有支小小的抵抗运动
And yet a small resistance movement
在地下努力生存了下来，
has managed to survive underground,
在我们将军的领导下，
led by our general,
据说他是天选之子，将带领我们战胜
said to be the chosen one who will lead us to a victory
罗宾的无人机部队。
over Robin's drone army.
哇。那可真有戏剧性而且动人，很棒。
Wow. That was, like, really dramatic and engaging. Great stuff.
噢，谢谢你。在世界未日之前我其实是个画外音艺术家。
Oh, thank you. I was actually a voice-over artist before the world ended.
噢，适合收音机的脸。
Oh, a face for radio.
非常抱歉…为杀了那个帅的。
So, sorry for... For killing the hot guy.
但我们真正想做的只是回到时光球里。
But all we really want to do is just get back to the time-sphere.
噢，我们会帮你们得到时光球。
Oh, we'll help you get the time-sphere.
而你们要帮助反抗军彻底扳倒罗宾。
And you'll help the resistance take down Robin once and for all.
呃，为什么？
Um, why?
因力你们是我的妈妈。
Because you're my moms.
-老天 -爷啊！
- Holy... - Shit!
噢，天啊。她太美了。
Oh, my God. She's gorgeous.
等等，我们母乳喂养你了吗？
Wait, do we breastfeed you?
是谁喂的？捐精者是谁？
Who did it? Who's the sperm donor?
我真不希望见到你时被绑着还正情绪低落。
I hate that I'm meeting you all tied up and emotionally at rock bottom.
你是像我一样疯狂还是像艾薇一样吃素？
Are you crazy like me or vegan like Ivy?
我们给你取了什么名字？
What did we name you?
奈蒂莉。
Neytiri.
就像《阿凡达》里的蓝妞。
Like the blue chick from Avatar.
你知道吗，五年来我一直梦到那部电影
You know, for five years I thought I dreamed that movie
因为我们看的时候我太兴奋了。
because I was so high when we watched it.
阿凡达电影系列被广泛视为史上最伟大的故事。
The Avatar film franchise is widely considered the greatest story ever told.
它对我们文化的影响简直无法计数。
It's nearly impossible to quantify its impact on our culture.
-我见到你（《阿凡达》主题曲），奈蒂莉将军 -我也见到你。
- I see you, General Neytiri. - And I see you.
我们不可能给她取这个名字。
There is no way we named her that.
也就是那时我才明白我的橇棍还不够。
And that's when I realized my crowbar wasn't going to be enough.
于是，我拿出刀开始从他完美的骨骼结构上
So, I took out my knife and I began peeling his silky skin
剥下他丝滑的皮肤。
from his perfect bone structure.
那个，我的骨头正疼得要命。最后怎样？
Well, my bone is painfully hard right now. So, how does this end?
我是明年马尔康主题演讲寥寥无几的候选人之一。
With me on the short list for keynote-speaker at next year's MALCon.
也就是在我和艾米·舒默之间。
It's between me and Amy Schumer.
天啊，你真是个自恋狂。
God, you're a narcissist.