哈莉·奎茵

- Hey! - I can show you the best part of the office
因为那是我要去续咖啡的地方。
because it's where I need to go to refill my coffee.
重返一座办公室里好棒。
Great to be back in an office.
诚然，这是个坏蛋总部，
Sure, it's a bad guy HQ,
但一份工资单，不管是谁签的，
but a paycheck, no matter who signs it
都是男人一生中能获得的最有满足感的东西。
is the most fulfilling thing a man can have in his life.
喔，这些小玩意是什么？
Ooh, what are all these gadgets?
莱克斯公♥司♥生产的废物。
Junk that LexCorp makes.
智能碎纸机，黑洞发生器。
Sentient paper shredder, black hole generator.
那是个微波炉或者克隆设备。
That's either a microwave oven or a cloning device.
啊，她们是谁。
Uh, who are they?
哦，她们是艾薇的门徒。
Uh, those are Ivy's mentees.
你碰上的是石头那位，【大地女】
You got the rocks one,
烧火那位，【火山女】
the fire one,
还有沼泽小家伙。【特菲】
and the little swampy one.
-这个，见鬼了。 -挪开你的胳腰肘。
- Well, I'll be damned. - Get your elbow off that.
噢，是我♥干♥的，是吗？
Oh, that was me, wasn't it?
嘿，一天限一袋。
Hey, one bag a day.
别以为你能有什么特殊待遇
Don't think you're getting any special treatment
就因为我上了你老爸！
just 'cause I boinked your bog dad!
别再提这茬了！
Stop bringing that up!
一切顺利，你们现在是一个团队了，
All right, so you guys are a team now,
团队就该有名号♥。
and teams deserve names.
（T恤上文字：自然灾害）
还有，抱歉衬衫上印了个篮球。
And also, sorry about the shirts having a basketball on them.
我真不知道不用模板该怎么做，于是……
I just really couldn't figure out how to make 'em without a template. So...
我这件有订单号♥贴纸。
I got the one with the order number sticker.
是时候让你们首次公开亮相了。
It is time for you guys to make your big public debut.
你们有什么被搁置的主意？
So what ideas have you been kicking around?
-说吧。 -哥谭地下有个
- Go. - There's a network of dormant volcanoes
休眠火山网络，我想激活。
beneath Gotham that I want to activate.
我们可以扔进去些变♥态♥名流
We could toss in pervy celebrities
来拍照。
for a photo op.
地震，搞定。
Earthquake bingo.
-嗯，那好。你能详细说明一下吗？ -不能。
- Um, okay. Can you elaborate on that? - No.
嗯，我一直在努力进入红域，
Um, I've been working on my access to the red,
连接所有动物生命的那种力量。
the force that connects all animal life.
我想让鲨鱼重新在哥谭湾里繁衍，
I want to repopulate the sharks in Gotham Bay,
恢复海洋生命的平衡
restoring balance to the sea life
并毁掉大家的夏天。
and ruining everyone's summer.
我喜欢这些想法。
I love these ideas.
好的，我们需要找到一种新的方式
Okay, so we need to find a new way
把这些想法编织在一起
to weave these ideas together
才能象征作为一个团队的你们所有人。
so it represents all of you as a team.
-让我们继续。 -紧急情况。代号♥一切。
- Let's go ahead. - Emergency. Code everything.
嘿，哇。嗨，什么紧急情况？
Hey. Whoa. Hi. What's the emergency?
什么？你疯了吗？这归我来操心。
What? Are you crazy? That's me to know.
现在快走，你个长腿婊♥子♥！
Now move your ass, you leggy bitch!
啊，好吧。继续讨论。
Uh, okay. Let's keep discussing this.
我去去就来。
I'll circle back to it later.
为你们骄傲。杀翻全场，种马。
Proud of you. Slay you, horse.
好的。
Okay.
对不起。我……我道歉。
I'm sorry. That's... I... I just apologize.
我不太擅长这种高能量的真诚，
The high energy sincerity doesn't come naturally to me,
但我在尽力。再见。
but I'm doing the best I can. Bye.
谢天谢地你来了。
Oh, thank God you're here.
请带她回家。
Please take her home.
巴布斯！终于，我……
Babs! Finally, I...
等等。你哪位？
Wait, wait. Who are you?
我是阿莉西娅。巴布斯的室友。
I'm Alysia. Babs' roommate.
巴布斯还有室友？
Babs has a roommate?
当我在巴布斯的手♥机♥上看到游泳队哈莉发来的
I never thought when I saw 17 desperate texts and voicemails
17条绝望的短♥信♥和留言时，没想到会是那个哈莉·奎恩。
from Swim Team Harley on Babs' phone it'd be the Harley Quinn.
哦，如果搁一年前，我会高兴坏了。
Ugh, if this was a year ago, I'd be losing my mind.
你以前可是个超厉害的酷儿恶棍，
You used to be this totally kick ass, queer villain,
现在却加入了蝙蝠家族。
and now you're in the Bat Family.
-我以前可崇拜你了。 -真的？
- I used to look up to you. - Really?
我有个你用阿萨伊碗杀人的相框。
I have a framed photo of you killing a guy with an acai bowl.
你总能如此地做你自己。
You were always so you.
它在我变性期间真的很有帮助。
It really helped me while I was transitioning.
嘿。嘿。我才是那个该失望的人。
Hey. Hey. I'm the one who should be disappointed here.
-好吗？巴布斯在哪？ -巴布斯会回来的。
- Okay? Where's Babs? - Babs will be back.
她总是一次消失个一两天。
She's always disappearing for a day or two at a time.
-你保证？ -保证。
-Promise? -Yep.
我该带你去哪？
Where am I taking you?
去哥谭动物园
To the Gotham Zoo.
我需要几个老朋友的帮助。
I need some help from a couple of old friends.
啊，蝙蝙女，夜翼，
Uh, Batgirl, Nightwing,
-罗宾！ -你怎么这么久才来？
- Robin! -What took you so long?
来见见我的两个特殊朋友。
Meet two special friends of mine.
我改良过的新眼球
My new and improved eyeballs.
这双眼睛现在可以全天候打击犯罪了。
These peepers can now fight crime any time of day.
日出，日落，魔法时刻，监视时刻，欢乐时光。
Sunrise, sunset, magic hour, witching hour, happy hour.
蝙蝠女不见了。
Batgirl is missing.
好吧，有什么紧急情况？
Okay, what's the emergency?
是你。你是个公♥关♥灾难。
It's you. You're a PR disaster.
你们在说什么？我在月球上大受欢迎。
What are you talking about? I was a huge hit on the moon.
我说，看看所有这些贺礼。
I mean, look at all these congratulatory gifts.
有人寄给我暗藏传染病的兰花。
Someone sent me a contagion in an orchid.
那又怎样？谁在乎？
So what? Who cares?
恶人们已经是你的基本盘了。
Villains are already your base.
那世界其他地方呢？
What about the rest of the world?
你说你喜欢黑咖啡。
You said you like your coffee black.
亲爱的，你就失去了杏仁奶市场。
Honey, you just lost the almond milk market.
噢，天啊。看看汤姆·克里奇奥刚发了什么。
Oh, my God. Look what Tom Colicchio just posted.
等等，汤姆·克里奇奥提到我了吗？
Wait, Tom Colicchio said something about me
不，是关于牛排的。
No, about steak.
但他应该在谈论你
But he should be talking about you
和你美妙的邪恶计划。
and your deliciously evil plans.
别担心，我们是来帮你的，但我们得立即开始。
Don't worry, we're here to help you, but we need to start right away.
2017年你说“我想吃百吉饼”
You haven't posted since 2017
以后就没有发过帖子了。
when you said "I want a bagel."
那是为了一个免费百吉饼的比赛。
It was for a free bagel contest.
而且你也没赢。
That you didn't even win.
你知道什么能让你成加赢家吗？新发型。
You know what would make you a winner? New hair.
-你会戴假发吗？ -大号♥的。
- Would you wear a wig? - A big one.
你对皮肤的表面10层有多在意？
How attached are you to the top 10 layers of your skin.
伙计们，就算喜欢被别人评头论足，
Guys, loving getting my appearance critiqued,
我也得回去工作了。
but gotta get back to work.
你们打断了我和我的学徒们。
You interrupted me while I was with my mentees.
是的。不止一个。我有三个。
Yes. Plural. I got three.
感化下一代是至关重要的，宝贝，
Influencing the next generation is totes crucial, babe,
但是你的时间不该浪费在区区三人上面。
but three people isn't a good use of your time.
想想指导三十亿人。
Imagine mentoring three billion people.
十……十亿？是单人旁的吗？
B... Billion? Like with a B?
-你只需要做一点小事。 -微不足道，很小的事
- All you have to do is a few small things. - Teeny, tiny things.
比如在高谭骑士队的比赛中开球。
Like throwing out the first pitch at a Gotham Knights game.
和洛恩·迈克尔斯就主持《周六夜现场》通话。
And a call with Lorne Michaels about hosting SNL.
所有看这个节目的14岁白人都会爱你的。
All the white 14-year-olds who watch it will love you.
你就该高居神坛之上。
You deserve to be up on a pedestal.
灯光笼罩着你，灼烧你的视网膜。
The lights shining down on you, searing your retinas.
每个人都在听你所说。
Everyone listening to what you have to say.
-好的，姿势再大胆点。 -啊！
- Okay, now a little riskier. - Ah!
很好。进入状态了。
Yep. Get into it.
用你的头发笑，而不是牙齿。
Smile with your hair, not your teeth.
给我们热情，但又悠然，
Give us passionate, but carefree,
就像你刚赢了百吉饼比赛。
like you just won a bagel contest.
-对。行了。好的。 -对，就这样。
- Yes. Okay. Yeah. - Yes, love it.
-美得令人室息。 -摆个在歌♥剧厅歌♥唱的姿势。
- Choke me, Daddy. - Strike a pose that'll sing in marble.
伙计们，这非常有趣。
Guys, this is super fun.
穿上金色内衣绝对能让我更加，
And wearing gold underwear has definitely made me more,