哈莉·奎茵

我猜，自信。但你们确定，
I guess, confident. But are you sure that,
给我塑像不会太过分太快吗？
like a statue of me isn't too much too soon?
-不，不，不。 -比如圣诞老人
- No, no, no. - Look at Santa Claus.
那个白胡子贱♥货♥到处都是。
That pasty bitch is everywhere.
你觉得他的粉丝会觉得“太过了”吗？
Do you think his fans feel like it's "too much?"
再想想收益。
And check out the favorables.
雕像在我们的受众展示中极其受欢迎。
Statues are incredibly popular with our target demo.
-呃，谁？ -所有人。
Uh, who? Everyone.
除非，我不确定，你不相信科学和数据，
Unless, I don't know, you don't believe in science, and data,
以及做这个有5000年的专家。
and professionals, who've been doing this for 5,000 years.
难以置信，有人正对蝙蝠家族下手时，
I can't believe you got cosmetic surgery,
-你却跑去做了个整容手术。 -噢！
- when someone is picking off the Bat Family, - Ow!
我有个脚趾嵌甲已经六年了，
I've had an ingrown toenail for six years,
我连绷带都没换过。
and I've never even changed the bandage.
瞧瞧。看到没？
Take a look. See?
很恶心，
It's disgusting,
至少，罗宾还没有被♥干♥掉。
Okay, Robin's not picked off.
他妈妈带他做毒药训练去了。
His mommy took him to do poisons training.
而我和阿莉西亚，蝙蝠女的室友谈过了，
And I talked to Alysia, Batgirl's roommate,
她说她总是一次消失好几天。
she said she always disappears for days at a time.
是啊，在我们这儿。
Yeah, to be with us.
哦，妈的！
Oh, fuck!
-好吧，我们该怎么办？ -噢，我们该怎么办？
- All right. What are we gonna do? - Oh, What are we gonna do?
我们该怎么……啊？
What are we go... Huh?
我的线索之书！
My book of clues!
是你叫他们干的吗？
Did you put them up to this?
你在给艾薇通风报信吗？
Are you feeding Ivy info?
我丢下了超豪华席梦思和一生挚爱
I left a fucking pillow-top Cali king and my one true love
住进这阴森的老宅里。
to live in this creepy mansion.
我为你们做的眼科手术。我全神投入。
I got my eyes done for you. I am all in.
现在，让我们去找蝙蝠女。
Now, let's go find Batgirl.
我要单独调查这样才能有效率。
I'm gonna investigate alone so I can actually be effective.
-但我们是一家人！ -不。
- But we're family! - No.
不，不，不。我，罗宾和蝙蝠女是一家人。
No, no, no, no. Me, Robin and Batgirl are a family.
你只是哈莉。
You're just Harley.
毒藤女
Poison Ivy.
今天什么风把你吹来了？
What brings you to Tawny today?
唐妮，我很高兴来到这里
Well, Tawny, I'm just delighted to be here
谈谈我的社会性有意识邪恶运动。
to talk about my socially conscious evil campaign.
听起来很棒。
That sounds great.
但我听说你还在推进别的事。
But I heard you had something else going on.
一些还不太确定的事。
Something not quite o reveal
将揭密他们在艾薇的嘴唇上
what brand of medical ointment
涂了什么牌子的药膏。
they put on Ivy's lips while that plaster dried.
我觉得它就像是我拎包底部的蛋黄酱包装。
I think it was like a mayo packet from the bottom of my purse.
呣，呣，呣。
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
你太老实了。
You are so down to earth.
说真的，投掷藜条吧！
Literally, throw those vines!
嗯哼。
Mmm-hmm.
哦
Oh.
好了，好了，大家。坐下，坐下。
All right, all right, y'all. Settle down, settle down.
我们期待已久的时刻
The moment we've all been waiting for.
雕像镜头的世界首映。
The world premiere of Statue Cam.
雕像镜头！雕像镜头！
Statue Cam! Statue Cam!
嘿，唐妮。说句悄悄话。
Hey, Tawny. Just sidebar.
人们真的会在意一块石头
Do people really care about like a block of stone
和三个穿着卡哈特夹克的家伙吗？
and three dudes just wearing Carhartt jackets?
看上去他们也根本没用那种酷跩、基佬的方式穿。
It's like they're not even wearing them in like a cool, gay way.
而是穿得像波士顿那种方式。
They're wearing them in like a Boston way.
难以置信！
Incredible!
稍后回来时，将有一名幸运观众
And when we come back, one lucky audience member
带着一袋出自雕像本身的
is going to go home with a bag of dust
粉末回家。
from the statue herself.
夜翼，你在那里做什么？
Nightwing, what are you doing there?
噢，我正要离开。
Oh, I was actually just leaving.
我要找的证据都齐了。
I got all the evidence I need.
玩得开心点，那么。为你的邪恶女友加油。
Have fun, though. Cheering for your evil girlfriend.
你也尽管开心吧，没被请入休息室
You have fun not being invited to the green room
也没有无限♥量♥的小水瓶。
and not getting unlimited tiny water bottles.
哈莉，我的爱。
Harley, my love.
好吧。我没想到你也来了，
Okay. I had no idea you were coming,
但你刚才从这边看到我了吗？
but did you just see me out there?
简直疯了。大家都喜欢我。
It was crazy. People were, like, loving me.
一个男人给了我这个。
A man gave this to me.
这是我打小最喜欢的三明治。
This is my favorite sandwich from childhood.
嘿，宝贝，了不起。
Hey, babe, that's awesome.
你见过唐妮用来捉弄名人的鹦鹉了吗？
Did you meet the parrot that Tawny uses to prank celebrities?
我正要见呢。
I was about to.
我明白我们说过不会这么做。
I know we said we weren't gonna do this.
但你们毁灭军团中有没有哪个恶棍绑♥架♥了蝙蝠女？
But did one of your LOD villains kidnap Batgirl?
好吧。所以你会在这儿？不是来支持我的？
Okay. Is that why you're here? You're not here to support me?
我很为你感到非常高兴！
I am so happy for you!
但我也在调查我同事的失踪案。
But I'm also investigating the disappearance of my coworker.
你知道我帮不了你。
You know I can't help you with that.
那么，我告诉你，我能帮到你的就是礼品袋。
So, I'll tell you what I can help you with, which is swag bags.
艾薇，英雄不能接受贿赂，天啊！
Ivy, heroes can't accept payola. God!
抓住你了贱♥人♥！抓住你了贱♥人♥！
Gotcha bitch! Gotcha bitch!
抓住你了贱♥人♥！抓住你了贱♥人♥！
Gotcha bitch! Gotcha bitch!
噢，该死，杰弗里。算你厉害。
Oh, damn, Jeffrey. You are good.
杰弗里，我的天使。
Jeffrey, my angel.
我要杀了那个没关门的人。
I'm gonna kill whoever left this door open.
哦，该死！
Oh, shit!
哈莉
Harley.
你在这里做什么？
What are you doing here?
芭布丝不见了！我在翻她的东西找线索
Babs is missing! I was looking through her stuff for clues
然后躺在床上小小地……
and then laid down for a very tiny...
打盹八小时？
Eight-hour nap?
等等。她还没回来吗？
Wait. She hasn't come back yet?
听着，我需要帮助。我翻翻找找的
Listen, I need help. The only thing I found out
唯一发现就是她没有按♥摩♥棒♥。
from snooping is that she doesn't own a vibrator.
-这解释了很多。 -很有道理。
- Explains a lot. - It makes sense.
那个，我不想侵犯她的隐私。
Well, I didn't want to invade her privacy.
但既然你已经搜查了她的房♥间，睡了她的床，
But since you already ransacked her room, slept in her bed,
还着她的“2014年戈登家庭重聚”衬衫，
and are wearing her "Gordon Family Reunion 2014" shirt,
让我们看看她的手♥机♥。
let's look at her phone.
在吉尔枪♥支♥弹♥药♥店的消费？
A charge at Jill's Guns and Ammo?
芭布丝讨厌枪♥支♥弹♥药♥。
Babs hates guns and ammo.
定位一直到山上，
And it's all the way up in the mountains,
经典的绑♥架♥地点。我得去救她。
A classic kidnapping spot. I have got to go save her.
这样我的游泳队就不得不尊重我了。
My swim team has to respect me after that.
这游泳队的社交圈好疯狂。
These swim team dynamics are insane.
你应该跟我一起来。请来吧。
You should come with me. Please come with me.
你那么了解芭布丝。
You know Babs so well.
好吧，但只因为你现在基本上算个警♥察♥，
Okay, but only because you're basically a cop now,
而我不想让任何棕色人种受到伤害。
and I don't want any brown people getting hurt.
好的，开创性消息。
Okay, ground breaking news.
你把杏仁奶带回来了。
You're back in with almond milk.
在你的新书发布会之前能起到很好的宣传。
It'll be great press ahead of your book launch.
等等，什么？我没写过书。
Wait, what? I didn't write a book.
噢，我们为你写了一本。
Oh, we wrote one for you.
名叫《毒藤茂盛：从零到女老板英雄》
It's called Poison Thrivy: From Zero to #GirlBossHero.
你接了反监控和乔纳森·弗兰岑的广♥告♥?
You got blurbs from Anti-Monitor and Jonathan Franzen?
它已经是高谭时报畅销书排行榜的榜首了。
It's already number one on the Gotham Times best seller list.
签字吧，姑娘。
So get signing, girl.
这本是给杰森·李的。
This one's for Jason Lee.
这本是给詹妮佛·杰森·李的。
This one's for Jennifer Jason Leigh.
这本是给塞缪尔·詹妮弗·杰森·李的。成了。
And this one's for Samuel Jennifer Jason Lee. There you go.
不好意思，打扰了。
Excuse me. I'm so sorry.
啊，你看过我们的新计划了吗？
Uh, did you look at our new plan?
哦，该死。我还没有。
Oh, shoot. I... not yet.