哈莉·奎茵

Yes, go off, Queen.
而且我明白了这将如何帮助我向自己
And I see how it will help me leverage
作为思想领袖的身份加杠杆。
my identity as a, uh, thought leader.
-哦。 -我的宝贝。
- Ooh. - My girl.
既然这将是我迄今为止最大的一次公众活动，
And since this will be my biggest public facing event yet,
我想定制一个……
I'd like to order a...
-啊哦，是的…… -噢，你可别说出来！噢！
- Uh-huh, yeah... - Oh, don't you fuckin' say it! Oh!
留影背景板！
Step and repeat!
噢！
Oh!
我完全不明白妈妈们为什么这么恼火。
I have no idea why moms are so miffed.
你养孩子所需的一切，工作场所都有。
Everything you need to raise a kid is in the workplace.
看！
Look!
这东西会发出白噪音，还……
This thingy does white noise, and...
还会吐出珍贵的回忆。
spits out precious memories.
是什么东西曾把芭布丝胳肢死？
And what used to tickle Babs to death?
血淋淋的犯罪现场照片。
Gory crime scene photos.
哦，美好回忆。
Oh, the memories.
哦，谢谢。
Oh, thanks.
我都不记得我上回
I can't remember the last time
一个人拉屎是什么时候了。
I was able to take a shit by myself.
好吧，你女朋友的办公室在哪？
All right, where's your girlfriend's office?
呃，你们那么他妈痴迷的
Uh, whatever happened to detective procedure
侦探流程出了什么问题？
that you guys are so fucking obsessed with?
我们在跟踪追踪器。
We're following the tracker.
我们还不知道它会引向哪里，好吗？
We don't know where it's gonna lead yet, okay?
哇哦，哈莉。
Whoa, Harley.
杀夜翼你有份吗？
Were you in on killing Nightwing?
放长线钓大鱼？
A long con?
我包打听。
I dig.
啧！这些该死的家伙。
Psh! These fucking guys.
-显然，我没有。 -别出声。
- Obviously, I'm not. - Zip it.
那是什么声音？
What's that sound?
搞什么啊？
What the fuck?
噢，这真让我今天松了口气。
Oh, this has been very helpful for me today.
那么，我该怎么说呢？我这有皇家触摸。
Well, what can I say? I've got the royale touch.
这样可以吗？
Is that allowed?
对父亲来说是的。
For dads it is.
既然他们都睡了，我要逼自己再拉一次屎。
Since they're sleeping, I'm gonna force myself to take another shit.
芭布丝！你在这儿干吗？
Babs! What are you doing here?
追踪器呢？
Where's the tracker?
小声点。我刚把他们哄睡着。
Inside voice. I just got them down.
噢，芭布丝。从婴儿身上偷个蜂鸣器。
Oh, Babs. Stealing a buzzer from a baby.
你一直是个嫉妒心很强的孩子。
You always were a jealous child.
你怎么会有这个？
Why the hell do you have this?
老天爷啊！
Christ on a cabbage!
我在停车场找到的。
I found it in a parking garage.
这是妈妈空心粉的蜂鸣器。
It's a Mama Nacaroni's buzzer.
看到没？“MN”？
See? "MN"?
这不是蜂鸣器。是追踪器。
It's not a buzzer. It's a tracker.
“NW”。夜翼？
"NW." Nightwing?
啊！上面都是口水。
Ugh! It's covered in drool.
现在我们没法做取证鉴定了。
Now we can't test it for forensics.
看看你。
Look at you.
跟你老爸一样的警探。
A detective like your old man.
她知道的一切，都是跟我学的。
Everything she knows, she got from me.
闭嘴！
Shut up!
哇！冷静！
Whoa! Chill!
蝙蝙家族不能破坏个人财产。
That Bat Family does not destroy personal property.
噢，我懂了。你不想让我毁了你女朋友的办公室，
Oh, I see. You don't want me to destroy your girlfriend's office,
即使她毁了我们的家庭。
even though she destroyed our family.
艾薇是个反派，好吧？
Ivy's a villain, okay?
但我告诉你，她绝不会这么对我。
But I'm telling you, she would never do this to me.
让我们瞧瞧我把她揍出屎之后，
Let's see how long it takes her to confess
她能挺多久才肯认罪。
after I beat the shit out of her.
好吧，我去和艾薇谈谈。
All right, I'm gonna go talk to Ivy.
你玩得开心点。交个朋友，也许调调情。
You have fun. Mingle, maybe flirt a little.
嘿！你要去哪儿？
Hey! Where are you going?
嘿！就是你！给我灌一杯。
Hey! Yeah, you! Pour me a shot.
艾薇！艾薇！嗨。听好。
Ivy! Ivy, hi. Listen.
请告诉我你没有谋杀我的同事。
Tell me you didn't murder my coworker, please.
呃，抱歉，稍等。
Uh, sorry, one sec.
小哈，现在不是时候。
Harls, not a good time.
只要回答个问题！
Just answer the question!
你和夜翼的死有什么关系吗？
Did you have anything to do with Nightwing?
好吧。哇！
Okay. Wow!
拜托。你真觉得我会这么对你吗？
Hello. Do you really think that I would do that to you?
我…我不知道……我不知道。我不知道。
I... I don't... I don't know. I don't know.
-好吧，我没有。 -谢天谢地。
- Well, I didn't. - Oh, thank God.
但是，说实话，宝贝，
But, honestly, babe,
如果是我的手下干的，
if someone who works for me did,
那么，我也说不准，他们干得好。
then, I don't know, good for them.
你知道，我做的是邪恶生意，
You know, I run an evil business,
而夜翼将是一个相当大的收获。
and Nightwing would be a pretty big get.
-艾薇！ -亲爱的，我现在没空聊这个。
- Ivy! - Honey, I can't deal with this right now.
我得去当评委了，儿童选美大赛。
I have to go judge, a children's beauty pageant.
但你总是说装模作样的孩子
But you always say kids with good posture
让你毛骨悚然。
give you the creeps.
好么，看看这个。绑起来喝。
Well, will you look at this? Tied up, taking shots.
真是有其父必有其女。
You're a chip off the old block.
我带你去妈妈空心粉店怎么样？
How about I take you to Mama Nacaroni's?
有人刚给了我一张礼品卡。
Someone just gave me a gift card
因为他们觉得我是个好爸爸。
'cause they saw me being an amazing dad.
这是是通心粉。念M。
It's Macaroni's. M.
我很确定在托斯卡纳就是这么发音的。
Well, I'm pretty sure Nacaroni is how they pronounce it in Tuscamy.
天啊！你都不知道我最喜欢的餐厅叫什么。
God! You don't know the name of my favorite restaurant.
夜翼死的时候你也没给我打电♥话♥。
And you didn't even call me when Nightwing died.
噢，我没有在长牙，你个傻瓜。
Oh, I'm not teething, you idiot.
现在让我一个人待着！
Now leave me alone!
至少我有八只爱我的小爬虫。
At least I got eight little reptiles that love me.
嘿，玩具人。
Hey, Toyman.
我想玩玩。
I wanna play.
我们齐聚在这位神圣女神的基座下，
We have gathered at the base of this sacred goddess,
从这些早熟的孩子中选出
to decide which of these precocious children
最有可能成为下一个毒藤女的。
is most likely to be the next Poison Ivy.
嗨，非常感谢你们。
Hey, thank you so much.
说真的，谢谢你们。太感动了。
Seriously, thank you. It's too much.
看着这些年轻的面孔，
Looking out at all these young faces,
我想起了一个简单的事实。
I'm reminded of a simple truth.
你们任何一个都永远不会像毒藤女。
That none of you will ever be like Poison Ivy.
我是由实验室里反常的意外创造的，
I was created by a freak accident in a lab,
通过一些操蛋的奇迹，
and through some fucked-up miracle,
我没死掉而得到了超能力。
I got superpowers instead of dying.
以上，又加上我是个十足的天才，
That, combined with being a straight-up genius,
正是这些造就了我，我。
is what makes me, me.
此外，我就是天生丽质。
Also, I'm objectively gorgeous.
所以，孩子们，放弃吧。
So, guys, give up.
想都别想。
Not gonna happen.
-天啊。这简直是公♥关♥噩梦。 -打断她！
- Oh, my God. This is a publicity nightmare. - Cut her off!
-有问题吗？ -即使这些女孩长大后无法成为你
- Any questions? - Even if these girls don't grow up to be you,
难道她们不能以自己的方式成长得与众不同？
surely they won't grow up to be special in their own way?
不会。是的，我此刻正在打量她们，
No. Yeah, I'm scanning them right now,
她们充其量会被遗忘。
and they're forgettable at best.
对我的现场观众再说一遍。
Say that again to my live audience.
噢，好的。很乐意。是的。
Oh, yeah. Happily. Yeah.
那么，在我们的直播下，各位看看你们座位下面
So, while we're live, guys, everyone look underneath your seat
有一个当纪念品的毒藤娃娃，
for a commemorative, Poison Ivy doll,
我亲自批准了它的最终设计。
whose final design I personally approved.
娃娃还没准备好。
The doll's not ready yet.
妈咪，这个屁♥眼♥为什么这么逼真？
Mommy, why is this butthole so realistic?
还有一件事。去他的杏仁奶！
And one more thing. Fuck almond milk!
不！