大嘴巴（2017）

Okay. I think we're done here.
今天就这样
Give me a call in, like, I don't know, two years.
两年之内再给我打电♥话♥吧
Oh, come on, please. What about the zit?
别啊 我这痘怎么办
Oh, right. Yeah, let me see that.
对了 我看看
Look, your zit just came more than you ever have.
你的痘比你射的都多
He was totally unreasonable
他一点都不讲理
and he was, like, eating pistachios the whole time, which felt rude.
还一直在吃开心果 特别不礼貌
Yeah, he loves pistachios. I mean, he's a weird guy.
他就爱吃开心果 他是有点怪
So I gotta go.
我该走了
Hold on. Aren't you coming over?
等等 你不是要来我家吗
No, I have plans.
不 我有其他安排了
I'm-- I'm going to my, um, aunt's wedding.
我要去我 阿姨的婚礼
Your aunt's getting married on a Thursday?
你姨竟然在周四结婚
Yeah, she's cheap. Cheap lady.
她很随便 随便的女人
Okay, let's hang out tomorrow. Okay.
好了 明天再约 好吧
Nice lie, baby.
谎撒得不错啊 小子
I mean, the kid had no idea that your aunt died years ago
那孩子根本不知道你阿姨几年前就死了
after a slow miserable battle with cancer. Ha ha! Idiot.
被癌症慢慢折磨至死 笨蛋
What are you doing?
你在干嘛
What? We're gonna watch the porn, so I can forget about Missy.
怎么了 看片能让我暂时忘记米西
The same one?
还看这一部
Oh, my little sweet potato,
傻小子
there's a whole world of pornography out there.
世间黄♥片♥千千万
In fact, you can trace erotica
事实上 情♥色♥艺术可以追溯到
all the way back to the early Paleolithic cave drawings.
旧石器时代早期的岩洞壁画
What's your safe word again?
你的安全词是什么来着
Honestly, I'm embarrassed, but it's "Ooga-booga."
虽然有点不好意思 是《复仇木偶人》
In the third century,
在第三世纪
the Kama Sutra became the standard go-to jerk work.
《爱经》成了撸管必备佳片
Sorry, can you just shift a little bit? My leg is cramping.
能稍微换个姿势吗 我腿都要抽筋了
You're cramping? I'm upside fucking down.
你腿抽筋 老子可是在下边的
Very well-researched.
叹为观止
Video changed the game,
视频改变了一切
and for a while flicks helped us fap.
电影也为撸管大业作出了杰出贡献
Did someone order a pizza? 'Cause I already ate it.
有人叫披萨吗 我已经吃完了
Jesus, Ron, are you gonna burp into my pussy again?
罗恩 你又想上人家吗
Why would that guy be in a... Oh, it's quite big.
这种男的怎么会拍 这么大
And, finally, the mother of all pornovations...
最后 所有色情的发展传播
the internet.
都离不开互联网
Everything you could ever want, whenever you want it.
你能想象到的 随时随地都能得到
Amazing. Oh, but this site says I need to be 18.
厉害了 但这上面说要满18周岁
I think we're gonna be okay, Andrew. I'm 75 million years old.
没事 安德鲁 我都七千五百万岁了
Hi, Andrew. I like your fedora. Missy.
安德鲁 我喜欢你的帽子 米西
It's really nice being alone with you.
跟你在一起很开心
Andrew, we need to break up.
安德鲁 我们分手吧
I want you, Andrew.
来嘛 安德鲁
Welcome to jazz club. Oh, yeah.
欢迎加入爵士俱乐部 好棒
See you at school tomorrow.
明天学校见
Seven minutes of--
七分钟
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
爽 爽死了
Oh, boy, what a night.
激♥情♥一夜啊
When did you finally go to sleep? I didn't.
你什么时候睡的 我就没睡
Mature group pissing?
成人群尿
I guess I just got a little bored of the solo pissing stuff.
一个人尿太没劲了
Sure, okay. All right.
好吧 好了
I guess I should go to school, even though there's no porn there.
我该去学校了 虽然那没片看
You can't leave your room like this.
你不能就这么走了
Your mom will mature piss herself.
你妈会吓尿的
Oh, yeah, yeah. Good call.
对对 说得对
I'm gonna toss all these in the kitchen garbage.
我把这些都扔到厨房♥垃圾桶里吧
Are you crazy? You gotta go offsite with this biohazard.
你疯了 这臭袜子能熏死人好吗
Oh, boy.
天呐
The synagogue, huh?
犹太教堂啊
I guess the smell of pickled herring
腌鲱鱼的味儿肯定能
will hide the scent of your seed.
盖过你精♥液♥的味道
That's exactly what I was thinking. You're very smart.
我就是这么想的 机智
And chemical bonds
存在于
that exist between two atoms that share electrons
两个共享电子的原子之间的化学键
are called covalent bonds.
就叫做共价键
Andrew. Huh? What?
安德鲁 什么
Can you give us an example of a molecule with a covalent bond?
你能给我们举个含有共价键分子的例子吗
A big molecule?
大分子
You haven't been listening at all, have you?
你一点都没听是吧
You're being very, very bad.
你坏坏
Do you need to be punished, Andrew?
你要被惩罚吗 安德鲁
I need to be punished 'cause I'm a bad little baby.
我要被惩罚 因为我是个坏宝宝
Why don't you bend me over that desk and spank me on the ass?
让我趴在桌子上 狠狠打我的屁屁吧
Excuse me, Mr. Glouberman?
格劳博曼先生
He wants you to spank him on his ass as if he were a baby,
他把自己当个宝宝 还想让你打他屁♥股♥
even though he's not actually a baby.
即使他已经不是个宝宝了
But he wants it over the desk because he's a bad little bitch.
但他还想趴在桌上 因为他是个小贱♥人♥
All right, so where were you on the night of August 21?
4月21日晚上你在哪里
Let's see. I was home by myself.
我想想 自己在家
What about September 11th?
9月11呢
Oh, my birthday. I was home alone.
那是我生日 还是一个人在家
September 28th?
9月28日
I was watching Home Alone at home, alone.
一个人在家看《小鬼当家》
Sir, I gotta tell you, based on your lack of alibi
先生 根据你缺少不在场证明
and your various connections to the victims,
以及与被害人的种种联♥系♥
you are currently a person of interest.
你与本案有重大嫌疑[有趣的人]
So let me get this straight:
我来捋一下
you think that I am interesting and also a person?
你觉得我是个人而且很有趣 对吗
You're the person, Steve.
你就是 史蒂夫
You have the right to remain awesome.
你这个人就是完美
Hey, Andrew. What, Missy?
安德鲁 怎么了 米西
Oh, well, I just saw what happened in Science class.
我看见在科学课上的事情了
Is-- is everything okay, Andrew?
没事吧 安德鲁
Yep. Hunky-dory. Okay, bye.
啥事没有 拜拜
We're going to my house, right?
一会儿去我家是吧
No, I gotta go home to the baseball game.
不 我要回家去看棒球赛
What? With my aunt.
什么 和我阿姨
Why is your aunt going to a baseball game
你阿姨为什么要跟你看棒球赛
the day after her wedding?
还是在她结婚后的第二天
I don't know, Nick. Why would you suck on a strap-on?
我不知道尼克 你为什么要吸假鸡♥巴♥
The thing's made of plastic.
那玩意儿还是塑料做的
Who benefits from that? I have to go.
有什么好的 我要走了
What's going on with Andrew?
安德鲁这是怎么了
I don't know, Missy, but I'm pretty sure it's your fault.
不知道 米西 但我肯定是你的缘故
Oh, no. I don't doubt it.
天呐 肯定是
All right.
好了
No. What the hell? The Wi-Fi is out.
不 怎么回事 WIFI断了
No big deal. We don't need porn. Let's just use our imaginations.
没关系 不需要黄♥片♥ 用想象就行
You remember what tits look like, right?
你知道奶♥子♥长什么样 对吧
They're like... like, like round boxes.
就像俩盒子 不过是圆的
Why doesn't anything in this house work?
为什么这破房♥子里什么都不好使
Yeah. Why doesn't anything work?
对啊 为什么
What are you talking about? This house sucks.
你们说什么呢 这儿烂爆了
Yeah, it does suck. Why is it my fault?
对 烂爆了 这怎么成我的错了
You know who's funny? The Big Bang Theory.
你知道什么最搞笑吗 《生活大爆♥炸♥》
May I offer you a beverage? Ta-da!
看我给你变个酒精饮料
Why isn't your magic as annoying as it used to be?
为什么现在你的魔术都没以前烦人了
'Cause he looks like a sexy porcupine.
因为他看起来就像只性感的豪猪
You know, my dad called your dad about being his divorce lawyer.
我爸打电♥话♥让你♥爸♥做他的离婚律师
Oh, boy. Guy Bilzerian is gonna destroy your mom.
比尔泽恩那家伙会毁了你妈妈的
She deserves it.
她活该
My dad's living in the basement. There's no bathroom down there.
我爸住在地下室 连厕所都没有
He has to shower in the backyard. It's so sad.
洗澡也得在后院洗 太惨了
My dad has a shower in his office.
我爸在办公室洗澡
He and his receptionist both have robes there.
他跟他的接待员在那还有睡袍
Your dad is screwing his receptionist?
你♥爸♥和接待员搞上了