大嘴巴（2017）

Found you!
找到你啦
No. Why?
不要 干嘛
Listen, I know I'm not supposed to see the bat
听着 我知道成人礼之前不该见到
before the mitzvah,
主角女孩
but ta-da-- oww!
但是...
Jesus, fuck!
我靠
Please don't give me flowers. What? I can't help it.
请不要送我花 为什么 我都忍♥不住
I mean, look at you.
看你多美
You're like a square, sexy box.
就像一个性感的方形盒子
I just want to, like,
我真想把你
take you to FedEx and fill you full of packing peanuts.
拿到联邦快递 把你装满花生
Stop! I hate this dress. My stupid mother made me get it.
停 我讨厌这裙子 是我妈偏让我穿的
Oh, yeah, moms are so stupid.
可不是呗 妈妈最蠢了
They're always passing out drunk in the bath
她们总是在浴缸里喝醉晕过去
instead of signing your field trip permission slip.
忘了给实习同意书签字
Oh, Jay, that is real bleak.
杰伊 那真是太惨了
Look, could we just cool it with the romantic gestures, okay?
我们用浪漫之举放松一下就好了 可以吗
As you wish, my boxy Jewess.
如你所愿 盒子般美丽的犹太小姐
Wha-- aah!
怎么回事
Andrew, what are you doing? I missed you, Missy.
安德鲁 你在干什么 我想你 米西
Yeah, I missed you, too.
是啊 我也想你
Our parents are being crazy, right?
我们家长都太扯了 对不对
I mean-- You want to be with me, and I want to be with you.
我们彼此都想在一起
What if we... What if we dated in secret?
如果我们...偷偷约会呢 怎么样
You mean like Fatima and Gustavo?
你是说像法蒂玛和古斯塔沃那样吗
Yes, except, of course, I won't be a horse.
当然 除了我不是匹马之外
Yeah, but you're hung like one. Reveal your meat.
没错 但你就像个傻瓜 展现你有趣的地方
Wowzie-wow, forbidden lovers?
禁断之恋
I can tell that I'm genuinely excited
这我可真的兴奋了
because my back is really sweaty.
因为我的后背全是汗
Shall I dab it with my tallit?
要不要我拿披巾擦掉它
Is that kosher?
那合乎犹太教礼法吗
I don't know, but I feel like we're breaking all the rules today.
不知道 但我们今天就在不断打破规矩
Andrew, where are you?
安德鲁 你在哪
I'm done fighting over the handicapped spot.
我争取到了那个残疾人停车位
I'll find you later, Fatima.
一会再来找你 法蒂玛
Sorry, a lot of feelings.
抱歉 真是百感交集
Hey, that singing rabbi up there, does she look familiar?
那个唱歌♥的犹太拉比 她看着眼熟吗
That's the cantor. She just does the "Music."
她是领唱 她只负责音乐部分
That's a whole job? Exactly. It's a scam!
那也算个工作 没错 都是骗局
Like soap. Soap is lard. Marty, be quiet!
就像肥皂 它是猪油做的 马蒂 安静
Ooh, I spoke to Greg.
我在跟格雷格说话
There will be no scallops at this bat mitzvah.
这次成人仪式上没有扇贝
Thank goodness. Last time, we had to throw away your suit.
谢天谢地 上次只能把你的套装扔掉
And my shoes. Don't forget my shoes.
还有鞋 别忘了它们
They were like the spill tray.
它们就像试剂盒一样
Hey, does this church serve those, uh, wafers?
这个教堂有没有圣饼
I didn't eat breakfast. Oh, you poor starving thing.
我没吃早饭 你这个饥饿的小东西
Let me see what I've got in my purse here.
让我找找包里有什么
Aw, thanks, Mrs. Birch. Here. Call me Diane.
谢谢 伯奇太太 给你 叫我黛安
Okay, Mommy.
好 妈咪
Hey, let's sneak off with Missy
我们和米西溜走吧
while your dad is scratching what appears to be a troll's foot.
趁着你♥爸♥在抓他那山怪一样的脚
So I'm Cantor Dina Reznick,
我是康托·迪内·列兹尼克
and I have had the distinct honor of being Jessi's guide.
我很荣幸地担任杰西的引路人
I don't know what it is, but I do not like that woman.
我不知道那是什么 但我不喜欢这个女人
, right, Jess?
真是让人高兴[希伯来语] 对不对 杰西
She's the worst. I hate how she "Huchs" Her words.
她糟透了 我讨厌她那么发音
She should shut the fucch up.
她应该闭上那张"臭咀"
I can't believe we're alone. We can do whatever we want.
真不敢相信这只有我们 我们想做什么都行
Do you boys need a yarmulke?
男孩子们 你们需要小圆帽吗
No, thank you, Mr. Fishman.
不用 谢谢你 菲什曼先生
Come on, it's too dangerous out here. Come with me.
走吧 这儿太危险了 跟我来
Yeah, I'll take a yarmulke, for my Jewish penis.
我要一顶小圆帽 给我的犹太鸡鸡戴
Thank you!
谢谢你
I use it to cover my bald spot.
我用它遮盖我的秃斑
And now, for the first aliyah,
第一段经♥文♥朗诵
I'd like to invite up Jessi's beautiful mother Shannon
我想邀请杰西美丽的母亲香农
and her husband Greg.
和她的丈夫格雷格
Oh, uh... don't worry, I won't mons push you this time.
别担心 我这次不会揉你阴♥阜♥
You can mons push me all you want.
你想揉就揉吧
Look at her pawing at your mama. Seriously.
看她对你妈妈动手动脚 说正经的
That's a very long hug.
那抱的时间也太长了
Andrew, isn't that your jazz hat?
安德鲁 那不是你的爵士帽吗
That's Jessi's mom.
那个人是杰西的妈妈
Oh, God.
天啊
Oh, my God.
我的天啊
It's her.
原来是她
Jessi... Jessi...
杰西 杰西
Jessi.
杰西
So it's time for you to read your Torah portion.
轮到你朗读摩西律法了
I... I...
我...
I can't do it. Yes, you can.
我做不到 你能的
You are a woman now, and this is what women do.
你已经是一个女人了 女人就要这样做
We suck up all the bullshit that the world dumps up on us
忍♥受这个世界给我们带来的所有不公
and keep smiling through it all in our boxy-ass dresses!
并且穿着四四方方的裙子微笑着解决一切
Amen.
阿...门
Jessi, I loved it. A few small thoughts--
杰西 棒极了 有几个小建议
You sang great. The breath in here is-- it's terrible.
你唱得棒极了 但是你的口气真是...难闻
Jessi, mazel tov. I have to tell you something.
恭喜你 杰西 但我得告诉你点事情
That cantor lady, she--
那位领唱的女士 她...
She's the woman you saw kissing my mom, isn't she?
她就是你看见的那个亲了我妈妈的女人 是吧
Holy shit, she is!
我靠 就是她
Oh, my God, I can't believe it!
天啊 真不敢相信
Barbara, I lost a sock in the pews again.
芭芭拉 我又把袜子落在教堂座位里面了
DJ Pendejo coming at you!
笨蛋DJ驾到
If you have any music requests, come talk to me.
如果你有音乐方面的疑问 请尽管问我
Do not write them down.
不要写下来
And make sure I can see your lips because I am losing my hearing.
让我看请你的唇语 因为我要听不见了
This is how you handled it, Greg?
你就是这样办事的吗 格雷格
Give me a break. He said he'd do it for free.
饶了我吧 他说会免费演出的
Oh, I don't get paid by the school either.
学校也不给我钱啊
I'm what's known in the business world as,
我就是那种被商界称为
uh, a volunteer person.
志愿者的人
Who the hell is Malala?
马拉拉到底是谁[诺♥贝♥尔♥和♥平♥奖♥得主]
She's just this girl who got shot in the face
她是个因为读书而脑袋中弹的人
'cause she read a book and now she's super famous.
现在她超级出名
Lucky Malala. That's what they call her.
幸运的马拉拉 他们就是这么称呼她的
Diane, I got you a glass of Pinot Gris with two ice cubes,
黛安 我给你拿了杯加两块冰的灰皮诺白葡萄酒
just the way you like it. Wow. Thank you, Jay.
正是你喜欢的样子 谢谢你 杰伊
That is so sweet.
你真好
Jay, why are you bringing my mom drinks?
杰伊 你为什么要给我妈妈拿酒
Because she rocks. Not that you care.
因为她超棒 你又不在乎
I watch how you treat her
我通过你家安设的秘密摄像头
with all the cameras I hid all over your house.
已经看到你是怎么对待她的了
It's fucked up, bro. Just stay away from her, okay?
真是糟透了 哥们 离她远点 好吗
And for the last time, get rid of the cameras in my house.
最后说一次 把摄像头都拆掉
Whatever, man. At the end of the night,
无所谓了 哥们 一天到头
we'll see who's seeing who get tucked in.
等着瞧谁会被她掖被子
Please. He's right.
拜托 他说得没错
You don't appreciate your mama.
你对妈妈毫不感激
Do you boys need a yarmulke?
男孩子们 你们需要小圆帽吗
Well, I'll be! It's Jew Fishman, my agent.
我要 这是朱·菲什曼 我的经纪人
Jew, I want to pitch a show to Merv Griffin.
我要和默文·格里芬搭戏
It's called Ghost Court. I could be the judge.
就叫《幽灵法庭》 我可以演法官
Do you boys need a yarmulke? Jew's gone senile.
男孩子们 你们需要小圆帽吗 朱变老了
Jew, can you even remember the name of my first single?
朱 你还记得我第一支单曲的名字吗
Do you boys need a yarmulke?
男孩子们 你们需要小圆帽吗
Oh, good, he still remembers some things.
还好 他还不至于什么都记不得
Scallops, sir?
要扇贝吗 先生