大嘴巴（2017）

then why are you so afraid to be called gay?
你为什么那么害怕别人说你是基佬
Because I'm not. But if you were
因为我不是 但如果你是的话...
It'd be a nightmare. Why?
那就太可怕了 为什么
Why? Come on, Andrew.
为什么 拜托 安德鲁
No girl's gonna hook up with you if you're gay.
你是基佬的话就钓不到妹子了
They'll think all you do
他们以为你只会
is stick your dick inside other dudes' dicks.
把鸡♥巴♥插到别的男生的鸡♥巴♥里面
Jay, gay people don't stick their dicks inside other dicks.
杰伊 同性恋不是插鸡♥巴♥的
You're picturing it and we're talking about it.
你在想象这副画面 我们还在谈论它
I'm not picturing that. Let me ask you this
我没在想象那画面 我这么问你吧
would you rather that lesbo call you "Catfish mouth" or gay?
你想愿意让那个拉拉管你叫"鲶鱼嘴"还是基佬
I don't want to be called either.
哪个都不想
Because being gay is as bad as having a catfish mouth.
因为基佬和鲶鱼嘴一样糟
We're all on the same page.
我们都意见一致
What's so bad about being gay? Nothing.
同性恋有什么不好的 没什么
It just seems kinda hard to be gay.
只是同性恋有点不容易
Oh, it's really hard. I mean, have you ever looked at gay porn?
真的很不容易 你们看过同志黄♥片♥吗
What? No. Neither have I, right? Okay.
什么 没有 我也没有 对吧
Now if you'll excuse me, bathroom.
失陪了 我要去趟洗手间
Okay, okay, how about this--
好 要么这样吧
we'll say Jessi puts peanut butter on her dog's dick
我们说杰西在她的狗的鸡♥巴♥上涂花生酱
and licks it off. Yum, yum, yum.
然后把它舔掉
Aren't you supposed to put the peanut butter on your own dick?
你不应该说她在你鸡♥巴♥上涂花生酱吗
That would feel way better.
这样感觉好多了
Um, hello? Mr. Ghost of Duke Ellington? It's Andrew.
你好 艾灵顿公爵之灵在吗 我是安德鲁
Why, hello, Andrew!
怎么了 你好安德鲁
Are you doing a report on me for school?
你要写关于我的学校报告吗
Here's a fun fact--
告诉你一个有趣的事实
Stevie Wonder wrote the song "Sir Duke" about me.
史提夫·汪达写的《公爵先生》就是关于我的
And he's been faking his blindness his entire life.
而且他装瞎子装了一辈子
That sounds like a crazy conspiracy theory.
这听着像是某种疯狂的阴谋论
You should hear my views on 9/11.
那你该听听我对于911的看法
How come all the Jews knew not to come to work that day?
为什么所有犹太人偏偏那天集体请假
No, that's been proven to be untrue.
不 那已经证实是假的了
You're picturing it and we're talking about it.
你在想象这副画面 我们还在谈论它
Anyway, Duke, I wanted your advice,
不管怎么说 公爵 我曾向你寻求建议
and I guess I still do.
我现在依然需要建议
You see, Duke, I'm probably gay and it is scary.
公爵 我可能是同性恋 我很害怕
Only if you find disposable
除非你害怕
income and terrific summer houses scary.
可支配收入和超棒的避暑别♥墅♥
Did you know any gay people when you were alive?
你活着的时候认识同性恋者吗
Of course! I was in show business,
当然了 我在娱乐圈工作
the official profession of the gay people.
简直就是同性恋者的专属职业
Allow me to introduce you
请让我向你介绍
to famous deceased homosexuals
几位著名的已故同性恋者
Socrates, Freddie Mercury,
苏格拉底 佛莱迪·摩克瑞
and Justice Antonin Scalia.
以及大♥法♥官安东尼·斯卡利亚
Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia?
最高法♥院♥法官安东尼·斯卡利亚
But weren't you famously anti-gay?
你不是以反对同性恋而闻名的吗
I was deep in the closet,
我当时是深柜
and I wish I came out while I was alive.
我真后悔活着的时候没出柜
Ghost cock is like vegan
幽灵的鸡♥巴♥
bacon-- it just isn't as good as the real thing.
就像是素食培根 还是跟真的没法比
And it has a weird texture. Wow, yeah.
而且质地很奇怪 没错
Also, it's the best time to be gay since ancient Greece.
而且 这是自古希腊以来最适合当基佬的时候了
I had no idea.
真没想到
As long as you live on one of the coasts,
只要你住在海岸沿线
or Austin, Texas-- that place is keeping it weird.
或者是德州奥斯汀 这种事在那儿还是很奇怪
Being gay can be bloody brilliant.
同性恋真是太他妈棒了
How so, Freddie Mercury? I was hoping you would ask.
为什么 佛莱迪·摩克瑞 我正希望你问
**What's it like to be gay?*
*同性恋是什么样的
**When you're gay every day is a nonstop cabaret*
*同性恋的每一天都是不停歇的歌♥舞演出
**You've got style and flair You're loved everywhere*
*又时髦又有才 人见人爱
**Except for North Carolina*
*北卡罗来纳州除外
**Bears and queens and Catholic tweens*
*胖熊暖男 变装皇后 天主教童
**The world's your buff buffet*
*健美肌肉随便看
**Come and join in the fun. Say hello to tight butts*
*加入我们 一起狂欢 拥抱翘臀
**And goodbye vaginas*
*再见 阴♥道♥
**Be gay, totally gay. Be gay*
*彻头彻尾地弯吧
**Be a bright and shining rainbow*
*弯得像一道闪亮的彩虹
**Yes, you'll find your new identity*
*在LGBT环境中
**In the LGBT community*
*找寻新的身份
**I'm gay, totally gay*
*我是个同性恋
*- *He's gay* - *I'm a fabulous flouncing*
*他是同性恋* *我是美丽的荷叶边
*- *Loud and proud cliché* - *Sashay*
*吵闹骄傲的陈词烂谷* *各种滑步
*- *On display* - *All day*
*公开展出* *一整天
**And I found my calling today*
*今天我发现了我的使命
*- *So gay* - *It's a flaming hot pink-letter day*
*太基了* *今天是粉红火热的一天
**I'm not the boy I used to be*
*我与以前不同了
**I'm here, I'm queer, get used to me*
*我是基佬 习惯吧
**I'm gay*
*我是同性恋
**He's absolutely, undeniably gay*
*他毫无疑问是个同性恋
Matthew, you were right. I'm gay.
马修 你是对的 我是同性恋
Well, look at you, walking into rooms, declaring things.
瞧瞧你 过来大方承认
Yes, I'm declaring that I'm a proud gay man.
没错 我很骄傲地承认我是个同性恋
Okay, what's next? How am I supposed to dress?
接下来怎么办 我该穿什么
How do I meet other gay people? How do I find a boyfriend?
怎么接触别的同性恋 怎么找男朋友
Well, first of all, you already have a boyfriend.
首先你已经有男朋友了
What? Who? "Peanut."
什么 谁 花生
Who? "Little Purse Dog."
谁 钱包小狗
Purse Dog? "Mr. Teddy Graham."
钱包狗 泰迪·格雷厄姆先生
Nick? Yes! "Little Baby Salt Shaker."
尼克 没错 小盐瓶先生
What? No, Nick's not my boyfriend. We're just best friends.
不 他不是 他是我最好的朋友
Oh, please! You do everything together.
拜托 你们干啥都一起
You're always making each other jealous,
老是吃对方的醋
getting in your stupid little fights.
各种愚蠢的争吵
It's classic. You're a tall and a short. Is that a thing?
太经典了 你和他一高一矮 这也算
Everything in the gay community is a thing.
在同性恋里 什么都算
Also, bye-ee!
再见啦
He's right, it's Nick. It's always been Nick.
没错 是尼克 一直都是
So what's up? You officially gay?
好啊 所以你正式出柜了
What? Yes. Where have you been?
是的 你去哪了
I'm sorry, I was inducting my dear friend Joe Walsh
抱歉 我给亲爱的朋友乔·沃什
into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
宣布进入摇滚名人堂了
And as long as he's around, rock and roll will never die.
只要他在 摇滚不灭
Ladies and gentlemen,
女士们先生们
Eagles legend and my brother-in-arms, Mr. Joe--
鹰的传说还有我的哥们 乔先生
Well, you get it.
你懂的
Is this the gay kid you were talking about, man?
这就是你说的小基佬吗
Yeah. He thinks he's in love with his best friend.
是的 他觉得他爱上了最好的朋友
It would be kind of perfect, right?
挺完美吧
We get along, his parents love me--
我们关系很好 他爸妈喜欢我
Well, if he's gay and into it, then you're making music.
如果他也是同性恋又喜欢你 那就可以做音乐了
Beautiful music. Though, I should figure out if Nick is into it.
美妙的音乐 但是我得弄清楚尼克喜不喜欢我
But if he's not, that's a hard morning light
如果他不喜欢 那就像早上刺眼的阳光
coming through your window, brother.
从你窗户射进来一样了 兄弟
Joe Walsh is right. If I come right out and tell him
乔·沃什说得对 如果我直接问他
and he's not into it, that could ruin everything.
他不喜欢我 那一切就完了
Yeah, and then you'll get caught up in a bunch of lawsuits
没错 然后你就会因为版权问题
about publishing rights,
官司缠身
and Don Henley doesn't call you on your birthday anymore, man.
唐·亨利也不会在你生日时打给你了
It's a bummer 'cause he was your brother.
太难受了 他是你的兄弟啊
What's up, jerk? Hey, Jessi,
好啊 混♥蛋♥ 杰西
do you want to sit over here with me? Oh, yeah. Thanks, Missy.
过来一起坐吗 好的 谢谢 米西
Do you want some of my homemade fruit leather?
想吃点手工果泥干吗
I'm not allowed refined sugar. Uh, thanks. I'm all set.
我不能吃♥精♥制糖 谢谢 我够了
Okay, how about this?
好吧 那这样呢
It must be hard for you that you can't sit with the boys anymore
你不能跟男生坐一起肯定很难受吧
after all that stuff you said about Nick's mouth.
毕竟你说尼克的嘴那样
Yeah. The gloves came off in a fit of rage.
是啊 你当时真的太生气了