大嘴巴（2017）

I was really mad.
是啊
And I guess as goes Nick so goes Andrew.
看来尼克和安德鲁都做不成朋友了
It's the law of the jungle, Jessi. It's the law of the jungle.
这就是丛林法则呢 杰西
Yeah, that part I didn't really think through.
是啊 这点我没考虑到
Fucking bitch! Eating those baby carrots
贱♥人♥ 还在吃小胡萝卜
when you know she wants to be eating little pieces of shit.
她就应该吃屎
Jay, please. How did everything get so messed up?
杰伊 拜托 这一切怎么弄成这样了
I know. This whole thing with Jessi, it makes you wonder,
是啊 跟杰西的事让我们不禁怀疑
like, hey, women, do we even need them?
我们真的需要女人吗
What? Of course we do. What about my mom and, like, whores?
什么 当然需要 那我妈和妓♥女♥呢
My point is, when it's just the boys it's, hey, we make music.
我的意思是 男生在一起可以做音乐
But with girls it's like,
和女生在一起就会觉得
"Aw, why aren't they boys?" I don't get it.
"她们怎么不是男生呢" 不明白
Are you saying that we can't be friends with girls?
你是说我们不能和女生做朋友吗
No, I'm just saying maybe the two of us should go on a vacation,
不 我只是说咱俩应该去旅个游
go camping or something, get away from all this woman drama.
露营啥的 离开这些戏精
I love that. Camping's a great It's just Nick and me!
好啊 露营太棒了 就我和尼克两个人去
Oh-- yeah, no, that-- that's fine.
好吧 没事
I mean, I know how to track you guys.
我知道怎么找到你们
Nick-o-teen,
尼克小朋友
you caught me working on a new song that no one will ever hear.
我正在做一首没人会听到的新歌♥
Oh, death is so profoundly sad.
死亡太悲伤了
But enough about me. Why the long face?
不说我了 你怎么耷拉着脸
Duke, I guess I was wondering,
公爵 我在想
have you ever stayed friends with an ex?
你和前任做过朋友吗
Nope. Impossible. That's a bummer.
不可能 太扫兴了
I'd really like to be friends with Jessi again.
我真的很想再和杰西做朋友
Man, you boys having a lot of problems this week, huh?
你们这周问题很多啊
What do you mean? Your lumpy friend Andrew
什么意思 你的傻朋友安德鲁
was up here the other day.
之前也上来找我
Good kid. Thinks he might be a homosexual.
挺好的孩子 他觉得自己是同性恋
What? Andrew? That's impossible.
什么 安德鲁 不可能
He would tell me. Would he?
他会告诉我的 是吗
What if he's shaking in his little gay boots,
如果他摇着小基靴子
scared you won't want to be his friend anymore?
害怕你不想跟他做朋友呢
I don't care if Andrew's gay, I'll always want to be his friend.
我才不在乎 我会一直跟安德鲁做朋友
Let's just say he comes out to you
要是他跟你出柜了
and you fire him from your band,
你把他从乐队踢出去了
so he becomes destitute
他变得一无所有
and flings himself in front of a trolley car.
冲向了有轨电车呢
Duke, did you fire a guy for being gay?
公爵 你因为别人是同性恋就开除过别人吗
Oh, God, no! I loved having gay guys in my band.
当然没有 我很喜欢乐队里有同性恋
More groupie for Dukie. Yum, yum, yum!
就会有更多粉丝了 太棒了
I would never fire Andrew from my band.
我绝不会把安德鲁从乐队里踢出去
Oh, my God, poor Andrew.
天啊 可怜的安德鲁
"Oh, my God, poor Andrew"? That sounds like a good song.
"天啊 可怜的安德鲁" 这歌♥不错啊
I'm gonna change the "Oh, my God" to "Hey, now"
我要把"天啊"改成"你好啊"
and "Poor Andrew" to "Sweet Desiree."
"可怜的安德鲁"改成"宝贝德西蕾"
**Hey now, sweet Desiree*
*你好啊 宝贝德西蕾
What are you doing here? I spoke to Duke.
你怎么来了 我和公爵谈了谈
Did he mention anything about Stevie Wonder
他说了史提夫·汪达
and his connection to 9/11? No. We actually talked about you.
还有他和911的关系了吗 我们说起了你
Oh, God. He said you think you might be gay.
天啊 他说你觉得自己可能是同性恋
What the hell? Is there no child-ghost confidentiality anymore?
搞什么 现在没有孩子与鬼的保密协议了吗
Well, is it true? I don't know.
是真的吗 不知道
Look, I got a boner watching the "PB:NYC" trailer.
我看《PB:NYC》预告片的时候勃起了
Like, a big, hard boner. And I don't know how to talk to girls
特别硬 我不知道怎么跟女孩聊天
but I wanna jizz all the time,
但我老是想射
and I'm so awkward around everyone except you,
除了你 我跟别人在一起都很尴尬
'cause we're best friends,
因为咱俩是最好的朋友
and I guess it just seemed
我感觉可能
like being gay might actually be great.
是同性恋还挺好的
But now that I'm saying it out loud I don't know.
但我真的不知道
I wish there was some way to know. I've never even kissed a guy.
我希望有办法能知道 我都没亲过男生
I've never kissed anyone, for that matter.
我其实谁也没亲过
How am I supposed to know if--
我怎么知道
You just kissed me.
你亲了我
It was scientific. I was just trying to help.
纯属实验一下 帮个忙而已
Did you feel anything?
你有感觉吗
Nothing, flaccid.
没有 软软的
Maybe we should pin him to the ground, jam it in his mouth,
或许我们应该把他埋了 塞住他的嘴
just the sheer fucking degradation Wait, wait, wait. Hush.
让他降解了 等等
I I'm actually not into this. Yeah, no, I could tell.
我不是很喜欢 我看得出来
I was just spitballin'.
我就是随便说说
So, are the test results in?
有结果了吗
Honestly, I didn't like it.
说实话 我不喜欢
Is it because I have a gross catfish mouth?
因为我恶心的鲶鱼嘴吗
No, no, no, your mouth is fine. I just didn't feel anything.
不不不 你的嘴没问题 我就是没感觉
Maybe I'm not gay.
也许我不是同性恋
But thank you for kissing me...?
不过谢谢你亲我
My pleasure...?
不客气
Oh, I can't believe that you were my first kiss.
你居然是我的初吻
What am I gonna tell my grandkids?
我怎么跟我孙子们说啊
Grandpa Andrew, who was your first kiss?
安德鲁爷爷 你的初吻是谁
Well, you know your great-uncle Nick?
你记得尼克叔祖父吗
You mean Nick Starr, the host of "Countdown to Money"?
你是说《金钱倒计时》的主持尼克·斯塔尔
Two robots and two humanoids are here to compete
两个机器人和两个类人动物在为
for Most Glorious Kingdom of China Bitcoin units.
最伟大的中国比特币竞争
So sit tight or shake your booty 'cause it's time to...
坐好了 摇摆你的屁♥股♥ 是时候观看
"Countdown to Money with Nick Starr!"
《和尼克·斯塔尔一起金钱倒计时》
Ni hao!
你好
God, what's taking so long?
天啊 怎么这么久
Hey, man, hurry it up! We're gonna miss the movie.
哥们 快点 我们要错过电影了
Movie? I thought this was the self-checkout at Walgreens.
电影 我以为我在沃尔格林的自助结账呢
No wonder I couldn't find prescription eye drops
怪不得我找不到眼药水
and those sticks you could floss with.
和棉签呢
Oh, God, Jessi's here. What?
天啊 杰西来了 什么
Come on, let's get out of here.
我们快离开这里
No. You guys have to talk to each other.
不 你俩得谈谈
This is crazy.
太扯了
Oh, hello, Nick. Did you bring a phone book to sit on?
你好 尼克 你带电♥话♥簿当板凳了
Oh, did you bring a big butt that's yours?
你带大屁♥股♥了
You two stop it. This is ridiculous.
你俩都给我住嘴 太荒谬了
You were friends, then you're girlfriend and boyfriend,
你们本来是朋友 然后是男女朋友
now you're not friends at all?
现在连朋友都做不成了
Go stand by those two weird Christmas movie posters
你俩去奇怪的圣诞节海报那
and work your shit out.
把这事解决了
Maybe I am gay.
也许我就是同性恋
Okay, Andrew's not wrong. I know.
安德鲁说的没错 嗯
When you said "Let's be friends," I was excited
你说做朋友的时候 我很开心
because I really like being friends with you.
因为我真的很喜欢跟你做朋友
And we sucked at being boyfriend and girlfriend.
我们真的不适合做男女朋友
Totally sucked at it. Are you sure we're not at Walgreens?
没错 这里真的不是沃尔格林吗
I need to find the bin filled with plastic balls
我得找到装特别轻的
that are too light to throw.
塑料球的桶
I'm really sorry I said all those terrible things about you.
我真的很抱歉之前那么说你
It's my fault. I lied about how we broke up.
是我的错 我不该骗人说我甩了你
I guess I just didn't want to seem like the loser.
我只是不想让自己看上去像失败者
We were both kind of losers.
我们俩都是失败者
Yeah, we were.
是啊
Shall we go to the movie?
我们去看电影吧
After you, milady. Thank you, good sir.
你先请 女士 谢谢 先生
Aw, Atlanta Claus, you gotta
亚特兰大圣诞老人 你得帮我
help me find a dying Mylar balloon that says "Wow."
找到上面写着"哇"的漏气的聚纤气球
Merry Christ-murs!
圣诞快乐
Have you been nar-ghty or nice?
你调皮还是乖
I can't be dishonest with you, Black Santa.
我不能说实话 黑人圣诞老人
I've been real nar-ghty.
我很调皮
I'm the one who put the fecal matter on the basketballs.
是我把排泄物弄到篮球上的
Hallelujer!
哈利路亚