最后一个男人（2015）

The Last Man On Earth S03E06

Part 2 Dec. 1, 2020, 5:04 p.m.

if you could help me out with a very important chore.
你能不能帮我做一件很重要的事
I know what you're doing.
我知道你要干嘛
You're trying to get me in your car
你想把我骗到你车里
so you can drive me to Seattle.
然后把我带去西雅图
No, I'm not.
不我没有
Swear on your baby's life.
用你孩子的性命发誓
I swear on my baby's bife.
我以我孩子的行命发誓
What's a bife?
行命是什么
I have a cold.
我感冒了
Tennis with the Williams sisters' rackets?
要用威廉姆斯姐妹的网球拍打网球吗
Oh, come on!
别这样嘛
Uh, could you help me, uh, reattach my eyebrows out here?
你能帮我重新黏一下我的眉毛吗
Gardening, anyone?
要做园艺吗
I'm not going to Seattle.
我不去西雅图
Seattle? What?!
西雅图什么
I'm not-- Okay.
我没有好吧
Tandy, I am not going to Seattle!
坦迪我不去西雅图
I know.
我知道
I-I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
我只想跟你说声对不起
You know, I thought I would be helping,
我以为自己能帮上忙的
but I was doing it more for me
但我这么做更多的是为了自己
than I was for you.
而不是为你
It was so selfish.
我太自私了
So...
不管怎样
anyway, I got you a little anniversary present.
我还是给你准备了一份周年礼物
Used the bad wrap job.
包装不是很好
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
抱歉抱歉
This is gonna be really good for you, though.
结果你肯定会很满意的
So sorry.
太抱歉了
What possible reason do you have for taking me to Seattle?
你到底为什么要带我去西雅图
Mark is not gonna be there!
马克不可能在那里
Well, he may not be there now,
他也许现在不在
but what if he comes back in the future, huh?
万一他以后来了呢
I mean, he needs to know where we are,
他得知道我们在哪里才行
and that is why we're gonna leave him a note with our address.
所以我们要给他留下我们的住址
Mark is dead, Tandy!
马克已经死了坦迪
Well, my brother was dead, too.
我兄弟也死了
He was up in space.
他之前在太空里
Not Tokyo, but friggin' outer space.
不是东京而是他妈的外太空
And then somehow, my dead brother managed
然后不知怎么的我那死去的兄弟
to make it to Earth and find me in Malibu, alive.
就活生生地回到地球了还在马里布找到了我
Now, if a miracle could happen for me,
如果我能遇到奇迹
why can't it happen for you?
你怎么就知道你不会遇到呢
Because it can't, okay?
因为不可能好吗
You know, I know why you get short with me.
我知道你为什么总是和我处不好了
Must be so hard for you to have to look at me
一看到我就会想到他
all the time and be reminded of him every step of the way.
你肯定特别难受吧
Reminded of who?
想到谁
I think you know.
我以为你知道
Kind of feel like masturbating.
感觉跟打飞机似的
In what way do you think you look like Mark?
你觉得你跟马克有哪一点像了
In what way do I not?
我跟马克有哪一点不像
Bone structure, you know, uh, playfulness of the cheeks,
骨骼结构面带笑意
uh, come hither eyes, uh, pouty lips.
诱人的眼睛微翘的嘴唇
There is not one similarity.
根本一点也不像
That's what you should keep telling yourself.
你就这么骗自己吧
Nice miss.
扔歪了
Hello, lady friends.
你们好啊我的女朋友们
So, Gail.
盖尔
Yeah?
怎么了
You're worried that once a baby calls you Grandma,
你是担心一旦孩子叫你祖母
you cease to be attractive.
你就魅力全失
Not so.
不会哟
I made some drawings to illustrate my point.
我画了几幅画来表达我的观点
I call it "Grannies That You Want to Get in Their Panties."
画名为"让你欲♥火♥焚身的祖母们"
Okay.
好的
Check out these fine-lookin' memaws.
看看这些漂亮的祖母们
Goldie Hawn.
戈尔迪·霍恩
I bet she goes overboard
她肯定很热衷于
showering her grandkids with gifts.
给孙辈们买♥♥各种各样的礼物
She was in the movie Overboard.
她演过电影《落水姻缘》
Yeah, I got... I got it.
我明白我明白
Beyonce's mom.
碧昂斯的妈妈
Who runs the world?
谁统治世界
Grandmas.
祖母们
Kris and Caitlyn Jenner.
克丽丝和凯特琳·詹纳
Double granny whammy there.
两个倒霉祖母
And look at this.
看看这个
There's you, Gail.
这是你盖尔
Okay, now, chapter two: Homely Lonelys.
好第二章相貌平平的孤独者
These are plain women who don't have grandkids.
这些是没有孙子孙女的普通女人
See?
看到了吗
Oh, geez!
天啊
Okay, Carol, okay, good.
行了卡萝尔行了
Fine. Your kid can call me Grandma or Memaw
可以你的孩子可以叫我奶奶或者咪妈
or whatever the hell you want.
你随便想让它怎么叫都行
Just let me get back to my cornhole.
你快闪开我要继续玩游戏了
This is the best news. Thank you so much!
真是好消息太谢谢你了
Throwing. Okay.
扔好
Yellow! Whoo!
黄色赞
We're getting close.
就快到了
Tandy, this is ridiculous!
坦迪这太胡闹了
Please take that bag off of your head.
拜托你把那个袋子从头上拿下来
No can do, bud. I can't let you fall in love with me.
不行伙计我不能让你爱上我
I got too much respect for Mark.
我非常尊重马克
It's dangerous.
这样很危险
And I'd say it's more dangerous for you to see me without it.
让你看到不戴这个的我更危险
Tandy, I...
坦迪我
Wait. Stop!
等一下停
What? What?
什么了怎么了
That's our house.
那是我们的房♥子
It's showtime, bud.
好戏开演伙计
Go on up there and, uh, write that note.
你快去写字条留下我们的地址
This is so dumb, this is all so dumb. Tandy!
太蠢了这真是太蠢了坦迪
Well, we're not leaving here until you do it.
你不写的话我们就不离开
Damn it.
该死
Hey, bud. You left the, uh, front door
伙计你把前门
locked behind you, so I, uh, uh...
带上了所以我...
Oh, shoot.
该死
Did you think I was Mark?
你刚才以为我是马克吗
Oh, my God.
天啊
That's my bad. That's a major beef.
是我不好真是误会大了
I'm so sorry. Look, I'm so sorry.
很抱歉我真的很抱歉
Get out. No, no, no.
出去不不不
Get out of my house.
从我家里出去
I wasn't thinking.
我是无心的
You are the most frustrating, annoying lunatic
你是我认识的最让人心烦的
I have ever met! Okay...
神经病行了
And I was on a boat with Pat!
我可是跟帕特一起坐过船的
There you are.
找到你了
Took me forever to make the proper paperwork.
弄好文件太耗时间了
So if I could just get a few Jane Hancocks,
你再签几个名
we'll be all set.
就搞定了
What is all this?
这是什么
Adoption papers.
收养文件
What? Why?
什么为什么
If you're gonna be the baby's grandmother,
如果你要当孩子的奶奶
then I need to be your daughter.
那我就得做你女儿
Don't you think adoption papers are a little bit unnecessary?
你不觉得收养文件有点没必要吗
I would agree with you 100% on opposite day.
我100%同意你是不可能的