最后一个男人（2015）

The Last Man On Earth S03E16

Part 2 Dec. 1, 2020, 5:07 p.m.

We are both so excited about it.
我们都很激动
I'm reminded of the words of Jeopardy!
我想起了危险边缘[问答节目]
Champion Ken Jennings...
冠军肯·詹宁斯说的话
Okay, we're done here.
好的我受够了
I do. Todd? I do, too.
我愿意陶德我也愿意
Going straight into the kiss now.
直接进入亲吻环节了
Um, Uh, I have a statement to...
我还有话要说
Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
女士们先生们
Mr. And Mrs. Chartres-Rodriguez! Huh? And now, uh,
已经是夏特尔·罗德里格斯夫妇了现在
we release the doves, and by doves I mean crickets,
我们放飞鸽子说是鸽子其实是蟋蟀
since all doves are dead.
因为鸽子都死了
Release the crickets!
放飞蟋蟀
Oh, wh... Hey, you guys.
大家伙
It's a symbol of peace.
这是和平的象征
Carol.
卡萝尔
So you still haven't told him?
你还没告诉他吗
Well, we had a talk about it.
我们稍微聊了一下
Oh, yeah?
是吗
And what did you say?
那你说了什么呢
Uh, um, I, well...
我
Oh, right. I said, "Tandy."
对了我说坦迪
And he said, "Yes?"
他说怎么了
And then that's as far as we got.
然后我们就说到这里了
You have to tell him I'm delivering the baby.
你必须告诉他我来帮你生孩子
The only thing that man is qualified to deliver is rancid farts.
男人够格生出来的唯一东西就是臭屁
But he's been studying so hard.
但他真的很用心在学
He wrote whole rap about the stages of labor.
他还把分娩全过程写成了说唱歌♥曲呢
It's very good.
写得很好
Do you want to hear it? No.
你想听听吗不想
**In active labor, what you gonna do*
*要分娩了怎么办
**I'm gonna put on my runnin' shoes*
*我要穿上跑鞋
His plan is to put on shoes?
他的计划就是穿上跑鞋吗
'Cause my plan is to monitor the fetal heartbeat,
我的计划可是监听胎儿心音
time your contractions,
你宫缩的时间
and measure your dilation.
还要测量你宫口开了多少
So you're not gonna wear shoes?
所以你不会穿鞋吗
I'm gonna wear friggin' shoes.
我他妈当然会穿鞋
Carol, do you still want me to deliver this baby?
卡萝尔你还想不想要我接生这个孩子
Of course. But how am I gonna tell him?
当然了但我怎么告诉他呢
You just do it.
就那么说
Yeah. Okay.
好吧好吧
Yeah, just do it.
好吧就那么说
Yeah. Okay.
对啊好的
Okay. Okay.
好的好的
Unique New York.
独一无二的纽约
Red leather, yellow leather. Red leather, yellow leather.
红羽毛黄羽毛红羽毛黄羽毛
Unique New York. Tandy.
独一无二的纽约坦迪
Yes? Remember last month when I said "Tandy"
怎么了还记得上次我说坦迪
and you said, "Yes?"
你说怎么了的时候吗
Of course. Well, there's more.
当然了我有话没说完
W... Uh, can it wait a sec?
等等能等会儿再说吗
I was about to say a few words.
我正准备上去致词呢
Yeah.
好啊
Thank you. Okay.
谢谢你
Gather around, please.
麻烦大家聚过来
And bring your glasses.
记得带上你们的酒杯
I'd like to make a toaster strudel, if I may.
如果可以的话我想说几句祝酒词
Todd, Melissa, I just want to say
陶德梅丽莎我想说
I-I'm so happy for you guys. You know?
我真为你们高兴你们知道吗
You faced some tough times--
你们经历了那么多困苦
we all have.
我们都是如此
My parents-- they never expected much from me.
我父母他们对我没什么期望
And, to be honest, they never got it, you know?
说实话他们没看到这一天
But, uh...
但是
God, if they could see me now, huh?
天哪真希望他们能看到现在的我
You know, delivering my own baby.
给自己的孩子接生
An obgyn.
一位妇产科医生
Friggin' doctor in the family.
我是家里的医生
Mom, Dad, I did good.
爸爸妈妈我做得很好
I did good.
我做得很好
To Tandy.
敬坦迪
To Tandy. To Tandy.
敬坦迪敬坦迪
Did we just toast to Tandy at our wedding? Yeah.
我们是在我们婚礼上敬了坦迪一杯吗是的
So what did you-what did you want to say?
你刚才你刚才想说什么来着
I have diarrhea.
我拉肚子了
When it rains, it pours.
祸不单行啊
You know what that means.
你知道这是什么意思的
Aw, do we have to?
非得这样吗
This is so nice. Isn't this nice?
这太棒了不是吗
It's great. Let's get out of here.
这很棒我们出去吧
What's the rush?
急什么
I want to go have sex. That's the rush.
我想滚床单就急这个
Hon, look, we waited this long.
亲爱的听着我们都等了这么久了
Let's do this the right way.
这次要好好做
Yeah, in the closet. Right now.
是啊在柜子里做就现在
Not again.
又来了
Okay, let's go.
走吧
Look, my first time is not gonna be in some dirty closet.
我的第一次才不要在什么脏柜子里做呢
Oh, my God, Todd, are you trying to make me insane again?
天哪陶德你又要把我逼疯吗
Tandy!
坦迪
You ever had a spoon up your butt?
你屁♥股♥上有插过勺子吗
No.
没有
Look, let's just take a deep breath, okay?
听着深呼吸好吗
Enjoy the reception,
享受这个派对
and then I'll give you a night to remember.
然后我会给你一个难忘的夜晚
Fine, let's do the reception. Dinner now!
那好吧我们继续派对吃晚餐了
So, did you do it?
你说了吗
Yeah.
说了
Oh, Lord, Carol.
天哪卡萝尔
I know you're in a tough position,
我知道你现在很两难
but this has got to be done.
但你必须把这事解决了
His parents are so proud. How's he gonna feel
他的父母如此为他骄傲如果我告诉他
if I tell him that I don't want him to deliver the baby?
我不要他接生他会怎么想
Just blame it all on me; tell him I forbid it
把锅都甩给我就好了告诉他
and that I'm being a massive "B" about it.
我完全是个恶婆娘我不准他接生
No.
不
He's my husband and I'm his wife.
他是我丈夫我是他妻子
This has to come from me.
必须由我来说
So, this just in.
最新消息
Gail forbids you from delivering our baby,
盖尔不让你给我们的孩子接生
and she's being a massive "B" about it.
她完全是个恶婆娘
What?
什么
Why?
为什么
She just put her foot down and said she's gonna be my doctor,
她就直接跟我说要当我的医生
and there's nothing I can do about it.
我也无能为力
But I'm ready for this.
但我都准备好了
I know! And I yelled it at her.
我知道我还吼她了
But she was just like...
但她就...
But this is my child!
但这是我的孩子
That's what I said, but even more emphatically.
我也是这么说的但是语气更强烈
But, yeah, apparently this is just what's happening now.
但是现在现在就这么定了
This is the new normal.
这是新状态
And the sad thing is
而且让人难过的是
I know you would have done a better job.
我知道你会做得更好
And I've said that publicly to a bunch of people.
我在公开场合这么跟很多人说过
Go around and ask.
不信你去问问
No. I am going to go talk to Gail
不我要去跟盖尔谈谈
and tell her this is ridiculous!
告诉她这太荒谬了
I am delivering this baby!
我一定要给孩子接生
Go ahead.
来吧