最后一个男人（2015）

The Last Man On Earth S03E16

Part 3 Dec. 1, 2020, 5:07 p.m.

Finish the job.
一刀了结我
Carol sell me out?
卡萝尔把我出♥卖♥♥♥了
I pleaded with her not to do it,
我求她不要那么做
but you know her, always telling the truth.
但你也知道她就是喜欢说实话
Yeah. It's a wonderful quality.
是那是一种优良品质
You should try it sometime.
你应该也找时间试试
How about right now?
现在如何
You're not good at most things.
你大多数事都不擅长
Name one.
说一个出来
Math, jokes, basic hygiene,
数学笑话基本卫生
ideas, knowing what others think about you.
出主意知道别人对你的看法
You named five-- fail.
你说出了五个失败
Name's Gail. You can have your "F" back.
我叫盖尔不是失败没有F
Sometimes I get my "F"s and my "G"s mixed up.
有时候我是会把F和G混淆
So why don't you fo guck yourselg.
所以你快点死去吧
No matter how much Carol protests,
不管卡萝尔如何抗♥议♥
you are not delivering this baby.
你不能给孩子接生
You've never seen me in an operating room,
你从没见过我进手术室
but I've seen you in one, and it did not go well.
但我见过你最后结果可不好
That was low.
太过分了
I have spent every day of the past six months
过去半年我每天都在准备
preparing for that birth.
为那个孩子接生
I'm ready.
我准备好了
You think so?
是吗
I know so.
是的
And I'm gonna prove it to you.
我会证明给你看
Gail.
盖尔
Tandy.
坦迪
What a glorious opportunity for rebirth.
这真是重生的好机会
God, I'm so happy that my second first time's
天啊真高兴我的第二次第一次
gonna be so special.
会如此特别
You know, 'cause m-my first-first time was not.
因为我的第一次第一次不特别
Her name was Tanya.
她叫坦亚
She was incredibly alluring,
她人特别有魅力
but the mental side was just not there.
但是精神方面有点不太好
I mean,
我是说
the physical side was so there.
身体方面非常好
You know, it was electric.
特别来电
We would glide effortlessly from position to position,
我们很自然地从一个姿势换到另一个姿势
you know, matching each other orgasm for orgasm.
两个人一起从一次高♥潮♥到另一次高♥潮♥
Todd, I've hung in there as long as I could. Can we wrap it up?
陶德我已经尽量坚持了能开始了吗
Be gentle with me.
对我温柔点
God, I hope I remember how to do it.
天啊希望我还记得怎么做
I'm so scared.
我好害怕
Guys! I need you right now!
两位我现在需要你们
Please, follow me! No.
请跟我来不要
No, guys, come on! This is important!
快来这很重要
Tandy, is it more important than me losing my virginity?
坦迪比我失去贞操还重要吗
1,000%, bud.
绝对的伙计
Well, well, well.
好了好了
Thank you all for coming.
谢谢你们过来
As usual, I'll be brief.
我会一如既往地快速说完
No, you won't.
你不会
Now, it's come to my attention that, uh,
我注意到
some people in this, uh...
有些人...
...some people in this, uh--
有些人...
It's come to my attention that some people in this room
我注意到这个屋里有些人
do not believe in my skills
不相信我的技术
as an obstetrician.
不让我做产科医生
Just say "Gail," dummy.
直接说是盖尔就行蠢货
Okay.
好
Gail-dummy does not want me to deliver my own child.
盖尔蠢货不想让我给我自己的孩子接生
Yeah, that's the right call; you would suck.
这个决定很对你肯定不行
Let's go.
我们走
Okay. Well, have a good presentation, bud.
好你好好说伙计
I'm-I'm cool with whatever the group decides.
我同意大家的决定
Thank you, Todd.
谢谢陶德
And I hope Gail is, too.
希望盖尔也是
Now I have prepared a series of demonstrations.
我准备了一系列演示
The first of which
第一个演示
will highlight my hygiene,
会凸显我的卫生
which some have wrongly hinted may be a concern.
有些人暗示这会是一个问题
It was me, and I flat-out said it.
是我我直说的
Well, allow me to assuage your fears.
那就让我打消你的恐惧
In my hands are gloves,
我手上这是手套
but within a matter of seconds, in these gloves will be hands.
几秒后手套里就会是我的手了
Carol, start the timer.
卡萝尔开始计时
Oh, okay.
好
Okay, go!
好开始
Time. Carol, time.
时间卡萝尔时间
Uh, 15 seconds.
15秒
Kind of a lobster claw thing happening.
你那就像龙虾钳一样
I don't need all my fingers to deliver a baby.
给孩子接生不用全部指头都用上
The point is
重点是
cleanliness, sterility, hygiene.
干净无菌卫生
Demonstration number two.
演示二
Some people in this room...
这里有人...
Again, just say me.
直接说我就行
...have wrongly labeled me a klutz.
错误地认为我笨手笨脚
What? Are you afraid I'm gonna drop the baby?
怎么你担心我会把孩子掉到地上吗
'Cause the only place I'm gonna drop this baby
我唯一会把孩子送去的地方
is off at college.
就是大学
The delivery.
传送器
Carol, would you please do the honors?
卡萝尔能劳你大驾吗
It's a simple switch on the side of the machine.
机器一边有个简单的开关
Okay. You'll find it turns on the machine.
好打开就能开动机器
One.
一
Two.
二
Three.
三
Four. Turn it off. Nailed it.
四关掉完胜
Oh, I already asked for the machine to be turned off,
我已经要求关掉机器了
so that one does not count.
所以最后一个不算数
That doesn't prove smack, Tandy.
这什么都证明不了坦迪
Delivering a child requires actual skills,
给孩子接生需要真正的技术
or somebody's gonna get hurt.
否则会有人受伤
Which leads me to demonstration number three.
所以我还有演示三
Now, before me is a baby doll baked into Jell-O.
我前面这是一个放进果冻里的婴儿玩偶
The doll represents our baby, and the Jell-O represents
玩偶代表我们的孩子果冻代表
Carol's delicate womb structures.
卡萝尔精密的子♥宫♥结构
Carol, does that look about right to you?
卡萝尔你觉得像吗
Yeah.
嗯
And, Gail, would you like to taste the Jell-O
盖尔你想尝尝这果冻
to make sure that it's actual Jell-O?
证明这是真的果冻吗
I'm good.
不用了
So, in this demo,
这个演示中
I'm going to prove that I'm capable
我会证明我能够
of safely delivering this baby doll
安全地给这个婴儿玩偶接生
with exactly zero damage to this metorical womb.
完全不伤害母体的子♥宫♥
Behold.
请看
Gently entering the Jell-O canal.
慢慢进入果冻阴♥道♥
How's this feeling, Carol?
感觉如何卡萝尔
Fine.
还行
Okay, good.
那就好
I'm tugging on it a little bit.
稍微拉一下
It's a very tight seal. Good for you, Carol.
很紧真不错卡萝尔
I do squeezers.
我有锻炼
Okay.
好
I can tell.
能看得出
Note that the Jell-O is still fully intact.
注意果冻还是完好无损
No. I'm seeing some cracks there, crackerjack.
不我看到这边裂开了真厉害