一杆入魂（2025）

Stick S01E07

Part 1 Aug. 17, 2025, 6:02 p.m.

我用我的异能冻住你了
I freeze you with my mutant powers.
我动不了了
I can't move.
我动不了了
I can't move.
亲爱的请帮帮我我冻住了
Honey, please help me. I'm frozen.
不准说话你冻住了
No talking! You frozen.
你最好闭上嘴巴
You better zip it.
你也听到异能男孩的话了
You heard Mutant Boy.
现在我该怎么办
What am I supposed to do now?
现在你必须为你的所有罪行受罚
Now you must pay for all your crimes.
手下留情我的钱包里有钱
Please, I have money in my wallet.
能让我拿钱包吗 - 你…
If I can just reach it. - You…
不行你要用你的性命赎罪
No! You must pay with your life.
什么这有点狠啊
What? That's pretty aggressive.
不
No!
你让我碎成一万片了不
You've shattered me in a million pieces. No!
嘿异能男孩别走
Hey, Mutant Boy, wait!
异能男孩求求你别把我留在这里
Mutant Boy, I beg you, don't leave me like this!
爸爸对不起
Dad, I'm sorry.
杰特你在楼上吗
Jett, you upstairs?
怎么了
What's going on?
我不是故意的
I didn't mean to.
那是…
Is that a…
雷龙
A brontosaurus.
最大的四足动物
The largest of the quadrupeds.
难怪水都漫出来了
Well, that explains the flooding.
谜题终于解开 - 这里是什么情况啊
Mystery solved. - What happened?
一只雷龙堵了马桶
Well, we have a brontosaurus stuck in the toilet.
又堵了 - 对
Again? - Yeah.
谁知道马桶是它们的自然栖居所
Who knew that was their natural habitat?
它毕竟是蜥脚类恐龙
Well, I mean, it is a sauropod.
但你知道还有其他水栖恐龙的吧
But there are other aquatic dinosaurs, you know?
比如… - 马桶里还有别的
Like-- - In this toilet?
不当然没有不
No! No, of course not. No.
但特种部队想要救雷龙
But the G.I. Joes, they were trying to save the brontosaurus.
不杰特你不能派他们去做这种送命的任务
No. Jett, you can't send those guys on a fool's mission like that.
那…
That's…
我惹祸了吗 - 这…
Am I in trouble? - Well…
是啊
Yeah!
你不能总把恐龙放进马桶
You gotta keep the dinosaurs out of the toilet.
我觉得就是因为这样它们当初才灭绝
I think that's how they became extinct in the first place.
不恐龙是被小行星毁灭的
No, they were wiped out by an asteroid.
那是另一派的理论
That's another school of thought.
你为什么对恐龙知道这么多
How do you know so much about dinosaurs?
爸爸我七岁了我不是小宝宝了
Dad, I'm seven years old. I'm not a baby.
等等
Wait.
你七岁
You're seven?
好吧我们得谈谈
Okay. We need to talk about this.
你是怎么想的
I mean, what were you thinking?
你有思考吗
Were you even thinking?
我不知道 - 你们当时准备去哪
I don't know. - Where were you going?
没有要去哪我们只是开车四处晃
Nowhere. We were just driving around.
安德斯太太说她看到你们从麦当劳得来速出来
Mrs. Anders said she saw you guys coming out of the McDonald's drive-through.
迪伦想吃沙拉
Dylan needed a salad.
我欣赏迪伦吃的这么健康
Well, I appreciate that Dylan is health-conscious,
但你不能那么做
but you cannot do that.
你知道那有多危险吗
I mean, do you know how dangerous that is?
尤其是大晚上的
Especially at night.
嘿别装沉默这件事很严重
Hey, don't ignore me. This is serious.
你们有可能发生意外的 - 你太大惊小怪了
Something could've happened to you guys. - You're being dramatic.
是吗
Am I?
我觉得我此刻非常沉着冷静
I think I'm being pretty measured and cool
鉴于我13岁的儿子刚开车出门兜风
considering my 13-year-old just took the car out for a joyride.
你一定要告诉妈妈吗
Do you have to tell Mom?
你觉得呢
What do you think?
嘿
Hey.
别走啊我们还没说完
Don't walk away from me. We're not done here.
我都已经道歉了
I said I was sorry.
有吗我怎么没听到
Did you? I didn't hear that.
嘿别走杰特
Hey, don't walk away from me. Jett.
嘿来瓶冰爽啤酒
Hey. Frosty?
嗨普莱斯见到你真好 - 彼此彼此
Hey, Pryce. Good to see you. - Good to see you.
你为什么不告诉她你喜欢她的衬衫
Why don't you just, like, tell her you like her shirt?
女生最爱听
Girls love that.
她们想聊穿搭
They wanna talk about their clothes.
好丢脸 - 什么才不会
So embarrassing. - What? No, it isn't.
简单拿杯柠檬汁给她送过去就行了
Just grab a lemonade and bring it over to her.
不你就…
No. Just…
什么不要 - 不
What? No? - No.
不如你邀请她
What about if you have her, like,
和你一起玩过杆游戏 - 对
do the limbo thing with you? - Yeah.
你泡妞技术好烂
You've got no game.
我很会泡妞的
I have game.
问你父亲我很…
Ask your father. I have…
你妈妈是勾男高手好吗 - 对
Your mom has serious game, okay? - Yeah.
这位勾男高手堪称情场上的
This is the Shaquille O'Neal
沙奎尔奥尼尔 - 哇
of seduction. - Wow.
勾男 - 对
Seduction? - Yeah.
对 - 请永远别再对我说这个词
Yeah. - Please never say that word to me again.
什么你不想听听你妈是怎么勾到我的吗
What, you don't wanna hear how your mom seduced me?
她可是诱人的小妖精
How she's this siren, this temptress.
爸恶心
Dad.
好吧抱歉用柠檬水那招吧
Okay, sorry. Just go with the lemonade.
做你自己就好
And just be yourself.
泡妞只需要做到这点就好
That's all the game you need.
他看起来很帅
He looks good.
是我刮目相看
Yeah. I'm impressed.
不好
Uh-oh.
没在柠檬水摊停留
Passing the lemonade stand…
好吧 - 拒绝老爸的建议
Okay… - …rejecting Dad's idea.
改变战术
Calling an audible.
锁定目标 - 他会出手吗
Target locked. - Is he gonna move in?
加油宝贝你行的
Come on, honey. You got this.
微笑 - 对
Smile. - Yeah.
很好… - 有用
Yeah. Yeah. - It's working.
他们好搭 - 对
They're really cute. - Yeah.
好吧他为什么走了
Okay, why is he walking?
他在后撤 - 等下他干…天啊
He's retreating. - Wait, what's he… Oh, God.
他开始做俯卧撑了
He's doing push-ups.
不行我看不下去了
Wait. I can't watch this.
他为什么要做俯卧撑 - 为什么
Why is he doing push-ups? - Why?
他为什么… - 为什么…
Why is he doing… - Why would you do…
等等不…
Wait, no, no, no.
这招有用
It's working.
俯卧撑竟然有用
Push-ups worked.
天啊 - 他和他妈一样是高手
Oh, my God. - He's got game like his mom.
谁想得到
Who knew?
嘿普莱斯
Hey, Pryce!
你是想让我长白头发吗
Are you trying to give me gray hair?
发生了什么
What's going on?
你儿子和康纳决定
Your son and Conor decided to give each other
用这个帮对方纹文身 - 不
homemade tattoos with this. - No.
你们有给针消毒吗你知道这样可能会感染肝炎吗
Did you even clean the needle? Do you know this is how you get hepatitis?
是吗甲肝还是乙肝
Is that right? A or B?
所有类型各种肝炎
All of 'em. All of the hepatitises.
谁在乎看看你儿子的肩膀 - 爸本来是…
Who cares? Look at your son's shoulder. - Dad, it was supposed to be…
本来是想纹一只老鹰的 - 好吧
it was supposed to be an eagle. - Okay.
看起来不像老鹰
That doesn't look like an eagle.
我知道爸康纳是个混♥蛋♥ 他觉得这样很好笑
I know, Dad. Conor's an asshole. He thought it'd be funny.
我要打给他妈妈 - 不
I'm calling his mother. - No.
不要…请别打给他妈妈
No, no, no. Please don't call his mom.