太空部队（2020）

Space Force S01E02

Part 2 July 3, 2020, 10:15 a.m.

Assess and inventory.
我们在艾瑟伦方圆160千米内还有什么能用上的？
What assets do we have within a 100-mile radius of Epsilon?
四件太空垃圾
Four pieces of space junk
分别是1990年航♥天♥任务所产生三袋垃圾外加一辆特斯拉
consisting of three bags of garbage from a 1990 shuttle mission and a Tesla.
另外这边还有一样东西
Also, there's something here
这台电脑上只显示了“X-12任务”
that this computer only identifies as "Mission X-12. "
我的安全许可级别不够看不到是什么
I don't have the security clearance to see what it is.
用我的密♥码♥ 我来输入
Use my code. I'll type it in. Okay.
好了打开了
Okay. It's open.
评估状况罗列选项
Assess and inventory.
这是两个月前发射升空的搭载物品：突击步♥枪♥ 十把
This launched two months ago. On board: assault rifles, ten.
突击步♥枪♥？
Assault rifles?
这不是一项与科学相关的任务各位
This was not a scientifically useful mission, guys.
所以我没有告诉你们
I kept it from you.
这项任务由总统本人亲自下令结果非常的成功
It was a very successful mission, ordered by POTUS himself,
证明了突击步♥枪♥ 在太空的真空环境中也能正常使用
which proved that assault rifles will work in the vacuum of space.
这点没人♥质♥疑过
Which was never in doubt.
但现在曼彻斯特军械公♥司♥ 可以做广♥告♥说R-9突击步♥枪♥
But now the Manchester Arms Company can advertise the R-9
是太空部队的官方用枪
as the official Space Force gun
在月球上制♥造♥大规模枪击事件用
for committing mass shootings on the moon.
或者是打猎用
Or hunting.
好了请别谈政见！
Okay, okay, no politics, please!
我们都宣誓过要捍卫宪法
We all took an oath to defend the Constitution,
而不是捍卫政党
not a political party.
在座的各位都是美国人
We are all Americans here.
就连陈和范德…弗…弗兰克也是
Even Chan and Vanden-f-flank.
-我是欧盟公民 -加拿大人
I'm an EU citizen. -Canadian.
印度移♥民♥
Indian immigrant.
有绿卡
On a green card.
-斯里兰卡人 O-1工作签证 -我们没时间搞这个！
Sri Lankan with an O-1 work visa. -We don't have time for this!
继续陈
Keep going, Chan.
好的搭载的还有：组合工具箱 2-A
Okay, also on board: assorted tool package 2-A.
猩猩粮十袋
Bags of chimp food, ten.
狗粮十袋
Bags of dog food, ten.
猩猩成年雄性
Chimp, adult male.
狗成年雄性
Dog, adult male.
动物实验是由我来管理的
I’m in charge of animal experimentation.
上面怎么会搭载动物的？
Why were there animals on board?
你想来解释一下吗？
Would you like to handle that?
白宫强烈认为
The White House felt very strongly
能拍到宇航狗狗和宇航猩猩的录像是很值得的
that footage of a dogstronaut and a chimpstronaut would be worthwhile
这将会…
and would be, um. . .
怎么说来着？
what's the word?
“爆红网络”
Viral.
这提醒到我了：去个人把操蛋托尼从禁闭室里放出来
That reminds me, someone release Fuck Tony from the brig.
就是说史无前例的科学进展还不够
So the groundbreaking science was not enough.
我们需要搞些华而不实的东西遛个狗耍场猴戏才行
We needed a literal dog and pony show, recast with a chimp.
是！
Yes!
但是
But that is something
这么一来我们可以做点文章了
that we can work with.
现在我们有了一架载人飞船好吧载的是人类最好的朋友
We have a manned flight or man's best friend.
前线有我们的人员了啊
We have personnel in the field.
对但最佳人选在我们地上这里
Yes, but we have the best personnel here on the ground,
而且修理巴士的最佳人选
and surely it is the people who invented the bus,
肯定是发明巴士的人而不是司机
rather than the driver, who are the best people to fix it.
你可是在跟一个飞行员说话记住到底谁才是开飞机的人
You're talking to a pilot. Remember who flies the plane.
大部分飞机都是自动驾驶的
Most planes fly by autopilot.
-闭嘴陈 -大部分巴士也是
Shut up, Chan. -Well, most buses, too.
很快所有人就都要失业了除了科学家意外
Soon, everybody will be out of a job, except scientists.
我觉得大和的太阳帆团队是我们最可靠的选择
I think Yamato's light sail team are our best bet.
是可我不懂那是什么啊
Yeah, but I don't understand what that is.
沃伦·巴菲特常说他不在科技上投资
Warren Buffett always says that he doesn't invest in tech
因为他不懂科技
because he doesn't understand it.
等等你说说看你为什么不信任科学家？
Wait, look, why do you distrust scientists?
你们这些科学家今天还说“别吃碳水”
You scientists say "don't eat carbs" one day,
明天又改口说“只吃碳水”！
and "only eat carbs" the next!
这是因为对大量样本和长时间的需求
Because of the large sample sizes and long time periods,
营养学本来就是一门不准确的学科…
dietary science is by nature an imprecise sci--
闭嘴！
Shut up!
我想跟这只猩猩聊一聊
I wanna talk to this chimp.
我们能来个视频会议吗？
Can we get a video conference going?
陈上面有没有写是谁训练了这只狗和这只猩猩？
Chan, does it say who trained the dog and the chimp?
有我可以请他们过来
Yes. I can have them brought in.
将军我必须先告诫你
General, I have to warn you.
过去的两周内我们基本上算是忽略了这两只动物
We've pretty much ignored these animals for the last two weeks.
看起来没有进行任何将它们带回家的准备所以我们…
It seems there was no provisions made to bring them home, so we. . .
跟它们玩了把消失
ghosted them.
你玩了啥？
You what?
这是常规操作返程舱对于动物任务来说太昂贵了
It's standard. The reentry capsules are too expensive for animal missions.
所以莱卡、戈尔迪、德吉克、丽莎、阿尔伯特二号♥
So, Laika, Gordie, Dezik,
-阿尔伯特四号♥… -四号♥
Lisa, Albert II, Albert IV. . . -Four.
在任务完成后全都被留在了那里
. . . were all left there after the mission was accomplished,
而这次呢原来是为了拍一些可爱的录像而已
which, in this case, was apparently obtaining cute footage.
这也太糟糕了
That's horrible.
这样可不好
Not nice.
我们真可耻！
Shame on us!
我找到了一些录像
I found some of the footage.
（“动物宇航员在工作” 太空部队媒体部：即刻公布）
不过确实挺可爱的
That is cute, though.
任务完成
Ah. Mission accomplished.
-再放一遍 -没时间了
Play it again. -No time.
别瞎搞布拉德
Come on, Brad.
我是马库斯和西奥多的训练师
I'm Marcus and Theodore's trainer.
哪一只是狗来着？
Ah. Uh, which one is the dog?
西奥多
Uh, Theodore.
好了当务之急是
Well, first things first,
哪一只更适合修东西？
which one would better suited to fix something?
哦这个嘛应该是马库斯
Okay, well, probably Marcus.
毕竟对狗来说使用工具要困难许多
It's way more difficult for a dog to handle a tool.
你具体要让它做什么？
What exactly are you expecting him to do?
我想让它到航♥空♥舱外进行一次太空行走
I want him to do a spacewalk outside of the capsule,
将两片太阳能电板焊回艾瑟伦6号♥上
and weld two solar panels back onto the Epsilon 6.
好吧这是不可能的
Okay, well, that's not gonna happen.
最好给我想办法变可能了
It had better happen because it is our best hope
因为这是我们挽救这颗价值数十亿卫星的最大希望
of salvaging a satellite worth billions.
我们的最大希望是大和的太阳帆
Our best hope are Yamato's light sails.
下士这会面临哪些挑战？
Shh! Corporal, what are the challenges here?
这个嘛训练新行为要花上不少时间
Well, it takes quite a while to train a new behavior,
而这听起来像是一系列的新行为
and this sounds like a string of new behaviors.
还有实验至少在十天前就结束了
Uh, the experiment ended at least ten days ago,
所以我不知道还剩下什么点心来强化它的行为
so I don't know what treats are left to reinforce him with.
那“职责”呢？如今职责也算不上点心了吗？
What about duty? Is that not enough of a treat anymore?
好吧我会尽力的
Look, I'll do my best.
我会努力让它牢记这项新任务的重要性
And I will try to impress upon him the importance of this new mission.
好了那你是如何跟它交流的？
All right, so how do you communicate with. . .
叫啥来着？马库斯？
What? Marcus is it?
手语
Uh. . . sign language.
你知道这是一只黑猩猩对吧？
You do realize this is a chimpanzee?
是当然了
Yes. Yes, of course.
一只名叫马库斯的太空部队黑猩猩
A Space Force chimpanzee named Marcus.
好了把它连到屏幕上来我们没什么时间了
All right, get him up on the screen. We do not have much time.
马库斯！
Marcus!
马库斯？
Marcus?
这边马库斯！
Here, Marcus!
这里！
Up here. -
它在干什么呢？用手势比划什么吗？
What is he doing? Is he signing something?
是的它在说“猴宝宝”
Yes. He's saying "baby monkey. "
天呐它想自己的孩子了
Oh. Jesus, he misses his children.
不在大自然中猩猩只要有机会找到猴宝宝
No. In nature, chimps eat baby monkeys
就会把它们吃掉的
whenever they can their hands on them.
去谷歌♥一下
Google it.