太空部队（2020）

Space Force S01E03

Part 2 July 3, 2020, 10:15 a.m.

Isn't any thinking to you "overthinking"?
“一个能在今日粗暴执行的好计划也好过下周才能执行的完美计划”
"A good plan, violently executed now, is better than a perfect plan next week. "
巴顿将军说的
General Patton.
“一品脱的汗水能挽救一加仑的鲜血”
"A pint of sweat will save a gallon of blood. "
巴顿将军说的
General Patton.
“有人该站出来带领有人该乖乖听令
"Someone needs to lead, and someone needs to follow,
但他们都是平等的都在一条船上”
but they are both equally on the same team. "
内尔德将军说的
General Naird.
不！你不可以只有参谋长能进去
No, no, no! Not you. Joint Chiefs only.
（参谋长黄金屋）
这些听证会完全是狗屁
Ah, these hearings are bullcrap.
我们有一半的军费开支是不透明的何必开这个会呢？
We don't come clean about half our defense spend, so what's the point?
对太空部队来说可不是狗屁
Well, it's not bullcrap for Space Force.
这是你头一回坐上这把难坐的交椅啊
First time with your keister in the hot seat.
也可能是最后一回
Might be your last.
大家好呀！
Hey, guys!
-你来干什么？ -滚出去！
What are you doing? -Get out!
-滚！ -海岸警卫队不得入内
Out! -No Coast Guard!
别这样呀唉
Oh, come on, man.
喂内尔德？
Hey, Naird? -Hmm?
如果你回击那帮中国人需要帮忙的话
If you need any help getting back at the Chinese
报毁你卫星的仇我们可以海陆夹击…
for what they did to your satellite, a little ground-and-pound. . .
随便要怎样跟我说声就行
Whatever, I don't know. Let me know.
海军陆战队任由你差遣
Marines at your disposal.
你的提议我心领了但我们自己可以
I appreciate the offer, but we're good.
实际上这次与中国人的摩擦
In fact, this little dust-up with the Chinese made us even stronger.
使得我们更强大了我还有点高兴呢
I'm kinda glad it happened.
我只希望我们的猩猩能扛得住中国人的严刑逼供
I just hope that our monkey doesn't crack under Chinese interrogation.
什么？
What?
当我没说现在我最担心的是我们的首席科学家
Never mind. My main concern is our head scientist.
他真是太难对付了
He is just a pain in the ass.
是啊我都不知道你怎么忍♥的
Yeah, I don't know how you do it.
想象一下一群穿白大褂的教我们怎样入侵伊♥拉♥克♥
Imagine lab coats telling us how to invade Iraq.
“噢千万别炸那里啊那可是头濒危的牦牛呀”
"Oh, you can't bomb there, that's an endangered yak. "
你看起来挺镇静的啊内尔德
You seem pretty calm, Naird.
干嘛不镇静？
Why wouldn't I be?
五角大楼今年的预算请求创了历史新高
Pentagon's got a record-high budget request.
全都是因为你
And all because of you.
你们这支一无所成的新军除了知道在发射台里玩爆♥炸♥
A new branch that's done nothing but blow up on launchpads
就是让那帮中国人把筷子伸进我们的屁♥眼♥里
and let the Chinese slide their chopsticks up our buttholes.
真够恶心的
That's disgusting.
喔当然恶心了
Oh, it's disgusting, all right.
恶心的是把太空部队从我手上夺走
Disgusting that Space Force was taken from me
交到了一个新泽西的傻♥逼♥手上
and handed to a New Jersey nincompoop.
但我相信在听证会开完后委员会也会得出这个结论的
But I'm sure the committee will come to that conclusion
把你那玩意从我面前挪开谢谢
after we testify. Get your junk out of my face, please.
下跪吧
Kneel. -What?
-什么？ -跪在我面前
Kneel before me and pledge loyalty
向伟大的基克·格拉巴斯顿将军宣誓效忠吧
to the great General Kick Grabaston,
这样我就在听证会上给你留点情面
and I'll show mercy to you at the hearing.
太空部队是哪儿也不会去的
Space Force isn't going anywhere.
我也不会
And neither am I.
你肯定会的内尔德
Oh, you're going somewhere, Naird. By the end of this hearing,
听证会结束之后我必定会吸收太空部队及其预算
I'm going to reabsorb Space Force and its budget,
好像世上最强大的卫生棉一样
like the world's most powerful tampon.
我向来都觉得你就是一条卫生棉
I always thought that you were a tampon.
卫生棉这个东西啊整天待在一堆阴♥道♥里
Tampons spend all day in vaginas.
没什么比这更男人的了要是你问我的话
Nothing manlier, if you ask me.
整天？最多就五小时吧
All day? Five hours, tops.
要是你有子♥宫♥纤维瘤就只有三小时她肯定懂我在说什么
Three if you have uterine fibroids. She knows what I'm talking about.
再把我的性别扯进来我保证操爆你的菊花
Acknowledge my gender again, and I will fuck you in the ass.
充分了解
Duly noted.
充“粪”了解
Duly noted.
真不敢相信你平时就干这个来打发时间
I can't believe this is how you spend your free time.
你知道么你不用傻坐在这里的
You know, you don't have to just sit there.
你也可以去健个身啊什么的
You could maybe work out, or anything.
不用了我很清楚自己能做什么谢谢
No, I'm very aware of my options. Thank you.
喂剩饭妹有在地上找到啥大♥麻♥烟好让我们抽一口的么？
Hey, Scraps. See any joints laying around that we could smoke?
这笑话好好笑啊胡里欧
That was a great one, Julio.
我讲得太他妈到位了！
I fucking nailed it!
喂你们俩给我回来
Hey. You two. Get back here.
立刻！
Now.
嗯你们刚才对我的客人出言不逊
Yeah, you, uh- you said something disrespectful to my guest,
所以我要罚你们跑步到东发射台去
so you're gonna take a little run. East launchpad.
-这么远啊长官 -还要跑回来
That's very far, ma'am. -And back.
-这样几乎有两倍远啊长官 -遵命长官我们立刻就跑
That's almost twice as far, ma'am. -Yes, ma'am, right away. Running now.
那个…
So,
“剩饭妹”背后的故事是…
the story behind "Scraps" is--
嘿我不需要知道
Oh, hey, I don't need to know.
那个我还以为你在学校很受欢迎呢
So, I thought you'd be Miss Popular in school.
这个嘛呃…
Well, uh, "DC popular" is very different
受华府欢迎与受野马村欢迎是很不一样的
from "Wild Horse popular. " -Ah.
在野马村重要的事主要跟越野摩托车有关
In Wild Horse, what matters mostly relates to, uh, dirt bikes.
是的还有你灌激浪的本事
-Yeah. Ability to chug Mountain Dew.
好吧但你到底有没有给学校里的人机会啊
Okay, but did you even give anyone at school a chance,
还是像个白版玛利亚·奥巴马令人难以接近？
or did you just stroll in there like a white Malia Obama?
是他们没给我机会
They didn't give me a chance.
好吗？我甚至还假装自己爱打猎呢
Okay? I even pretended to like hunting.
但他们问：“什么猎物？”
But they asked, "Hunting what? "
-然后我一慌张说了“鲸鱼” -不是吧
And then I panicked and said "whales. " -You did not.
是啊
Yeah. -
马洛里博士对不对？
Dr. Mallory, is it?
格拉巴斯顿将军你好
General Grabaston. Hi.
久仰
Big fan.
-谢谢 -久仰
Thank you. -Big fan.
那么太空部队那边都还好吗？
So, how's it going at Space Force?
有待提高
Could be better.
我想也是
I bet.
内尔德就是个野蛮人
Naird is a brute. Mm.
那些冰啊真是太可惜了
Damn shame about the ice.
什么冰？
What ice?
地球各地正在融化的冰啊
The ice that's melting everywhere on Earth.
对
Uh. . . yes.
是呀我…
Yeah, I. . .
我可在乎那些冰了
I care about the ice. . .
还有那些要靠冰才能生存的动物
and the animals that depend on that ice to live.
冰鸟啊
Ice birds.
冰熊呀
Ice bears.
你知道么…
Hmm. You know. . .
今天假如在里面的委员会失去了信心的话
if the committee loses faith in Naird today,
太空部队就要由我来接管了
I would run Space Force.
我会给你两倍的运营资金
And I would have you operating with twice the funding
同时给你零监管
and none of the oversight.
我觉得我们不该讨论这件事
I'm not sure we should be having this conversation.
噢我们绝不是在讨论而已
Oh, we're not having this conversation.
我们听证会上见
I'll see you at the hearing.
做好被震惊的准备吧
Prepare to have your mind blown.
一定要是外星人啊
Please be aliens. Please be aliens.
好吧并不完全是但与我们的外星人一样
Okay, well, not quite. But like our aliens,
我们也把这玩意冻起来锁在容器里面
we do keep it frozen and in locked containers.
“阿姆斯特凉”？
Meal Armstrong's?
“个人的一份小吃全人类的一杯大汽水”
"One small snack for a man, one large soda for mankind. "
-哇喔 -太好了！
Wow. -Yes!
这是野马镇最好吃的阿萨伊果杯
It is the best acai in Wild Horse.
好吧这是野马镇唯一的阿萨伊
Well, I mean, it's the only acai in Wild Horse.
但这真的非常好吃
But it is so, so good.
嘿
Hey.
我认识你
I know you.
我看过你洗澡
I've seen you taking a bath.
什么？
Mm-- -What?
你♥爸♥桌子上有张你的照片
Your dad has photos of you on his desk.