太空部队（2020）

Space Force S01E06

Part 3 July 3, 2020, 10:15 a.m.

That's the molly person? Doesn't matter. That's not why I'm here.
今天是总统的生日
It is POTUS's birthday,
他想要太空部队送个特别的东西给他
and he wants something special from Space Force.
这是公事吗？
Is this official business?
不能算但是
Not exactly, but
当我们把这份又酷又太空的东西送给大佬做生日礼物
when we deliver something cool and spacey for the big guy's big day,
你呀我的朋友肯定会从这位感恩的总统那里得到感激的
you, my friend, will get the gratitude of a grateful president.
你能想象一下自己远在蒙古的父母有多骄傲吗？
Can you imagine how proud your parents would be over in, uh. . .
-巴尔的摩 -巴尔的摩
Mongolia? Baltimore. -Baltimore.
不可思议你们那儿也有个巴尔的摩？
That's insane. You have a Baltimore too?
-太疯狂了吧好嘞这样 -行
That is crazy! Okay. Okay.
你我搭档一起想一个礼物出来
Okay, all right. Let's think of a gift. Together. As a team.
开始想
Here we go. Uh, la, la, la. . .
你有没有隐形斗篷？
Do you have an invisibility cloak?
当然除我之外这里每个人都穿着呢
Absolutely. Everyone's wearing one but me.
不是吧
No. -Mm-hmm.
去你的
Fuck you.
这不是真的
That's not real.
肯定不是真的我们一起来想件真实的东西吧
That's not real. Let's think of something real together.
一起想件真实的东西出来吧
Let's think of something real together.
（小费谢谢）
你好
Hello,
艾琳·内尔德小姐如果我没记错的话
Miss Erin Naird, if I recall correctly.
你还真没记错
You do recall correctly,
尽管我们只见过一次面
even though we only met once.
还是在三周前
Three weeks ago.
跟踪狂
Stalker.
好吧我无法否认你的确让我印象很深
Um. . . Well, I can't deny you did make an impression.
我在你脑中这片阿♥拉♥巴马州的柔软泥土上留下了一个小脚印啊
Oh. I left a little footprint on the soft, Alabama soil of your brain.
你记得我从哪里来的
You remember where I'm from.
不是很清楚
Not exactly.
是你的口音暴露了你来自“蠢州” 我只是按字母顺序猜而已
Your accent says "dumb state, " and I was going alphabetically.
那么
So,
要我给你来一碗“阿产尹”么？
can I offer you a little "ack-eye"?
嗯这正是我来这里的原因之一
Oh. Well, that's part of the reason why I'm here.
我们上次对话时我意识到我可能把这个词说错了
Last time we spoke, I learned I might be saying that wrong.
不会吧
No!
假新闻
Fake news.
发音应该是“阿萨伊”
It is pronounced "ah-sigh-ee. "
瞧瞧你哟
Look at you.
你对着镜子好好练习了一番
You practiced in the mirror,
读得真标准为此
and you nailed it. For that,
你赢得了一碗神圣的浆果
you have earned the sacred berry bowl.
上面再冠以船长的嘎嘣脆
Crowned with the Crunch of Capitan.
你记住了我点的单
You remembered my order.
没错邓肯要忘记一个成年人点儿童麦片
Yes, Duncan, it's hard to forget the sight of a grown man
来做加料甜点的景象是很困难的
ordering children's cereal as a dessert topping.
而且你还记得我的名字
And you remembered my name.
嗯让每个顾客都受到特别待遇是我们阿姆斯特凉的宗旨
Well, we do try to make it special here at Meal Armstrong.
之前叫“猎户腰带堡”
Formerly Orion's Melt.
再之前叫“五幺吃区”
Formerly Area Fifty Yum.
老铁们记得要再回来关顾呀知道了不？
Y'all come back and order some more, ya hear?
哟喂呆子们？你们要吃什么？
Yo. What's up, nerds? What do you want?
在这里我就知道他这只手♥机♥有问题
There, I knew it. He's doing something with his phone.
-抢下来！ -喂干嘛啊
Grab it! -Hey. Come on.
-从他手里夺下来 -等等
Get it from him. -Wait.
把他的大拇指按在屏幕上
Get his thumb on the screen.
打开屏幕把他大拇指按上去把他的大拇指按在屏幕上
Open the screen. Get his thumb down. Put his thumb on the screen.
对了很好
All right, good.
好嘞看看你是在向谁泄露情报
Okay, let's see who you've been feeding information to.
莫迪总理是不是？
Prime Minister Modi, perhaps?
打开短♥信♥…
Go to texts. . .
基克·格拉巴斯顿？
Kick Grabaston?
空军？搞什么鬼？
The Air Force? What the hell?
-好了那些都是机密 -现在不是了
All right, those are confidential. -Not anymore.
“马克的老婆为了逃避自己的婚姻
"Mark's wife had to go to maximum security prison
连高度设防的重刑监狱都愿意去蹲”
just to escape her marriage"?
实际上她是因为犯了重罪才进去的
Actually, she committed a very serious crime.
-好能把手♥机♥还我了吗？ -不别过来
Okay, can I have my phone back? -No, get away. Get away.
这条是基克发的
This is from Kick.
“马克就如同太空部队的阑尾
"Mark is the appendix of Space Force.
一无是处
Useless.
而且早晚有天会爆♥炸♥”
And one day it will explode. "
你可能会想让你的笔友知道一下
You might wanna let your pen pal know
阑尾是众多有益菌的藏身处
the appendix is a safe house for good bacteria.
谢谢你阿德里安
Thank you, Adrian.
让我们看看我以你的身份回信息会怎么样
Let's see how it works when I text him back as you.
“内尔德在这次的印度危机上处理得非常出色”
"Naird is handling this India crisis brilliantly. "
他在回复了
He's responding.
“内尔德是你发的吗？”妈的
"Naird, is that you? " Shit.
但我们必须让他以为这是巴克斯特发的
But he has to think it's written by Baxter.
所以快侮辱你自己
So insult yourself.
-侮辱我自己？ -就…
Insult myself? -Just--
语♥音♥转文字
Voice to text.
马克是一个小肉球丑得跟费斯特叔叔一样
Mark is a little chunk ball who looks like Uncle Fester
古板到屁♥股♥紧得能
with an ass so tight,
把自己大便里的玉米夹成钻石
he can make diamonds from the corn in his turds.
-天呐阿德里安 -发送
Jesus, Adrian. -Send.
拜托
Well-- -Come on.
他回复了
-He wrote back.
-“大笑” -好吧
"LOL. " -Okay.
嗯你猜怎么着？我们干脆就狠一点
Yeah. No. You know what? Let's ram it home.
陈是怎么说你来着？
What did Chan say about you?
够了
Enough, enough, enough.
原来你没在帮印度而是在帮基克打探情报
So you're not spying for India, but you are spying for Kick.
我都不知道哪一样更糟
And I don't know which one is worse.
我要把你调到“太空栏队”去
I'm transferring you to Space Fence.
等等那不是…
Wait. Isn't that--
没错那是一个位于南太平洋一座孤岛上的观测站
Yeah, yeah, it's a monitoring station on an island in the South Pacific,
涨潮时基本上全被淹没在水下
and, at high tide, it is mostly submerged.
所以我建议你去了以后睡在上铺比较好
So I suggest that when you get down there, you take the top bunk.
我就从来没喜欢过巴克斯特
I never did like Baxter.
他吃墨西哥卷饼时就好像在慢慢脱它衣服似的
He eats a burrito like he's slowly undressing it.
-下一个是谁？ -先生们
Oof. Who's next? -Gentlemen.
将军请容我说一句我感到非常遗憾
General, let me say I am very sorry
你拜访罪犯妻子的性♥爱♥之旅被取消了
for canceled sex visit with your convict wife.
-你是怎么知道的？ -观察出来的
How do you know about that? -From observation.
你走路的样子
The way you walk.
等等
Wait. . .
你们觉得我是间谍？
you think I'm spy?
这个想法我们确实有过对
The thought has crossed our minds, yeah.
拜托我的电♥话♥一直在响根本没停过
Please, my phone doesn't stop ringing.
“尤里为什么连印度都有天马了俄♥国♥却没有？
Like, "Yuri, why does India have Pegasus and not Russia?
给你工资是干嘛的？”
What are we paying you for? "
“总统先生父亲我很抱歉”
"Mr. President, Father, I am sorry. "
你们明白吗？
You see?
我们的利益是一致的
Our interests, the same.
让鲍比帮助你们
Let Bobby help you.
做联邦调查员又不需要高学历的咯
You don't need an advanced degree to be FBI.
其实还真需要
Actually, you do.
大部分不是律师就是会计师
Most of them are either lawyers or accountants.
你认为这些算高级学位真是太逗趣了
It's amusing you consider those advanced degrees.
那你觉得我们该怎么做？
So what do you think we should do?
你们查过所有的监控摄像头了没？
Do you have all the security cameras checked?
我们查过了
We have.
没什么帮助
They weren't helpful.
那就问问自己是谁安装的
Then ask yourself who installed them.
平民包工头凯莉·金
Civilian contractor, Kelly King.
他说得有理
He has a point.
凯莉？
Kelly? -Maybe.
她人这么好
She's so nice.