瑞克和莫蒂（2013）

Rick and Morty S05E10

Part 2 Sept. 7, 2021, 2:52 p.m.

第一场历险能先把我变回来吗？
Can we make our first adventure fixing this?
我一直在想草坪的事 -好吧
I keep thinking about lawn care. -Okay, buddy.
谁卖♥♥这烂老化药水给你？
Who sold you this shitty aging serum?
长什么样子？ -跟你一样
What did he look like? -Just like you.
我是在大本营买♥♥的 -太棒了
I-I got it from the Citadel. -Hot damn.
快来点大本营的情节吧
Hittin' the ground running with a Citadel episode.
再见了，各位废物
See ya later, masturbators.
嗨，我是大本营的新吉祥物小和
Hi! I'm Citadel's new mascot, Andy,
因为这里有瑞克、和、莫蒂
because this place wouldn't be home without Ricks "Andy" Mortys.
真蠢
Dumb.
这里发生了什么事？
Ooh, what happened to this place?
这里现在有个莫蒂总统了
There's a Morty president now.
真可爱，这里重建得很好
Aw, that's cute. They rebuilt. They made it nicer.
这里变成格伦代尔了
They made it Glendale.
天啊，你脾气真暴躁
God damn, you are cantankerous.
我现在连拉屎都会痛
Even pooping hurts now.
是吗？这里会把你修好的
Yeah, well, this place is gonna fix you right up.
好，有个标准莫蒂
Okay, so, we've got a standard Morty
被老化到40岁了吗？
that's been aged to...40?
可以逆转吗？
Can you reverse it?
想成是骨头
Well, if you look at it like a bone,
我们可以把他的年龄
what we can do is break his age in two places,
断成三截，取出中间那段，再把头尾两段接起来
remove the middle, and graft its ends back together.
听起来好暴♥力♥
Th-that sounds really violent.
不是真正的骨头，莫蒂
It's not a literal bone, Morty.
好
Oh, okay.
但这过程也会
Ah, brace yourself, the process does also
弄断全身的骨头
break every bone in your body.
等等
Wait! Aah! Ooh! Ow!
我喜欢蜡笔 -女生好恶
I like crayons. -Girls are gross.
我好像变回原样了
I-I think I feel like myself again.
你看起来有点怪
Uh, you look a little weird.
全身都是粉红色，就像老鼠宝宝
Your skin's all pink like a baby mouse.
这是正常的吗？ -应该是
I-Is that normal? -Probably.
要存放或清除我们取出的26年
Uh, sign here for storage or disposal
请在这里签名
of the 26 years we removed.
什么？
Wait, what?
我不要花钱存放那26年
I ain't payin' to store 26 years.
那你们就得带走
Well, then you're taking it with you.
我快准备好抛弃原则了
I'm almost ready to sell out.
好吧，清除要多少钱？
Alright, what's disposal cost?
发生了不公义的事
Oh! -S-something unfair's happening.
根本无法逃脱，无法逃脱
There's no escape. No escape!
我来帮你，这样不好看
Let me help you! This is not a good look.
天啊 -他们对我开了枪
Oh, boy. -Hey! They -- they shot me!
你对大本营体验造成很大的伤害
You are seriously hurting the Citadel experience.
听我说 -把枪放下
Listen to me! -Drop the gun!
我们都即将面临死亡
Death is coming for us all,
大本营是大规模杀伤…
and the Citadel is a weapon of mass des--
你会被停职留薪
Woof. You're about to get suspended with pay.
走吧，莫蒂，这快变政♥治♥事件了
Come on, Morty, let's get outta here before this gets political.
我很有影响力吗？
Oh! Was I... influential?
对，你很有影响力
Yeah, y-you were influential.
你有七个博客
Y-You had like seven -- seven blogs.
赞
Tight. Oh.
太迟了
Ugh. Too late.
瑞克C-137
Rick C-137,
莫蒂总统邀请你跟他共进晚餐
President Morty requests you join him for dinner.
天啊，真的吗？
Whoa! S-Seriously?
我之前把这里摧毁了
You know I destroyed this place.
总统已经特赦你了，先生
You've been pardoned for that, sir.
瑞克，我们去跟莫蒂总统吃饭
Rick! Let's have dinner with the Morty President.
莫蒂，我们该进行小历险才对
Morty, the idea was to get back to simple adventures.
大本营都得按照正规剧情来
The Citadel runs on canon.
好吧，看来状况真的
Okay. I guess things really are just going right back
完全没变
to how they were.
好吧，我可以吃点东西
Fine. I could eat.
但他只要开始耍坏，我们就走人
But the second he reveals he's evil, we're gone.
这其实还蛮好吃的
I dunno. It tastes... pretty good.
好，你有中毒感再告诉我
Okay, let me know if you start feeling poisony.
很高兴能跟你合体
Good to have you back, buddy.
抱歉，我迟到了，有好多事要忙
Sorry I'm late. Never really ends around here.
你看
Look at this, Morty.
真的有莫蒂选上总统了
They really did make a you the president.
我每天都很讨厌选我的人
And I hate 'em every day for it.
天啊，瑞克C-137
But wow! Rick C-137.
你是需要特别排开行程见的贵宾
Now, that's a guy to move your schedule around for.
希望你不会再来把这里炸烂
Not -- Not here to blow the place up again, I hope.
除非你想把我留下来
Ha! Not unless you try to keep me here.
天啊，我想都不敢想
Ha-ha, geez. Wouldn't dream of it.
但你能来真是太好了
But it's amazing you dropped by
因为我本来想找你
because I was eventually gonna hunt you down.
他要耍坏了，来吧
There's the reveal. Let's dance.
真是的 -瑞克，别这样
Ha! Geez. -Rick, come on, man.
他都选上总统了，是瑞克和莫蒂选的
The guy got elected president by Ricks and Mortys.
他人很好 -每个政客人都很好
He's being really nice. -All politicians are nice.
他脾气还真暴躁，对吧？
He's a hot bag of peanuts, isn't he?
我们经历了很多事
We've been through a lot.
他不喜欢…连续剧情
A-And he does not like --Serialized drama.
好，只要走单集剧情就好
Right, no drama. Keep it episodic.
瑞克从不留恋过去
Ricks never look back.
这对传奇人物来说太可惜了
Waste of a legend in his case.
你知道这里算是他建立的吗？ -等等，什么？
You know he practically built this place? -Wait, what?
你现在经营得很好，对吧？
And now you're running it squeaky clean, right?
才会有畸形莫蒂
That's why you got deformed Mortys
从下水道冒出来
coming up through the sewer lines
说着关于希望和改变的事？
talking about hope and change?
有道理 -回嘴回得好，瑞克
Fair enough. -Good clapback, Rick.
这是怎么回事，总统？
What's the deal with that, Mister P?
我正在执行某项计划
I got a little project going on.
需要劳力
Required some hands-on labor.
告诉我该如何降低中心有限曲线
It would require less if you were willing
我就不需要
to tell me how one might
那么多人力了
bring down the Central Finite Curve.
好，我们该走了，莫蒂
Alright, time to go, Morty.
我想知道他在讲什么
I want to know what he's talking about.
对啊，你们都大老远来了
Yeah, you've come all this way.
再给我十秒，好吗？
Can you give me 10 more seconds?
那你现在只剩六秒了
Literally 10? Because now it would be 6.
没关系
Oh, I'm fine with that.
倒数二
Make it 2.
一…
One.
你如果告诉我会很有帮助
Like I said, would have been a big help for you to tell me,
但我需要的情报应该都到手了
but I should have everything I need from you now.
我确认一下
Let me just make sure.
吃前菜的时间无法扫描整个大脑
You can't scan an entire brain over appetizers.
你大部分大脑的内容都在很久之前就扫描过了
Oh, most of yours got scanned a longtime ago.
你可能不记得了
You probably don't remember.
回去看第一季第九集，笨蛋
Check out season 1, episode 9, Rick Heads.
精益求精
Excel sior!
邪恶瑞克 -我们教训了他
Evil Rick. -We kicked his ass!
邪恶瑞克，我喜欢
"Evil Rick." I love it.
他是全宇宙最聪明的人
Smartest man in the universe,
又很自大，很好操控
with an ego so big you can just grab it like a joystick.
看起来很完整
Looks complete.
我还担心要杀光大本营里的瑞克
I was afraid I'd have to kill every Rick
才能得到我要的东西
on the Citadel to get what I needed.
王八蛋，我还帮你担♥保♥了
You asshole! I vouched for you!
他会来都是因为我说想来
He only came here because I asked him to.
对不起，瑞克
I'm sorry, Rick.